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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is technology contributing to the rise of singles?      Home login  
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 ruckus123
Joined: 6/7/2005
Msg: 4
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Is technology contributing to the rise of singles? Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Too easy to find dates now so hardley anyone wants to put in much effort into making a relationship last. First problem and they run because they have a few other places they can run too.

Before technology, you were basically stuck in a small are so you made due with what you had.

Now you can meet people across the country or from other countries if you want.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 6
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Is technology contributing to the rise of singles?
Posted: 8/10/2009 11:22:00 AM
I don't think it has much effect either way, it's just the new form of media, people will always be people.
 DocElffington
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 7
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Is technology contributing to the rise of singles?
Posted: 8/10/2009 11:26:20 AM
You CAN make more connections with technology.

But what about the QUALITY of those connections?

And what about "gamers" sitting at home playing video games all day/every day??

I think it's just a mixed bag and totally depenedent on the individual still!

I've seen the internet not work so well for people that excel at meeting and socializing with people in real life.
Yet, closet nerds have a great time using technology to connect with others. It works for them and they're very successful at it.

Is the there a rise of singles?

Could it also be non-technology based reasons?

Like, we've seen the divorce rate and are leary about jumping into anything too serious?

Or, we've seen the results when people "settle" with an SO and we're determined that it's not going to be us?



So, my answer is sure. It's contributing to the rise in some cases. But it's contributing to the decline in other cases. And there's other factors correlating as well.
Is technology contributing to the rise of singles?
Posted: 8/10/2009 2:19:55 PM

Is technology contributing to the rise of singles?


I very much believe it is. As time has gone on and technology has made life easier, we have way more time to think about what is going wrong in our lives instead of focussing on what is going right. Hence, we adopt the "grass is greener" outlook and have problems being happy with what we have.

I also believe, with the technological advancements we have had, it is easier to have a life without really deal with life. I am amazed at how many people think living virtually is reality.

We can have relationships with people on the other side of the world from us, very intimate relationships, yet we often do not know out neighbours or cubicle mates, or even our children. The virtual world has taken intimacy away from us. Relationships are disposable.

I have encountered adults who have no social skills because they live in the virtual world. They do not know how to have a conversation. They do not listen. They do not know how to look into a person's eyes. BUT they do not think there is anything wrong with living life online.
 Commonsens
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 12
Is technology contributing to the rise of singles?
Posted: 8/10/2009 2:30:02 PM
already MANY books on that subject!
Is technology contributing to the rise of singles?
Posted: 8/10/2009 4:30:18 PM
It's not the technology itself that's the problem, but how we use it. You need a balance between technology and real face-to-face socialization. If you go to Starbuck's on a Fri night and go sit at a table with your laptop and your Ipod in your ears and call it socializing with other people, there's a problem.
 Commonsens
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 16
Is technology contributing to the rise of singles?
Posted: 8/10/2009 6:02:36 PM
What a piece of bullpup!

I need extra butter with that popcorn

Unless you are hyper lazy, have psychological or emotional problems and transform cyber communication into a cyber life or a way of living; there is nothing very different then anything else: it is simply the ease of initial contact and the range that change; the rest is actual exactly the same, if you want to, as you are in control of your communication.

See someone on the street you like: say hi
See someone on this hub you like: say hi

Want to basically know the person on the street: give your phone number or msn, send a message
Want to basically know the person on the hub: give your phone number or msn, send a message

Want to know more about this person on the street: ask the person out
Want to know more about this person on the hub: ask the person out

Want to ignore a person on the street: ignore that person
Want to ignore a person on the hub: ignore that person

There is NO differences as it is ONLY a communication device, that all of the basic steps are the same and the end results are also the same: Meet the person face to face and continue the evaluation process until conclusion!

Where some fantasy people are always mistaken is, as anything in this world, some people tend to abuse of something, and yes as this communication is easy to use, many are abusing it and misuse it; but like a bad phone or letter: you have the power to hang up, not opening the letter (hide), or to face the person and tell her/him to move along.

On the opposite end of the spectrum where you stand: The second you hide behind a cyber alter ego (The good old "mask" of "real" life), it is because you are hiding something or are afraid of something, even of yourself; pretending what you are not.
Cyber identification is only a simple mesure of security; what you present and say are yourself...unless you are having a cyber alter ego, a mask..and therefore are a fake; Or back to the psychological and emotional problems variable: hide from reality, de double yourself to handle rejection better, try to fool yourself and make it "inpersonal"; and/or play a (sick) game.
 sweetest
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 18
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Is technology contributing to the rise of singles?
Posted: 8/10/2009 7:36:18 PM
I think yes. Technological ease and improvements....'better', 'faster', 'smarter' doesn't have a model for success in every given application in my opinion.

Greater choice brings with it a culture constantly in motion on judging, weighing and the “next” mentality--the dismissive rationale often not necessarily tied to things of real consequence, concerns or values but more around more shallow contexts.

This to me breeds a culture of people that are rarely satisfied and who struggle continually to seek something that in all reality doesn’t exist--or which cannot exist for them.

In the realm of dating where success is all about the quality of the match and the sync of the human face-to-face connection reliance on technology should be limited.
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 19
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Is technology contributing to the rise of singles?
Posted: 8/10/2009 7:45:17 PM
Technology gives us an excuse to hide behind the safety of our computer box. It's a fact that technology (computers, video games, etc), has dramatically reduced social interaction on all levels. People are finding it hard to relate, much less socialize.
 winteragain
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 20
Is technology contributing to the rise of singles?
Posted: 8/10/2009 7:47:38 PM
Yea technology is keeping me from going outside. Darn you World of Warcraft!
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 21
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Is technology contributing to the rise of singles?
Posted: 8/10/2009 8:27:53 PM
I think it's a mixed blessing, as most changes in our existence are.
I definitely want to put in a few pointed cautions for your research thinking:
1. There's a great deal of technology out there, affecting a great many aspects of life. It's WAAAY too general a question to ask as you phrased it here.

2. You seem to be focusing entirely on the most recent, internet technology, though you don't say so in your question. It would be logical to research for comparison, the social results of television (bringing visions of alternate possible mates into our houses), the telephone (changing the nature of communication from pondered and written, to instantaneous and not-thought-out), as well as the effects of transportation technology (bringing more people into dating range).

3. Don't overlook that the same technology that allows alternative choices for mating, ALSO contributed heavily to the increased isolation of people from one another. The historic evolution of social interaction matrices (so to speak...I often read over serious scholars say 'matrices' instead of 'groups', so that they sound more scientific... I couldn't resist) has been going on for a long time, and has had MANY tremendous upheavals, far more often than most realize. When we went from isolated, warring tribes to peaceful traders, there was a huge change in both the reason for, and choices in mating. The industrial age brought sudden higher concentrations of people together on a regular basis, again permitting a huge change in both choice of, and opportunities to interact with potential mates. Here in the U.S., the creation of Shopping Centers had a HUGE impact on social interaction. In most places, there was soon no such thing as a neighborhood pub, or dance hall, or other LOCAL interaction points, as the idea of isolating businesses away from residences took hold.

4. That the internet provides different ACCESS to alternate mates, probably has nothing to do with the reasons why people may choose NOT TO STAY WITH ONE. It was not DATING technology that made it either possible, or socially acceptable for individuals to play the field. That was established long before the internet came into being, by a number of different developments, including acceptance of unmarried people having sex with each other WITHOUT hiding it, and the rejection of the idea that only through marriage can either sex be truly fulfilled and respected.
 Commonsens
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 23
Is technology contributing to the rise of singles?
Posted: 8/10/2009 8:44:51 PM
Like anything in life, it is HOW you use something that either make it right or corrupt everything. It is the fault of the user and not of the device.

For example: a gun.

To use a gun to shoot a dear: OK
To use a gun to shoot a guy: Not OK

Is it the gun's fault...or the fault of the person who used or misused the device?

So let just stop that crap of blaming the device, and let start to educate the users about the proper usage of the device.
 fleta
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 24
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Is technology contributing to the rise of singles?
Posted: 8/10/2009 9:17:57 PM
The rise in singles is on the rise because the basic values of a relationship are not in place. Most of my friends had working parents being tired when they got home and with very little of loving affection shown between them, eventually most got divorced. I was very lucky my mom was a stay at home mom, every night had very nice dinner with the family being all together, family time is important to keep the relationship together between a couple as well as with the kids.

Technology when used correctly can be beneficial to meet someone you may have never meet other wise. But on the other hand technology could change a person by becoming addictive thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence even if very happy with the person you just said good night to.

For me or those of us who are shy, do not like the bar scene, do not like loud music or concerts for a long period of time or not interested in a smoky environment, makes it hard to meet someone.

My question is where to go to find a family man at our ages that are single among all the people we meet daily. Just imagine asking (man or women) as someone passes by saying are you single, want to date tonight! What looks you will receive! I am also sure eventually the police or white coats would be called and the date you’re expecting or hoping for will change LOL.
 Commonsens
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 25
Is technology contributing to the rise of singles?
Posted: 8/10/2009 9:32:46 PM
My question is where to go to find a family man at our ages that are single among all the people we meet daily.


where does family hang? where will you take your family to? what type of external activity will you practice in family? what sports will you practice? What extra education or classes will go to?

answer yourself those question and you will know, or have a good idea where to look!
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 29
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Is technology contributing to the rise of singles?
Posted: 8/11/2009 9:04:39 PM
Is technology contributing to the rise of singles?

No, the culture of singleness started well before the Weird Wide Web, AOL, widespread broadband, social networking sites, and all the rest that I'm thinking you're referring to when you use the word "technology". I mean, didn't a bunch of guys with no dates invent all this stuff in the first partly as a way to meet chicks?

Some say that because its so easy to find a date these days

Have any of these people actually tried to find a date (much less a decent one) using said technology, or are they just imagining that people are going on line and instantly hooking up right and left? I'm guessing the latter, because we see a steady stream of people with such presumptions and expections who have been on here for like all of four days before coming to the forums asking "what the h3ll is wrong with this place, I can't even get a reply to my emails?" And lots think POF is not worse and maybe way better than any of the alternative well-known pay sites.
 Commonsens
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 33
Is technology contributing to the rise of singles?
Posted: 8/12/2009 3:10:15 AM
Ok you are speaking "literally" here...citing your example...sure the gun is NOT at fault here (per se)..However, from a "logical" point of view...the GUN IS the problem..simply because without the gun, one would not be able to "shoot" the deer....the fact that the gun is available and is being used to shoot the deer, then that makes the gun the problem.


absolutely false because your analogy is oriented toward the mean and not the end, and do not take into account the primary factor: The person.
The tools is to respond to a need, remove the tool but the need remain, witch only make the person re start the circle of building a tool to answer his need.

No gun?, they will use a stick.
Why?
1) the person still exist
2) because they still need to eat! (or really hate that guy Lol!),

but which tool will be easier and more adapted to respond to the need of the person?

a-ha~!

Here, with Internet, we have a corruption of a large scale tool.

100 years ago, the dating ways there the tea salons. People rushed there to show elegantly manners and behaviors in contrast with the daily life. It was the tool of the time; doesn't mean that the cookies served, the surroundings or the enforced dress codes was the reasons on why some people remained single or forced to make people dress and act differently then what they normally been doing on a daily basis, alter ego life; The salon was just another tool to permit people to gather and communicate for a specific reason.
but as the scales and ability to use that tool where specific and limited, the corruption of that tool therefore where also limited and thus had lower impact on a global scale.

I could also have gone with an analogy using Gutenberg and the revolution of printing: from printing the bible to Playboy....the biggest or more powerful the tool is, the biggest corruption is made possible, and also have the strongest impact.
Is it the fault of the printing, the book or the selection of reading the person have made? OUPS! here goes again: the person, the user.

Free will is a b!itch, and freedom without restraint is anarchy. Free choices without knowledge is chaos.
 funbythetoniniowa
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 34
Is technology contributing to the rise of singles?
Posted: 8/12/2009 3:25:21 AM
lov the nic
I think as a species humans were not prepared for the internet... i think it has destroyed more marraiges than it has created....
 Commonsens
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 35
Is technology contributing to the rise of singles?
Posted: 8/12/2009 6:09:45 AM
Crisscrim: you confuse friends with acquaintances, and no, a lot of people do not put all of their eggs in that same basket: they use multiple tools, not just one.

Not a question of semantic: people no longer use that term as it was too long to type (lazy), and "friend" engulfed all categories; the fact remains that they are not friends, just simple acquaintance, and those are the ones that react as you mentioned.
And I don't know about you, but I do not care what acquaintances do or do not: they are not in my private circle.

Social networks are filled with acquaintance who has the potential to become friends after evaluation period and trials.

Just like dating has the potential to become a relationship after evaluation period and trials.
 Sabrosura
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 37
Is technology contributing to the rise of singles?
Posted: 8/12/2009 7:38:21 AM
Technology is a double-edged sword. It provides us with a great networking tool, wealth of information and dating "pools". However, it is also isolating some or making it too easy for people to cheat (to say the least)/commit.
 Commonsens
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 38
Is technology contributing to the rise of singles?
Posted: 8/12/2009 8:23:22 AM
re not using this tool known as the internet or technology as it was intended which can lead to the downfall or relationships, the increase in singledom, and socialization in all mediums downfall. That is ultimately the people's choice though.


And that is exactly what I said in the beginning: it is not the tool fault, but the user; as it is the user who has the power to control the manner in which he use the tool!

So to come back on the topic of dating with internet site: Either you use it properly and use it as a communication tool to reach people... OR as listed below on that simple partial list, fall under sub section 1a, 2 or 2a and others.

1) the ones that seen those web sites as a communication device
to reach with ease and security other people and thus set up
meetings the traditional way in conclusion. Those are generally
composed of healthy individuals who want to found
the right person for the right purpose.

1a) sub group 1a, same view as the mother branch, but abuse the
fact of ease of multiple reach and partial cloaking abilities
to con people under false pretend and with false motives.

2) the cyber alter egos: People who have an alternate life on the
web with different rules and criteria to fulfill an entertainment
need or a healthy output or fantasy life.
a form of game if you want to call it this way.

2a) The cyber alter egos PDI (psychological disorder induced).
Some actually believe that the person they fake is part of them or use
that alter ego to fulfill void or carence withing themselves or
use it to take a form of revenge on anything or anyone, for
whatever disorder they might have under whatever "injustice" they
feel been the victim of.
Some will use that alter ego to obtain some form of attention
that they believe they cannot obtain in normal matter.
There is as many PDI variations as there is psychological disorder and
thus, as many "motives".


Technology is a double-edged sword. It provides us with a great networking tool, wealth of information and dating "pools". However, it is also isolating some or making it too easy for people to cheat (to say the least)/commit


- give us great networking tool..(section1)
- some too easy to cheat (1-a-b, subsection not listed here)
- Isolate some (2-a-e, subsection also not listed here)
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