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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Why is it easier for women to move on      Home login  
 Svetlana Blue
Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 2
Why is it easier for women to move onPage 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I do not think "moving on" is ever gender specific. A lot of things fall into play when relationships end. Circumstances. There are tons of differences; way too many to add here. Each person is so different. I myself take a while to recover, mind you I have only had 3 major let down my whole life now, but each one was pretty painful. Lining up relationships does not count. People who do that are simply not "thinking". I only know one couple who did that; he was married. She was not. They fell in love. His marriage was going to the shitter period. He left his wife and married my friend. They have been together 10 years and are still together happy. people tick WAY to differently to answer this stuff.
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 6
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Why is it easier for women to move on
Posted: 8/5/2009 5:44:07 AM
Well OP, I think it would be natural for the dumper to move on, especially when that person has another relationship already going. If the dumpee was taken unawares - then that is twice the problem, because there's not only the ending of the relationship but also the shock.

I don't think this has anything at all to do with gender.
Joined: 3/24/2009
Msg: 10
Why is it easier for women to move on
Posted: 8/5/2009 10:41:24 AM
It's not. It is an individual matter, and not gender based.
Joined: 1/15/2012
Msg: 21
Why is it easier for women to move on
Posted: 9/15/2012 6:28:06 PM
I disagree, I have seen alot of proof where is it easier for men. In my case, my ex-husband moved on first. Also I know many divorced women, of all the ones I know the men found somebody first, within a few months. The women much longer. I work in a bank in a small town for maany years, so we get to know our customers very well.
When the wives die, the men almost always remarry, the women many times are left alone when theit husbands die.

Just something that I noticed, seems like mother nature played a joke on us ladies
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 23
Why is it easier for women to move on
Posted: 9/16/2012 9:25:00 AM
Who said it is easier for women? Funny, a friend and I were talking about this just last week and in her opinion MEN find it easier to move on.

This may be another one of those cases of he/she has it easier depending on which side of the fence you are on.

As a woman, I have initiated almost all of the "dumping", many times because the guy doesn't have the nerve to get out of a situation that is clearly on it's way out. So I help move things along, carefully and respectfully, to their inevitable end. I initiated my divorce, and the end of my second long term relationship of 8 years. Now that I am out dating again, I have ended almost everything because it needed to end.

Each instance has made me feel terrible and takes a long time to resolve. Some more than others, of course, but you still go thru all the feelings of depression, sometimes some frustration with people, disappointment and at least for me, hopelessness about my future and finding someone I can connect with for the long term.

All these feelings I tend to hide from whomever I broke up from as I know they are hurting as well and don't need to be subject to any negativity from inside my head.

So it really doesnt matter who breaks up and who gets far as I am concerned you are both dumped on your heads. Each is still suddenly alone and has to start all over again.
Joined: 6/19/2012
Msg: 26
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Why is it easier for women to move on
Posted: 9/28/2012 5:09:19 AM
i got dumped but i initated the dumping by telling her I just wanted to be friends , 1 month before I was dumped. So what is going on? Can anyone please tell me? I guess she dumped me but does that mean shes got "1 up on me" and why does this always have to turn out in some kind of cruel power game?
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 27
Why is it easier for women to move on
Posted: 10/4/2012 10:41:21 PM
these days, women have more options. that definitely helps. just use POF as an example. a woman can get dumped, come on here, and get tons of messages per day from men looking to meet her. a man can get dumped, come on POF, send out tons of messages, and not get one response. so if the guy already feels like crap for being dumped, trying to date isnt going to make him feel any better. the woman on the other hand will get her ego stroked by all the attention shes getting and possibly convince herself how she can do much better than the guy who dumped her.

the support system also helps women. ill use facebook as an example since its on my mind right now. a girl can get dumped, or even dump a guy, post her one sided reasons for the downfall of her relationship, and get a ton of people commenting on how beautiful she is, how she can do better, ect. women are usually more open about sharing intimate issues and will go to just about anyone for support. men, generally speaking of course, usually only share things with a few close friends, if at all. when/if a man DOES share his feelings a little, he just becomes another "nice guy" for people to insult.
Joined: 1/15/2012
Msg: 37
Why is it easier for women to move on
Posted: 10/13/2012 5:23:27 AM
I wish a man (or men) would chime in and give us their opinions on why they feel it is easier for men. Or if they moved on quick....... what was their thinking or in their hearts.......I'm very curious
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 38
Why is it easier for women to move on
Posted: 10/13/2012 8:21:18 AM

Why is it easier for women to move on

Cause they can't remember anything. I mean like, nuttin. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Nil. That is unless of course it has something to do with them and the potential to gain. :O
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 39
Why is it easier for women to move on
Posted: 10/13/2012 10:45:59 PM
A man could walk into a pub with a woman and she could have 10 phone numbers before he'd even get a first name.

That's why it's easier. They can rebound with a simple phone call, if they chose, while he will probably have to spend a good deal more time trying to find someone new - days, weeks and even months for some guys.

That's not the sole reason, but it's certainly a major contributor.

Exactly, except you left out years and decades.

Oh good lord, I think women take it far worse then men do! Men seem to be like teflon. Nothing sticks to them, and they can break up with a woman and sleep with someone else a day later. Women can't do that. We women take months or even years to really get over a break up. Men, ha, they take like two minutes. I don't think men love the way women love. I don't think men bond the way women bond. I am sure that there are exceptions, but I have yet to meet one.

Well let's see. Her new lover spent the first night at her new rental home when we separated. Men take like two minutes? It has been over 6 years for me. You have met one now (online anyway).
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 46
Why is it easier for women to move on
Posted: 10/20/2012 8:23:26 AM
"Denney's research, published last year in Social Science Quarterly, concluded that men who are divorced are 39 percent more likely to commit suicide than those still married. The difference increases to 50 percent when a man is a widow.

Among women, differences in suicide risk among those who were married, divorced or widowed were statistically insignificant."

I believe that this speaks to the topic at hand.
Joined: 9/30/2012
Msg: 47
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Why is it easier for women to move on
Posted: 10/20/2012 11:03:43 AM
I have to agree with some of the other comments on, "It goes both ways" but, I will say from my experience that the reason it seems some women get over these things faster than men is that women are much better at "blocking" out emotions and moving on with an artificial healing. This, of course, is not all women.
When a man actually commits his heart to a relationship, he is vulnerable on somewhat of a deeper level than a female, persay, in that it takes a bit for the average male, who operates with male tendencies to look beyond the physical with their eyes and mind and sink into the inner beauty of a woman with their hearts. Women on average, on the other hand, are emotionally driven and it is easier for them to be hurt but, because they are so "emotional", they have an ability to "block" and, or "lock out" those emotions as well. Otherwise, as other people have said, they either already have something lined up or have already decided you were gone long ago and have already done their secret mourning, if any. Also, again, this is not every male or female. Keep the faith, there is someone out there for you. Just develop and, or reset your preferences and standards, take your time and get to know them(No, 2 weeks is not long enough) and become friends first. If you know how hard it is to find a friend, then you know the conversion to a couple will not happen over night.
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 52
Why is it easier for women to move on
Posted: 10/28/2012 6:10:55 PM
Its not about male or female its about the type of person someone is. Some people get over it faster, some only partially get over it, some take months or even a year or more to get over it - male or female doesn't matter.
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 59
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Why is it easier for women to move on
Posted: 11/25/2012 12:34:18 PM
Because most women seem to have a cold heart.
Joined: 1/15/2012
Msg: 60
Why is it easier for women to move on
Posted: 11/26/2012 5:20:10 AM
Sorry m14shooter, you are wrong. I have even read posts from other forums where they state that women after divorce or death are busy taking care of family and don't date but their ex did. Also more women than men stay alone after their spouse dies then men do. At the risk of repeating myself, where I work every single woman that is divorced, ( four of us) the man found someone or even a few before the wife did.
Joined: 1/15/2012
Msg: 64
Why is it easier for women to move on
Posted: 12/2/2012 12:22:53 AM
See, you are right. I knew that my exhusband never cared about me as much as I cared about him, that is why it was easier for him to be with other people.
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 71
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Why is it easier for women to move on
Posted: 12/4/2012 7:47:44 AM
Personaly i believe it depends on the personality of the man or woman dumped or dumpee. My first breakup it took me a year to even want to leave the house, the second it took longer to get over her than we were actually in the realtionship, well almost i am still working on it. Both were with someone new within a week.
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 73
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Why is it easier for women to move on
Posted: 12/5/2012 7:41:32 PM
My experience almost every time after a breakup is the SHE has had little problem in moving on very quickly.
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 75
Why is it easier for women to move on
Posted: 12/6/2012 6:54:27 AM
Holy cow..women are just handed everything? Seriously?

I've had the hardest time of my life the last three years even getting dates, let alone having sex. I stopped online dating entirely because I was discouraged from the lack of men writing me back and the endless red flag issues that kept popping up with guys online...I am talking pretty justifiable red flags..herpes, lying, men still actually being married, players..stuff they arent going to reveal in their profiles.

SURPRISE!!! End of date.

Anyway, real life I've found is a little better, because you know in a second if someone is interested in you or dont have to suffer thru the endless messages you send out only to be greeted with silence. But still, the idea that relationships and sex are just handed out to women...I just dont understand where that comes from. Sure, if I wanted to contract an STD or sleep with a bunch of a@@holes, I suppose sex is always available..but come on! If you're a gal who wants sex in connection with a loving ain't happenin'.
Joined: 4/3/2011
Msg: 78
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Why is it easier for women to move on
Posted: 12/11/2012 10:03:32 AM
this is no joke ,just what I feel,I think somehow when ,a women breaks up,they can wash a guy out of there system with their next visit from "Aunt Flo"!
Joined: 7/5/2007
Msg: 79
Why is it easier for women to move on
Posted: 12/12/2012 5:37:56 PM
don't fool yourself mate, from my experience it's felt like the other way around, men in my life have been the users and abusers, and it always hurts so much more for the one who gets dumped. now i don't want to ever get emotionally involved with any male ever again because from my experience they are all the same, use and abuse and treat me like shit
Joined: 1/15/2012
Msg: 81
Why is it easier for women to move on
Posted: 12/18/2012 5:53:19 AM
I think a few men may have experienced (the ones that posted on here) that the women have moved on quicker, but in the real world of real people it is almost always the man that leave his wife for another woman, married first after divorce and when their spouse dies, many times women stay alone and the men remarry. I have experienced and witnessed proof of this. Men do have hearts and they do love, but not with the depth that women do.

My ex told me that although he still loved me, he was able to "date" other women much quicker than I was able to after we split. It took him 3 months, myself 3 years.

(sorry, I do realize I did repeat my previous post)
Joined: 8/12/2012
Msg: 83
Why is it easier for women to move on
Posted: 12/18/2012 8:42:45 AM
Here is a speculative take on the situation.

I don't truly believe that women can move on faster than men, but women have more weapons in their arsenal to help them get over failed relationships. These advantages include all that I have listed in the third paragraph for males and also include those mentioned in the second.
Men as a species are hardwired to be especially empathetic towards women in general...(pedestal theory)... So as the story goes, a female whether she be the dumper or dumpee/cheater or cheated on will be able to find a caring shoulder to cry on and console her much easier than males, granted that the playing field is level and neither person has a contingency plan already in place. Another advantage to the female is that she possesses a couple of objects/organs that are highly coveted by males. If she wanted to, she could easily leverage a situation to her advantage using mentioned possessions.
Men on the other hand can overcome these female advantages only if they have one or more of the following things at their command: dazzling good looks and attractive physique, exceptional wealth and affluence, the ability to sweet talk and manipulate, high ranking career or employment position, good relationship and emotional skills, or extremely fun and enjoyable personality.

As mentioned this is just a crude generalization I formed by the many observations I have made over the years. It's not always true in every example of the "moving on" situation, but it has been obvious in many of the "moving on" situations I have been privy to...
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 86
Why is it easier for women to move on
Posted: 12/19/2012 9:25:39 AM

I believe it's easier for men to move on than women since men don't get as emotionally involved as women do. Just from what I've witnessed and learned from experience.

I firmly agree. As women our emotions tend to be a part of our love for a man whereas a lot of men are far removed in the emotion dept. Therefore, it seems easier for men to not only start dating again or engage in sexual relationship with someone new following a breakup.

Studies show that the suicide rate for divorced men goes up dramatically compared to women. More men than women develop depression post divorce. And a recent study found:

"Divorced men were at a significantly higher risk for early death than divorced women.
They had a 31 percent increased risk for early death over married men, while divorced women had an 18 percent increased risk. "

Joined: 3/5/2012
Msg: 91
Why is it easier for women to move on
Posted: 12/21/2012 11:39:46 AM
It is easier for women to move on, because men are horndogs.
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