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So I went to college with this guy and he drove the school shuttle buses for a P/T job. I saw him all the time and found him attractive. I was too shy to say anything but thank you when I got off the shuttle. One day I was at a party and my purse was stolen from me. He and I started talking and he comforted me and let me use his phone to try calling mine to see if someone had just moved my stuff (no, that purse was long gone with everything). So we didn't talk much but being in the party scene, you meet people and add them on facebook for much less. I added him and he accepted my request. He moved to Paris, France for the past year to teach english abroad and experience the world. Figures we started chatting after he left for across the world! We started chatting on skype sending links to stuff we liked or pictures, sometimes of friends/fam sometimes of ourselves. We haven't video chatted or anything like that but we've been skyping since December 2008. He moved back to the states to NY in June and he plans to come back to California to visit (and maybe move back). He got a phone so we have been texting now too. He agreed to meet up next month when he's in CA. I am myself with him online...have not created a facade...but I do worry that despite talking for 9 months that he could see it as just meeting a pen pal or meeting up with a friend...I haven't told him that I like him because I want to see our chemistry in person before I make that assessment. As much as I feel like I know him, I know I don't(couldn't) know who he is as a whole without the face to face. I still find myself thinking about him all the time and comparing IRL guys to him. I never smile as big as I do when I am chatting with him. Is there any way to know his intentions before he comes to visit or will I be left in the dark till September?
If I ask him then that sort of gives away my intentions without the physical presence to back up my intentions. I have a hard time letting myself give in to the vulnerability of getting shot down before there is anything to shoot down, if that makes any sense. I know I am overthinking but I am hoping for some peace of mind as I am playing some waiting game for him to visit. I've been feeling this way for a long time considering I've been attracted to him for 2-3 years now. I invested too much time in him now and it makes it harder to make that move. I almost gave him my number when he was the shuttle driver hoping that my bold gesture of handing him my number would overcome the fact that he didn't even know me but I found out he had a g/f before I could give him the number. That was before they broke up and he and I started talking. We talk so easily online but he said he's shy around new people too so this could be a real disaster. Ugh I am a fool for this guy. I feel like I am 12 again.
Tsk How do you even know YOU want HIM?? You've put yourself in the position of "hoping he likes me" rather than the smart position of "will I like who he is when I really get to know him?" He's a bit of a glorified pen pal and the "mystery" is what has kept you hooked. Mystery is all about projecting your own fantasies. You say you feel like you're 12 again-- that's not cute. You're a grown woman. Pull your head off Fantasy Island. Either ask him what he's looking for, or wait until you get to know him before deciding you want him. Your profile says "I like psychological dramas"-- you're living one now