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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > Laying it all down first - Which is better      Home login  
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 winteragain
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 1
Laying it all down first - Which is betterPage 1 of 1    
The very FIRST time you meet a guy and immediately after hello he says something like "I'm honest, never cheated, love you for who you are, and will support you once I get to know you better", would a switch in your head reverse everything that he just said if he was physically ugly to you? Now what if a physically attractive guy said the same thing, would you give him a shot and put him through the test of time? Basically I'm asking which is a more powerful attraction switch, and you have to pick 1 out of 2: -What a man says, OR what a man looks like.- To keep it simple, you can't choose both and you're not shallow if you pick looks. ALL girls will say both are required, but ONE must be more powerful than the other first. Important note: Picking a choice only applies to foot in your door, no Long term or short term romance, no dating, no friends thing, nothing else as a factor but foot --> door. Simple example: Ugly guy says something to make you genuinely laugh and you still talk to him, you pick what he says first. Hot guy says something stupid but you still talk to him, you pick his looks first.
 louise1359
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 2
Laying it all down first - Which is better
Posted: 8/7/2009 10:46:51 AM
If there was chemistry, the looks would be irrelevent. I can have chemistry or not with people regardless of whether or not they would generally be viewed as "hot." Remember, we girls go for "sexy-ugly" guys (guys who turn us on inspite of NOT being traditionally good-looking; most women have different guys on their sexy-ugly list, but think movie stars like Liam Neeson or Tommy Lee Jones)

Now, if there was chemistry and one guy made me laugh and the other guy said something stupid, boring, or annoying? Funny guy would win. Humor is, for me, the ultimate aphrodisiac.
 justcuzwhatever
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 3
Laying it all down first - Which is better
Posted: 8/7/2009 1:09:56 PM
This is a joke, right?

Good grief, if I'm meeting someone for the FIRST TIME, and he says "I'm honest, never cheated, love you for who you are, and will support you once I get to know you better", I am going to RUN FOR THE HILLS! It would not matter at all what he looked like! Anyone who would spout that kind of nonsense in a first meeting is not ever going to be someone I will want to date.
 Shotzie19
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 4
Laying it all down first - Which is better
Posted: 8/7/2009 1:18:52 PM
Well, I do agree with the ladies about the 'love you for who you are' comment. Love isn't something that you should joke around with. The word should never be spoken unless it was meant... and to mean it, you have to get to know the individual. As for the liar comment ... yes, most men do use every lie in the book to try to get your attention. I've worked in bars for a number of years, and have heard some outrageous comments made to complete strangers... however, don't assume that EVERY guy is a liar. I personally never have cheated. If you are going to cheat on somebody, you shouldn't be with them. I've been cheated on before, and don't believe that anybody deserves to experience that feeling, regardless of the situation.
 A_Pretty_Woman
Joined: 11/9/2007
Msg: 5
Laying it all down first - Which is better
Posted: 8/7/2009 2:14:53 PM
For me personally, what a man DOES largely determines the degree of his attraction. What a man says (provided content of his speech is not explicit or implied threats) and how he looks are secondary factors.
 Worbug
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 6
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Laying it all down first - Which is better
Posted: 8/7/2009 7:28:40 PM
They are all liars. The looker with the line of $shit will win every time, seen it to many times. Was a bartender for many years and watched the women gobble up the bull$hit every time, only to come back next wek wondering where he is, and as always, I would stand there laughing, where do you think he is, he is feeding some other lady the line of bull$shit you ate from him last week.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 7
Laying it all down first - Which is better
Posted: 8/8/2009 10:13:55 AM

The very FIRST time you meet a guy and immediately after hello he says something like "I'm honest, never cheated, love you for who you are, and will support you once I get to know you better", would a switch in your head reverse everything that he just said if he was physically ugly to you?

No, I'd still think he was nuts.

Now what if a physically attractive guy said the same thing, would you give him a shot and put him through the test of time?

I'd think it was a shame he was nuts because he was so cute.

Basically I'm asking which is a more powerful attraction switch, and you have to pick 1 out of 2: -What a man says, OR what a man looks like.

Both. Duh!

To keep it simple, you can't choose both and you're not shallow if you pick looks. ALL girls will say both are required, but ONE must be more powerful than the other first.

No shit! You can't measure personality across a room. Attraction is a requirement, so NATURALLY physical attraction is first. However, if the guy's an idiot, his stay is temporary, so who cares? We CAN choose both or neither. That's the beauty of "surveys" like this.

Important note: Picking a choice only applies to foot in your door, no Long term or short term romance, no dating, no friends thing, nothing else as a factor but foot --> door. Simple example: Ugly guy says something to make you genuinely laugh and you still talk to him, you pick what he says first. Hot guy says something stupid but you still talk to him, you pick his looks first.

Most women AND men would talk to a person they had attraction to long enough to determine interest.

HOWEVER, anyone who talks to me I'll talk back to in a general situation - that has nothing to do with dating though. Therefore, if a man said all that to me, wouldn't HE be wrong since he's not supposed to be talking to me to get anywhere? Why would a man who's not trying to date me tell me what kind of guy he'd be to date? It's irrelevant.
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