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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Would you date a girl with a psycho EX BF?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 slybandit
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 2
Would you date a girl with a psycho EX BF?Page 1 of 1    
Hey, I have a proposition for you, OP. I have this great guy for you, but there's one drawback.

You see, he has this nutty ex-gf. He's had to get a restraining order.

She stalks his house, goes through his garbage to scrutinize his credit card statements. Be prepared for your cell phone number to be posted online to lesbian S&M-oriented websites.

She'll call the restaurant you're at while on a date with him, posing as his wife, looking for him. Be prepared for some comfortable conversations with offended waitresses.

There's certainly a fake paternity lawsuit in his future. This will be expensive to clear up.

If you continue dating him, be prepared for your neighborhood to be plastered with posters of you, claiming that you have herpes.

She'll show up at your workplace, pose as a customer and then accuse *you* of molesting her. She'll phone your parents, posing as a cop, and tell them you've died in a car accident.

So, yeah, in a word, NO, I would not be particularly enthusiastic about dating a woman with a nutty ex, thank you, any more than you'd enjoy the above-described psychodrama.
 Write Time
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 5
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Would you date a girl with a psycho EX BF?
Posted: 8/25/2009 7:36:29 AM
Last time I saw a situation like this, the girl got a rifle for protection, and the psycho ex boyfriend ended up dead from a justifiable homicide.

I wouldn't ever want to get in the middle of such a situation again, nor would I wish it upon anyone.

Please don't think this problem will just resolve itself. Do something about it before it escalates.
 slybandit
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 6
Would you date a girl with a psycho EX BF?
Posted: 8/25/2009 7:38:35 AM
You already did the restraining order thing.

You can also sue this individual in civil Court for harassment. Sometimes financial consequences can deter this kind of behaviour, but you can trust the police to be next-to-useless.

What I'd really suggest you do is move, change jobs. If you pay off all the debts you have, there's no real reason why you'd need to leave a forwarding address with anyone other than friends and family, and warn them about keeping it private. Then keep your address and contact information out of directories, off of websites and so forth.

At 22 with no kids there are easily 100's of thousands of places you can go in the U.S. alone. You can also move to countries that actually protect individual privacy a bit, like Canada.

EDIT: And in case it actually needs to be mentioned, posting your photo online on a dating website with an indication of where you live will be less than useful for this process.
 JP1111
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 8
Would you date a girl with a psycho EX BF?
Posted: 8/25/2009 8:04:15 AM
It sure seems to me that I heard much much more in your question than you realize.

1. Why did you first date a guy like that?
2. When you answer “I didn’t know he was like that”, I would ask you “What does that tell you about how well you can read people”?
3. I would also tell you “Why have you not spoken to him about his odd behaviour? If it scares you, wouldn’t he want to stop it?
4. When you tell me “But he won’t stop doing it”, what does that tell you about how well you’ve learned to communicate with him?

I’m not trying to sound mean or rude at all but rather, simply help you realize that you still have a great and big responsibility as to what happens in your life.

If you want things to change for you, it will be up to you to act on them and change them… perhaps from a different approach!
 Fukingruvin
Joined: 7/18/2009
Msg: 10
Would you date a girl with a psycho EX BF?
Posted: 8/25/2009 8:36:59 AM
Personally, I wouldn't. Not a fan of drama, but more importantly, if the girl can't get rid of a guy and move on, then I don't want to get involved with her. Sure there may be some things out of her control, but worst case scenario time'll solve it and I'll pass till that time comes.
 2fuzy
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 12
Would you date a girl with a psycho EX BF?
Posted: 8/25/2009 9:04:56 AM
yes but with great trepidation as I have been stuck in the protector role once and played as she just wanted someone to keep psycho boy at bay live and learn
 MrMiracle
Joined: 7/31/2009
Msg: 15
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Would you date a girl with a psycho EX BF?
Posted: 8/25/2009 10:06:55 AM
i would make my decision based entirely on the girl. if i like the girl then (almost) nothing in the past will make me not want to date her. i've dealt with psycho exs before and without exception they are not the alpha males they seem to be. they behave that way towards women because they have no real control elsewhere in their life. once they have to contend with a real man they always fall on their asses. don't worry, you're still extremely dateable. just be careful you don't go for the same type of guy again (sounds obvious but so many women do)

t.m.
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Would you date a girl with a psycho EX BF?