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 no_defects
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 2
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I scare men offPage 1 of 1    
Ever eat in that little diner along Rt. 11/15 in Cove?
 Write Time
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 3
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I scare men off
Posted: 8/15/2009 6:41:10 AM
Openness and honesty are great. But I find that some people who declare themselves as such *really* mean "I have a license to say anything I want, and I needn't be considerate of anyone else's opinions or feelings."

That's not intimidating. It's just a turnoff.

Honesty and consideration shouldn't be mutually exclusive.
 2fuzy
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 5
I scare men off
Posted: 8/15/2009 7:11:57 AM
I like folks men or women that speak there mind as having to fish out an opinion is a pain
but some take it past that to abrasive and ****in and don't know it or it is an act not to look weak and they have to have a strong opinion about everything even stuff they know nothing about

I for one have never met a woman that "intimidates" me but I have met more than one whos BS I just don't want to put up with
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 9
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I scare men off
Posted: 8/15/2009 8:00:24 AM
Being honest doesn't mean verbalizing every thought that comes into your head. I doubt you really do that, otherwise I can't imagine you keeping a job or having any social interaction.

Maybe you haven't realized that most people aren't interested in every single thought that enters your head, that isn't a sign of a strong personality at all, rather a sign of a person that's seriously lacking in rudimentary socialization skills. Personally I'd find such a person boring, selfish and immature.

People develop filters out of consideration for the other people in their environment, as to what's appropriate and learn to use tact and discretion. You can be honest and forthright without offending someone, you can speak your mind without driving other people away. It's possible but it has to be developed and learned. I think one of the most powerful aspects of the Golden Rule is that it makes someone think about the other person FIRST and then consider their own actions/words.
 Perigee123
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 14
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I scare men off
Posted: 8/15/2009 10:36:05 PM
"Her head hit the roof-tree of the house,
Her middle you could not span,
Her teeth were like the tether stakes,
Her nose like club or mell,
And nothing less she seemed to be
Than a fiend that comes from hell."

THAT would "scare me off."

People choose interesting words, OP, and you aren't the only one who may choose to the term on here. But it is inaccurate. And "Intimidating" is no better. Both words make the same semantic inference - that you have the greater power, and they have the lesser.

If it's a bad word choice, it's a bad word choice; if it's the way you actually ~feel~, then there's your problem right there. Lucy Van Pelt would wonder why she 'scares men off' or 'intimidates them,' when really she is so innately self-superior nobody would want to subject themselves to her for pleasure. And, naturally, in her mind she is not at fault - so all the men must be 'scared off' or 'intimidated' by her.

I am not saying this is you; but I would look honestly at why you chose the words you did. It may hold a key for you.
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