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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > The Night that Didn't End so Well.      Home login  
 Mike Seguin
Joined: 8/5/2009
Msg: 1
The Night that Didn't End so Well.Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
FOREWARNING: long read ahead...

Okay, so here's the story: Tonight, I went out with a friend (who is my love interest), on a date to a local bar, to play some pool, and have a few drinks to wind down a tiresome week for the both of us. Keep in mind we are BOTH tired and exhausted.

We get there, and as I hadn't eaten much that day, I go to get some food. My date apparently hadn't eaten anything in the past 24 hours, and refused to let me buy her some food. Not a good idea to drink on an empty stomach.

That lasted for a good half hour, where I was doing most of the talking, and my date seeming really bored. She had said she was tired and lost in thought (who isn't after a long week of work?), but then admitted to being bored.

So, we got to playing pool. She actually seemed like she was having a bit of fun, but she kept popping up her cell phone for text messages while i was taking my shots. this i didn't really mind.

After the pool, we sat down at the table again, where she was quiet and bored-looking again, despite me trying to stimulate conversation. She became almost completely absorbed in her cell phone, where she was having an msn conversation with an ex. I suggest we leave the bar and walk around for a bit, find something else to do. She says sure. As we walk outside, she suddently tells me we're going to her ex's house.

Let's take a moment to explain something here... her ex had borrowed her Playstation 2, a game console, worth about $50 used at any used electronics store. My date had been arguing with the ex, and this ex had told her he was going to keep her Playstation 2. So, she insisted that it had to be at that very moment we went and got the damn thing. So, a half hour walk, and we were there (me being quiet the whole way; being upset), and her saying she was scared, and we got the thing, and were on our way. I walked her to her building, still quiet, and said a brief goodbye before heading off on my way.


My thoughts on the matter: I think it was extremely selfish of her to not only act bored when i was trying to show her a nice time, but suddenly decide that a fifty dollar game console was more important than spending time with someone she apparently likes. As well, she knows I like her and would be interested in pursuing something more. It hurts me that I even feel these feelings of anger, and being so upset over it; I don't know if I'm overreacting or what. To me, it just seems selfish of her, not caring how I feel, or even asking that I come along, just assuming I would, to the ex's house.

What I want to know is your thoughts on this; am I just too dramatic over this experience? or am I rightfully upset at her behavior? I really liked her, but now I can't seem to pull up that feeling of affection towards her I had before, and it's making me feel like a really bad person. :(
Joined: 2/25/2008
Msg: 2
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The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/29/2009 9:18:30 PM
Oh Mike, Mike, Mike !!! Time to start shopping for a new mate. If her heart is not in it. If she felt for you, she would have asked. Are you sure she does not still have feelings for the Ex? Thats what I'm thinking. You are handsome and caring enough get yourself a new girl. Good Luck!
Joined: 8/13/2009
Msg: 3
The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/29/2009 9:19:11 PM
The reason you "can't seem to pull up that feeling of affection towards her I had before" is because she stomped those nice feelings right into the pavement. It's GOOD that you feel this way after the way she acted. You'd be a doormat if you didn't let it bother you. Now I'm basing this based on you saying you two were on a date, right? And she knows you like her sexually, right?

It was selfish if she just presumed that what she wanted was the important thing about the whole night. She seemed to be more interested in her Playstation than in having a "date" with you. That is if it WAS a date. It's hard to say since we don't have her side of the story.

But honestly if you aren't feeling warm and fuzzy toward her anymore then listen to that. It's the tool that smart people use when deciding about how we should feel about someone. If someone were to take you for granted and use you as a lapdog, well then you should stand up and walk away from that. If you didn't then you'd be a schmuck, right?

Sounds like you were a nice guy, escorting her to get her beloved toy, but if she isn't treating you the way you deserve (and want) to be treated, then don't pursue a dating relationship with the girl. It doesn't sound like she's "all there" on that same dating page with you.

Sorry your night turned to shiit kiddo.
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 4
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The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/29/2009 11:15:24 PM
i HATE people who are a slave to their god damn phone. she sounds like a dingbat, anyway. cut her loose- you can DO BETTER.
 Mike Seguin
Joined: 8/5/2009
Msg: 5
The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/30/2009 6:41:15 AM
Thanks for the feedback guys; even those of you who in some form or another told me that it was my fault.
The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/30/2009 8:18:16 AM
Whether she was as interested in you as you were in her is irrelevant; the plain truth is she was flat out rude! Now maybe she wasn't that into you, but she should have just told you if that was the case instead of playing games in the hope you'd lose interest (sounds like mission accomplished there!). If she really did like you but was just oblivious to your feelings by paying more attention to her texting than to you, well, that's even worse, as she clearly lacks social skills. The trick is to take something positive out of a bad experience. The lesson you learned here is don't tolerate rude, boorish behavior from someone while you're out on a date, behavior you would never expect anyone to accept from you. Perhaps the whole cell phone issue is a generational thing, but after the second text message I would have politely asked her to put away the phone, and if she wouldn't do that, my evening with her would have been over then and there.
 Mike Seguin
Joined: 8/5/2009
Msg: 7
The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/30/2009 8:59:05 AM
Yes, it's the same girl.
Joined: 4/13/2009
Msg: 8
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The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/30/2009 10:59:28 AM
I wouldn't have gone to the ex's house,that could've got ugly.
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 9
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The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/30/2009 11:41:50 AM
OP: You're very attracted to this girl, and that's clouding your judgment. It's understandable for a relatively inexperienced 20-year-old to feel what you're feeling. Hormones, lust, and chemistry can be very strong, and can cause some guys to act like marks. You're acting like a mark for this piece of trash. It may take you awhile to get over her; but you will get over her, and will move on to better experiences and relationships. Just keep that in mind, even while you're still dealing with your feelings for this girl. Yes, she lacks class. Yes, she was rude. Yes, you should move on. No, you're not wrong for being pissed off, but you need to get over it (and her) and move on.

Good luck.
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