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Joined: 6/3/2009
Msg: 1
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What do you mean by DRAMAPage 1 of 1    
Will some kind gentleman please explain what you all mean by saying "no drama" . I see this in so many profiles it's become a laughable cliche and in all honesty I tend to bypass any profile that includes negativity "no this, no that". If you focus on negativity that is what will find you, and I like a profile that is upbeat and positive. Everyone has had not-do-desirable experiences - we don't have to dwell on them. My other favorite (being facetious) thing is 'no games" - NOBODY wants that - man or woman - do they really think someone will say to themselves "Oh, gee - I love to play games with peoples' heads, I better not reply to THAT profile" - it's really funny!
Joined: 7/29/2009
Msg: 2
What do you mean by DRAMA
Posted: 8/14/2009 12:43:59 PM
I see your point with the whole why post something like that because nobody is going to be upfront and tell you.

You're 38 years old, so your dating experiences are a lot different than mine.

I've found girls my age want to text ALL DAY LONGGGG and if you don't text them back they think you are a complete jerk. One girl went as far as to tell me I treated her like trash because I didn't text her back.

I just don't get women, most are incredibly insecure and hypocritical. They have guys hitting on them left and right but if a man talks to a female friend of his, she wants to kill him.
Joined: 1/9/2007
Msg: 3
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What do you mean by DRAMA
Posted: 8/14/2009 12:48:55 PM
Think: OC, 90210. Think about anything that would happen on those shows... and don't do any of them.

There's lots of clichet "no games / players / liers / cheaters" etc. I think most of these examples are bad, non productive, and arguably counter productive (e.g. they "flag" you as someone easy to fool).

But, there's still some "negative" things that I think are constructive. If something's a deal-killer, and easily verifiable, why not have something like: please no smokers, no 420 friendly, have a car, be financially stable, etc... There's a difference between dwelling on something, and mentioning something that is a "must be" or "must not be".
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 4
What do you mean by DRAMA
Posted: 8/14/2009 12:52:13 PM
examples of DRAMA

telling us your problems, endlessly, at the first stages of a relationship, through phone/text, and then getting angry at us when we try to offer advice, Calling us insensitive and that "we dont listen".

WE DONT NEED YOUR PROBLEMS, not yet anyway, i just want to go out with you once or twice a week and have fun, i dont need your problems!

taking away our poker night, thats an example of drama

making plans, then saying "i dont want to be here anymore" once we get there, thats an example of drama

witholding sex to teach us a lesson, also drama

the list can go on forever.

basically any female action that is illogical to the male's point of view = drama
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 5
What do you mean by DRAMA
Posted: 8/14/2009 1:08:15 PM
A drama queen (or king) is someone who typically gets upset over all disappointments or problems, big and small. And excess of negative emotions. And emotionally unstable person.

From the "Wise Geek" website:

"Conflicts and disappointments are natural side effects of the human experience, but for a certain personality type known as a "drama queen," life's little setbacks can trigger explosive emotional outbursts and other irrational behaviors. The term "drama queen," or less frequently, "drama king" is usually applied to someone with a demanding or overbearing personality who tends to overreact to seemingly minor incidents. A drama queen often views the world in absolutes, and only has two settings on her emotional control button; zero and ten. Psychologists might describe a drama queen or king as a neurotic personality with histrionic tendencies, meaning they tend to become needlessly dramatic whenever order is disrupted."
Joined: 6/24/2009
Msg: 6
What do you mean by DRAMA
Posted: 8/14/2009 1:15:46 PM
Drama is endlessly complaining about your problems but never doing anything to resolve them.

This is a prime example. Back when new episodes of LOST were on, I would get together with a group of friends every week to watch the new episode. One week, I pull into my friends driveway to see him standing there. I get out and he says "Thanks god you are here. Y has gone off again."

Apparently as soon as Y came over she broke out into tears and proclaimed "I am just going to whither up and dry away in this desert!"

This was because about 2 months prior her boy friend (who she admits she did not love) of two years broke up with her. This is the same boy friend who about 6 months prior to their break up she suspected of cheating, magically found he had a profile on a dating site. She made a fake profile to entrapped him. He took the bait and she got all worked up for two weeks to break up with him. She never did.

That is drama.
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 7
What do you mean by DRAMA
Posted: 8/14/2009 1:29:47 PM
"you didn't put the seat down shows you don't value you me as a person"
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 8
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What do you mean by DRAMA
Posted: 8/14/2009 1:31:43 PM
I know, I'm not a guy. But I love this quote about what drama is. If you want to learn how to create drama, here it is. If you want to avoid it, do the opposite.

"How to Create Epic Drama In Your Life"

"Are you getting your minimum daily requirements of chaos?
Do inner peace, gratitude, and contentment occasionally creep up on you and sabotage your ability to indulge in your anxiety?

Here’s a quick and handy two-step process for making sure your world is full of epic drama.

1. Believe and act like your safety, security, success and happiness are dependent on other people and forces outside of you that you can’t control.

2. Try to control them.

For those of you who prefer to keep it more complex and time-consuming, here are seven practical tips for making sure you achieve a high drama existence.

Let me be your drama director as we shout out the traditional opening words…
“Lights! Camera!! RE-ACTION!!!

The Seven Spiritual Steps To Successful Drama

1. Always Visualize The Worst Possible Outcome

Everybody accentuates the negative on occasion. What if I go broke? What if I lose my house? What if I get sick? What if I’m alone forever? What if I’m in this relationship forever? It’s perfectly human to use the power of negative thinking from time to time to conjure up worst-case scenarios about the future. But as your drama coach, I want to inspire you to focus all of your attention on the most negative possible outcomes all of the time. When this discipline has been achieved, you then relax into the certainty that you can always find something to freak out about in any situation, and that fear will never abandon you again.

2. Procrastinate & Downright Avoid Meditating

Being too busy and active to still your mind is essential on your path to drama-realization. Good drama requires us to be fully lost in our roles as actors on the stage, reading our reactive lines and getting engrossed in our stories. Meditation teaches us to become conscious of the part of us that is an audience member, witnessing and even enjoying our own performance. This detachment is the death of drama, and must be avoided at all costs. So keep busy, inside and out. Have you answered all your emails today? Is there something good on TV? Who needs a shoulder to lean on? Always make sure that your life and your mind are filled with clutter and free of those empty spaces between your thoughts that can threaten and disturb your absence of peace.

3. Get Good At Repressing and Exploding

Drama majors are often found swinging like a pendulum from one extreme to another, skillfully avoiding meddling with Mr. In Between, where the boredom can put you to sleep. All you need to do is to stuff your feelings till you can’t hold them in any longer and then explode without restraint or concern for anyone, especially the ones you care most about. As a practice, try being 100% nice and sweet in a relationship. Stretch yourself to accommodate as much and as long as you can, and then take the lid off and let the steam out, like Mt. Saint Helens does once in a while. Drama Queens (and Kings) know that there is nothing as satisfying as having a totally unpredictable volcanic eruption after being good, silent, and inactive for a spell.

4. Leave Your Inner Child Alone Inside You Without Parental Supervision

When our inner kids get scared, they create some really juicy drama, but only if we are committed to denying them our own re-assurance, empathy, guidance, and loving boundaries. When we have the will power to not succumb to such self-indulgent self-help nonsense, our inner kids will have no choice but to try to get those needs met solely from others, and usually through some pretty high drama antics. When two people in a relationship abandon their kids at the same time, oh boy, that’s when the fun kicks into high gear. The adults have left the vehicle, and you can guess who’s in the front seat, banging on the horn, flooding the accelerator, yelling out the window, and playing extreme bumper cars. Yippee!

5. Set Huge Goals, Maintain Unrealistic Expectations

There is nothing as beneficial to a dramatic lifestyle than developing the habit of reaching for the stars, falling short of your lofty goals, and punishing yourself for failing. Taking big leaps and falling flat on your face is paramount for maintaining low self-esteem, which is the foundation of all good drama. Reach for the mountain-top, and on the way don’t look down at your feet. Taking one step at a time is for people who lead uninteresting lives, filled with a lackluster sense of gentleness, peace, and other dismal downers that drama majors are skilled at sidestepping.

6. Judge Your Judgments

Every human being judges, but only the ones that have learned the art of judging their judgments excel in creating melodrama. Have you ever been known to shame and blame yourself for feeling afraid and stuck, telling yourself that there is something really wrong with you for not moving forward? Good! You are on the right track. Now, take your next step. Judge your judgments! Tell yourself that you should know better than to shame and blame yourself. Heap loads of guilt upon yourself for stooping yet again to the low consciousness of self-criticism. This will make you quite an energetic downer that can’t help but suck energy from those around you. You’ll be the lifelessness of the party! Can a good, high drama soap opera be far behind?

7. Get Grounded In The 3 B’s…. Blame, Blame, & Blame

Blaming yourself has already been covered. But don’t rest there. Blame everyone else too. Life’s not going the way you want? Blame! Blame first, ask questions and take responsibility later, if at all. Appropriate targets are Mom and Dad, friends (if you still have any), your mate (if they are still around), the Bush administration, the Clinton administration, big corporations, small minds, and, of course, God. Self-responsibility is highly overrated, and leads to issues losing their charge and actually getting resolved, which flushes good drama down the toilet. Instead, let it overflow, all over the tile of your life. Blame, Blame, Blame!

Affirmations for Good Drama

* Every day in every way I am stressing out over everything, real or imagined.
* Everything is working together to conspire to bring the worst possible outcome to my doorstep.
* Life is against me and I am doomed.
* I count my bills every day, and they are always more numerous than my blessings.
* God always gives me something to complain about.
* This, or something worse, is now manifesting for the highest cost of all concerned.
* I no longer have to work to create drama. Drama happens effortlessly and naturally, all around me.
* Whatever calamity I can conceive, I can achieve.
* I am always in the right place at the right time, successfully up to my ears in trouble.
* I always have everything I need to manifest everything I don’t want.
* All is hell in my world.

--Scott Kalechstein from www . scottsongs . com
Joined: 3/19/2009
Msg: 9
What do you mean by DRAMA
Posted: 8/14/2009 1:32:34 PM
Yeap OP, people are people, flawed ( sometimes terminally stupid ) creatures. No drama could mean alot of different things. If I posted something like that, hmmmm. Feck probally shouldve thought a lil more before posting.

mmmmmmmm ( still thinking ) mmmmmm...... ( more thinking )......

Would mean that I didnt want a woman, who's an emotional nutcase/ drama queen/ not been taking her medications az directed. And seems to take perverse pleasure, out of making sure that life haz the bare minimum of peace. Girlfriends, that U actually have strong feelings for. But still sometimes find yourself wanting to squeeze their neck, until their eyes bug out. Are emotionally draining and to be avoided.

edit: Takez hiz hat off to Ideoform, quite a post girl. Are your fingers bleeding from all that typing, I know my eyeballs are, from da reading ? :D Kidding, for real thought it a good post.
Joined: 7/9/2009
Msg: 10
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What do you mean by DRAMA
Posted: 8/14/2009 1:34:37 PM
No drama = NO mental problems and no past due bills. That is it in the nut shell. Guys especially at our age will no tolerate BS. I am sure you expect the same with guys.
Joined: 10/11/2008
Msg: 11
What do you mean by DRAMA
Posted: 8/14/2009 1:37:14 PM
Drama = Dating or relationships. I agree with most of the things the other guys said. All your problems are not ours. I dont want to hear about whos sleeping with who at your work!
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