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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > 37 and still single? Why won't a woman date me?      Home login  
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 privat33r
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 2
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37 and still single? Why won't a woman date me?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Almost everyone I meet thinks I have some sort of dyslexia or Adult ADD, but i'm making sure their plane doesn't do something wacky on the way to Europe. Remove everything about dyslexia from your profile, 76.44% of the people you'll meet have more serious difficulties.

93.28% of the people in the world who have, or have had that difficulty don't even know the term exists.
 chandlers wish
Joined: 6/22/2008
Msg: 6
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37 and still single? Why won't a woman date me?
Posted: 8/20/2009 6:05:45 PM

I see myself with a younger woman one day
''

There may be your problem... You aren't looking at the lady for who she is, rather you have a "wish list".........
 missdi123
Joined: 3/19/2008
Msg: 7
37 and still single? Why won't a woman date me?
Posted: 8/20/2009 6:19:25 PM
Well, maybe you should put up more pictures? Here is the thing, you are 5'5, that's just not working for a lot of girls. As occupation you list man of leisure? What is that supposed to mean? It comes across that you are lazy and don't want to work or can't find a decent job. Do you live with your parents? I think you are:)
 privat33r
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 9
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37 and still single? Why won't a woman date me?
Posted: 8/20/2009 6:29:12 PM
okay.. remove all your restrictions. That's just work for girls to look over.

Listen to the advise of the girls who are commenting. They're black zen masters.

Stop arguing about why you should date younger women. That's the opposite of how to date younger women.

Your pics are fairly decent, get more, get them outdoors. -- by the way-- remove the dyslexia references. Don't mention it. There's no purpose to it. You're not hiding something, anyone who meets you will evaluate the whole picture, you're not selling lemonade in a kindergarten.
 TwinkiMilton
Joined: 4/1/2009
Msg: 11
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37 and still single? Why won't a woman date me?
Posted: 8/20/2009 6:48:25 PM
Technicaly its possible at 37 to be the father of that 21 year old! And that is just CREEPY!

 missdi123
Joined: 3/19/2008
Msg: 14
37 and still single? Why won't a woman date me?
Posted: 8/20/2009 7:13:31 PM
I didn't respond to your post because I wanted to trash talk you. I know how the economy is. I am very thankful to have a job. I was just stating facts. Let's be realistic, there aren't a lot of girls who want to date someone who is unemployed and who lives with his parents. That's just a fact.
 p~s
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 16
37 and still single? Why won't a woman date me?
Posted: 8/20/2009 7:49:18 PM
You're profile is good and you are a nice looking man OP so I don't know what to say, bad luck?
 p~s
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 17
37 and still single? Why won't a woman date me?
Posted: 8/20/2009 8:00:23 PM

There may be your problem... You aren't looking at the lady for who she is, rather you have a "wish list".........

This I have to agree with, looking for a woman who's 10 years younger or possibly more makes it seem you are looking for a woman based on superficial reasons. Also you don't want children and many younger women do.
Ummm.. and about being open to Bi women makes it seem like you are not really seriously looking for a relationship so much as someone to have a little kink with.
 Pitch Blease
Joined: 3/4/2009
Msg: 19
37 and still single? Why won't a woman date me?
Posted: 8/20/2009 8:14:35 PM
Oh wow, these people are being kind to you to say the least.

Time for some tough love. This is not picking on you, it's stating facts you put forth when you started this thread!

First, your pics aren't even current...they are all from last year or older. A couple look like you are in black face (read:offensive)

Next...You are 5'5" (short for a man), you are unemployed, live with your parents, have a learning disability...Did I miss anything? BUT YET you are seeking a much younger woman (bi sexual is okay with you have you even had sex???) and you are basing your friend's relationships on what YOU THINK you deserve. Time to wake up and smell the coffee. Why won't women date you??? You answered your own question! I don't care how nice a guy you say you are...It's a cruel hard world out there and tougher on a dating site. You got a lot going against you. Thems the breaks.

Hell I'm 40 and never been married (not that I ever want to be..it's my own choice) ...at least I know my faults and not trying to kid myself that I'm something I'm not.
 p~s
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 20
37 and still single? Why won't a woman date me?
Posted: 8/20/2009 8:33:24 PM
No woman wants to date a guy who is not able to take care of himself, he will likely end up our dependent rather than a partner. I know if you want to work you will, even if you are working at Tim Horton's for christ sake! Teenagers who make 10 bucks an hour live on their own and manage to be independent.
I understand that in some more traditional Hindu families the son is living at home because he is taking care of his parents in their old age and you are not even doing this.
I was being nice in my first post about it being bad luck, but then I actually read your profile.
Sorry dear but I think you need to collect yourself and make some personal changes before you even begin to consider a `partner`.
 missdi123
Joined: 3/19/2008
Msg: 21
37 and still single? Why won't a woman date me?
Posted: 8/20/2009 9:12:59 PM
Oh, for Pete's sake. Pay attention! I said I was NOT trying to trash talk you. OK, I am done. Good luck.
 chandlers wish
Joined: 6/22/2008
Msg: 22
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37 and still single? Why won't a woman date me?
Posted: 8/20/2009 9:26:06 PM

missdi123 (wrote)
<div class="quote">I didn't respond to your post because I wanted to trash talk you. I know how the economy is.

Wish there was a bold button here, because you got on the defense and need to apologise.. I can clearly read I DID NOT....

Anyways.

You are quite egotistical.. You have a wish list whether you want to admit it or not.

We can all do this but it will not get us anywhere in life. It's like putting things into boxes, with ticks and crosses.. You will run out of ticked boxes, they will all be crosses.

You've stated you "intend" to do the bi thing, she has to be 21 like your mates, or therebouts, and then go into 70'80's yet what music do you enjoy?

The Economy sucks. Your 37, if you love yourself as you state, that's meant to be the inner you.. Can you really love the inner you who blames Economy for the reason why your un-employed and living with your Mother...?

Your not stable financially, but your 37... You live with your Mum and it's time to realise that it's a big world out there and nothing, nothing is impossible...... and this will be the biggest turn off to any lady..... Because you are using an excuse. Go wash dishes to start with.


You seem to agree with things that make you "look" better, and disagree with everything else as far as suggestions go, with excuses but then change those too because heck, that may win you a date.

It's a tough life... Don't get to 40, it's only 3 years away and still not have work and live with your Mum... Get a job and show your stuff.. Then you will get dates..

Pictures and words are useless, if you can't see that you have nothing stable to provide a lady...

Don't take that the wrong way.. It's just facts. If I took your "poor me" approach over the Economy as a Realtor and business owner, I would have surely lost it all...
 guyd42
Joined: 10/13/2008
Msg: 23
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37 and still single? Why won't a woman date me?
Posted: 8/20/2009 10:14:07 PM
OP, just learn to like being by yourself. Dating at this age group is ridiculous. Do you really need to put yourself through all this foolishness? Don’t even ask yourself what’s wrong with you. There’s probably nothing just like there’s probably been nothing wrong with me since I joined this site 6 years ago. Dating at our age is just way too complicated.
 amusing_guy
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 24
37 and still single? Why won't a woman date me?
Posted: 8/21/2009 5:47:42 AM
Why would you expect any women to be interested in you when your unemployed and living at home? I understand times are tough but you have to be willing to make changes in your life in order to find good quality women.
 MePlusTwo
Joined: 7/9/2008
Msg: 25
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37 and still single? Why won't a woman date me?
Posted: 8/21/2009 6:12:54 AM
Virendra36, I would imagine the reason you are finding it hard to date is:
You are unemployed
You live at home
You are 5' 5"
You don't want children
You may have a mild form of Aspergers - actually, if this is the case, this is a major major thing when it comes to success at dating

Now, any one of the above could make it far more challenging to date. But you have a very long list of things that come under the heading of "I would prefer not to date a man who......"

I am sorry to sound harsh. But you asked and that is the answer. If you indeed have Aspergers, you are going to need some guidance and support around your social skills as they are probably an obstacle in getting a date.

Additionally, whilst you are unemployed and living at home, it's going to severely limit your dating pool.

AND you don't want children and are 'vertically challenged'?

Look, your dating pool is almost certainly going to remain non-existent until you start to work on those things that are within your control to change and manage.

Time to face reality. You're 37. What do you want for your life? If part of the answer is a partner, then it's time to make some changes. Because your chances of dating right now are slim to none. But much of that is within your control.
 mistnrain72
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 26
37 and still single? Why won't a woman date me?
Posted: 8/21/2009 6:16:27 AM

Why would you expect any women to be interested in you when your unemployed and living at home?

I hate to say it but that kind of quick-to-judge mentality, which is shared by vast multitudes of people (not just you), is precisely the reason we're all here on this site in the first place. People have more respect for the unconditional love of an animal than they do that of a human being... because with people, there's just always something that isn't quite good enough about them to warrant allowing them to love us.

The effort to conform to all the unspoken rules of what you're supposed to be in order to attract the opposite sex... is insanity waiting to happen for anyone who takes all that garbage too seriously. So what if the OP lives at home and doesn't have an income? Who cares? The woman who does end up with him, certainly will love him as he is and she won't give a rat's ass what anyone thinks of it.

Sigh... we are all very foolish creatures.
 MePlusTwo
Joined: 7/9/2008
Msg: 27
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37 and still single? Why won't a woman date me?
Posted: 8/21/2009 6:19:11 AM

OP, just learn to like being by yourself. Dating at this age group is ridiculous. Do you really need to put yourself through all this foolishness? Don’t even ask yourself what’s wrong with you. There’s probably nothing just like there’s probably been nothing wrong with me since I joined this site 6 years ago. Dating at our age is just way too complicated.
No actually, it's not. It's oh so convenient to blame everyone else for your lack of finding what you want, relationship wise.

But you are another in desperate need of a reality check. 6 years and no 'success' (for want of a better word)? You're kidding yourself if you think that's got nothing to do with you and how you function in the world.

*If it were me* I would have been looking within way before the 6 year mark if a relationship was something I wanted and had been unable to achieve.

But hey, going the "It's not me, it's them/dating at this age/dating is too complicated" route is another option. Tends to breed a lot of misdirected bitterness and anger, which you are already demonstrating. Are you really so happy being by yourself?
 Theonly1!
Joined: 5/1/2007
Msg: 28
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37 and still single? Why won't a woman date me?
Posted: 8/21/2009 8:02:26 AM
Every post he makes he complains how he's been here for 6 years and can't find a date... at least he's consistent!...

guyd42... you have a horrible profile if you're looking for dates... which you're not anymore because it's so "ridiculous"... your attitude is horrible and you're wondering why you aren't getting positive responses... oh wait, you aren't wondering because all the women are ridiculous and you're the one normal man who can't find what you want...

MePlusTwo... I was quite happy by myself, it's how I knew I was ready to not be by myself...
 guyd42
Joined: 10/13/2008
Msg: 29
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37 and still single? Why won't a woman date me?
Posted: 8/21/2009 8:55:37 AM
MePlusTwo, since you’re asking:

Am I happier by myself? Good question. I miss some aspects of a relationship on a daily basis. However, the constant arguing over little things that tick each others off since at our age group, we are all so set in our own ways, not mentioning the last 3 who I caught cheating and had to kiss 3 houses goodbye…. I now focus on my career, education and I travel the world! This is what people should do rather than whine because they can’t find a relationship. I had success on here in the past 6 years. I made a few friends for life. This is priceless. However, this place leads nowhere for most people looking for a committed relationship. The lucky ones are the exception, not the rule! Further more, this site is for adult entertainment only. If you understand this, this is a fun place to be. I was chatting with someone for over a month. We never met since she kept finding excuses. I got a message a few days back telling me that she was back with her ex. I laughed as I knew all along….. It’s cool. This is a game! And I’m playing willingly. I went trough this hundred of times since 2003. Will I have a relationship at some point? Not sure. One thing I know; NEVER with someone from here! In the real life? Depends if people make more sense with their expectations than here and I believe so. If not? To answer your question; YES, I’m happier alone and for the rest of my life if needed.

Theonly 1; READ my profile! I am NOT looking for a date! It says Looking for friendship (Friends Only!) This means NO relationship, NO date, NO sex, nothing more than friendship! Friends are all I want, but it’s very optional and I can well live without. Boy this is hard to understand. I keep telling this to those who message me trying to convince me to change my mind…. Also, I don’t get responses because I will NOT message anyone! I never do. I only answer to those who do message me. This is ALSO in my profile! Stupidity seems to be chronic on POF. I have been here for a longtime and am NOT complaining but telling what I think to those who complain. Again, this is a GAME! And I’m a willing participant! It’s all fun! Finally, don’t we have the right to disagree?
 Theonly1!
Joined: 5/1/2007
Msg: 30
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37 and still single? Why won't a woman date me?
Posted: 8/21/2009 9:24:44 AM
Yes... you might want to read what I said again...

You can live without friends?... That sounds like quite a fun existence! I'm not trying to change your mind, I'm telling people not to worry about your opinion because it sounds like a hurt dog response to the world.

And finding friends is much like dating and the same negative attitude will get you the same people...

Yes, I'm chronically stupid... terribly spoken and don't have a clue... but I guess that's my right as well then!
 BlackWidowNor
Joined: 7/6/2009
Msg: 31
37 and still single? Why won't a woman date me?
Posted: 8/21/2009 4:13:32 PM
You know...

I can date a guy who's five foot five (and have).

I can date a guy who lives with his mother (provided that he's not just using her for three hots and a cot).(and have)

I can date a guy who has dyslexia. (and have)

I can date a guy who has mild aspergers. (I have several friends who deal with this)

I can NOT date a guy who doesn't have a means of support. Blame the economy all you want - IF YOU WANT TO WORK THERE ARE JOBS OUT THERE. They might not be in your field, but so what? It's a JOB. Even working at McDonald's looks better than nothing at all - and it's PROVEN that if you're WORKING and job hunting, you look better to prospective employers because it shows them that you will work. I am working a job that is not in my field to make ends meet until I get a job that is in my field. You have to have the ambition to work in order to get out of the situation you're in financially. I made the mistake of dating someone who was not employed. I got very tired of the excuses he gave as to why he wasn't working. The relationship didn't last very long.

Now... all of this comes from reading the thread.

You want someone younger? You have to do something to make yourself more attractive to that crowd. Get a job and go to work. Cut those apron strings, even if you have to find room mates to go in on a place. Quit whining about not getting a date and work on yourself. You'd be amazed at what a bit of self esteem can do to a dating situation.

Nor
 Steve2600
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 32
37 and still single? Why won't a woman date me?
Posted: 8/21/2009 5:36:08 PM
My friend, I feel your pain. Sorry to hear that. While I dont have quite the health issues you have (though I do have serious back issues though limiting my enjoyment of life and affecting my work performance) I too am 42 , single, never married, no kids. Look, I hate to tell you this but its fact in America (not so much overseas). If you dont have a dime to rub together, woman will tend to shy away. 99% of woman in the USA expect a man to be in good enough health and to be able to have and carry a good paying job. I am guessing that your health issues forbade you from getting a good paying job?

Its simply a case of no money, no honey.

If you have any interest in woman overseas, especially ladies in the Philippines (who are very loving and are even natural caretakers), you will have far greater chances at finding a woman who will really love you for you and not care about your income earning situation or your health issues. Many Western people may find that statement objectionable but unfortunately, for anyone who has had experience of actually dating foreign ladies (Asia , latin america in particular) they will confirm this as fact. Even my psychiatrist told me that Western culture values youth, health, and money. Asian culture for example values Age and wisdom more than anything else. Most foreign ladies just want a husband and a man to have a family with. Western ladies want you to be in good shape, look good, and make a descent living money wise. Its a tough road in the USA if you are lacking any of these.

Good luck either way, Ill be pulling for you my friend.
 Steve2600
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 33
37 and still single? Why won't a woman date me?
Posted: 8/21/2009 5:44:09 PM

Let's be realistic, there aren't a lot of girls who want to date someone who is unemployed and who lives with his parents. That's just a fact.


IN the USA , I would agree with this statement. Get on the foreign dating/pen pal sites and this will not be the case. Most foreign countries have it as a norm that adults live at home until they off and marry. And most foreign ladies wont care what you make as they intend to work also and thus it beomes a team effort. In the west, the ladies expect a man to make the dough.
 AlwaysExpectMiracles
Joined: 5/14/2009
Msg: 34
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37 and still single? Why won't a woman date me?
Posted: 8/22/2009 11:00:40 PM
They say dyslexia is a sign of a genious! It always made me feel better about my weird spelling errors.
 ligonmaximus
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 35
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37 and still single? Why won't a woman date me?
Posted: 8/22/2009 11:36:41 PM
I agree with the others that living at home and being unemployed are not helping your cause with women. Most women in the Western world expect a man by the time he is in his 30's for sure to have at least some form of job even if he has a disability and he is living at home with his folks regardless of the current economic situation. If you can't find a job you need to be actively looking for one and you aren't actively looking for a job you need to doing undergrad or graduate college courses online if you don't have a Master's degree already. If you lived in Eastern Europe or Russia living at home would not be such a big deal.

As far as your disability is concerned fight the best you can and do not mention it too women unless they ASK or if you find yourself in a long-term dating relationship with one then tell her if that makes you feel more comfortable with her.

Personally I think your biggest problem is this:

"I'm a decent, friend, kind, trustworthy and respectful person, if someone got to know me properly vice versa, but nobody wants to know."

I know where your coming from here and I still have this same problem myself. However, I will tell you that being a friend to women, being kind too women, and being decent usually does the opposite with women as far as the attraction game is concerned. Being overly nice either places you into the instant forever friend zone, creepy guy zone, and other zone that means that your never getting with the girl relationship wise. Trust me on that one, I know more than a lot of guys (i.e. speaking from past experience). Being the super nice guy does not work and had not worked since the 1950's and early 60's probably. While being nice and decent can be great with women on some levels, it does not create attraction/chemistry with most modern women whatsoever as far as the dating/romance attraction game is concerned. If you want to know more read some of my old posts under the David Deangelo forums or better yet look up a guy named Dr. Paul Dobransky. The guy runs dating boot camps for men in Chicago and is a freaking genius. I need to go too his dating boot camps myself if I ever date again.

A lot of the problems that your experiencing with women not wanting to know you is because you are not creating attraction/chemistry with them whatsoever. It's OK your not along thousands of other guys have the exact same problem. Much of the problem is due to the fact that is not a modern rites of passage from boyhood into manhood for most boys in their teenage years as there was in most ancient tribal type societies.

The ladies and the guys are all giving you wonderful advice here. I agree with Steve that you may consider trying dating in the Philippines or in Latin America. The cultures are less individualistic than western society, which means you might have a better chance dating foreign women. However, this will require getting a job and making enough money to date women overseas of course. Dating in Western society is and can be challenging for men especially for "nice" guys who have little or no game with women. Especially online you will run into a lot of perfectionism in the dating game as is expected because the number of men online always outnumber of ladies therefore raising the expectations and standards for each guy. Trust me, I speak from past experience. You might try another venue like church as well if your religious or not as I have not read your profile yet. You might could find a FEW girls at church who might consider dating you. The online dating world is entirely a different ballgame.

I also agree with the one guy who says that he is happier being single than playing the dating game. You might try just focusing on increasing your happiness by working on yourself and enjoying life by doing the hobbies that you enjoy doing like traveling or whatever. However, I do recommend getting out as much as possible and interacting with people as much as possible which will improve social skills and could increase your baseline level of happiness.

I would suspect that many women are placing you into the creepy guy zone category especially when you want to date just younger women. While it's great that your not looking for an older lady like your mom, if women find out that you want to date nothing, but younger ladies this could come off as being creepy. God Bless and Good Luck!
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