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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > If he didn't like it, would you want him to eat it anyway?      Home login  
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 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 3
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If he didn't like it, would you want him to eat it anyway?Page 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Tim sounds like you are in a pickle...

Since she took hours and hours to fix said meal, it would be disappointing that you didn't like what she went to the effort and trouble to fix... Did the two of you discuss a menu when she decided to fix you a meal???

I would suggest not saying you don't like her cooking, because that truly would be a kick in the groin, and probably be the last meal she ventures to fix you, and probably be the last date as well... Guess it depends on who well you like this gal, depends on how HONEST or NOT you are...

It seems that you may want to be COOL, and tell her that the dish she fixed is not something you have enjoyed, but she has a real way with it...

Later if things progress, then you may be honest that you just don't like that dish... It is less hurtful later on, then to be blunt about these things...
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 4
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If he didn't like it, would you want him to eat it anyway?
Posted: 8/17/2009 9:57:54 PM
I guess my face doesn't hide what my taste buds like and dislike too well. When it's happened that I really don't enjoy a meal the woman has noticed and has invariably been gracious. We'll grab something else or head out to a restaurant.

As side note: I don't think the first time you cook for someone is when you should serve up your most, "exotic," dish.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 8
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If he didn't like it, would you want him to eat it anyway?
Posted: 8/17/2009 10:15:44 PM
I wouldn't expect a man to eat anything he didn't want to, I'm sure not going to. How hard is it to be honest about not liking something? I mean if you can't be honest about the taste of food, how are you ever going to communicate about important things?
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 9
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If he didn't like it, would you want him to eat it anyway?
Posted: 8/17/2009 10:17:07 PM
Oh my Timothy Paul, reminds me of the first time I had my sweetie over for dinner AND to meet my teenaged daughter.

I had warned him she would be quiet and awkward and just to leave her be... she'd eventually warm up and start talking after she'd hung back and observed him for a while.

>>> She yakked his ear off all through dinner and zinged him right, left and centre. He swore I'd set him up!!! She lept to my defense "no, I'm normally quiet and awkward with new people" But he flat out refused to believe it.

I cooked something I had cooked a zillion times before that was normally quite delicious, and had told him it was one of my fav dinners. Oh geez...

>>> I was so nervous and distracted by his presence that everything came out overcooked or undercooked and I had the timing all messed up. ugh. Again my daughter lept to my defense, saying it was normally good, that I could actually cook a little. Thanks for the back up kid, talk about damning with faint praise, lol. He swore we were lying about the whole thing! I said it was his fault for distracting me. He said "sure, blame it on the new guy" I said, "c'mon, you read the forums, you know it is always the guy's fault"

WE HAD A HOOT Timothy Paul. That's the only thing to do in these situations... have fun with it.

BTW, can't remember who ate what or what was thrown out... didn't matter either way.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 10
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If he didn't like it, would you want him to eat it anyway?
Posted: 8/17/2009 10:25:25 PM
Oh my gosh so sorry Timothy...

I think it depends on the person... I dated someone that always ate before eating at someones house; I personally found it completely odd and in fact disingenuous to his host.

If I had been lead to believe that the guy like a certain dish, and then didn't, I may be disappointed, BUT that is not to say annoyed or angry... Disappointed in the sense that I fixed something that the guy I was interested in didn't like it...

However some people get bent about things, and are less than forgiving about someone not being thrilled the person didn't LOVE their cooking...
 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 12
If he didn't like it, would you want him to eat it anyway?
Posted: 8/17/2009 10:44:39 PM
Hi Timothy,
I take a lot of pride in my cooking ability, but I've had a couple of blunders with the grill before, it being new and me not used to it yet. I've also found out that there are certain dishes that my boyfriend just does not care for, so I don't fix them. I always discuss the menu before I begin preparing anything, because I have food allergies, and you never know who can't eat what.
But I tell you, I made brats for my beloved a few months ago...for some reason he had never tried them before. I cooked them on the grill, and it fired up just about the time I was ready to get them off the flame, and they were a little charred.
I didn't mind the flavor, I actually enjoyed it for the most part, and cut the ends off. But you know, even though I kept tellin him to cut off the charred part, he refused and ate every bit...I don't know whether it was because he didn't want to insult me or if he really was digging the flavor, but I know that I love him for the effort!
We've had bratwurst several times since, and I haven't had any trouble with cooking it properly, and he always eats until he's ready to pop. God love him, he wouldn't hurt my feelings to save his life.
But he could have spit it across the room, and I would have just laughed! And gone and fixed him something else!
Beth
 heartseekertrue
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 14
Like what ya eat...so eat what ya like.
Posted: 8/18/2009 3:37:32 AM
Timothy
As one who cooks often (and usually well) I've learned to cook well
ONLY because I forced myself to eat my own mistakes!
A friend will help me recognize my mistake...
one who is afarid to "handle the truth" well and tell me....might not truly "be my friend"

Quietly eating someone elses mistakes does not help.
If it were truly "bad" as in unsafe/unpalatable...I'd surely ask, tactfully...and not eat.
If it were merely overcooked/salted/etc, I'd probably eat (admittedly slowly, and less),
and mention how I like that meal (less salted, medium rare...etc)

Can i "handle the truth"
in a way which is mutually beneficial?

bon apetit!
TIMO (NOT timothy LOL)
 heartseekertrue
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 15
If you didn't like it, would you let him eat it anyway?
Posted: 8/18/2009 4:02:34 AM

{clicks thread title cautiously.... .... reads post with trepidation...}
oh! he's talking about food. :::sigh:::


Quite the cunning linguist, that TIMOTHY!
...and you, motown, have ample tact!
Pizza it is, then!
 jojoaus
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 16
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If you didn't like it, would you let him eat it anyway?
Posted: 8/18/2009 5:07:22 AM
Gourmetchef- the Q was not about being a great chef. Mebbe you'd be happier sleeping with a man??? Yeah I'm kidding (mostly!). The question is- would you eat something prepared with love even if you didn't like it? My at the time 14 year old, veggo since birth, ate a meat lasagne prepared by an Italian host BECAUSE it came from the heart. She hated it as an unfamiliar taste and a dislike of eating flesh but she scraped her plate clean. As did I. So... yep. No question.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 17
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If he didn't like it, would you want him to eat it anyway?
Posted: 8/18/2009 5:40:14 AM
As many other posters have already said - I'd definitely ask before starting to cook. And hopefully I would know at least some of the foods that people don't like at all. It doesn't matter if the finest chef in the world prepares liver - I hate it. Blech!

I think if someone offers something you don't like, if you want to be honest (so they don't start serving it to you once a week)...I'd say something like "the XXXXX isn't really my favorite thing, but I can see that someone who likes it would think you prepared it excellently".
 Vincent_1984
Joined: 11/14/2005
Msg: 19
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If he didn't like it, would you want him to eat it anyway?
Posted: 8/18/2009 7:03:05 AM
This wouldn't be a problem for me, I will literally eat anything that's in front of me.
 forte42133
Joined: 10/26/2008
Msg: 22
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If he didn't like it, would you want him to eat it anyway?
Posted: 8/18/2009 8:36:13 AM
Well, I would tell her! I'd let her know that I really appreciated it, but I did not like it (if it was something I absolutely could not tolerate, which is rare). Since she set up the mood, I would order something, have an excellent candle-lit dinner, and give her a dessert she would not soon forget!
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 23
If he didn't like it, would you want him to eat it anyway?
Posted: 8/18/2009 9:06:14 AM
'Mothy:

I have been in this situation.
I said "Thank you for making a wonderful dinner for us". Even though it tasted icky, it still was wonderful that he put so much effort into it. I ate it, anyway, without comment on it's deliciousness or ickiness (I rarely lie). If it had been something that would kill me, I would not have eaten it, but it's all food, yes?

HE, for his part, was gracious enough not to ask, "Don't you like it?" That puts your guest on the spot, and so I consider it rude.

I do not believe you should EVER say "That was great" when it wasn't. If someone is stupid enough to say, "Why didn't you eat more?" you should go ahead and say something along the lines of "Well, smoked shrimp balls isn't really my cup of tea."

Oh, ha ha--I just thought of some other instance:
When I was in Brussels, my sister's friend, from Spain, wanted to make a special dinner for us. She made "calimari en su tinta"--squid over rice, covered with its black ink! It wasn't tasty at all, and looked really weird to my American eye. What we all said was, "Thank you so much for the wonderful experience." Because it was--I loved it for the experience, not the taste.
=========

<div class='quote'>IMO All your best chefs are men.
A man would have to think that, eh? How could you possibly go through life knowing that perhaps you are not the best? Rachael Ray, huh? Can you actuially NAME an actual chef? CHEF RAMSEY! TOM COLECCHIO! BOBBY FLAY! Yay TV CHEFS!

I love Ego. *sarks*
 Sabrosura
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 24
If he didn't like it, would you want him to eat it anyway?
Posted: 8/18/2009 9:10:37 AM
OP: If the dish is really bad tasting (didn't come out the way it should), I would not want him to eat it, as I probably wouldn't like it either.

I wouldn't take it personally. I think most of us who have tried to dabble with a new dish or not a "chef" have encountered this.

Grab a take-out menu or go out and eat is what I would do!
 varinia
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 25
If he didn't like it, would you want him to eat it anyway?
Posted: 8/18/2009 9:12:01 AM
If you knew, would you expect him to eat it any way?


I have a tendency to put myself in the other person's positions and take their potential feelings into consideration.

So, I would serve up a meal and with a smile point out the Pizza delivery menu that we can use as backup. That way he won't be under so much pressure and knows that it won't be the end of the world for me, if he doesn't like my cooking.

I would really hate finding out that someone felt like they had to pretend to like my food, if they didn't. This makes it easy for him and we can joke about it, if it comes to that.

While I would be disappointed that he may not have liked it, he can so make up for it by letting me know how much he appreciated the effort I may have gone through preparing it. Because in the end I don't normally do it for the food, but because I want to do something nice for someone else. So, if he can acknowledge that, then I'm perfectly happy.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 29
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If he didn't like it, would you want him to eat it anyway?
Posted: 8/18/2009 10:23:10 AM
If I invited a man for a dinner in my house, I would ask him his favorite food/cuisine/food dislikes/allergics/ & likes. Then that is what I am going to cook.
That is just a simple social ethics..

If you knew ,would you expect him to eat any way? Would you be upset and disappointed if he didn't .


No I will never force him to eat, he might be allergic to the food, that will make him sick/ or the taste is not to his liking. I will immediately prepare food to his liking , but I hope he doesn't make a big deal of that inconvenience to his hostess, he can eat salad, bread, dessert,side dish...

His parents force him to eat what ever they prepared when he was growing up, and that was stop when he become 8 years old.
 mcwr
Joined: 3/24/2009
Msg: 31
If he didn't like it, would you want him to eat it anyway?
Posted: 8/18/2009 10:49:22 AM
It seems strange that she wouldn't ask you about what YOU like to eat. In my experience, if a woman wants to impress me, she will ask me about what I like, and then cook it for me.
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 32
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If he didn't like it, would you want him to eat it anyway?
Posted: 8/18/2009 11:04:26 AM
If I am cooking for them, you bet I'm going to find out their likes and dislikes, allergies and food restrictions.
I've cooked for diabetics, and vegetarians. When I am dating either, I stock up on their choice of food. Soy burgers, soy chicken, or diet butter, and have actually counted carbs in my dishes cooked for them.
But my old stand by dinner, fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, biscuits, my baked mac and cheese, and green beans always gets cleaned up. oh, and a pineapple upside down cake. Actually I shouldnt cook it, cause they wind up eating so much, they get sleepy and want to take a nap. Kind of like Thanksgiving. It was my mother's Wednesday night dinner, and my Grandmother's Sunday dinner.

If he didnt like what I have cooked, I have plenty of quick to cook things in the freezer or cabinet, that would still feed him.
 mcwr
Joined: 3/24/2009
Msg: 33
If he didn't like it, would you want him to eat it anyway?
Posted: 8/18/2009 11:31:10 AM
I slowly made my way over to his end of the table while giving him the "look of death."


I'm familiar with that look. I am always prepared to use defensive Jujitsu. LOL.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 34
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If he didn't like it, would you want him to eat it anyway?
Posted: 8/18/2009 11:39:22 AM
Miss congeniality err,,,, contemplated, I am impressed on your input to the OP's thread,what can I say ???


"I Like Your Style Baby"


Vannili
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 35
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If he didn't like it, would you want him to eat it anyway?
Posted: 8/18/2009 12:28:07 PM
I am a confident cook and know that not everyone has the same appetites. I wouldn't take it personal if someone didn't like my cooking. I would probably be disappointed, but wouldn't make a big deal over it.

I usually get to know someone really well before I cook for them anyway, so that I know their appetite. I would have already noticed if they like spicy foods, veggie person, meat and potato person etc... So I probably would not have this problem and would have picked a general meal that would suit any appetite.

If the shoe were on the other foot and someone cooked for me...The situation would probably be okay because I'm not that picky and finicky of an eater. I would probably get enough bites down that they would not notice that I did not like it. Then after the meal was over and the next day I would probably hint at doing another dish next time to spare their feelings...I would not have wanted to see them so dissappointed that evening so we could enjoy the rest of the evening...

P.S. I must admit that we all handle things differently and "MISS CONTEMPLATIVE" made a EXCELLENT point about the "swallowing" issue that just can't hardly be argued against....

P.S.S. And every good lady knows that the best recipes are stored for those fellows that offer to mend the fence etc...
 Worbug
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 38
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If he didn't like it, would you want him to eat it anyway?
Posted: 8/18/2009 12:35:07 PM
It's always nice when someone goes out of their way to do something nice for, but I have always enjoyed making the meal together, I feel it is a little more intimant, you learn a little more about the other person. With that being the case, the menu has usually been predetermined.

I was a picky eater growing up, the Marine Corps changed that real quick (LOL) but have since started trying just bout everything at least once. I have never ate anything that I did not care for. If the main dish was not appealing, I would probab;y eat more of the side dishes. If they seem to want to push their "Signature" dish on me, I will try it, If I don't care, I will just say that its just something I don't care for. and not make it sound like it was because of the way they prepared the dish, I will then go on to compliment the other dishes prepared that I did enjoy.

I do have to say that some of the best meals in the past was when we had no preparation and just went into the kitchen and tore into the cabinets and come up with something, experiment together an then eat and decide. It was the whole event together, enjoying each others company, the food was actually secondary. Great time.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 40
If he didn't like it, would you want him to eat it anyway?
Posted: 8/18/2009 1:09:49 PM
I am a very good cook myself, so even before I got there, I would have to challenge her as to what she would cook and how good it may be. Then you would have to give credit where credit is doe. Let's say she is a horrible cook and she knows it. You tell her. "Good try. I know this is not your specialty so you deserve points for trying."

Now, let's say she is a good cook and the plate is so weird that you do not know whether to like it or hate it. YOU TELL HER. "Wow, I've never had anything like this, it's an acquired taste and I am not quite there."

The part that gets really fishy is what happened to me about a month ago. My then gf and I are at a friends house and his girlfriend made her famous Ribs. In my mind they were absolutely mediocre. So telling them that they were horrible would not achieve anything. So I ate some. And thank them for such awesome effort. End of story.
 Commonsens
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 41
If he didn't like it, would you want him to eat it anyway?
Posted: 8/18/2009 1:52:36 PM
Op your example and choices suggest a complete lack of tact, manners and basic politeness from both parties.

- If I cook for someone, I inquire first about her taste and allergies before selecting what I will prepare.
- If I am invited to someone place, I will eat politely and thank the host for her efforts and attention; no matter what.


If you do not have manners and savoir vivre: : stay in your cave and order some more Mc Donalds,
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 43
If he didn't like it, would you want him to eat it anyway?
Posted: 8/18/2009 2:03:30 PM

Amelia Wrote: Wow, I thought this thread title meant something totally different...

I think a few of us did Amelia. And we were all prepared for some really juicy thread.

On real topic: So whatever happened to Honesty is the Best Policy?
This reminds me of the "Idol" shows. Not that I watch that show...
At the end of an act where the singer really bombs and they reveal that all of their friends and relatives told them they were very good.

There are too many food allergies, foodobias and food quirks for people to get upset about someone not liking something. I cook a lot and I wouldn't mind if someone didn't like what I made. Then again, I would know what they liked before I made them dinner. I would think it would be the same if someone else made me dinner.
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