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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Is being added as a favorite an invitation to e-mail?      Home login  
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 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 6
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Is being added as a favorite an invitation to e-mail?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
^^^^ I think someone has to have looked at your profile in order to add you as favorite, as that's where the button to do such a thing is located (at the bottom). They could have had their own profile set in stealth mode so they can look at profiles without the viewee having it show up on their Viewed Me page.

<div class="quote">Wait...people have added you as a favorite, and then not replied to emails you've sent? That's a bit creepy.
I think I might have got that topped... got added as a favorite - can't email her due to her age restrictions - and so had sorta thought an email from her might be forthcoming, but weeks/months have now gone by without one. So at least in this case being added as a favorite was not an invitation to an e-mail. No way to know what it was about.

Maybe not exactly creepy, but kinda weird.
 callmelori
Joined: 12/3/2008
Msg: 9
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Is being added as a favorite an invitation to e-mail?
Posted: 9/1/2009 12:55:55 PM
missainva typed...
"I was wondering why anyone would add me as a favorite and not e-mail me? "

I'd have to say, when my profile was visible, most of the men who added me as a favorite didn't email me. I figured it was just some weird thing. Periodically, I'd go remove myself from everyone's favorites. I figure why be on someone's list who never contacted me. I don't think the onus to make initial contact (email) is on the person who was added, but rather on the person who did the adding. :)
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 10
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Is being added as a favorite an invitation to e-mail?
Posted: 9/1/2009 1:05:57 PM
I'm running of to add everyone on this thread as a favorite, and see how many emails I have in the morning!

OP - I would think it could be a subtle hello from a girl too "shy" to write first...or maybe a bookmark for putting you down as a possibility.

If you write and they don't respond - yes, that is kind of weird, but such is life!
 myrgth
Joined: 8/15/2009
Msg: 15
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Is being added as a favorite an invitation to e-mail?
Posted: 9/2/2009 5:02:12 AM
Now that they have taken the quick link off of the bottom of my profile, I don't even notice it. I would have no idea if someone added me as a favorite because I haven't looked to see where that info is now.

Before, when it was on profile, I did email a person or two who had favorited me and they never responded. Yeah, it's strange. So I just deleted them. Haha, then within a week or two they would favorite me again.

I have never favorited a person.

The whole favorites thing is just weird. People find it useful, so yay for them. I don't, so I just ignore it and fortunately with the change POF did I can even more easily now.
 itechman63
Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 16
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Is being added as a favorite an invitation to e-mail?
Posted: 9/2/2009 10:24:40 AM
They like you but they don't like you like you.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 18
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Is being added as a favorite an invitation to e-mail?
Posted: 9/2/2009 10:51:01 AM
anyone who ever added me to their favs, always either emailed me or repleyed to an email I sent . adding someone and not communicating is weird
 BigBee77
Joined: 4/14/2009
Msg: 19
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Is being added as a favorite an invitation to e-mail?
Posted: 9/2/2009 10:51:52 AM
I would reply. Why wouldn't I! If a woman has me listed as a favorite, I would assume something about my profile intrigued her. But most of the time, I get put on favorites lists AFTER I have some sort of online conversation with them. So most of the time, I know it's genuine.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 21
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Is being added as a favorite an invitation to e-mail?
Posted: 9/2/2009 2:45:30 PM
I don't email or check their profiles if I get a notice someone added me as a favorite. I figure if they want to contact me, they know how to do it. I don't have any filters that would screen anyone out.

I only recently started a list of "favorites" and it has to do with people who posted things in the forums that I found interesting. I like to check now & again to see what they are posting.

I'll sometimes check the profile of someone who has posted in the forums. Maybe I'm checking to see how old they are, if it isn't obvious, because that might have some relevance. Or I'm just trying to get a sense of what kind of person they seem to be.

I don't know what others do, but that's what I do.

If you don't have any expectations, you won't have any disappointments. Being here is not different than in life. Most of the folks you meet are okay as people but not what you're looking for.
 lemming3k13
Joined: 8/21/2009
Msg: 22
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Is being added as a favorite an invitation to e-mail?
Posted: 9/3/2009 11:52:17 AM
I'd say it's an invitation. I only add people to my favourites when I have to rush off and don't have time to think about composing a message at that moment. Sadly whatever I go off and end up doing completely distracts me, and as I result I seem to have people on my favourites I've never messaged. I should probably go check them out again now while I remember.
 Motherofthebride
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 24
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Is being added as a favorite an invitation to e-mail?
Posted: 9/4/2009 9:42:22 PM
yes, it's an on line wink or glance across the room
 thwipp89
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 25
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Is being added as a favorite an invitation to e-mail?
Posted: 9/4/2009 11:13:52 PM
i got tired of typing out thoughtful emails to women i was interested in and rarely getting a reply, so for the most part, i just add them as a fave to let them know they caught my eye. if they're interested in me, aswell, they'll probably send an email.
 blonderoses1
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 27
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Is being added as a favorite an invitation to e-mail?
Posted: 9/5/2009 6:33:12 AM
Hi there. For one thing, I know that I won't make initial contact because I like the old ideal of man chasing woman. LOL. So, if someone is viewing you a lot, that may be the reason. Or sometimes, I find if I rotate pictures, they think it's another person, of course, and they view again. No harm done.

Also, thumbnail pics are SO small, that you can't tell what someone looks like until you view them. (and then it's too late to back out if you don't like their true look, or if you notice you've viewed them before...)

After reading your post, I checked who had me as faves. Out of the 99 men, I counted only 8 that actually emailed me at any point. I'm figuring that they either lived too far and just book marked me, or my witty style just dazzled them so much that they wanted to read it again one day. With only 8 of them writing, I think it's the latter. He's just not that into me!! ;)

There are a few that I wish would write to me, but I am a little too gunshy to make a move, plus, ya know, the whole old fashioned ideal I mentioned.

I don't think adding someone as a fave is necessarily an open invite to write them, just as viewing someone doesn't mean write them, either. You can't SEE someone by the small pic and you have to click on it, and once you have, even if you do like what you see, you don't necessarily like their profile, have anything in common, or even FIT their profile's restrictions for emailing.

Oh, go ahead and email any woman...ONCE you read her profile and fit what she is looking for. No one will bop you in the head with a 2 X 4, you'll just get a no thanks, or delete, etc. No harm done. Better to try. Wish ya lots of luck!! Have a great day.
 ileft
Joined: 4/25/2008
Msg: 30
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Is being added as a favorite an invitation to e-mail?
Posted: 9/5/2009 9:00:54 AM
You would think being added as a favourite would mean you have spoken to the person for a whiel have a bit of a raport with them and that you might wanna meet in the future. I have people who have added me as a favourite and I have never spoken to them so i don't really know what that's all about. In my case those I have added I have given them my msn.
 synct
Joined: 1/19/2009
Msg: 31
Is being added as a favorite an invitation to e-mail?
Posted: 9/5/2009 9:29:26 AM
I add a woman as a favorite as a bookmark, to come back to and potentially email. I may not have time to send a message now, but I might later. On some, I don't think I may get a response, so I just leave it there.

With the ones that Favorite me, I will typically email and mostly get responses. There IS that thing about women wanting men to chase them, and I think Favoriting someone is a good way to make that request.

Of course, the ones who favorite you and then don't response I think are nutty, and I may take them off my favorites list.

That's my 2c.
 beautifuldancer400
Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 34
Is being added as a favorite an invitation to e-mail?
Posted: 9/7/2009 4:35:07 PM
Since POF doesn't have a way to wink or flirt I've used this as a subtle hint for some men. A few have emailed me and I've met a couple for coffee. So I guess it depends on the person who adds you. Also, think about what you say in that first email. That might make or break the deal.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 36
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Is being added as a favorite an invitation to e-mail?
Posted: 9/8/2009 12:20:32 PM
yes if i add someone to my favorites its an invitation for first contact , often there are restrictions like 75k m, which is silly i am looking to relocate
 RadioMark
Joined: 9/26/2006
Msg: 40
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Is being added as a favorite an invitation to e-mail?
Posted: 9/8/2009 4:57:41 PM

I've searched the forums but didn't find a thread on this topic. For those of you that have e-mailed people that added you as a favorite, did they all reply? Being added as a "favorite" and having a lot of views without e-mails has got to be the most frustrating part of the POF experience.


I'd be happier with more than 2 views a day, and at least one response to an email a week. I can count the number of times I've been added to a favorite list on one hand over three months. And no, contacting the one of them that was remotely appealing got no response either.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 43
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Is being added as a favorite an invitation to e-mail?
Posted: 9/9/2009 8:49:10 PM
Adding someone is an invitation in and of itself to open that possibility of knowing each other better.

I much prefer to have those that add me, also send me a short email letting me know why they have, and open that door to inviting me in, which will happen on some level if they try.

There is no reason not to have more friends, and if the connection is a good one, much much more........so, I say, go for it and let me know that you want to get to know me much better, and I will follow through.....if you do.......

Just my opinion.........
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 49
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Is being added as a favorite an invitation to e-mail?
Posted: 9/14/2009 10:21:33 PM
The favorites list doesnt mean anything. Most of the people who have added me as their favorite, havent said a single word to me. So, what is it? Wishful thinking----that I will get down on my knees and thank them, and start up a rapport with them? Is adding as a favorite, the new first step in online dating?
 BigBee77
Joined: 4/14/2009
Msg: 58
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Is being added as a favorite an invitation to e-mail?
Posted: 9/17/2009 9:44:52 PM
I'm laughing at everyone overanalyzing this topic. The favorites list really don't mean shit to me. If I am interested in someone I will message them regardless of whether they put me in favorites or not. I honestly have NEVER put no one in my favorites list. If I come across their profile and I'm interested, I let it be known right then. All they can do is respond or not.
 tea2001
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 61
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Is being added as a favorite an invitation to e-mail?
Posted: 4/3/2011 5:50:06 AM
Shortly after I joined POF, I tried to email another member whose profile I found contained many common interests as mine. The email was however blocked due to her age restrictions (I one year older then she allowed, 5 year older then her) so I added her as a favorite, thinking that if she read my profile she might initiate contact. To date, I don't think she even looked at my profile.
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 63
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Is being added as a favorite an invitation to e-mail?
Posted: 4/3/2011 9:44:02 AM
if someone adds me, i read his profile and see if there's anything there that piques my interest. if so, i send an email.

sometimes i've found the email deleted and i'm suddenly NOT on someone's favourites list any more!



other times we've gone on to meet.

most of the people who add me to favourites without contacting me first are people who can't contact me due to my filters. like the men who click on "Meet Me", they're heavily skewed toward smokers - and i'm allergic.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 66
Is being added as a favorite an invitation to e-mail?
Posted: 4/3/2011 6:49:36 PM
When someone adds me to their favorites, they're making the first overture in my opinion, therefore I think it's an open invitation to message them. If they happen to have any mail restrictions in place, e.g. age or distance restrictions, they're nullified when my profile is added to their favorites---thus opening up the channels of communication.

In my case, not all the people that added me to their favorites did so for friendly reasons. I encountered one or two individuals whose motive was harrassment and/or tracking/stalking. Fortunately, there's a deterrent one can use if the harrassment gets out of hand---it's called a "negative testimonial".
 valleyguyaz
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 70
Is being added as a favorite an invitation to e-mail?
Posted: 4/24/2011 1:27:39 AM
i may be different than most people on plenty of fish.i use my favorites list as a folder where i keep the profiles of anyone i have contacted or plan on contacting.i sometimes will save profiles of those i can't contact because of message restrictions in the hope that they will contact me first.

there are so many profiles on this dating site that it only makes since to use the favorites list this way.until the powers that be decide to add a different way to keep profiles that are important to me i will continue doing this.another option is to call the favorites list something else so that it has a name that better describes its purpose.
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 73
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Is being added as a favorite an invitation to e-mail?
Posted: 4/24/2011 5:02:45 AM
When I first got on here, I would add someone as a favorite, hoping to look at their profile later on, as I had limited time, and not sure of what I was doing.

I got a couple of messages that really slammed me for not contacting them after adding these women as favorites, so now I don't, unless I have become friends with them.

I have had a few people add me as a favorite, and have sent them a quick message, thanking them with nothing in return. I don't think much of that "feature", unless we exchange a few emails and (shrugging shoulders) either hit it off, or decide to become friends..whatever.

I don't put much stock in a simple click of a mouse..not meaning that in a demeaning way.
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