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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Men / Women evidence of AST, prizing, effectiveness.      Home login  
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 prittygurl2006
Joined: 9/17/2006
Msg: 2
Men / Women evidence of AST, prizing, effectiveness.Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
too many people are playing games. This is why dating sucks so much. Just stop the games and be yourself. It's sickening really.
 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 5
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Men / Women evidence of AST, prizing, effectiveness.
Posted: 8/20/2009 12:20:05 PM
You've described 'head games' which you've participated and perpetrated....call it what you like but it is, what it is.

This is very manipulative.

If some people would just put as much honest effort into their relationships, as they do
trying to make someone into something else, and trying to manipulate an outcome to their advantage,
then there wouldn't be so many dazed and confused people aimlessly wandering about.
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 6
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Men / Women evidence of AST, prizing, effectiveness.
Posted: 8/20/2009 12:20:50 PM
When I read these types of threads and the responses from men that use them, it actually sickens me. Is getting your****wet that important to you that you have to deliberately set out to lie to someone. Is it that important that you need to become someone so decietful? How the hell do you actually justify this behaviour to yourself? For every man out there that says men arent pigs, they arent only looking for sex. There is some dirt bag out there using these types of techniques to get into some womans pants using these techniques and actually justifying their behaviour by saying that women can get sex anytime so men have to "work" harder to get it. All I know is that there seem to be a whole lo of screwed up guys out there when it comes to sex and their morals....
 justcuzwhatever
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 7
Men / Women evidence of AST, prizing, effectiveness.
Posted: 8/20/2009 12:26:58 PM

Ok, yes I know this will initiate a heated discussion, if you want to label it as a sophisticated troll, then fair enough, but in all equality do we not all learn from this?


What we learn from this is that you are willing to manipulate others to get what you want.

This method will work much less well for you on POF once this thread shows up on the bottom of your profile page... and you have enough thread posts that it should happen any moment now.

Cheers!
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 11
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Men / Women evidence of AST, prizing, effectiveness.
Posted: 8/20/2009 1:05:03 PM
Ya either got it or ya don't! Plain and simple - if you are a positive and happy person you will attract many people towards you - stop trying to be anything but what is inside us all!
 Ependa
Joined: 7/16/2009
Msg: 12
Men / Women evidence of AST, prizing, effectiveness.
Posted: 8/20/2009 1:21:23 PM
I'd call BULLSHIT on the games and find a real man
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 13
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Men / Women evidence of AST, prizing, effectiveness.
Posted: 8/20/2009 1:43:05 PM

Cheating to me is defined as using any means, that are based in lies,omission,deception or betryal to get what you want, that you haven't yet RIGHTFULLY earned


While I generally agree with this statement, where does that leave women who have breast enhancements or tummy tucks, etc.? Those are certainly deceptive!

Besides, the behavior described is often used unconsciously but successfully, and won't have any effect on someone who isn't at least somewhat interested. There's no point either when someone is clearly interested. It only seems to work in ambiguous situations and merely results in a somewhat extended opportunity to make a decision for both. Anyway, you could also make the case that using your intellect and psychologically informed relationship skills IS a way to rightfully earn a chance to develop a relationship.
 slybandit
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 14
Men / Women evidence of AST, prizing, effectiveness.
Posted: 8/20/2009 3:13:20 PM
Grizzelda states:

"Is getting your****wet that important to you that you have to deliberately set out to lie to someone. Is it that important that you need to become someone so decietful?"

Apparently.

Hey, has anyone else noticed that the OP's "I'm such a Bad Boy" act is working?
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 15
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Men / Women evidence of AST, prizing, effectiveness.
Posted: 8/20/2009 3:20:55 PM
There's a great old movie from England, called "School for Scoundrels." I'm not talking about the remake, that's second rate, and doesn't follow the original basis for the first movie, which was a real study by a real sociologist. The movie described techniques such as this as 'ploys,' to be used by what are now commonly called 'players', to allow them to use women for fun without the danger of long-term commitment.
The stuff the OP described have new lingo attached, but are tricks as old as dating.
As for the folks deriding the OP, I sympathize with your feelings since I am seeking a long term REAL relationship myself, HOWEVER... this guy is pretty honest. Even in his profile, he describes himself as just here for fun. Since this post will be forever linked to his profile, any woman who wants to read it will have a heads up.
Since there are plenty of women here just looking for a good time, it's fine with me if he and they get together and ploy each other every single night.
 Sherlock101
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 17
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Men / Women evidence of AST, prizing, effectiveness.
Posted: 8/20/2009 4:42:45 PM
I think the OP has a great point but I think it's a more age appropriate kind of thing. When I was in my early 20s I was that extra special nice guy every women says she wants. :P
I got my heart knocked in the dirt more than once till I decided to change. I was one of those who refused to play games but soon realized everyone was playing them. So I started treating women different. It was absolutely the greatest choice I had ever made in this area. I use to have guy friends ask me how I do it and then they would ask, do you treat women bad? I said, no I never treat women bad. I just stopped being a too nice, said no to things more often then yes etc...
There many of the techniques the original OP spoke of that were part of this.
Girls would ask me to dance I would say no I don't dance. Then I got the totally confused look and they would say, no ones ever turned me down. Next thing I know we are having a great conversation. I've had girls ask me to buy them a drink and I would say no why don't you buy me one. Surprisingly they most often did.
In my opinion the older we get the less games we play on average and thankful for this...
 NotTheAverageChick
Joined: 7/9/2006
Msg: 18
Men / Women evidence of AST, prizing, effectiveness.
Posted: 8/20/2009 8:01:55 PM
Well, at least the OP's misogyny is right there in our faces....and so similar to the Gym Shooter from the last few weeks. These men are sooooo angry that they can't get the 'Top 10" women they WANT (19, 99 lbs, 44DDD, blonde virgins open to anal sex) that they listen to idiot radio shows on how to 'bag' chicks, buy the books on how to stalk and go to the seminars to learn these hateful techniques. Never spend a moment on self-reflection, self-improvement or just trying to get enlightened as a human. Then, when none of that works for them, explode! This is so pathological there should be a word for this kind of mental disorder.

And, men need to stop their pity-party about being 'nice guys'....You were just a guy who couldn't read obvious signals, set your sights on women who wanted nothing to do with you but didn't want to hurt your feelings, then you tried to win them over by being a pest, or hanging around doing things for them UNSOLICITED. When the woman finally got tired of you, she put her foot down and told you to leave in no uncertain terms. Next time, look for small reciprocations as evidence your 'nice guy-ness' is working - if you don't get it, move on!

It is just the law of averages that sooner or later, your interest will land on someone who returns your interest. In the meantime, read a freaking book, pray or meditate, voluteer somewhere and try to concentrate on something OTHER THAN getting some.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 22
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Men / Women evidence of AST, prizing, effectiveness.
Posted: 8/21/2009 10:00:27 AM
Almost everyone uses whatever assets, tricks, and techniques available to them to attract or gain what they want.

The real question, I think, is whether you are acting ethically or unethically. Using the AST method can be either. It depends on intention, really. A man can tell a woman he loves her and by doing so may hope to get her into bed. It could be the absolute truth, and he may intend and hope for a lasting relationship with her, in which case saying he loves her is ethical, and she has the choice to respond as she wishes. If he says this even if he has no real feelings for her, it is unethical, and while she can respond as she chooses, she is basing her decision on false information. Both examples can be considered somewhat manipulative, but one is with good mutual intentions, and the other is solely for selfish ends.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 24
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Men / Women evidence of AST, prizing, effectiveness.
Posted: 8/21/2009 11:09:25 AM
Sounds manipulative.

There's nothing wrong with smiling, being playful, etc. And nothing wrong with making sure you don't overdo it so you don't kill any attraction that may be created. But that level of intentionally drawing someone in and pushing them away sounds just plain manipulative.
 Knight_00
Joined: 7/29/2008
Msg: 25
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Men / Women evidence of AST, prizing, effectiveness.
Posted: 8/21/2009 11:20:56 AM
In my experience women have been doing this since the dawn of time. Only they call it being "coy". Some call it being a "tease". It's the same sandwich in a different wrapper.

So for all of those who say "bullshit!" or "I can't imagine finding a partner this way", think again. Ever make eye contact in a bar, with someone interesting and then look away so that they don't know that you're looking at them - but you really do let them know, you're just pretending to look away? Isn't that, functionally, the same thing?

Girls feign not being interested all of the time. Courtship, methinks.
 Sherlock101
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 26
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Men / Women evidence of AST, prizing, effectiveness.
Posted: 8/21/2009 5:50:45 PM
OP, great second post and I have to laugh at some of the women posters with what they wrote and thankful for the few that had a intelligent response.
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