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 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 1
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Is she too young for me?Page 1 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
A client of mine has a 22 year old employee who has come right out and said to her boss that she is interested in dating me, and flirts with me when we cross paths. I have done my share of flirting back, but nothing more. This girl is beautiful, confident and intelligent, just what I am looking for, but almost young enough to be my daughter. I am fighting the little devil on my shoulder, but don't think I can keep it up any longer.

Would it be wrong to date someone who is 19 years younger? I feel like I am being offered a gift and would be crazy not to accept it.
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 3
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Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/12/2009 9:20:29 PM
Darlin'..I just read your profile. First off, I think it's totally cool that you're from Saskatoon, I am as well. Very few of us swimming in these forums.

Now, as for your dilemma..your profile says: "I need a woman who is secure in her sexuality, or at least willing to release her inhibitions."

Now, although it's possible , it's highly unlikely this girl is secure in her sexuality. Speaking as a woman, I didn't "come into my own" until much later in life..at 22 I was shy, insecure, and very inexperienced both sexually and romantically. It is also highly unlikely you will have much to talk about..although, she could be the exception to the rule.

I would tread very, very carefully if I were you, and go into it with little to no expectations. If all you're looking for is a hot girl to strut around town, then go for it. But if you're looking for something a little more meaningful, it is doubtful you'll find it with her. But hey, you'll probably have fun, even if only for a short time.

Only you can decide if this is a road you want to travel..have you questioned her motives? I ask because I know of a very similar situation where I work. The man is 45, one of the top dogs, the girl, a manager, 21. She's very pretty..he's not so good looking, kinda short, bald, and chubby. But, he has money, a fast car, and power . They have been "dating" for awhile now..it's kinda sad, watching everyone snicker behind their backs, whispering "He just wants the trophy" and "She's after his money"..

*shrugs*

Do what makes you happy darlin', but go into it with your eyes and ears wide open.

 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 4
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Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/13/2009 5:58:58 AM
If you answered 'yes' to any of Landra's questions above you should probably re-think your position...

...if not then give it a whirl, what's there to lose?

It's not a question of 'right' or 'wrong'.....but, if somehow you're feeeeeeling that it is 'wrong' then there's your answer.


but almost young enough to be my daughter

Almost? Heh, do the math again ..... you are old enough to be her father. Nothing wrong in that but, again, who's to know what could happen.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 5
Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/13/2009 6:19:42 AM
OP, it depends upon what you are looking for.

If you are looking to merely date, go for it--that's obviously what you want and despite what naysayers proclaim, there is no reason why you shouldn't date a younger woman.

However, after reading your profile, you have to ask yourself if and when you want long-term, how a much younger woman would mesh with your lifestyle, especially the thought of becoming a stepmother. Do you want more kids? Does she want children?

Of course, everyone is an individual and you must judge your situation (and she must judge your situation) as such.

It's no one's business what you do--if you want to date her and the feeling is reciprocal, why bother with the advice of strangers?
Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/13/2009 6:30:33 AM
Damn, how many times does this need to be asked and answered? A significant age difference like the one you are talking about isn't really a big deal. What is a big deal is the huge difference in life experience. 20 year age gaps are fine if you're 50 and she is 30. But 22? I'm not saying it absolutely can't work, but the odds are strongly against it. But if you look at it objectively as possible, weigh all the pros and cons and still are interested enough in her, then go for it. Just do it with your eyes wide open.

The other part of this equation that I'm surprised no one has picked up on is it sounds like you have a business relationship with this girl, since she works for a client of yours. Without knowing the specifics its tough to say, but I'd be cautious if getting involved with her in any way could adversely affect my career in any way.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 7
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Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/13/2009 6:51:02 AM
hands of gold wrote:
A client of mine has a 22 year old employee who has come right out and said to her boss that she is interested in dating me, and flirts with me when we cross paths. I have done my share of flirting back, but nothing more. This girl is beautiful, confident and intelligent, just what I am looking for, but almost young enough to be my daughter. I am fighting the little devil on my shoulder, but don't think I can keep it up any longer.

Would it be wrong to date someone who is 19 years younger? I feel like I am being offered a gift and would be crazy not to accept it.


Congratulations, hoss, you've hooked a young'un with plenty of spunk. Now, unhook'er and throw her back so that she can grow up.

TK
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 8
Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/13/2009 6:58:50 AM
Op....

If she's happy, and you're happy - go for it!

Why some people feel the need to get the approval of others in love is totally beyond me!

Grow some balls.

If you don't have the self confidence to pursue this, then you don't deserve her.

-8sf8


PS - listening to older ladies who are bitter about their age would be a BAD idea. It's a huge double standards on this site that women who say it's wrong for an older man to date a younger women are totally okay with cougars.

The really messed up thing about that is that the older man dating a younger woman thing can lead to marriage. It's about a committed relationship.

Cougars just get sex.

So... which is more morally repugnant? If I had a daughter, I would MUCH rather she date an older man who actually gave a crap about her and had his life together.

Just my .02
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 9
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Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/13/2009 7:54:52 AM
Is she too young for me?

No, you are too young and/or stupid for her.

She works for your freakin' client, for chrissake. Did it ever occur to you that they're dangling her out there trying to game you?


I feel like I am being offered a gift

Please review "Trojan Horse". You did gradiate 3rd grade, didn't you?
 Sabrosura
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 10
Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/13/2009 10:14:24 AM

I feel like I am being offered a gift and would be crazy not to accept it.


Are you looking for a "gift" or a relationship? You wouldn't want to romance this girl, and have a "bunny boiler" on your hands................I can't see what someone with such vast age difference would have in common, but I guess one just never knows.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 11
Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/13/2009 11:31:53 AM
Not that it makes any difference, 8soldierfalcon, but I was agreeing with what you said until you added the PS:


- listening to older ladies who are bitter about their age would be a BAD idea. It's a huge double standards on this site that women who say it's wrong for an older man to date a younger women are totally okay with cougars.


Not all old women are bitter about our ages. In fact, I am quite happy to be where I am because I am better in every way than when I was 22: I know what I want, I have a lifetime of experiences from which to draw, I am a bit wiser, more knowledgeable, and I even look better because I am not as fat. I am merely older, and since there is nothing I can do about that, why stress or be bitter? We chose our lives and if I didn't like mine, I would change it.

And if you read forums, you will find that there are many older women who oppose older women being with younger men. Women of a certain age do not blanketly endorse May-December relationships whichever way they spring.

You are the one who sounds a bit bitter, though I have no idea why you would be.


The really messed up thing about that is that the older man dating a younger woman thing can lead to marriage. It's about a committed relationship.

Cougars just get sex.

So... which is more morally repugnant? If I had a daughter, I would MUCH rather she date an older man who actually gave a crap about her and had his life together.


Oh, boy, all I can say to the idea that older men aren't out for sex with younger women is:



Develop some savvy.

By the way, it has nothing to do with MORALS but with societal standards. Tell me where a god stated that it is IMMORAL for older people to be with younger people.
 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 12
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Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/13/2009 11:32:02 AM

One of his clients, possibly.

That would be OP's decision on a business basis
and if he's one to mix business and pleasure then
it's on him.

He either didn't think of that or he isn't worried about it.

*shrugs*
 UANDI2NITE
Joined: 8/2/2006
Msg: 13
Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/13/2009 1:02:13 PM
As long as she's in her twenties and its not an issue for her and she acknowledges it and she's of age, hopefully she's not just saying something to be cute instead of curious? Communication is key and as long as no one's cheating then meet her at the finishline, worst case scenario you end up having your jolly's b 4 christmas...
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 14
Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/13/2009 2:00:28 PM
If I am ever single in my 50s, I am totally going to date a girl in her 20s ... just to piss off Landra.

Oops - never mind. She probably won't be with us anymore by then.

;)

My bad.

-8sf8
 Gary4PointOh
Joined: 12/7/2005
Msg: 15
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Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/13/2009 2:52:10 PM
Landra asks and says the following, and my answers and remarks are inserted:

I think men who date girls young enough to be their children have some serious ego issues.
-You're entitled to your opinion, but if they both are attracted to each other, then stop the jealousy. Women date young guys all time, too. I see "older" women's profiles on POF all the time saying they seek "younger" aged men. I'll bet you don't hunt them down and message them with your disparaging remarks.

Why would you want to be with a young adult with very little life experience instead of a grown, mature woman your age?
-Grown and/or mature is relative. Here, the "grown" woman is 22 years old. Where is the logic that women 41 years+, around his age, always have good, positive life experiences to offer into a relationship. The word "baggage" come to mind?

Are you insecure and need a youngster to fawn over you?
-Supposedly, her attraction to this man was unsolicited by him. So needing has nothing to do with it. More hidden jealousy in your question.

Do you think a youngster makes you look like a stud?
-In the big picture, probably, yes it does. Men, show hands- how many of you would hate it if dating a much younger woman who came on to you made you look like a stud?

Do you think your friends will slap you on the back and envy you for your supposed sexual prowess?
-Once again, her attraction to him is voluntary. This catty question tries to create this man as some kind of predator.

Do you think you can play "wise, older man" and teacher to make yourself feel more important?
-Yes, to wiser, older man, it goes without saying. And possibly, he could also feel to be a positive person with good advice in her life. But not the selfish or worthless presence that you insinuate.

Do you want a youngster to squeal and gleefully carry on when you do nothing more than act your age?
-This question really digresses to taking more pot shots at this man. Some men like to hear squealing and gleeful carrying on.

Do women closer to your own age intimidate you?
-This is an assumptive question with no foundation and meant to unfairly bait this man.

Are you one of those men who insist they look and act "younger than their years" and need to prove it by hanging out with a girl better suited to date your son?
-By this point, Landra is so worked up, she has lost touch of the fact that this man has given no indication that he seeks only younger women. Her remarks and questions have become petty and nasty.

I'd love to see you hang out with HER friends LOL Wouldn't that be fun? A 41 year old man surrounded by a gang of 20 year olds.
-If her gang of 22 year-old friends enjoyed that, um, yes, please.

And.. what would the wives of your friends think of you?
-What a perfect example of a woman having no understanding of how the simple male mind works. This question is the last thing we would care about. Not even a considerable one, either.

If being with a girl young enough to be your child is some kind of a "gift" you feel you must "accept" then like I said, it would make me wonder what motivates you, because this is all about your fragile ego.
-No mystery involved here and no reason to wonder. If a younger woman expresses a voluntary interest in a man, no questionably fragile ego is involved.

All of these remarks and questions from Landra originate from her desire to create one big guilt trip for this member. She is so distracted with loathing that she ends up calling the 22 year-old woman a child.
___________________________________________________________
I date women of all ages, including those 10-20 years younger than me. I guarantee that 9 out of 10 men who read this member's question are saying stop with the thoughful pause and just go for it and enjoy yourselves, just like any other date.
 Gary4PointOh
Joined: 12/7/2005
Msg: 16
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Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/13/2009 3:04:29 PM
More wishful, catty thinking. You assume this member is stupid and will be manipulated.
So, only ~22year-olds would use him, but never, let's say, 52 year-old women from Virginia.
You ladies just can't wish him well, can you?
 Gaddflye
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 17
Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/13/2009 3:18:00 PM
Women at 22 are usually not ready to settle down and just want to have fun and get a variety of adult life experiences under their belts, so to speak. My concern would be the impact dating her and eventually breaking up with her would have on any business and/or personal relationships in her workplace or family or yours. You and she never want to s**t where you eat.

At the age of 66 I am now sportdating a 26 year old. She has three small tats and a couple of piercings. It feels different but seeing each other is her idea, not mine. She just wants the experience and her attitudes toward adult activities are quite casual. I have no personal or business ties to her, her family or employer so when it is over it will be over.
 Puppydog54
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 18
Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/13/2009 3:53:09 PM
I'd be a bit cautious....... but GO FOR IT, DUDE!
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 19
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Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/13/2009 7:34:26 PM
Sounds like a bad business decision to me. It's your client's employee. Your client's very young, very immature employee. Think about that.
 Calgary bbw
Joined: 12/20/2005
Msg: 20
Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/14/2009 1:09:32 AM
Opinons are like A$$holes Everyones got one, but she seems to have 1000's maybe thats why she single? maybe thats why lots of us are, but ... if your happy then go for it, whatever makes your boat float, dont lissen to too many people, just do what feels right.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 21
Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/14/2009 2:43:44 AM

Your client's very young, very immature employee.


How do you know that she is very immature? When I was 22, I had been married for two years and was running a household and going to school.

Young does not mean immature and age does not guarantee maturity.
 Gary4PointOh
Joined: 12/7/2005
Msg: 22
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Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/14/2009 9:51:38 AM
Enjoying the company of a youthful young lady is an indication of having issues?
Maybe people like Landra who can't live and let live when an older person dates/marries a younger person are really the one with issues.

But more importantly, I think that man or woman should be able to just prefer younger mates than them without all the Sigmund Freud wannabes picking their lives apart.

Notice that the acerbic posts on this subject are coming from "older" women.
 coveredinpaint
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 23
Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/14/2009 1:58:03 PM
Too young? Nah....

I don't even need to know how old you are, but if the girl is over 18 then she is never too young, especially if she is DTF.
 HazelRose
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 24
Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/14/2009 5:41:24 PM
The best answer is:

Does her feet touch the floor when she uses the restroom?
 *topchef*
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 25
Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/14/2009 5:55:34 PM
Hey OP....go for it, why not. As long as your ego can take it when she realizes she's made a mistake and dumps your butt for someone younger and richer.....or she tells you one day she's pregnant and then you can have 18 years of payments reminding you of how hot and young she once was.
 dbguy79
Joined: 5/7/2009
Msg: 26
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Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/14/2009 7:14:58 PM
I think 22 is too young and I'm 29.
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