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Show ALL Forums  > Testimonials  > Online Dating: It's an Insane Asylum,....and right at your fingertips!      Home login  
Joined: 6/29/2009
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Online Dating: It's an Insane Asylum,....and right at your fingertips!Page 1 of 1    
The following is presented with the belief that none of us can survive today's dating scene without a few laughs. It is dedicated to the thousands of normal people out there, who have found the whole experience to be,... shall we say,.... less than fulfilling.

Each person below was asked to provide their own special insights concerning Online Dating.


Herbert P. .................Masters Degree in English

"i rilly luv the dating sites, bicause they hav so many talinted and educated folks on them, just like miself. But i just can't stand it when i see how poor sum peeples riting skills are. Can you beleve how tarrible some of these peeple spell?".

Melissa N. ................Relationship Critic

"Well, I like to spend my free time looking through the dating site Forums, to find people who might not be doing very well. That's when I really feel important. I just love posting criticisms of other singles and cutting them down. OK,....alright, alright, I've been divorced three times,....who's counting,......but I'm still better than the rest of these people on here. My last husband used to tell me that I had a big ego, but what does he know".

Moonflower D............Self Mutilation Enthusiast

"I just love body art and how fun it is to share it with other people. When I realized that I had tattooed both of my arms, I decided to have three more studs stuck through my lower lip and eyebrows. Some guys have told me that they find this sort of thing to be unattractive,...well, who cares,....I'm not looking for a man anyway".

Trixie T. ........................Financial Advisor

"Look,'s all about the money, stupid. I'm good looking and I know it,....and so I don't really have to bother with having a personality. Now, of course, the guy that I date has to look like a movie star to gain my acceptance,...but that's a given. Some people have actually had the nerve to call me a Gold Digger,.....but I like to think of myself as more of a Prospector. Anyway,.....I think that the men these days have utterly failed to live up to my expectations. For instance: it was on my last dinner date. All I did was ask to see the guys most recent bank account statement,....and he refused. That was an early night, let me tell you".

Tony C. ......................Aspiring Actor

"I used to go to the trouble of writing honest profile essays, but it wasn't working too well. I now write the most appallingly dishonest descriptions of myself that you could even imagine,....and dude,...I'm getting laid every weekend now,......and so what if they find out later that I'm not really a stock broker and that I actually have a long criminal record,.....I've had MY fun".

Lance W. ................Part Time Bad Boy

"I've learned how to adjust my profile, to tell these chicks just what they want to hear. It's a delicate balance, you know. I make sure to really stress the money aspect, of course,.... but I also include some baloney about owning huge amounts of real estate. Once I've got their attention by saying that, I then add the bit about how I'm a nasty boy, that I wear black leather jackets everywhere and ride around on a Harley. Now, mind you,....the only thing I've ever ridden on was just a motor scooter,....and I've never even been on a motorcycle,..... but when they ask me about it, I just say that the Harley is in the shop. Does it work? Are you kiddin' me? My inbox is overflowing with replies. I'm currently having sex with two very attractive married women. They must have spotted the part about how I'm looking only for an honest woman. Anyway,,.... this is the life. I can't believe how much time I had wasted before, when I was being sincere. It was getting me nowhere".


Aren't these folks wonderful? I really like them,........don't you? You don't? Why, that's very judgmental of you. These are the internet's finest! LOL.
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