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Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 3
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High maintenance womanPage 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
high maintenance in the monetary sense:....that's great that most women pay for all their personal indulgences.however,many also take 3 or 4 vacations a year at 5 grand a pop....or more.not everybody can afford that.......or they need to live in upscale housing.again.....not everybody's thing.....even for us that can afford it.high maintenance.....keepin up with the jones' thanks.

high maintenance emotionally,psychologically,etc..... women that need to be reassured all the time.....need all your thanks.
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 10
High maintenance woman
Posted: 8/31/2009 7:36:26 AM
I think it means her day to day wants or needs she requires others to maintain for her. A mental, financial, emotional, or time drain on other people.

If she's a PITA but takes care of all her own stuff then she's self sufficient, she maintains from within.
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 11
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High maintenance woman
Posted: 8/31/2009 7:39:27 AM

When she says she pays for it and is worth it the men invariably are still wigged out...($200 haircuts..a personal trainer...)

At what cost? Is she in debt? Can she not pay for other things because she pours so much money into personal upkeep? These are some of the things guys will be looking at; is a woman fiscally responsible. Fine that she pays for it all, but if she's living in a bachelor rental and eating KD because she blows all her cash on her looks, you can see, I hope, that that would be of concern to a lot of guys.
Joined: 7/16/2009
Msg: 12
High maintenance woman
Posted: 8/31/2009 8:02:43 AM
ummm...differenent things..and ladies , if these are you , I'm not saying if they're bad or not..just saying...

High maintenance girls usually lug 3 suitcases for a weekend camping trip..which must be in a campground in order for their flat iron to work. They simply are not wash 'n' wear types of girls and don't really even get the concept. They would get eaten or starve if stranded in the woods.

They are generally more into shopping & being seen than getting muddy and dirty anyway..just saying. They are the gorgeous looking ones at the gym and dance club..who don't break a sweat or have a hair fall out of place. (I'm the one at the gym keeping my mouth shut & sweating my ass off..or on the dance floor all night, laughing and also sweating my ass off..)
They believe , at least to some degree, that their man is personally responsible for their own happiness and welfare..and if something goes wrong in their day can usually figure out a way to blame the s.o. It really turns my stomach when I hear a girl b*ching at her man cause they are late since there was an accident on the freeway. WTF? He has mind control powers to know such things? Stuff just happens sometimes. And if she hadn't spent an hour getting ready, perhaps they would have been on time in the first place. And really, I know it's rude to be late and all..but life is too short to get upset about such things..if you are , you are , and being upset won't make it different; in fact it usually exacerbates the whole situation. Only thing worse?? Hearing her man actually say 'I know honey, I'm sorry'. Please. Sad.
High maintenance girls tend to want their man on a leash and at their beck & call. And then they get bored because they're not 'manly' enough. Sorry girls, you can't have it both way. Alpha or emasculated. Some tend to use sex for leverage...which is funny and puzzling to me..funny cause it's like cutting your own nose to spite your face...and puzzling cause I'd never have the willpower to pull that off even if I wanted to.
There are degrees to everything. And just because a woman does likes to dress nicely, go to the salon, wear makeup, etc...doesn't necessarily mean she's a high maintenance type. Especially if she knows when , and is able to , just forgo such things.
I am pretty much a low maintenance type ..and responsible for my own 'stuff' =)

Edit..Yeah I read the posts..also definitely the high maintenance emotionally , too...needs constant reassurance and gets threatened easily by other women, etc..doesn't get her self-esteem from within so needs that external assurance. Less common or less severe as women get older and more comfortable in their own skin. Difficult/impossible to have a balanced relationship with your own time with a girl like this. Emotional energy suckers who don't give back.
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 13
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High maintenance woman
Posted: 8/31/2009 8:16:25 AM
To some extent, you are talking about apples and oranges because as Caz noted, there are two kinds of high maintenance and they often overlap.

Look at your friend as an example, in the beginning of a relationship, if you know someone is dropping $200 on a haircut what exactly do you get them as a gift? Because of their appearance, they seem like they would not appreciate anything that was not high dollar. So does someone get an inappropriately expensive gift given the length of the relationship whether he can or not afford it? Does this woman demand the best of everything so that dating requires shelling out wads of cash rather than something most of us would consider normal, in Texas, going to a bar-b-que joint or a local hole-in-the-wall bar because you are concerned about the company rather than the atmosphere? If you are considering long-term it is a more important issue.

With my life experience, I believe that it is beneficial for people that are cohabitating or married to have a joint account to take care of household bills and common expenses which in my life would also include vehicles, electronics, etc. So if a guy is not a big spender on much of anything, so he doesn't really need that much money on a monthly basis for his own personal use, does he wind up just saving chitloads of money and how do they determine equitable contributions in common funds? Similar ways of managing money are issues in a relationship. People have different ideas about necessities and luxuries.

Then there is the time required to be high maintenance. Duh, guys like a pretty woman but it has been my experience that high maintenance people take a hundred years to get ready to do anything and I would run like the wind. I can grab a shower and be ready to leave the house in 15 minutes so someone like that would drive me insane. Guys may be falling all over her to date but do they want to spend a substantial amount of their lives waiting for her to get ready to go out to get the morning paper?

I don't think it is the money spent, which is why her paying for it herself isn't the issue, but at what point does good grooming become simply narcissistic almost OCD behavior? Is this woman equipped to cope should life experiences keep her from getting those $200 haircuts? She may look good but she is also telegraphing the information that the majority of her self-worth is tied up in her appearance. I think a lot of it may be perspective on the important things in life, something that most people have thought about a great deal in the last eight years or so.
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 14
High maintenance woman
Posted: 8/31/2009 8:35:04 AM

Yeah I read the posts..also definitely the high maintenance emotionally , too...needs constant reassurance and gets threatened easily by other women, etc..doesn't get her self-esteem from within so needs that external assurance. Less common or less severe as women get older and more comfortable in their own skin. Difficult/impossible to have a balanced relationship with your own time with a girl like this. Emotional energy suckers who don't give back.

in my experience it gets worse with age as getting older just adds to the issues
Joined: 7/11/2009
Msg: 15
High maintenance woman
Posted: 8/31/2009 8:56:37 AM
In my opinion, I don't care what a woman is doing to take care of herself (good for her by the way!) If she isn't looking for some man to foot the bill for all of that, then what's high maintenance about it??? Aside from the fact he might need to find an alternate source of entertainment when she is getting these things done, but what man wants a woman hanging on his side 24/7 anyway???
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 16
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High maintenance woman
Posted: 8/31/2009 10:45:20 AM
I was once a high maintenance woman, I work hard for my money it is only right that I splurge on what ever I want that I did not have when I was growing up.. Since I become a widow that I am paying all my bills solo, I learned an alternative to pamper myself,or "trying hard to look young and savvy"... I study the monks habits ( buddhism) why they have beautiful skin, and why they are ageless. My driver licence pic is younger than my profile's pic which was taken earlier. Perhaps ,that void inside me is filled up ,that I felt beautiful...

My Dad once told me when I was a teenager that it is not what you wear to impress a person it is your attitude that impressed them.. well I practice that now. lol..
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 17
High maintenance woman
Posted: 8/31/2009 11:39:27 AM
Men don' know what the f---k they want!

If you look good they read it as "high maintenance", yet they don't want a woman who doesn't look "put together" at all times.

And the older they are the WORSE it gets!
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 18
High maintenance woman
Posted: 8/31/2009 11:53:09 AM
I got stuck on the fact that your fella thinks MAC cosmetics are expensive. Guess he would flip out over Dior.
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 19
High maintenance woman
Posted: 8/31/2009 11:58:46 AM
I always thought that high maintenance would be someone who always expects you to spend a lot of money on them, I never really thought about it in the emotional sense. I can admit that I am "high maintenance" with myself (I'm a big spender), but I never expect anyone else to foot the bill, and I actually tend to be more generous with people I do care about (I've always spoiled my boyfriends).
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 20
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High maintenance woman
Posted: 8/31/2009 12:03:17 PM
I tend to think that they are women (or men, not like women have the corner on this) who spend more time & money on themselves than it's worth. I mean if you take a lot of time and money to look a certain way (and that does not mean you will look good, you may end up looking like a Halloween costume winner) then you are high maintenance no matter if it's a woman and hundreds of dollars worth of make up or a man shaving from head to toe everyday, if you take that much time to make up a whole new person out of your natural self, then you are high maintenance. Whether or not it works for you or others find it attractive, is up for grabs. There's no right or wrong, it's not my business what someone else does to get ready to face the world, even if I disagree with their need to do so.

Hell it takes me a good hour to shower and dress even though when I'm done I look like I hopped out of bed and threw on my clothes. So I look low maintenance and take high maintenance time, that sucks.
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 22
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High maintenance woman
Posted: 8/31/2009 12:15:17 PM

We all buy things as impulses ON OCCASION...but the high maintenance type does it ALL THE TIME. I mean, $200 for a f*cking haircut?! That's half a f*cking car payment for Christ sake. FOOD for one for 2 weeks to a month! And they spend it on their f*cking HAIR?!

So. If she has the money, what does it matter what she spends it on? Is it any different than a man golfing 2 times a week? If she is eating, her rent is paid, and she has no debt, who are you to judge what she does as ridiculous? Just because it is something that has no interest to you, that doesnt make it bad or wrong.
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 23
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High maintenance woman
Posted: 8/31/2009 12:43:32 PM
A high maintenance woman is always in the shop.
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 24
High maintenance woman
Posted: 8/31/2009 1:10:56 PM
Well, *I* dated a high-maintenance MAN. It means to me that he's more trouble than he's worth, that I had to walk on eggshells around him, and accede to his every whim-- otherwise he'd pout or get all depressed. He was a real downer, too--"I have no friends" (what the hell was *I*?!), "I miss California" blah blah blah

He still doesn't know why I stopped seeing him.
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 25
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High maintenance woman
Posted: 8/31/2009 1:25:18 PM

I am asking what it means to you?

From a functional viewpoint it means she will hardly ever be found anywhere which isn't paved over. (And, no, walking on the grass at the park or going to the beach doesn't count).

Beyond that it's just a matter of degrees.
Joined: 7/16/2009
Msg: 26
High maintenance woman
Posted: 8/31/2009 2:01:52 PM
YOU cannot judge what she should spend on from YOUR LIFE..

OP..I could not agree with you more. I personally think these things (the hair, nails,closthes,shoes, etc) are inconsequential and I get my self-esteem from within...and honestly when I think of so much money (know one person who pays 500.00 plus to straighten her absolutely gorgeous, curly hair--that many women would pay big bucks to have ,'s all pointless to me..cicero said something about material wealth that extends to your physical self as well.. "To be content with what one has is the greatest and truest of riches")...anyway, when I think of such exhorbinant spending, I can't help but think of my local homeless shelter or how it could go toward wishes for kids with life threatening illnesses at make a wish. Not to say I don't splurge on stuff sometimes..I drive a nice car.. but I work hard for my money and its awd is very practical for as much mountain driving as I do , especially in the winter. And my tattoos are expensive..and I guess some would see that as completley unneccessary.
While I will throw my hair up in curlers & put on a dress to go out ,it takes me 20-30 minutes to get ready for a special occasion, less normally..I just can't see spending my life in front of a mirror, obsessing. Usually, I roll the windows down & open my sunroof..voilla..3 season hair dryer =) And I keep pony tails on my gear shift in a pinch. I do wish I could figure out how to beat helmet head when I ride though..but I won't be losing any sleep over it =) It's all good though; to each their own.

So, I think you're right...we really can't judge.
But life is toooo damn short to be high maintenance or to be stuck with someone who is high maintenance imho. Peace =) K
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 27
High maintenance woman
Posted: 8/31/2009 2:30:42 PM
Someone who spends more time and effort trying to be or look like what and who they are not! Always trying to out do everyone else, wether its the hair, nails, house, car, golf clubs, boat, 4 wheeler or whatever.

Im a plain jane so to speak. I dont wear alot of make-up or go get my hair done, I have ONE luxury that I worked very hard for.... but I dont flaunt it and I think THAT is part of the "high maintenance" mentality.

Men and women can be high maintenance, why do most just refer to the woman?

High maintenance mentally (problematic).... NOT an option, so to me it's irrelevant.
High maintenance mentally (intellegent conversation and communication) WONDERFUL!
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 28
High maintenance woman
Posted: 8/31/2009 2:44:16 PM
I think secretly every man wants a 'high maintenance woman', but admitting it is like admitting to his parents he seeks a whore in bed for a wife.
Joined: 5/5/2009
Msg: 31
High maintenance woman
Posted: 8/31/2009 3:08:44 PM
I like that car analogy, give me the old Series II Landrover over the newer chrome plated ones everyday,

You can get a great idea of what high maintenance is if you go to one of those web sites, you know the ones, suga dad this or that, read some of those posts!
 *Just Jim*
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 32
High maintenance woman
Posted: 8/31/2009 4:12:20 PM
A.S. is said,
Guess that means I'm a clunker ..

But when that old clucker goes past 30 years of age that old clunker you'll have, will be a classic! lol go figure..
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 33
High maintenance woman
Posted: 8/31/2009 4:26:48 PM
{Since when have you seen a millionare with a homely, mousy woman?}

That would be yesterday when I cleaned their house...ok so maybe she wasnt "mousy" but she sure is homely! and a very sweet lady.
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 34
High maintenance woman
Posted: 9/4/2009 7:45:26 PM
Without digging into the emotionally high maintenance, I just want to gripe about the physical high maintenance.

I've been seeing this nerdy genius. I think he's absolutely adorable but quite frankly he is not mainstream society's idea of a pretty man. I wont go into details because I find him charming, fascinating and just absolutely cute.

The thing that bugs me, is that I still have to be a hottie even if I choose to date a nerd.

Why does he get to be the charming nutty professor and I still have to pull off the tired old superbabe routine?

It's not about how much money I spend on my appearance, it's about the time and effort involved and the fact that he gets to be his wonderful, weathered, disheveled self and yet he still needs me to keep up appearances.

I missed a pedicure. My toenail polish was chipping and worn. The man said something about it. I'm not kidding!
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 36
High maintenance woman
Posted: 9/4/2009 8:14:03 PM
Did he complain, admonish, or just notice and remark like he pays attention to the details of your appearance, or was it the kind of ribbing that men forget women will take the wrong way, that men do to each other affectionately?

He said it in a sort of "Eww" way. He didn't actually make an "ew" sound, but he might as well have.
On more than one occasion he has said something about my previously "pretty feet."
They weren't all that pretty on that particular day.
I dunno, maybe he's hiding a foot fetish.

Guys here's a clue: PRETTY takes time, effort and money. Not all of us roll out of bed looking like 19 year old models. In fact, MOST of us DONT.
It takes more effort with each passing year.

Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 37
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High maintenance woman
Posted: 9/4/2009 8:15:49 PM
Is it really all about the shoes, makeup and clothes that defines high maintenance? I say whatever you can afford is OK- if you can't afford it find something you can. Hint ladies- most guys don't care what brand your wearing-unless its bankrupting them- they just care about whats in them.

But for me- a high maintenance women is all about being insecure, relying on superficial things to make her secure, becoming unglued when the smallest obstacle presents itself requires attention 24/7. They can become a bottomless emotional pit that no amount of comfort can fill after a while. It can be draining.

I don't think anyone male or female wants that- but if it looks good enough they may put up with it for a while.
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