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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Sadomasochism..yeah i started it...lets talk about it!      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 CharmedinKtown
Joined: 5/25/2009
Msg: 2
Sadomasochism..yeah i started it...lets talk about it!Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Spell check... man, my whip is never close enough when I need it!!!!
 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 6
Sadomasochism..yeah i started it...lets talk about it!
Posted: 8/13/2009 2:41:42 AM
the term 'vanilla' came about to describe sex with no kinks or variety, nothing out of the ordinary.
It sounds a lot better than 'boring'.

I myself prefer my sex more along the lines of 'Ben & Jerry's' LOL
Beth
 Chrìs
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 9
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Sadomasochism..yeah i started it...lets talk about it!
Posted: 8/13/2009 5:11:12 AM
dave632 is my hero
 Okietokie88
Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 10
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Sadomasochism..yeah i started it...lets talk about it!
Posted: 8/13/2009 7:49:42 AM
I'm into it, I had a mistress for a good while but I've since grown out of the non intimate portion of it. I wouldn't mind having a GF that doubled as a mistress but having a woman in which no shared connection administer "Discipline" seems asinine but to each his own.

I always wanted to open a dungeon here in Florida but I don't know if it would catch on
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 12
Sadomasochism..yeah i started it...lets talk about it!
Posted: 8/13/2009 9:43:25 AM
Read the Complete Works of de Sade in college (bought the paperback edition).
If taken as a lifestyle, a prescription for sexual behavior- YIKES!!!
There are all kinds of ways to express and to implement one's will. I went in another direction.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 13
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Sadomasochism..yeah i started it...lets talk about it!
Posted: 8/13/2009 10:22:14 AM
closer2u wrote:
Call me silly......but I like my sex with love...not pain.

and

yeah...call me WAY VANILLA when it comes to NO PAIN!


Sounds about right.

However, while it pains me to refer to the the Gauls, I might be able to go as far as "FRENCH vanilla" sex.

TK
{Strawberry-Rhubarb or Apple pie and French Vanilla ice cream - yup}
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 14
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Sadomasochism..yeah i started it...lets talk about it!
Posted: 8/13/2009 10:33:04 AM

man, my whip is never close enough when I need it!!!!

I gotcha covered...
*hands MsC_B (missing the T hon.. ) her 36" dressage whip*
Try that... it's good for nooks and crannies. *smiles sweetly*

OP... you are NOT going to get the answers you are looking for here because this is NOT a kink based site. Most people here will not admit to these kinds of things publicly.

There are as many shades of SM as there are stars in the universe. Not too many will have the same answers. I have very general and broad definitions that I work with, that pretty much covers EVERYONE on the planet... so to ME we are ALL into SM. *smiles*
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 15
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Sadomasochism..yeah i started it...lets talk about it!
Posted: 8/13/2009 11:48:18 AM
That's pure evil there m_church... pure evil. I LIKE it!!
 spitfire6844
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 19
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Sadomasochism..yeah i started it...lets talk about it!
Posted: 8/13/2009 6:39:23 PM
I like to give commands during sex; but I don't inflict pain. I do like a woman to dig her nails into my back and arms during sex--so longer nails on her are a plus. Don't mind seeing/feeling scratches the next day. That's the extent of my S&M.
 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 21
Sadomasochism..yeah i started it...lets talk about it!
Posted: 8/14/2009 12:36:01 AM
I have been up and down the scale, from mild spanking to tying a bf in a doorway and whipping him with a 6 foot leather whip until he came...without me ever even touching him (of course I was in a leather corset and thigh high red leather boots and chains). Most people like a taste of it, like using handcuffs or scarves to tie up their partner, but aren't really into pain, they seem to just enjoy the bondage aspect of it, and not in daily life, more in the bedroom only.
When you live the life, you have to be fully trusting of your partner. The pain must always be accompanied with pleasure, and there must never be any activity that is not mutually enjoyable. Let me assure you, if you do make the decision to live the life, be prepared for washing toilets naked, cooking dinner in leather and heels. Your life is not just about a sex act, it is about incorporating sexuality into every portion of your life and keeping yourselves slightly aroused at all times. It can be an amazing experience if you are a secure person in your own sexuality and confident about who you are. If you can handle it, you will find yourself turned on all the time, and I'm talking ALL the time. Your mind will wander to wonder what the next surprise your lover has for you, and you won't be able to wait to get home and get into that french maid costume, or that little leather dress, fishnet thigh-highs and five-inch heels...complete with riding crop. Interested yet?
I thought so.
Beth
 pleasurelimits
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 22
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Sadomasochism..yeah i started it...lets talk about it!
Posted: 8/14/2009 1:09:33 AM
bwana217, after over 20 years as a sex therapist and psychoanalyst I am interested in the oft displayed amateur attempts at this profession, (psycho-analysis). Psychoanalysis is very difficult even with all the ingredients and the use of tools such as the Minnissota multi-phasic personality index and others, even after some extensive work and research I wouldn't attempt the one line 'expert' analysis of the type you find here. I am so looking forward to practicing in Florida and finding out the American take on all things sexual. I did once spend some time with a woman who could orgasm from 'choking' however I have such deep rooted beliefs in how a human should be treated that I just couldn't cum ( hahahaha) at it under any circumstances.
 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 23
Sadomasochism..yeah i started it...lets talk about it!
Posted: 8/14/2009 2:16:11 AM
The perfect relationship:
"Hurt me'' cried the masochist
"No" replied the sadist
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 24
Sadomasochism..yeah i started it...lets talk about it!
Posted: 8/14/2009 10:14:56 AM
It's not something that turns me on.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 25
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Sadomasochism..yeah i started it...lets talk about it!
Posted: 8/14/2009 10:33:33 AM

OK....I'll admit to this.There is some initial pain involved in anal sex.....I enjoy anal sex....so does that mean I'm a masochist?

Other than that...DON'T HURT ME.....please.

So you are saying you've never had your hair pulled in doggy while doing anal? If you have, did you like it? Ever had your ass smacked?? And liked it?? Do those things make you a masochist?? Maybe in the loosest sense of the word, yes. What I was getting at is that everyone's definition is going to be slightly different, with definite areas of overlapping. Not everyone is going to agree on this.


Men have admitted to jerking off into thier own mouths,or taking a strap on up the a$$ by women and being considered gay by the masses,or jerking off in public....so I doubt this is the case. lol

Last time I checked, jerking off into their own mouth wasn't illegal. Beating someone with a whip or a cane or purposefully running currents of electricity to them while they are forcibly restrained IS. Most people are smart enough not to admit to doing those things on a public forum where any and everyone will see it and where the potential personal ramifications are huge. People lose their jobs. People lose their families. People lose their friends. All because they let it slip that they like to beat their partner or tie them up or worse. Sodomy is illegal in some places. As is owning more than 4 sex toys... can't remember off the top of my head which state it is.. but I will not be travelling with more than 4 toys in my suitcase. Hell.. oral sex is illegal in places too.
 hungry_joe
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 29
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Sadomasochism..yeah i started it...lets talk about it!
Posted: 8/15/2009 8:31:26 AM
Sodomy defined by the UCMJ Uniform Code of Military Justice US Military as sex other then missionary. So philatio, cunnalingus...etc would be considered sodomy. As far as S&M it depends on how much you like it. Light spanking can be considered S&M .

Nothing Sweet: I admit I had to look it up. Now that I come off the ceiling, I find myself curious how that would work? IDK if I'd be confortable with something like that...it seems a little extreme in hurting someone I had an emotional attachment for. I would have to think long and hard about it.
 CoolMintCreme
Joined: 8/18/2009
Msg: 30
Sadomasochism..yeah i started it...lets talk about it!
Posted: 8/25/2009 9:51:27 PM
I will be glad to talk about it as soon as I get permission from Mistress.

Ouch!

Coming, Mistress.

 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 31
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Sadomasochism..yeah i started it...lets talk about it!
Posted: 8/25/2009 10:27:51 PM
closer 2u wrote:
There's no shame in sexual expression of ANY KIND....


I wonder, c2u, would you extend this statement to pedaephilia then?
What about pederasts?

Is NAMBLA an OK group in your mind?

I, for one, have never engaged in, nor defended, BDSM, S&M, or any other behavior in which one person harms another for sexual pleasure. Even if it is consentual, I think it arises from some inner sickness that prevents the person(s) from experiencing healthy sexual or other interpersonal interactions.

while I, too, have a high pain threshold, I would no more desire to have a woman rake my back with her nails; nor would I want to pull her hair to a degree that would engender pain. WHY?

TK
{Now, on the other hand, I have seen some leather outfits that are quite provocative}
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 33
Sadomasochism..yeah i started it...lets talk about it!
Posted: 8/26/2009 6:32:05 AM

Sodomy is illegal in some places. As is owning more than 4 sex toys... can't remember off the top of my head which state it is.. but I will not be travelling with more than 4 toys in my suitcase. Hell.. oral sex is illegal in places too.


Bama!! It's Alabama, No1bby. It's illegal to own or sell ANY sex toys there, according to some posts by 'Bamans that I've read on here. Lol The limit of four must be one of those more moderate southern regimes, although I can't for the life of me think which that could be. Lol
In Oklahoma, it is a felony (10 years imprisonment) for committing a "crime against nature". Actually, the Okie statute reads "the detestable and abominable crime against nature, committed with mankind or beast". Seems the State was targeting homosexuality with this enactment, but the drafters couldn't even say that unspeakable word, and opted to express their indignity with the chosen prose. As the courts have applied it, any kind of sodomy is verboten. In 1927, the Oklahoma Court of Criminal Appeals made national news by being the first to apply the prohibition to just about every sex act a lesbian can commit. But that sovereign state has incarcerated hetero couples as well, for the detestable and abominable stuff (snowman stuff? lol)
Lol Shyt, I lived there for 15 years, and didn't know I had been committing "felonious acts" before breakfast til shortly before I moved from OK to PA (where it used to be illegal to kiss someone while seated on a garbage can, but only on Sundays). And all those roughnecks were storied for falling in love with four-legged females. It is almost haute couture for a roughneck's jean inseams to be tucked inside the top of his boot- it's to expedite the planting of the hind legs of their lovers, inside the boot, to make escape more difficult. lol

But if you're traveling, and just from what professional athletes have owned up to, it seems that hotels are kinda like embassies in foreign countries, and the local laws don't apply to visitors. Oh, and the athletic dorms at OU enjoy a similar exemption.
 jacob8088
Joined: 9/6/2009
Msg: 35
Sadomasochism..yeah i started it...lets talk about it!
Posted: 10/4/2009 12:14:58 PM
I find it quite boring. Speaking for myself, I prefer just plain old fashion f*cking
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 38
Sadomasochism..yeah i started it...lets talk about it!
Posted: 10/12/2010 4:21:32 PM
^^^^^ Gotta pretty much agree. I get spanked for more than enough other things- really not looking for same from a lover.
But there's nary a drop of divine blood in me, so can't claim worshipability, lol. Pedestals are such tricky things, lol, and I don't know how to do any miracles.
Closest I ever got was barefoot water-skiing. It tickled.
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 39
Sadomasochism..yeah i started it...lets talk about it!
Posted: 10/13/2010 6:45:35 AM
I am recently undecided about the whole BDSM thingy ..I had always thought ...WHY whats pleasurable about pain ???

then I got this gig one night ..many Of you know that I do security work at bars and clubs and parties ...Yea I'm a bouncer ... many of the clubs and parties are not the vanilla type ..hell most of them add new definition to the word kinky ..ok ok I work swinger parties ...

One night I worked this hotel party ..they had rented the whole top floor of the hotel ..they had guest rooms you could rent and had three color door tags red meant private party... yellow meant you are welcome to come in and watch and if invited join in ...and green meant come in and dive in the pile ... they had theme rooms like a room size naked twister game ... room for mechanical devices such as swings and sabian machines ..as well as other reciprocating devices ...then they had the dungeon..complete with ST.Andrews Cross ..hot wax table ..and a staff of professionals in the field to demonstrate and assist in the use of this equipment

I watched as volunteers were tied to the cross and flogged ... both male and female ..I saw both men and women have multiple orgasms without their gentiles ever being touched ...just from the leather clad professionals spanking them with the flogs ...and I say professionals because they described to the audience just what hitting the subject in certain places and the effect it would have ...when a guy can ejaculate without having his penis even touched ..they made a believer of me ...as well as one young lady I know very well who volunteered... and within minutes she was having multiple orgasms and standing in a puddle of her own cum ...after it was over she said we will have one of these before the week is up ..she said sex had never been that good ..and knowing her I know she has seen some pretty wild situations

Now they were paying me for security ..and though they invited me to play also ..I declined ...but If ever I were to have the opportunity when not working ..you can bet I will try it
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 41
Sadomasochism..yeah i started it...lets talk about it!
Posted: 10/13/2010 7:23:15 AM

Bama!! It's Alabama, No1bby. It's illegal to own or sell ANY sex toys there, according to some posts by 'Bamans that I've read on here. Lol The limit of four must be one of those more moderate southern regimes, although I can't for the life of me think which that could be. Lol


whytwater as a life long resident of Bama ..as well as an ex police officer ...I can tell you that sodomy laws are never enforced on consenting adults ... sodomy charges only come into effect when the act is perpetuated on someone who is not legally able to consent ..either due to age or is mentally incompetent

as for toys ... you can have as many as you want here ..they just cant be sold in a part of the store that is accessible to anyone under 21 ..they like pornography are back room items in novelty shops ...however for some of them you do have to have a concealed weapons permit..

.and some of them it is illegal to operate while driving ..this law came about from the famed rabbit wreck..it wasn't a pretty sight ...one paramedic asked .."is she breathing " the other said no but she is buzzing ...then she regained consciousness and wrapped her legs around his neck ...they had to use the jaws of life to free him ..and that may not have worked if the batteries had not run down

there is now a bill in the State house to outlaw Duracells
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 45
Sadomasochism..yeah i started it...lets talk about it!
Posted: 10/13/2010 8:25:04 AM
No one ever knows what they may discover.
My friend who is normally a very dominant person, hires professional help (female) once a month or so to be tied up, beaten, and sodomized with a strap on. He is too embarrassed to seek this out from someone who isn't a professional yet, perhaps a kink group could help him out.
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 47
Sadomasochism..yeah i started it...lets talk about it!
Posted: 10/13/2010 8:38:59 AM

"Safe word"? - does everyone practicing S&M utilize a "safe word" when they want the action to be ceased?



everyone ..safe words are the mainstay rule ...in almost every kink ...many conventional swingers have two safe words of sort ..in swinging/swapping both parties have veto power over the encounter ... many have two safe words ..one means its on lets go for it ..the other means Im not into them lets go home ..these are words known only to that couple and they are words that wont come up in normal conversation ..just something to let your partner know you are on the same page ..very few will take one for the team ..every one I have ever discussed BDSM with immediately brings up the use of safe words
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 55
Sadomasochism..yeah i started it...lets talk about it!
Posted: 10/13/2010 10:31:03 AM

@deerdog: There are some people who play without safe words. I think most of those people are in seriously, long-term relationships where they know each other well. I know of others who find them a false sense of security and feel like they replace a top's attention to where his or her bottom is. Personally, I won't play without them, and the majority of the people I know won't, either. My experience is not that tops ignore where their bottoms are when they have safe words, but apparently some people have experienced this.


your experience in this is way deeper than mine and of my associations ... so I agree that in my case a safe word is of major importance



Why not just verbalize "I'm not into this........." or something along the lines vs. having a "safe word"? Excuse my ignorance...just curious is all.



the main reason for code words in a partner swapping situation is mainly to be able to bow out gracefully... no one wants to come out and say ..I don't like these people ..lets go home ..or I really want to do them if you do

my wife and I do go to swinger parties when I am not working them ... but we are not swingers ... and most of the regulars know this and there is no problem ... the reason we go is ...first there is hardly any pressure and unlike vanilla clubs my wife never has to be blunt to stop guys from hitting on her ...No always means NO at these events ...maybe not after people get to the rooms but ....and second reason my wife and I love to dance and these events usually start in a hotel ballroom .. third I am deathly allergic to cigarette smoke ..so I am sick the next day after going to a vanilla club /bar ..all hotel ballrooms are smoke free..when I work a vanilla club it cost them dearly ......but when we go we never get a room and always tell people up front that we have to go home after the party ... most times we say we have to work the next day ..that saves explaining why we are at a swingers party yet we are not going to go to someones room for sex ..yes I could be blunt and say no we don't do that ...but I have found it just goes over better to tell a little white lie ..and let the regulars explain to them if they come back that we don't play ..when I am working it is easy to say I don't mix work with pleasure

same with the code words ..its much easier to bow out without drama if both of you are on the same page and just say ...sorry we have to go home the baby sitter has to leave
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