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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > after 7 months, what the heck???      Home login  
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 lexismom
Joined: 2/2/2008
Msg: 1
after 7 months, what the heck???Page 1 of 1    
I met what I thought was the man of my dreams (sound familiar?) in Jan. He told me he wanted to get married again, but he's been divorced for 15 yrs. That should have been my first clue. We are Christians, and got along great...together every week end, and once or twice during the week. He is a business owner, and is married to his job. I took him to meet my family, I met his..then he told me (long story short) that he wants someone with a college degree, that parts of my house are messy and because I told him about my family before he met them, he didnt like them. He wants a month break, we had a long talk, then I got a call from him and he said he has been alone so long that he is afraid of committment. I cant help but hold on to hope, but he has a Lot of issues, with different things..dont we all? Should I hold my breath? Looking at what I wrote, it sounds like I am a fool, but I really thought this was a God thing....maybe not, huh?
 lexismom
Joined: 2/2/2008
Msg: 2
after 7 months, what the heck???
Posted: 8/9/2009 8:04:09 AM
Thanks so much for replying..lots of things, but he also cried like a baby at my house the night we talked..2 wks ago today, and said he will miss me so much, that this felt like a divorce.
 lexismom
Joined: 2/2/2008
Msg: 3
after 7 months, what the heck???
Posted: 8/9/2009 8:44:02 AM
No, he cried at my house, then, after talking to his friend, who also told him he was making a mistake, said a few days later, lets talk in a month. This is therapeutic for me, thanks for responding..as you can see, I am on pof, so no, its not like I am waiting. And, thank God for friends too..I do love him though....thought he was everything, but time reveals a LOT!!!
 Okietokie88
Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 4
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after 7 months, what the heck???
Posted: 8/9/2009 9:08:07 AM
F this guy, he sounds like an indecisive putz if you ask me. Who is he to take offense of your messy house and your lack of a degree. As long as you're doing your life on your own I can't for the life of me see what type of qualms he is harboring. I know it hurts but take this time apart to reflect on yourself, and remember the pain in which you are now feeling for it is the tortuous sting of your lovers scornful tactics. I don't believe you deserve this for from the sounds of it you've done everything in your power to be the best "Mate" this guy could asked for and yet he plays games with your heart and soul.


The counsel has spoke
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 5
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after 7 months, what the heck???
Posted: 8/9/2009 1:52:00 PM
As a non-religious person, your story is for me yet another example of how people who try to find their match by how Christian (or Jewish, or Bhuddist, or Muslim, or whatever) they are, will suffer just as much disappointment as the rest of us. There seems to be no linkage between how well someone learns the lingo of a belief system (including atheism, by the way) and how mature they are, how reliable they are, how trustworthy they are.
That said, it's clear to me that this guy is rather dreadful. His list of 'defects' he sees in you, indicates he is a person entirely oriented toward surface issues only. He wants some one to PERFORM THE ROLE of wife, for whom he has already has written a script. He does NOT want a partner in life, or someone to love. His tears were no doubt for himself alone, and his talk of God was all part of HIS script.
Be done with him, be grateful for an opportunity to have your own eyes further opened to the difference between TRUE beliefs such as yours, and people who merely espouse them as an act, or as a 'personality condom.'
 lexismom
Joined: 2/2/2008
Msg: 6
after 7 months, what the heck???
Posted: 8/9/2009 6:18:21 PM
Thanks for the advice, and everyone else too....its just hard, when you thought you were headed toward something, and someone tells you more than once you are his "dream girl" , and how he cried that night...this is just gonna take me a while to get over, but like I said...I am on pof, so I am not waiting.........God bless all of you!
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