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 ThePurpleMarker
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 1
Parents with children who are picky eatersPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Alright so I've grown curious as too how common this is in kids. Because although my daughter, will eat anything you put in front of her and I hope that doesn't change. Whenever my nephew is with us, just getting him to eat is a hassle because he'll only eat a few select items. And no matter how much you try and encourage eating other things he simply wont do it. Which for me is hard to fathom because when I was younger I wasn't really given that choice, it was eat what was put in front of you or don't eat anything at all.

So I'm wondering, is one or more of your kids is a really picky eater? And by that I mean they only eat a few select things and turn there nose up at everything else. If so how do you deal with it?
 justwant2no
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 2
Parents with children who are picky eaters
Posted: 8/14/2009 8:24:35 AM
One one hand, I believe kids today are picky eaters because parents are overindulgent. My motto is and always has been (like my mother's), if you don't like it, go hungry.
 ThePurpleMarker
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 3
Parents with children who are picky eaters
Posted: 8/14/2009 8:39:10 AM
I believe kids today are picky eaters because parents are overindulgent. My motto is and always has been (like my mother's), if you don't like it, go hungry.


I would agree, most parents are overindulgent with what kids eat. And your motto as well as your mothers, is one I follow and my mom did as well. And I agree Fab-Mom making two different meals just too appease a finiky child doesn't work for me.
 justcuzwhatever
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 4
Parents with children who are picky eaters
Posted: 8/14/2009 8:41:09 AM
My daughter was never a picky eater because she wasn't allowed to be one. Period. There was a "three-bite rule" in my house... you have to have three bites before you can tell me you don't like it. Then you have the alternate of a cheese sandwich instead... and no, I'm not going to grill it for your fussy little butt.

When her girlfriends would visit, their mothers always told me "oh, she's so picky, blah blah blah" and I would tell them my rule and I'd actually get eye-rolls from the parent, obviously thinking that wouldn't work on their little darling. And invariably that same parent was shocked to discover that little Betty did indeed like 15-bean-and-ham soup! Or green beans with butter and parmesan. Or arugula salad. Or whatever it was I made for dinner.

The only exceptions I have ever made have been for food allergies... but with my daughter's friends I always asked the parents if it was a "real" allergy or a "she pitches such a horrendous fit when we make this that we no longer force her to eat it" allergy. Yeah, it occasionally pissed off a parent when I asked, but I always explained that I have one niece and three nephews with the latter form of allergy so I have no patience for it.

And no, I didn't expect small children to enjoy escargot or squid or Schezuan food... so they weren't on the menu until my daughter hit her teens.

Bottom line? My job was to cook dinner. Theirs was to eat it.
 ThePurpleMarker
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 5
Parents with children who are picky eaters
Posted: 8/14/2009 8:55:09 AM

There was a "three-bite rule" in my house.


I really like that rule, definitely something that makes sense too me. And in the future if need be, I'm going to try that one out.
 ~JustSimplyMe~
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 6
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Parents with children who are picky eaters
Posted: 8/14/2009 9:20:53 AM
my kids are picky eaters....my sons pickiness stemmed from him breaking his teeth when he was little and I think he associates some foods with the discomfort they caused. My daughter would eat everything in front of her until brother said he didnt like something.
I have stopped the dinner time fights...I don't find it a battle worth fighting actually...and if they don't eat all their dinner they aren't allowed to eat anything until their bed time snack. Kids won't allow themselves to starve.
 carterscutie85
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 7
Parents with children who are picky eaters
Posted: 8/14/2009 9:30:00 AM
My neice is 5 and an EXTREMELY picky eater. She has about 4 things she will eat, and sometimes will take 2 or 3 bites and refuse the rest. Her doctor said as long as she eats something she'll be fine.
When I was younger it was the same thing as OP's household. We either could eat what my mom made or we didn't eat at all.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 8
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Parents with children who are picky eaters
Posted: 8/14/2009 9:43:21 AM
I never gave the kids a choice. They ate what I cooked that night. I did allow them to help plan a menu for the week before we went shopping and I never bought frozen nuggets or anything like that.
The rule is in my house that you can eat all the fruits and vegtables you want.
 red_relaxed
Joined: 7/18/2007
Msg: 9
Parents with children who are picky eaters
Posted: 8/14/2009 10:36:18 AM
My three grown kids weren't picky eaters at all, my grocery bill proved that. They had their individual dislikes but would eat almost anything. They were taught to be polite and eat everything on their plate when they were invited to someone else's home as well.

My six year old grand daughter however, is a picky eater. She has trouble with textures. I indulge her. Yah, yah...I know...however, I'd much rather have positive experiences with her than fight about "what" she's going to eat or not. We often compromise.

Carolann, great rule...one of mine too.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 10
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Parents with children who are picky eaters
Posted: 8/14/2009 12:34:16 PM

One one hand, I believe kids today are picky eaters because parents are overindulgent. My motto is and always has been (like my mother's), if you don't like it, go hungry.


I have to agree with justwant2no. If they don't want to eat it then I refuse to go out of my way and prepare 2 meals just to appease a child who is finicky


Fundamentally I agree. However... I have a child who has a dual diagnosis of ADHD and Asperger's... and has textural issues with foods. He will NOT eat things because of how they feel in his mouth. And this is changing on a daily basis. Stuff he'd eat a year ago, he won't eat now.

I have been in the position where I was forced to choose... cater or starve my child. I refused to make meal times a battleground.. and was nearly sick to my stomach the few times it happened where a 30 minute meal turned into a 4 hr long arguement ending with me BEGGING my child to have just ONE bite. So, yeah.. while I agree with you.. I don't agree.
 bernta
Joined: 9/3/2007
Msg: 11
Parents with children who are picky eaters
Posted: 8/14/2009 8:57:14 PM
I confess I have a picky eater. *hangs head in shame*

My other four are good eaters but my picky one is just that, really picky. I think the texture thing is a lot of it for him. OJ...but only if there's no pulp. Grape jelly but not strawberry...seeds. He's very consistent about it so I don't think it's a behavioral thing. He really just doesn't like much.

The three bite rule sounds good on paper...but would result in my son throwing up! He has more than once. And "eat it or you get nothing" doesn't work because he would go with nothing! He really just won't eat what he doesn't like.

The funny thing is, he loves to cook and bake. He will help me in the kitchen anytime and with anything...but then he won't touch whatever we made.

He's also started really complaining about going to his Dad's for visits. When I pushed him about why, one of the reasons he gave was that they force him to eat things he doesn't like. (Which sometimes results in him throwing up and then getting punished.) If there are things a child doesn't like...when is forcing them to eat it too much? Do you win the battle but lose the war?
 The.Jolly
Joined: 7/7/2009
Msg: 12
Parents with children who are picky eaters
Posted: 8/15/2009 12:28:47 AM
my 3yr daughter will mash on anything
my 5yr son will not.. unless he has had it before.

my trick is to make w/e it is that i want him to eat that i think he might like. i call him into the kitchen or a different room to keep it random. tell him to close his eyes as i hold a piece of the food in my hand hid. tell him open your mouth. pop it in there and tell him to chew. he will always ask what is that. i reply before i tell you, do you like it? 90% of the time he says yes and then i tell him.

that's the jolly formula.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 13
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Parents with children who are picky eaters
Posted: 8/15/2009 6:38:00 PM
My boys were relatively picky when they were younger, they have both pretty much grown out of it as their tastes have matured.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 17
Parents with children who are picky eaters
Posted: 8/16/2009 12:11:54 AM
My kids can both be picky eaters, and sometimes what they loved last week they wont touch this week.
I buy those canned spaghettios in bulk for the nights when someone doesnt like what i made, that way i dont have to cook a seperate meal, you juust heat em up for like 3 minutes in a saucepan, give a flinstone vitamin, and nobody goes to bed hungry.

Places like TgiFridays and IHOP are a godsend, everyone can order what they want and no mess to clean.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 18
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Parents with children who are picky eaters
Posted: 8/16/2009 5:48:15 AM

my trick is to make w/e it is that i want him to eat that i think he might like. i call him into the kitchen or a different room to keep it random. tell him to close his eyes as i hold a piece of the food in my hand hid. tell him open your mouth. pop it in there and tell him to chew. he will always ask what is that. i reply before i tell you, do you like it? 90% of the time he says yes and then i tell him.

that's the jolly formula.

The three bite thing I agree with because the child is expected to actually try the food and if he/she really doesn't like it, there is one alternative to what's for dinner. In my house, we ate what mom put on the table but I truly didn't like my mother's chop suey or her ribs so I was allowed when we were eating those main courses to make a pbj. I think if kids honestly don't like what you put on the table there should be an alternative but it would be a simple cheese sandwich, untoasted, lmao, or a pbj or something the kid can make himself.

I don't agree with the jolly formula, maybe because my daughter recently told me that when she was 8 and refused to eat fish at a restaurant, when my brother went to the restroom my mother forcibly opened her mouth, shoved a big bite of fish in it and told her she had to chew and swallow it. She was apparently screaming loud enough for my brother to hear it and while irritated with the kid for not wanting to try the food when he left the table, came back and told my mother to leave her the hell alone if she didn't want to eat something. Something about reading the whole close your eyes and trust me about this surprise, just doesn't sound like something I would want someone doing to me. I also hate fish and would not welcome that surprise at all.

Jolly, obviously this has worked for you and it could for many kids but does the kid have the option of spitting it out if he doesn't like it?


My kids can both be picky eaters, and sometimes what they loved last week they wont touch this week.

Been there, done that but it was often the next day, sigh. And why will they eat the crap out of something at someone else's house but if you make it, they won't touch it? Now, both boys are eating like teenage boys, I think my grocery bill liked it better when they were pickier.
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 19
Parents with children who are picky eaters
Posted: 8/16/2009 7:02:55 AM
In our day, we had to eat what was given to us, couldn't leave the table till we clean our plate.

Mom swears I loved liver(ugh!) I could not go anywhere till I ate it. I hate brussel sprouts and saurkraut(some German huh?)

Anyway, forward 20 yrs, I would not make my child eat anything he did not like. He is picky. He goes through phases of what he will eat, mac and cheese for a time, then something else after awhile. As unAmerican as it sounds, he hates Turkey. He won't eat it even on Thanksgiving or Christmas.

We always let him have the alternatives as long as he eats. No sweets, though. Thankfully he never cared for candy or sweets much.
 ThePurpleMarker
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 20
Parents with children who are picky eaters
Posted: 8/16/2009 12:44:39 PM
i think it would be a little difficult for the op to tackle a finicky eater who only visits on occasion. i think all she can do is try to encourage the child to try new things!


Well for me, I'm not even bothering to try anymore, he's not here often enough to deal with the fight that comes with it. Because his first response is "I don't like that" and every time he does that, my 3 year old being the mimic she is copies him. And it takes a few days before she'll start eating the item again, which is rather frustrating. I was just curious how people with picky eaters have dealt with this. Although my daughter isn't picky right now, if it does change I'd like idea's on how to work on it. And so far most of the posts have definitely given me ideas to try, if I ever have too.
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