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Show ALL Forums  > UK forums  > What's wrong with being selfish?      Home login  
Joined: 9/12/2006
Msg: 8
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What's wrong with being selfish?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
All depends how selfish surely? For instance.....

If a Lady bought a rather delicious looking bag of 10 doughnuts, and said i'm not allowed to have any, then she scoffed the lot........Then probably too selfish (for my tastes)

But if she gave me a couple of her doughnuts, yet scoffed 8 of them herself, that's an acceptable amount of selfish (imo of course)

Actually, there's too many variables in my doughnut theory, i'm off to Tesco for a bag of their jammiest doughnuts because now i am hungry (if you was here, i'd let you have one....yes......even you)
Joined: 7/27/2009
Msg: 9
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What's wrong with being selfish?
Posted: 8/10/2009 9:39:58 AM
Selfish is a "negative" term because......

1. devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
2. characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself: selfish motives

Whoops, bi of a slip-up confession there, Z! Now we all know your priorities!!
Joined: 7/27/2009
Msg: 10
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What's wrong with being selfish?
Posted: 8/10/2009 10:22:28 AM
Well, Z, it doesn't really matter what dictionary you prefer, it does not change the meaning of the word to the world at large. As a previous poster hinted, you tell off little children who will not share - for being selfish!

As for personal comments, I think that anyone, not just you, who openly admits to being selfish (on a dating web site, of all places) in a thread about selfishness, is well worth a comment. If you don't wish your personal views commented on, then don't post them!
Joined: 3/2/2009
Msg: 26
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What's wrong with being selfish?
Posted: 8/11/2009 5:01:21 AM
i dont know about selfish, but some people on these threads dont half bang on? which could be called a selfish comment?
 Forrest Grump
Joined: 6/2/2007
Msg: 32
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What's wrong with being selfish?
Posted: 9/22/2009 3:19:15 PM
Why is the word considered (generally) negatively?

I would imagine that the words “at the expense of consideration for others” has something to do with it.

This (generally) leads to a Win/Lose situation.

Take for example, the following scenarios -

1) A guy promises to take his girlfriend out for a meal. She tells her Mum not to make any dinner for her and goes to get ready for her date.
Meanwhile the guy has gone to the pub with friends and decides to go onto a club with them. He turns his mobile off so that his girlfriend can’t contact him.

2) A woman discovers that her husband has run off with his secretary, having emptied their savings account, and missed several payments on their mortgage. She is left with 4 kids to support with no job, and no finances of her own.

3) A guy goes to the pub at lunchtime to celebrate a work colleague’s promotion. Although he knows he has to drive home he has ‘one over the eight’. On the way home the car in front of him stops at a red light. He brakes too late, swerves up onto the kerb and kills two school children.

I would suggest that the men in the above examples have demonstrated selfishness. They have acted in a way “ to chiefly act with their own personal profit or pleasure at the expense of consideration for others”.

Would you agree OP (and anybody else who would care to comment) that -

1) These are cases of selfishness?

2) That somebody ‘loses’ in each case?

3) That one may view these in a ‘negative’ light?
 Forrest Grump
Joined: 6/2/2007
Msg: 35
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What's wrong with being selfish?
Posted: 9/29/2009 3:20:27 PM
Msg 58

I would not if i was down to my last 2 quid give it away , so may be i am ,

I would suggest that if you gave away your last 2 quid, that would be a selfless act on your part. (Though I can't really say that because the OP doesn't want us to mention 'selfless' acts)
 Forrest Grump
Joined: 6/2/2007
Msg: 41
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What's wrong with being selfish?
Posted: 12/15/2009 1:29:47 PM
Free-as-a-bird (Where did he go?) (Msg 61)

That it only half the story

But one that has been seemingly ignored by your good self.

Let’s go to Msg1

3) How can the word rationally be unhelpful to an individual when it implies to look after ones self-interest?

If we are referring to the word ‘selfish’ , where is the reference to ‘ at the expense of others’?

Everyone goes through life making decisions, and if they’re not at the expense of others, they should not be seen as selfish.

In Msg 37 you asked the question -

For example, a few years back I decided to go to Uni, what is wrong with that?

There is nothing in this statement that shows selfishness on your part.

In my examples in Msg 55 the decisions taken show an element of greed, which is often associated with a selfish act.

Zeegarry (Msg64)

Anyone who is looking after themselves is, by definition, also looking out for others, so they can’t be acting “regardless of others”.

I wonder if the staff of the Mirror Group would agree with this after Robert Maxwell had plundered their pension fund for his own purposes. I don’t think they would feel that he had been ‘looking out for them.

Or, the burglar who is ‘looking after himsel, who basically doesn’t give a toss who he is stealing from….

or, the mugger…

or, indeed the rapist….


The example you gave did not include any other people. A selfish act can only occur when others are specifically excluded.

One of the advantages of living by oneself is that you can do as you please.
Here was me thinking that nobody would mind if I took off my shoes after coming
home from work, and making a cup of tea before I went to bed, without calling me selfish.

Nah, I still am of the impression that if a decision is not at the expense of others, it cannot be considered selfish.

Anything other than that sounds absurd.
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