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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why are girls so fickle on here?!      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 SexyKG74
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 3
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Why are girls so fickle on here?!Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Let her be...you deserve better...if you let her in your life again, there's a chance she will treat you like "good old backup man" again...I hate to say this, but I know certain "women" who have treated good guys like this...but unfortunately the guys like the women so bad, they're weak enough to go back to them...looking at your photo, you look like a man...not a doormat!

If you're still in the early "getting to know you stages," there's nothing wrong with going out on dates with more than one guy...where she went wrong was when she made "double plans" as someone would end up being stood up...not cool!
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 5
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/14/2009 1:12:37 PM
I'm confused. Did you meet this girl and date her? If not, how can any of it be offensive to you? A lot of people talk to more than one person before meeting anyone, and they narrow down choices until they decide on one...they don't consider conversation and interest exclusivity. Before you meet anyone and a lot of times quite a while after, it's a crapshoot.

Perhaps you shouldn't be so hopeful so early. That tends to cause frustration if it doesn't pan out. A lot of these things don't pan out. Dating is like that.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 9
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/14/2009 1:32:50 PM
Yes, I did which is why I asked if you met her already because your reaction is intense enough to think you have. If not, again - it's a crapshoot. You mentioned she talked to two and chose one. Again, that's what I meant by this happens...

Sure, it'd be great if a lot of things happened, like people waving to each other on the freeway before they cut someone off, but honestly it's not something that happens a lot.

The world (evident specifically on the net) is made up of millions of people all with different mindsets about what's rude and what's not. You may feel this is, but obviously she didn't. It's not better or worse it's different ways of doing things.

People you've never met are going to blow you off. How you deal with this is your choice...but it won't change the way people act. You can get upset which doesn't affect her, or you can expect that some will do this and not hope for too much until you know them well enough that you know what they'll do.

We all date more than one person until we date one exclusively, sure, but don't attempt to go after two guys for the SAME NIGHT and then BLOW OFF ONE OF THEM!

Would you rather she kept the dates and just set them up so you both met her one after the other? Chances are she had you in a holding pattern until she knew what he was doing for sure - but since she didn't confirm a time, there was no plan made.

P.S. How do you know for sure that she DID go out with him that same night? Did she tell you that? If so it sucks, but it happens all the time, normally women who do this just don't say it happens...to avoid this reaction.
 winteragain
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 11
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/14/2009 1:37:40 PM
wow she's a weiner. you really should date her and dump her the next day it'll bring peace to the world and all of earth's children
 templar717
Joined: 7/25/2009
Msg: 13
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Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/14/2009 2:04:22 PM
John,

Almost the same exact thing happened to a friend of mine and of course we razzed him. Then another friend said "Don't get mad. Get even" So when she responded back because things didn't work out with the first guy he set up a date with her to meet her at a nice restaurant. And of course he didn't show.

Personally, I don't recommend being a jerk. I think I would have just texted her after she tried to rewarm things up and let her know that I was not longer interested after being treated that way.
 BBG38
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 15
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/14/2009 2:22:42 PM
Hey there, Yes i must admit you have to laugh at the internet dating mentality...I like the new idea of supposed "dating"...with the phrase..."lets be friends and catch up sometime..." I don't have sex with my friends....lol
 HazelRose
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 16
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/14/2009 3:42:40 PM
This conversation is reminding me of a song:

There's something happening here
What it is ain't exactly clear
There's a man with a gun over there
Telling me I got to beware
I think it's time we stop, children, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
There's battle lines being drawn
Nobody's right if everybody's wrong
Young people speaking their minds
Getting so much resistance from behind
I think it's time we stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
What a field-day for the heat
A thousand people in the street
Singing songs and carrying signs
Mostly say, hooray for our side
It's time we stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
Paranoia strikes deep
Into your life it will creep
It starts when you're always afraid
You step out of line, the man come and take you away
We better stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
Stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
Stop, now, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
Stop, children, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down


=For What It's Worth by Buffalo Springfield
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 17
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/14/2009 4:18:00 PM
Well first off, that's part of the game -- online AND offline. You didn't even meet her yet, so there's no exclusivity. In FACT, your situation points out the reason why YOU should "play zone", not just "1 on 1 coverage". I've had girls write me eagerly, we communicate great, set up a tentative time to meet... then poof - gone. You don't want to get your hopes & emotions intertwined with someone before you meet them, and it is people-shopping. If a better thing comes along, they'll go for that. With that said, I'm sure many women (and guys) are horrible at window shopping and end up passing up good options because they like shopping so much.
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 20
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/15/2009 12:04:35 PM
So ONE woman was fickle with you and that means girls on here are fickle? Wow. Good to know.

One idea would be to NOT put so much stock in text sweet nothings. Let 'em either put up (and no, I don't mean sex) or shut up.
 boo372
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 21
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/15/2009 5:26:37 PM
I wouldnt take it personally, She is just being flighty and unfortunatly there are alot of women out there who are. She was unfortunatly keeping you on hold just incase the other guy didnt work out. That is pretty jerky if you ask me. No wonder it didnt work out for her. I believe what comes around goes around. Seems she back on the make. I guess it didnt work out well for her then. To bad...your not bad guy..
 privat33r
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 22
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Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/15/2009 7:05:29 PM
I spend a lot more time around the old guys and the boats, they don't complain that the fish don't want to be reeled in.
 kingwoman
Joined: 4/20/2008
Msg: 29
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Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/16/2009 2:05:33 PM
The site is full of fickle people....male and female alike........its life and the nature of dating sites and not worth getting bothered about? Some day we will all weed out the players and users and find a perfect match...
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 30
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Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/16/2009 2:25:01 PM
OP: This happens with women on here constantly. Online women have dating add. They always think there's something better, and always run off chasing some other delusion before they give the previous person a chance. Don't really understand the thought process since this will NEVER lead to a relationship or even a date most of the time. I've put a note in my profile telling people that like to do this to not bother contacting me. I'm looking for an actual relationship and only believe in concentrating on one person at a time. I firmly believe that people with that type of dating mentality will end up cheating on you even if you did end up in a relationship with them anyway.
 roguevampire
Joined: 5/8/2009
Msg: 33
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 9/1/2009 12:28:00 PM
Its the age we live in. years ago, this sorta thing didn't happen. thats why i've become very disheartened about dating and women in general. I don't wanna be just another guy some girl is dating. I want a girl who will treat me like a god. Nowadays, women just aren't like that. they are always looking for something better. always having the lookouts for a potential. better man.
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 34
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 9/1/2009 12:33:58 PM
Lol, John I don't think it's just online dating. I think that is rampant in real life too, not that being fickle is negative especially among women because they have" hormonal" changes all the time so their mind is changing "all the time" that's a question you only can ask god my man.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 35
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 9/1/2009 12:41:36 PM
I'm trying to figure out when women and dating was any different - women always went for men they liked, except for when they had no other options. No man wants a woman who drops everything for him because he's the only one paying the bills I hope.
 thwipp89
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 38
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Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 9/4/2009 11:53:30 PM
OP- probably 80% of men and women are flakes and/or a-holes. that's just the way it goes. you gotta separate the wheat from the chaff, as the saying goes. it ain't easy...
 VF102
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 39
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Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 9/5/2009 6:23:14 AM
Because most are on here for the attention to boost their low self esteem levels.

They also have bought into the feminist lie that they are equal in every way to a man. Well, don't see too many guys in their 30s dating women in their 60s now do you? Women have more beauty when they are younger. Men have more power when they are older. Men are attracted beauty. Women are attracted to power.

Gonna be allot of old maids in retirement homes in the future. No spouse, no children, no grand children and the way the econ is going, no money either. What a way to spend your last days. I'll be enjoying mine thank me very much. :)

Jason the Fed
 spitfire6844
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 41
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Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 9/5/2009 8:30:04 AM

So she was making two dates at the same time and for some reason chose this other dude...AND she wasnt even going to tell me had i not texted her when i did.


Happens all the time. That's why it's smart to make first meetings casual and light----coffee, meeting at the park, Jamba Juice....things like that. It allows both people an easy and casual exit if plans change. No one got played----you two don't even know each other if you've only texted and emailed a few times.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 43
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 9/24/2014 7:31:11 PM
Bumping up an old thread. Some men and women can change their mind at any time for any reason. Thus the last minute cancellations. People saying that they had a good time after a date. Then 1-2 days later send the other person the "you are nice, but I don't think we are a match" email / text.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 44
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Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 9/24/2014 7:54:37 PM
The reason women are fickle online is simple. There's 2 to 3 times as many men online as women. So they can be as fickle as they want. If a guy even has a hair out of place, it's a death sentence online.
 jessebunnies
Joined: 2/18/2013
Msg: 45
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Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 9/26/2014 6:07:23 AM

The reason women are fickle online is simple. There's 2 to 3 times as many men online as women. So they can be as fickle as they want.


I'm fickle in real life as well. It's not just with online. I go months without a date sometimes even though I could probably date every day of the week. Reason being is that I'm 39, this next relationship I'm aiming it to be the forever relationship, I know what I want and I'm not messing around with people who I can't see forever with. I have better things to do then spend my evening entertaining a guy whom I am not attracted to mentally and/or physically just for a free dinner and something to do.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 46
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 9/26/2014 6:52:12 AM

The reason women are fickle online is simple. There's 2 to 3 times as many men online as women. So they can be as fickle as they want. If a guy even has a hair out of place, it's a death sentence online.

I have never understood this line of reasoning. It doesn't matter how many men there are to choose from if either one or none of them is a man we have interest in.

If you need a knife to cut your steak - whether or not you get 1 or 100 forks or spoons brought to you, you still won't get your steak cut any quicker.

Therefore on or offline isn't relevant (unless this is about a woman who will date just to keep from sitting home or being single - do you want that type of woman in your life?) as the ratio isn't a factor in who you're actually interested in. If I am single and open to (not hunting down) a relationship if you put me in a room with a lot of men 100 or 1000 - and none of them are my type I'm still not going to pick one.

JMO
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 47
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 9/26/2014 6:56:35 AM
^^^the theory is...a human being always hopes the next fork has an edge to it.

that's why slot machines get so much action. No matter how cynical you feel, you pull it one last time...just in case.

ever meet someone who quotes, "well, you can't win if you don't play" or "you miss 100 of the shots you don't take"?
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 48
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 9/26/2014 7:08:22 AM

the theory is...a human being always hopes the next fork has an edge to it.

That theory doesn't work if any human has been around enough forks to know they're not made that way.

that's why slot machines get so much action. No matter how cynical you feel, you pull it one last time...just in case.

This theory involves investing money to get a windfall. It can be said that all the money you don't gamble to win is money you still have.

ever meet someone who quotes, "well, you can't win if you don't play" or "you miss 100 of the shots you don't take"?

If you have a room full of people you don't want you WILL miss all 100 (or as the theory goes, 100%) of them. While it's more likely you will meet one guy you like if the number is higher...it's not that much more likely, unless of course you're the type that's going to try and make do with what you have which tends to waste the time of the people you're making do with.
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