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 WarmFrost
Joined: 7/28/2009
Msg: 1
Another Lesson LearnedPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I thought you guys would get a kick out of this because we’ve probably all had a decent share of dates that for one reason or another got marked down as “weird”. Whether it was “you”, “them”, or any combination of the two, it can be hard to say sometimes, but unless it was an absolutely horrible occurrence with far-reaching ramifications on society, there’s usually some kind of humor involved, and maybe even a lesson.

I’ve known this girl since around the time Moses parted the Red Sea, and at some point she got married and had a daughter, which of course transformed her into a match-maker for her single friends. She and I are pretty familiar with each other, and neither of us take each other too seriously after so many years, but a couple of times I did decide to go along with her idea of setting me up with someone. Both times, I wasn’t really expecting anything to develop from these blind dates, but why not get out of the apartment once in a while, right?

The first date went well, but there wasn’t that “spark”, and we departed ways amicably. The second setup though, was a bit more interesting. Calling my friend’s contact—I’m not too sure how friendly they were, so “contact” is probably the best way to put it—the conversation seemed to go okay, and we decided to try out the dinner thing some time the next week.

So, we met downtown and stepped into a restaurant, grabbed a table, and ordered our meals. Up until I decided to open my mouth, we hadn’t really said much that evening, but my question seemed reasonable enough in my mind:

“So—what do you do for a living?” I wondered why I hadn’t asked her this before, and she told me. Again, my next question seemed reasonable, too. “Oh? How do you like doing that?”

Then, with one of the ugliest sneers that I’ve ever seen, she replied through clenched teeth: “F*ck you.”

Her reply didn’t make me particularly mad or confused for some reason. But, hmmm. I checked my watch to see that about two minutes had gone by since we sat down and ordered. I realized that while either of us could have gotten up at this point, I for one was hungry, and she must have been too. We ate in silence, but I wouldn’t describe it as an “awkward” silence, or at least it didn't seem so to me. Rather, she was eating, I was eating, and we happened to be at the same table.

When the check came, I paid for my steak and left.

I wasn’t expecting to ever see her again and I haven’t, but after a few weeks had gone by, my friend told me that the girl had been pretty angry that I hadn’t paid for her part of the meal. At the time, it hadn’t even occurred to me that I should.

Maybe I'm too young to know any better, but my reasoning: a girl has to pretend that the guy is the most fascinating person in the world if she wants a free meal out of him.

 HazelRose
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 2
Another Lesson Learned
Posted: 8/3/2009 2:01:22 AM
Don't know what went wrong, but I would not pay for someone who used expletives on me. F that crap
 Porckchops
Joined: 7/24/2009
Msg: 3
Another Lesson Learned
Posted: 8/3/2009 2:06:27 AM
So, what did she do for a living? I mean there almost has to be a reason why she responded that way. *scratching head*
 MsMolly70
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 4
Another Lesson Learned
Posted: 8/3/2009 2:08:11 AM
WOW .... What does she do for a living? Must be something horrible....
I would have never expected you to pay... I actually never expect the guy to pay.. My first date from this site .... We went for coffee he bought out a 2 for one coffee voucher and let me pay lol.. From then on I always pay for mine or both... I dont understand why girls think the guy should pay... Dont us women want to be treated equal??
Come on girls get with the times!!!!!
 chandlers wish
Joined: 6/22/2008
Msg: 5
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Another Lesson Learned
Posted: 8/3/2009 3:27:23 AM
Would I be wrong? A stripper? That's the only reason I can see your response due to being arrogant.

Because, it's also arrogant to have a lady on a date, find your not interested, eat and say "stuff it", get up, pay for yourself, leave her stranded, having to pay her own meal, you will make a superb husband..

Don't you think that's a tad "discusting" you all that being a Man? Or, pfttttttt. seeya, no respect...

People are people, be a man.... till then end...... then walk.............
 LovinLife_01
Joined: 4/1/2009
Msg: 6
Another Lesson Learned
Posted: 8/3/2009 5:23:08 AM
Like the above posters, my question is WTH does she do for a living to elicit that kind of response to your question?

But, if scenario went exactly as you stated.....then, I would have booked it immediately, hungry or not! There is a burger king on every corner, AND they do it my way!
 Mr. Right..
Joined: 4/23/2005
Msg: 7
Another Lesson Learned
Posted: 8/3/2009 6:09:53 AM
What a weird situation. I wouldn’t have paid for her meal either. Not after her little episode. Of course she will need to save her money for the therapy so maybe you should have picked up the tab.

I’ve had women yell at me for trying to pay for their meal (claiming their independence etc), had women go as far as count out pennies to make sure they paid for their half of the meal and had women not even budge when the check came. I love this part of the date to be honest. It says a lot about their character. You never know which one you are going to get until the bill comes. I like a girl to at least pretend that she has intensions to pay her share.

Here is the bright side of this though. Now you have a great story for you buddies. Whenever I have a gem like this I make a point to share it with my friends just for a couple of laughs, at my expense of course.
 jhartman
Joined: 10/20/2008
Msg: 8
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Posted: 8/3/2009 6:53:42 AM
uhmm.....Does anyone else have a clue to what this lady is trying to say??
 JulieC29
Joined: 6/16/2008
Msg: 9
Another Lesson Learned
Posted: 8/3/2009 7:00:16 AM
Did you ever figure out why she told you to F off for no reason 2 minutes in?

I would have gone and gotten a different table or gone home or gone to a different restaurant. I don't think I would have been able to sit there after that.
 novyguy
Joined: 7/18/2009
Msg: 10
Another Lesson Learned
Posted: 8/3/2009 7:12:41 AM
In most normal situations, yes u should pick up the check, unless she asked u , then it should be dutch. I don't think I would of stayed at all in that situation. You are too kind. After a response to a simple question like that, I personally, would of got up and said thanks for meeting me, now I'm outta here.

If she was upset with u not paying, too bad. U should ask your friend to ask her why she responded that way, just out of curiousity. No chance for a second attempt with an attitude like that.

But hey, that's me. Maybe u like that sort of thing. lol

Better luck next time.
 r90sboxer
Joined: 9/18/2005
Msg: 11
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Posted: 8/3/2009 8:14:39 AM
People are people, be a man.... till then end...... then walk.............


Just took a look to confirm....I am of the "male" gender...... and generally responsible for my own behavior and thoughts.I behave like a "man"...at least according to the standards set by most of my friends....and even a few foes.

Does there exist,anywhere,a "Rule Book" that suggests a "man"[definition??]must stay with a bad situation,pay for it and endure the event to some "acceptable" end for a woman that has offended him?Houghton/Mifflin???
Admittedly....it would be nice to know what her means of employment is.....but really.......
I'm off the table before the word "you" is out her mouth if I had done nothing to earn that tirade.
 MAESBABY63
Joined: 4/14/2009
Msg: 12
Another Lesson Learned
Posted: 8/3/2009 8:26:49 AM
You aren't too young to know better, in my opinion you were a gentleman to sit there with her after she was so blatantly rude and direspectful to you.
I like to pay my way and after a couple times to treat the men or if they insist on paying then I like to cook for them to repay their kindness. I am a giver, not a taker.

If a man would have said that to me I would have said well I'm sorry that I met you and I really have to go now, don't worry about calling your friend to tell her what happened, I'll do it for you it's the least I can do.

When I'm treated like shit, lets just say it doesn't bring out the best in me so the disrespectful a$$ probably would have worn whatever she was drinking.
 Mr. Right..
Joined: 4/23/2005
Msg: 13
Another Lesson Learned
Posted: 8/3/2009 8:31:52 AM
For pure entertainment reasons I would have saw the meal through, but I wouldn’t have paid for her half. That’s like rewarding someone for being an ass. As for doing the manly thing or picking up the bill, or whatever you want to call a guy picking up a check. This principle doesn’t apply anymore or at least not as much. Many women of this generation feel that there is an obligation affiliated when the guy picks up the bill so in order to make sure that that obligation doesn’t exist more often than not the women will at least attempt to at least pay for her portion of the meal in order to avoid any misunderstanding etc.
 cmdrfunk
Joined: 2/7/2008
Msg: 14
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Another Lesson Learned
Posted: 8/3/2009 10:06:08 AM

Maybe I'm too young to know any better, but my reasoning: a girl has to pretend that the guy is the most fascinating person in the world if she wants a free meal out of him.


Or that the guy is in so much demand and goes on so many dates it would be irrational to be buying girls dinner all the time.



Because, it's also arrogant to have a lady on a date, find your not interested, eat and say "stuff it", get up, pay for yourself, leave her stranded, having to pay her own meal, you will make a superb husband..


Women's definition of Real Man:

"Deal with any bullshit we give you. Shut up about it and take it. Who cares if the woman treated you like dirt? You should stay there and take it and STILL worry about her wants needs because that's what men do: they suffer for women."

He didn't have a lady on a date. Ladies don't swear. Especially on dates. And ladies don't lose control of their emotions and act like out like 13 year chicks in a spaz just because they feel slighted.

"Be a man" and "real man" are shaming tactics that use your sense of honor, integrity and pride in being a man against you. They barely have any cognizance of what it is to be a man, so they have no say in deciding what a man is. You decide that for yourself. Don't get confused by what women say. They are not looking out for your wants and needs. They are looking out for themselves, and manipulating your sense of manhood is one very common tactic. BE A MAN (i get to say it since I am one), chuckle a bit, and blow it off because you don't need approval of women for how you run your life.
 IsabelK
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 15
Another Lesson Learned
Posted: 8/3/2009 10:38:30 AM
OP - you must tell us what she does for a living, not that it necessarily has anything to do with her subsequent response.
 WarmFrost
Joined: 7/28/2009
Msg: 16
Another Lesson Learned
Posted: 8/3/2009 12:10:27 PM
It's been a while since this date, but what did she do for a living? I can't remember any specifics now--and I didn't ask for details --but I'm sure that it was graphics design.

Thinking about it, I have the feeling that I'd be getting smacked on the back of the head if I had just left her sitting there alone at the table after the first couple minutes. I'm not quite charming enough to pull that off leaving a smile on someone's face, and would probably still be living it down. Word can get around pretty fast when you don't want it to sometimes.

Like Mr. Right said, I'd much rather have a laugh at my own expense
 curlytop2
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 17
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Another Lesson Learned
Posted: 8/3/2009 12:33:56 PM
Most odd. I think you would have been correct in stating "I'm sensing this isn't going well. Excuse me." Get up and cancel your order and leave. It's too odd to sit and eat a meal with someone like this. It is correct -- you shouldn't be expected to pay for her dinner.

I once met someone and right away he said something rude. I ended up sharing a bowl of soup and trying to be charming and cordial. Lamest evening of my life. Never again. If it sucks right away...bail.
 *MisKa*
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 18
Another Lesson Learned
Posted: 8/3/2009 8:58:03 PM
OP don't you know F*ck you is the new mating call? She wanted you, but just had no way to express it properly

Seriously though, sorry you had a date like that. You were much more a gentleman than I would have been a lady if I were in your shoes. Gawd I think I just confused myself.
 turbulence1981
Joined: 4/13/2009
Msg: 19
Another Lesson Learned
Posted: 8/3/2009 9:12:32 PM
Oh man,

That's really weird. Why did she say "f5ck you" anyways?
 idoc_steve
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 20
Another Lesson Learned
Posted: 8/3/2009 9:40:11 PM
They had ordered the food already, she probably had just taken a mouthful and her words were garbled. This is probably how the conversation was supposed to go:

Him: "What do you do for a living?"

Her: "I sell motor vehicles, such as cars and tractors".

Her (after a bit of food) "Trucks too".

The Op probably just misunderstood. He did say that she spoke through clenched teeth, she was probably chewing.

It happens.
 dardika
Joined: 7/25/2009
Msg: 21
Another Lesson Learned
Posted: 8/4/2009 12:09:41 AM
OP. I don't believe your story.

No one would order a meal to sit with a woman after she said such a thing and no woman would say such a thing unless something earlier had ticked her off, and if she was truly that mad to let something so vile come out of her mouth then she wouldn't have sat there with you, silent eating dinner that she thought you would pay for.

Does not compute!
 fritzle
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 22
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Posted: 8/4/2009 12:12:37 AM
I give you a lot of credit for staying after her rudeness! You are either a super nice guy or a doormat! LOL! What a phsyco....actually double psycho for expecting you to pay for her dinner after such rudeness. Sure would like to know what the heck she did for a living to ellicit such a nasty reply. Actually I have to wonder why she sat through the meal if she was so angy to talk to you that way. Weird!
 Landra2
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 23
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Posted: 8/4/2009 12:26:34 AM
Yeah this doesn't make sense.
So you're telling me you sat there in silence eating your food and it never occurred to you to say "Hey-- sorry! Did I say something wrong?" or "Ouch- is that a sore subject?" or "I'm sorry I offended you!"
A woman giving you one of the ugliest sneers that you've ever seen, saying “F*ck you" didn’t make you particularly mad or confused?? Why the heck not? Does that happen often?
Because sitting there with someonw who said “F*ck you" and you wouldn’t describe it as an “awkward” silence makes you sound like you're not telling the truth.
And to follow up with "gee, I forgot what she did for a living" after your big long post, in which the whole drama was “So—what do you do for a living?” makes this even harder to believe.


a girl has to pretend that the guy is the most fascinating person in the world if she wants a free meal out of him.
LOL But duh she didn't pretend! She said 2 words (“F*ck you") within 2 minutes of meeting you and according to you, nothing more. Unless you call saying “F*ck you" is pretending you're fascinating.
 dardika
Joined: 7/25/2009
Msg: 24
Another Lesson Learned
Posted: 8/4/2009 1:47:51 AM


I think I about wet my pants on that one Landra
 collecting moments
Joined: 8/11/2008
Msg: 25
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Another Lesson Learned
Posted: 8/4/2009 5:47:08 AM
"I only go out to get me a fresh appetite for being alone."
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