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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > How far should you go once it gets to the bedroom?      Home login  
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 Arabianangel
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 3
How far should you go once it gets to the bedroom?Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
If i'm ready to sleep with him, than I go ALLLLL the way. There's no point holding back in the bedroom, the holding back should have been thought of outside the bedroom.
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 5
How far should you go once it gets to the bedroom?
Posted: 8/5/2009 3:32:39 PM

Is a man really basing whether or not he wants to be with a woman on their first sexual encounter?

In good part, apparently yes. There are posts all over the forums to this effect - a woman will ask why she hasn't heard from someone she slept with, and, among other replies, several men will suggest that maybe the sex just wasn't good enough. I don't think they're necessarily being gratuitously cruel, or, not for its own sake, anyway. I think they're telling us how vitally important sex really is to them!

The rest of your question appears to refer, albeit a bit obliquely, to specific practices, which I personally do not generally discuss; there's plenty about that here:
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingForum8.aspx
 QTpye16
Joined: 6/29/2007
Msg: 7
How far should you go once it gets to the bedroom?
Posted: 8/5/2009 3:36:11 PM
bella2810,

How far should you go? As far as you both want to. I say if you don't feel comfortable doing something then don't do it. If you lose the guy or girl in the process, then they wasn't serious about you in the first place.

I come to see that most men and women are different when it comes to certain things in the bedroom. Most women have to feel comfortable with the guy to do certain (freaky) things, while most men tend to prefer women they don't care about to do certain (freaky) things and are reluctant to have a woman they truly care about or respect to do these things. I never really understood that about men, but have heard quite a few men say this.
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 8
How far should you go once it gets to the bedroom?
Posted: 8/5/2009 3:37:19 PM
At least now I know how to make Cynful laugh.

Do we (men or women) base the relationship on the first sexual experience? I can only speak for me, but the answer would be yes/maybe. If we are really sexually uncompatable it could be a factor in the relationship just like anything else. If you won't touch, only have missionary sex, can't kiss worth a damn that just might be a deal breaker for many. (extreme examples I know)

Should you oull out all the stops? Nahhhh.....save something for tomorrow night.
 Ependa
Joined: 7/16/2009
Msg: 9
How far should you go once it gets to the bedroom?
Posted: 8/5/2009 3:39:04 PM
imho, as far as you're BOTH comfortable with, regardless of the 'geography' Peace out. K
 Commonsens
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 12
How far should you go once it gets to the bedroom?
Posted: 8/5/2009 3:48:48 PM
You only do it in the bedroom?!?! Booooooring!

LOL!

The whole shabang the first night?
Yes and No.

All is done (several times if possible...) but some things are kept on a progressive scale.
Why?
Because all partners are different and are stimulated differently....so both have to learn the other. ;)
 the SoldierByte
Joined: 12/25/2005
Msg: 13
How far should you go once it gets to the bedroom?
Posted: 8/5/2009 3:54:45 PM
I say...
once ya get to the bedroom.........
"Girl, quit that grinnin and drop that linin..
it's time to get busy"...
---SoldierByte---
 Commonsens
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 15
How far should you go once it gets to the bedroom?
Posted: 8/5/2009 4:11:07 PM
No chandlier?!!?!

am out of here.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 19
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How far should you go once it gets to the bedroom?
Posted: 8/5/2009 4:56:03 PM
I don't consciously hold anything back... but somethings do seem to roll out naturally over time. 'sides you can't possibly do EVERYTHING in one night. I guess if I had to think of what my boundary would be it's likely 1 cm (or roughly 1/2 inch) short of scaring him, lol
 jsphn11
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 20
How far should you go once it gets to the bedroom?
Posted: 8/5/2009 5:24:43 PM
Is a man really basing whether or not he wants to be with a woman on their first sexual encounter?

I think it depends on what his agenda is. If he considers this woman for a possible LTR then he will be more patient - "sex gets better with time". If he only considers her for a casual relationship than he'll expect an instant gratification and will disappear if she doesn't rock his world right away.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 21
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How far should you go once it gets to the bedroom?
Posted: 8/5/2009 5:38:25 PM
Not all the WAY, ummm, perhaps I 'll do some grinding and bumping and do lap dancing and,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
 readyornot57
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 23
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How far should you go once it gets to the bedroom?
Posted: 8/5/2009 6:05:30 PM
Since everyone talks about test driving a car before buying it, the analogy would go like this......I would suppose that after the first experience, I would understand how all the standard features work and what they have to offer. With each ride in the future, I would be checking out the options.
But I would expect the woman to show me the level of comfort and style she gets me to where I am going the very first night.
I had better get to the body shop. My paint is starting to fade. And my tailpipe shakes and rattles.
 robthemailman
Joined: 3/11/2009
Msg: 24
How far should you go once it gets to the bedroom?
Posted: 8/5/2009 6:09:51 PM
How should I know? Geez, look at my pic...my idea of rough sex is when the carpal tunnel kicks in.

Sorry, guess I just had to see if there was a sarcasm detector on here.
 Liver of life
Joined: 6/6/2009
Msg: 27
How far should you go once it gets to the bedroom?
Posted: 8/5/2009 7:38:42 PM
It varies couple to couple. Every one is different.
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 28
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How far should you go once it gets to the bedroom?
Posted: 8/5/2009 7:42:44 PM

For me, once I'm ready to become intimate with a man I'm still not ready to do some things in the bedroom right away. Is a man really basing whether or not he wants to be with a woman on their first sexual encounter?

I was wondering how both men and women feel or view this subject. Is it anything goes once the clothes come off or do you take it slow, build on trust and introduce new things later?


your philosophy sounds perfect to me, bella: "you take it slow, build on trust and introduce new things later".

that's my speed. in part because it takes time to feel intimate with the guy, it takes time for those lustful urges to blossom, and that, for me, is based mostly on how i FEEL about him as a person (as opposed to what he looks like or his bank balance or whatever other things women value in men).

i, too, am not ready to do certain things right away (like oral sex, even tho i LOVE giving oral sex!) because if doing it doesn't feel genuine and honest then i just can't do it.

great post!
 Sabrosura
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 29
How far should you go once it gets to the bedroom?
Posted: 8/5/2009 7:42:54 PM
Huh? How/what you perform will not determine where the relationship is going! Their feelings/emotions outside of the bedroom will.

If you are in the bedroom ready to get your groove on, the "game" is on!
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 30
How far should you go once it gets to the bedroom?
Posted: 8/5/2009 8:29:10 PM
Well I think that is up to the two of you and no one else.
As far as basing ones opinion on the first encounter this is just plain stupid as far as I am concerned. People have to get to know each other and get comfortable with each other. You know what they say practice make perfect.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 35
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How far should you go once it gets to the bedroom?
Posted: 8/5/2009 9:26:28 PM

For me, once I'm ready to become intimate with a man I'm still not ready to do some things in the bedroom right away.

What you are or are not comfortable with is your choice, of course, but it is something that definitely needs to be communicated early on. Most guys are pretty understanding if a woman doesn't want to go all the way right away, but the best way to make a guy feel rejected and ticked off is to start getting hot and heavy, then back away at the last second.
 ohdriver
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 36
How far should you go once it gets to the bedroom?
Posted: 8/5/2009 9:51:15 PM

Is a man really basing whether or not he wants to be with a woman on their first sexual encounter? Is it anything goes once the clothes come off?

Was our first conversation “anything goes”? It was tentative, exploratory, sometimes shy. Never automatic or habitual.

There was surprise, the delight of unexpected commonality. We liked the same things. We liked each other. And silences… when we breathed each other in and didn’t need anything to happen.

The conversation unfolds again. And gradually we unfold within it, moment to moment, unfolding each other, calling each other forth, to become our best selves, our most ecstatic, beloved selves.
And silences return again.

I would want to be with a woman who could be like that. I would want to have many conversations of all different kinds with a woman who could sometimes be like that.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 37
How far should you go once it gets to the bedroom?
Posted: 8/5/2009 10:04:31 PM
If a woman is inhibited, then we aren't a match.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 38
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How far should you go once it gets to the bedroom?
Posted: 8/5/2009 10:20:29 PM

Some things should be discussed and if both people are game.


Where is the beef ?? Talk is prohibited in the bedroom no discussion just do the ACTION get done get over with... And thats the game.......
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 39
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How far should you go once it gets to the bedroom?
Posted: 8/5/2009 10:21:29 PM
I cannot imagine getting to the bedroom without a lot of talking. I'm not the naive, innocent (but loving) fool I was a quarter century ago. I go slow for a reason, esp in matters of the heart. While I may not have to puzzle out where everything goes this time around, getting familiar with new territory does have its pleasures.

Great sex, in my book, only comes from a lot of patience, tlc, and practice. I'm not going to know her buttons very well the first time out, or even the second. Nor will she know mine. We'll have general ideas, but fireworks I'm not expecting. Now amazing sparklers or even roman candles I'll look forward to, But fireworks, lets work up to that.

TK
{I think I'll forgo the the remote igniter the first time around; there's pleasure in the personal touch}
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 40
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How far should you go once it gets to the bedroom?
Posted: 8/6/2009 12:00:52 AM
I take my cue from the woman. There are some who make it very evident that they want to sweat until they dehydrate. But there are others who appear more delicate, more vulnerable. There's nothing wrong with tenderness. Also, I've been with women where the sex wasn't fantastic right away. But, somehow, with certain people, you can tell that it's going to get better.

Personally, I tend to prefer slow and easy the first time. Lots of kissing and gentle touching and making the woman feel beautiful and needed.
 cooldude
Joined: 4/26/2004
Msg: 41
How far should you go once it gets to the bedroom?
Posted: 8/6/2009 1:11:07 AM
Maybe your not ready yet. How long have you know him? A few weeks? If so, maybe a little too soon.
 majyk1
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 43
How far should you go once it gets to the bedroom?
Posted: 8/6/2009 1:39:07 AM
The only answer to this is: Only what you are comfortable with!
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