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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > 3 days... worth starting something?      Home login  
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 3
3 days... worth starting something?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
OP: Life is too damn short - enjoy what you have in front of you, and let the rest play out. Not sure how far you two are from one another, but there are ways to keep the friendship alive (communication-wise) if nothing else.

Joined: 8/11/2009
Msg: 9
3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/19/2009 1:51:56 PM
OP... It sounds like you have little as you say or no experience? No one here can make up your moral mind. Some are older and give you their advise based on their life and most guys just think hey its sex, go do him and you'll be happy.

You have to live with your decision and don't judge your self as being bad or good. If you kiss him and whisper to him you think you'd like to go further but are not experienced he should take the initiative to be gentle and understanding with you. If not then thank god for not letting you go through with it.

In any case it would be hard for a young woman like yourself to go two years in a new place without some guy putting a twinkle in your eye. Unless your going to a womans prison then you better get it while you can.

So go with what your morales tell you and not some guy that has none. Some people can go from one bed to another without another thought. Can you?

Just my 2 cents.
 Gangster Kitten
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 10
3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/19/2009 2:04:22 PM
It all comes down to

"Do I want to have sex with him?"

I don't know if you want to. Do you? If so, then why not?
Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 11
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3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/19/2009 2:06:34 PM
Idk I'd go for it BUT idk what does everybody mean by life's too short....what is it that you do that's longer than life?

P.S. like the 2nd poster said,"You'll never see each other again" idc (I don't care) if you see him two or even three months later the person that you say good bye to will be lost to you forever as the person he says good bye to. you two SHOULD be growing exponentially each and every day so to pontificate in the here in now is just another lesson in futility in its most simple form....

Good Luck
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 15
3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/19/2009 2:47:29 PM
friends are everywhere. but friends you can hump, now that's kinda rare. if you lose a friendship, make a new one. easy as that. so just hump his brains out and make friends with your mailman. it's all good
Joined: 8/11/2009
Msg: 16
3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/20/2009 1:00:16 AM
OP... If the morality isn't an issue then I see no problem. As you can see everyone here is saying trying to keep in touch is good intentions but after just a month or so of being in touch won't make it a couple years long distance relationship.

But you dig the guy and haven't much time. Don't waste it here. Go experiment with him and enjoy yourself. If you are comfortable with him don't be afraid to do what you need to do to get off. He'll like it better then if you were just there and tried to cover yourself.
Joined: 12/31/2006
Msg: 18
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3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/20/2009 5:04:03 AM

It's about experience and sexual ability and attraction, that's all. I have reason to believe that in my past guys have thought I wasn't that into them, when actually I was just inexperienced and awkward in bed.

I just think guys these days tend to have certain standards for female performance in bed.

If you're so worried about being inexperienced, there's only one way to fix that, and that's to get some experience. Have your little fling, if something more comes in the future then good for you, if not then at least you had a fun fling for 3 days.
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 20
3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/20/2009 6:20:47 AM
Actually, BOTH options have something to be said for them.

Trust me, he won't remember you as "sucking in bed". Except in a good way.

But, either way, you'll have a little memory that makes you smile...either at the fun and passion, or at the "might have been."

For myself, I'd say "go for it"....
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 21
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3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/20/2009 7:05:07 AM
why cant people just go with the flow?? Why must they always over think EVERYTHING??

You are leaving in a few days! So make the most of the time you have together. If something happens then so be it. If it doesnt, then that is ok too.
The reality is....YOU ARE LEAVING! you probably wont see him again. SO..

Do you want to be intimate with him knowing it is a one time thing?
Or do you want to enjoy time together, laugh and play and just live for each moment till it is time for you to go?

Both things have their pros and cons! What will you be able to handle better?

If you are intimate with him and then you go home, will you be able to stay in contact Facebook, where you will be seeing his life move on without you? See him have other women in his life. Will you be able to be happy for him when this happens?
Or you can have fun now and stay in contact somehow until it fizzels out.

Face it! This guy is not going to wait for you if you live far away.

best wishes which ever you decide to do
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 22
3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/20/2009 8:59:03 AM
ok, lemme clear this up - you're thinking about it too much -

It's not so much a generational thing, it that as you gain more experience you realize what is important and what is not.

The older guys know better - that's why we seem totally unconcerned with it.

Now, given that - here's the simple rule with sex - do what you're comfortable with, and you enjoy. Feel free to experiment. The only way you get it wrong is when you're not enjoying it.

Long term, yes, if you're a very vanilla type person and he's not, he may get bored with sex.

That's not what we're talking about here - he digs you, you obviously dig him (to the point that you're worried about leaving a bad impression) - enjoy your time fully.

Sex hasn't changed, trust me.

He isn't going to be rating your performance - he's going to be tickled shitless that he's having sex with you! Don't worry about your performance, you'll be fine!
Joined: 8/18/2009
Msg: 29
3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/27/2009 3:40:09 PM

And then again, I don't know if it's possible for me to both feel VERY physically attracted to someone AND VERY comfortable around someone. I'm afraid those tendencies for me work against each other.

I agree at the very start that's normal to have one outweigh the other. It improves over time (both physical and emotional). In my experience it's kinda rare the physical attraction improves...I hear it's alot more common in women's perception of men though)

I also wonder whether in most dating situations or relationships its usual for one person to be more physically attracted to the other than vice versa?

I bet the vast majority of relationships are like this. And the ones that are actually 100% both madly attracted with the same intensity, well they are the luckiest. We all hope it happens to us. Nothing abnormal about your situation at all.

And is it usual to feel really intimidated by guys you find really attractive?

happens all the time, wether we admit it to ourslves or not, intense attraction to someone makes us intimidated in a certain way. it's not weakness though.

And to find feeling really comfortable around someone to be less sexy?

yeah, unfortunately. it depends on what you want out of the relationship. alot of people need that intense physical attraction and sexiness to be present. but others can definitely be ok with comfort and ease of things.

On the other hand, I've heard the whole logic of how after a few months intense physical attraction for anyone dissipates a bit, and that the best longterm relationships occur between people who are really comfortable together

I wouldnt wanna go into a relationship thinking that way...but yeah it does happen. it probably shouldn't though. i personally do not want to be in a relationship with no physical attraction, no matter the comfort level. but everyone's different.
Joined: 8/19/2009
Msg: 30
3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/27/2009 8:14:32 PM
It does...I've had bad blowjobs before. Well, one. I think you're thinking too much about it. I realize I'm responding way late...but when it's right its right. I think there's much more going on here besides sex. Relax...within five'll know what it is...
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