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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Tolerance with age?      Home login  
Joined: 6/6/2009
Msg: 1
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Tolerance with age?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
What would you tolerate now,
that you wouldn't when you were younger,,,


are you less tolerant now having dealt with behaviors that got out of hand and became annoying?

Personally, I don't think there's anything I didn't tolerate then that I would tolerate now,,, but now, I have little tolerance for heavy drinkers.
Joined: 8/11/2008
Msg: 2
Tolerance with age?
Posted: 8/29/2009 9:17:03 PM
I never did tolerate people who treated others badly .... I had no tact however and it was an in your face approach ... while I still won't tolerate it - I like to think that with age I have a more "gentle" approach to things that bother me .... ahhh age and wisdom . .. who'd have thunk
Joined: 8/1/2007
Msg: 3
Tolerance with age?
Posted: 8/29/2009 9:23:35 PM
when i was younger i was a bit of a rebel.....but i always showed respect for others and especially my elders.

as for drunks?
i've never been a big drinker. i can't handle too much alcohol so usually stop drinking after i've had a's not a good look for me to be found lying under the table before the main course is served......a second date isn't usually proffered!

actually i have little tolerance for intolerant people.....
Joined: 2/25/2008
Msg: 4
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Tolerance with age?
Posted: 8/29/2009 9:44:02 PM
Yes with age wisdom, should come, I can think of a whole lotta Sh*t I would tolerate when I was young, and well you know the rest. But let's keep this sweet. Lets see people that get totally drunk, or too $ithchy, I can't tolerate too much alcohol, I tolerate cars coming in the oncoming lane, I even slow down and let them get on. God that peaves me off when cars won't let you in. Or they have space to get over and they won't . Gaaawwwd. I have a very low tolerace for purposely rude and two faced people.
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 5
Tolerance with age?
Posted: 8/29/2009 9:47:04 PM
I have no tolerance for Eminem and 50 cents and any thug type of crap with their ignorant lyrics, drum machine and they have the nerve to call that music??
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 6
Tolerance with age?
Posted: 8/29/2009 9:56:22 PM
I tolerate a less than godly physique now. Seriously--I'm less about looks now than in the past (I have to be, I am not as good-looking, either).

I think I put up with more when I was younger. I recal my first BF telling me I couldn't listen to my music because HE didn't like it, and I said ok. Now I'd laugh if a guy tried to tell me what MUSIC I 'should' listen to. And then dump him as control freak. I realy have a problem with control freaks. Or, rather, they get a problem with ME. Most people are push-overs and if you allow someone to control your life, they will do it, and get USED to doing it. I love to mess with control freaks.
Joined: 10/22/2007
Msg: 7
Tolerance with age?
Posted: 8/29/2009 10:08:11 PM
hi... outside of gross injustice I can tolerate most everything once (benefit of the doubt stuff) but after a few times it needs serious discussion.... it seems that I have less tolerance for family/friends than strangers.... blessings for tolerance
Joined: 7/19/2008
Msg: 8
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Tolerance with age?
Posted: 8/29/2009 10:08:46 PM
hmm... for me it depends on in whom the behaviours to be tolerated are...

in people in general, extremely tolerant-- in friends, very very tolerant.

in an SO, pretty darn tolerant-- i used to be more tolerant, but i discovered that sometimes that tolerance is not appreciated... so i don't sweat the small stuff, as long as the tolerance is reciprocated, and the person is as keen as i am to understand the other's boundaries, and doesn't keep crossing them.

which means a fairly high level of interpersonal consideration and desire to communicate.

anyone who has had an ex who was, um, boundary-challenged i think is wary about this.
Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 9
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Tolerance with age?
Posted: 8/29/2009 10:27:53 PM

I'm less tolerant nowadays of anything that will stand in the way of the whole Globe coming together and becoming united. Yes, I'm a child of the 60s and still believe that we can all be united. Lose the Bigotry. Lose the thought that only humans belong on this earth. Remember the joy that a cute kitten or puppy, or even cub Lion creates. Lose Hatred.

Let the oceans live. Let humans of all kinds be who they truly are. Let the wolves, and the lions, and the buffalo, and the Emus live. They were borne onto this Earth. Who are we to judge whether they should live or die?

Let the "dumb blondes" learn to love the ones with corn husks rolls.

Rejoice in life. Perpetuate the existence of peace with diversity. Live.
Joined: 8/14/2009
Msg: 10
Tolerance with age?
Posted: 8/29/2009 10:34:35 PM
As I get older I seem to escape heavy drinkers and smoke-filled environments pretty quickly.

I used to love super loud music ~ and now it's a rare occasion that I want to blast it to deafening levels unless I'm out dancing or listening to live music.

Crazy fast drivers I won't ride with anymore (I used to be the crazy fast driver...and that's stopped most of the time now too).

I used to have patience to listen to people brag about their accomplishments non-stop ~ now I just find them to be a bore.

When dating ~ I don't stick around long if he never does what he says he's going to do.

I used to be able to be around constant complainers ~ now I just want them to shut up or leave.

I used to stand by quietly when people mistreated customer service persons working in stores and restaurants ~ now I shred those people!

My patience for unpleasant environments and BS is running on empty.....

Joined: 7/27/2009
Msg: 11
Tolerance with age?
Posted: 8/29/2009 10:44:42 PM
I tell you what, reading some of the posters here - I don't think they could tolerate anyone except their clone. EVERYTHING sets them off...and talk about know-alls.
Yep, I find know-alls just about intolerable...
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 12
Tolerance with age?
Posted: 8/29/2009 10:53:08 PM
I will no longer tolerate being mistreated in anyway. No second chances when it comes to abuse, either physical, verbal or mental.

I will not tolerate someone doing illegal or excessive drugs of any sort.

I will not tolerate heavy drinkers.

I will not tolerate being cheated on by my partner.

I will not tolerate walking on eggshells do to someone's volatile mood and mood swings.

Aside from those things, I'm pretty well good to go!
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 13
Tolerance with age?
Posted: 8/29/2009 10:59:55 PM
I agree that I may have become less tolerant with some things. More so with how I am treated or my children. I know we don't realize how we sound to others at times. So I don't deny I do it myself. I say things that sound wrong and/or taken the wrong way. But there are some things people say or do that can't be taken any other way but offensive. With out going into much more about this, some times it is better to say nothing at all then to open your mouth and say something that isn't nice.
Joined: 2/27/2009
Msg: 14
Tolerance with age?
Posted: 8/29/2009 11:29:31 PM
forrum filly pretty much said it all.

There is no reason we should have to tolerate drug or alcohol abusers in our lives, being treated badly by others, or being cheated on.

I am a really easy going person but I have no use for these types in my life.
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 15
Tolerance with age?
Posted: 8/30/2009 12:57:13 AM
Once again ForumFilly hits the nail on the head!

I will no longer tolerate being mistreated in anyway. No second chances when it comes to abuse, either physical, verbal or mental.

I will not tolerate someone doing illegal or excessive drugs of any sort.

I will not tolerate heavy drinkers.

I will not tolerate being cheated on by my partner.

I will not tolerate walking on eggshells do to someone's volatile mood and mood swings.

Of course some of those things we only discover once we're partway down the relationship track, but attitudes to violence, abuse, alcohol, drugs etc come up fairly early in the piece. Unfortunately you don't usually get to experience the moodswings straight away, but once that switch has been flicked that's a huge red flag for me, and usually the moodswings seem to come from alcohol. :-(
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 16
Tolerance with age?
Posted: 8/30/2009 4:13:53 AM

I have little tolerance for heavy drinkers.

I am rather patient person but perhaps a little less patient now that I am older.. Like you I have no tolerance for heavy drinkers.. I can easily add to this list but fear it is getting rather long.

Joined: 12/5/2007
Msg: 17
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Tolerance with age?
Posted: 8/30/2009 5:23:57 AM
This question is why I love joining in the forums. It keeps my mind working and my typing skills have improved significantly..............

First of all, a person must first think another person is wrong, or in the wrong OR behaving inappropriately , in order to exercise tolerance towards them. We can't tolerate someone or something, unless we disagree. This is a "critical" theory.

We don't tolerate people, who think like us, share our views or lifestyles. They're on our side or on our wave-length. There's nothing to put up with. Nothing to tolerate.
Tolerance is reserved for those we think are "wrong" or "in the wrong".

Nowadays, if you think someone is wrong, you're called "intolerant". It's a Catch-22. According to this approach, true tolerance is impossible.

When I was MUCH younger, my Dad used to say "If you can't say anything nice about someone, don't say anything at all."
I thought that meant that if someone was "acting" rude, offensive, or saying obnoxious things, in general "out of line", to "tolerate" it and say nothing. A kinda peace, at any price, stance.
Well, after getting bull-dozed over a few times, I picked myself up and started taking MY place. NO ONE has the right to show lack of respect, treat me badly or others badly.
If that's "intolerance", on my part, so be it.

As an example, I've said on another forum (Cougar), I have zero tolerance for put-downs and labels used against other people. Just because, "things" are embellished or "names" are popular in the media and by society, it does not mean it's right, in my estimation. You see, I think it's wrong. And I have no tolerance for it. Others, on the other hand, who see nothing "wrong" with it, have no problem. In fact, they can't figure out why "some people" are having a problem with it?
You see?
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 18
Tolerance with age?
Posted: 8/30/2009 5:50:02 AM
I have a lower tolerance for people who expect me to solve THEIR problems.
I have an increased tolerance for my finite capacity to solve MY problems.
I have a lower tolerance for MY errors in judging the difference between the above situations.
I have an increased tolerance for teaching the young ones how to fish!!
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 19
Tolerance with age?
Posted: 8/30/2009 5:52:48 AM
I accept that people out there in the world are going be doing what they’re going to be doing.
So I try not to let it get into MY mind to ‘bother’ me.
It’s been a pretty long life, and I enjoy my peace around me now.

Now, sometimes I run up against a person’s rudeness.
People in wheelchairs can bring out a certain ‘type’ of rudeness in other people, you would not believe.
When that happens, I have been known to put out a good sentence of non-tolerance.
And then I pull my cloak of peace back around me.

Heavy obnoxious drinkers, mean spirited friends, abusers, etc?
Strange that people are saying “I won’t tolerate that”.
I mean, that kinda goes without saying, in my entire life.
And has nothing to do with my age.
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 20
Tolerance with age?
Posted: 8/30/2009 5:58:44 AM
Here's a thread I started a while back, about tolerance of the 'smaller stuff" within a relationship now that we are older.
 Me Leona
Joined: 7/31/2008
Msg: 21
Tolerance with age?
Posted: 8/30/2009 6:41:47 AM
All the comments about drinkers, somehow I think must've been a result of the other thread, alcohol and baby boomers? Obviously drunks and alcoholics are different than people who drink socially or enjoy wine with dinner, and it can be a fine line. Most people believe anyone who drinks more than they do drinks too much.

I won't tolerate someone who cancels dates constantly for various and sundry reasons or who is constantly late.

I won't tolerate a liar, cheater, self-obsession, lack of hygiene, passive-aggressiveness, disrespect, etc., but of course some things you can tell right away and other things not. I think my senses are finer-tuned though to catch things quicker than they used to be (maybe too quick). I've always tended to want to be fair and understanding and not jump to quick judgments but I guess it usually turned out my original perception was mostly accurate.
Joined: 12/3/2008
Msg: 22
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Tolerance with age?
Posted: 8/30/2009 6:56:10 AM
One thing I would never tolerate is violence of any kind. I've never been the victim of violence, but I did date someone once who I found out had a history of hitting women. He was not physically abusive, but he did try to become controlling, which is another trait I can't hang with. I had to end that relationship. I couldn't take the chance. I found out that he began hitting the next woman he dated, so it was definitely the right choice.

The only other thing that is hard for me to handle is selfishness. I have a hard time dating someone who doesn't seem to care what the other person thinks. The last guy I dated only wanted to go to bars and drink while we were out. I told him many times that I wanted to do other things, like go to a street festival or a movie. He would talk a good game, but when it came down to it, we would go to another bar or a gambling boat. Also, we lived 35 miles apart (not bad for Chicagoland), and he would never come down to my area to go out. He alway expected me to travel to see him. While he was a genuinely nice guy, after several months, it was clear that he really only cared about what he wanted. My feeling is that you have to care about what's important to the other person as well as your own wants and needs, but that's only me. :)
Joined: 5/31/2009
Msg: 23
Tolerance with age?
Posted: 8/30/2009 7:00:26 AM
When I was much younger it used to bother me:
When people rant and rave in an attempt to get their opinion across or to try to convince everyone else that their opinion is right, or to knock down someone elses opinion, or just to stop discussion on the subject completely.
With age, the experience of my marriage, and the experience on POF of seeing not much changing between certain of the sexes since I was single ,

I have now come to grips with this behaviour.........I'm good now. ( and so, I believe that with age I have become more tolerant of many things )
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 24
Tolerance with age?
Posted: 8/30/2009 7:35:18 AM
Wow, before I didnt put up with it seems that is all I do. I dont think it is because of age. I dont think in the past I was right and I was trying not to be as much of a total **** but the way this is worded and the way I reacted when I read it makes me think I should go back to ****y.

Wonder why being nice and good makes you look weak to others so they can take advantage of it?
Joined: 9/20/2006
Msg: 25
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Tolerance with age?
Posted: 8/30/2009 7:44:11 AM
There is a wide range relationships in which tolerance plays a part. Usually tolerance is inversely porportional to the physical distance between the parties. Genocide in Chad doesn't have me marching on Washington to fix the problem because it is so far away that it doesn't affect me except when the newspaper prints another article about it.

Conversely, little daily nuisances can be so overbearing that they appear to be greater than they are, but it might be something that we can directly and immediately implement a simple remedy for.

As for tolerance within a relationship (or a potential one), rather than looking at all the individual items of discord, I usually leave it up to my subconscious. After spending a few hours together with a person, if I find I need to take a day to relax and decompress afterward, then that is certainly an indication that I am intolerant of some part of her personality even if I'm not aware of exactly what it is.

So for the question, "Am I more tolerant with age?", I would say that I am more aware of my limitations than when I was young and stupid. I can still have bouts of stupidity, but I can no longer blame it on inexperience.
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