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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Why Girls want a Relationship much more attach After Sex with a Guy n      Home login  
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 A-Womans-Best-Friend
Joined: 7/29/2009
Msg: 1
Why Girls want a Relationship much more attach After Sex with a Guy no matter his faults?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I searched and searched this question hasn’t been ask before if it has tell me were so I can read it please and I am sure this is the best place to post it. Also I think it kind explains why girls fall for jerks & players who are more aggressive in getting a girl in bed.

So out of about 50-100 or so girls I dated in my life only the 5 I had sex with after the 2nd-4th date turned into committed relationships, the rest all had some excuse not to see me anymore.

Even when I dated a few who I had allot in common with and had great chemistry with, liked each other so much and did everything but sex including sleeping together naked and fouling around. But I held out on having sex for several dates and we agreed to be committed, tell everyone else we were in a relationship and about to make plans to go away somewhere romantic and have sex. When they change their mind a few days before the deed, because she got cold feet, needed figuring out if she really wanted to be in a relationship or not and if I was the right guy for her, then making up any excuse not to see me anymore.

When a girl is dating a guy and it starts to get serious will she evaluate and over think everything that could happen with him to see if he is her perfect match and should she go the whole 9 yards and commit to only him, then save him the heart break and end it before it gets to serious, if she has any doubt at all?

90% of the time the girl I am dating will find some small thing I did wrong during the dating process, or worse her friends say something bad about me, because I wasn’t amazing enough to impress them. I could dress badly or to good, I could of said something that put her off, I could be to quite or to talkative, there are 1000s of things that she might think that makes me not good enough to be her boyfriend.

But when I have Sex with her any flaws I have will not matter and I am no longer on probation, then I can easily form a committed relationship and almost anything I do is forgivable. It’s like a certain switch goes off in a woman’s brain after sex with a guy, her brain chemistry is changed to have strong feelings for the guy she just slept with.

I have never had a committed relationship before sex, even if the girl asked me for a commitment and to be a couple before sex she changes her mind shortly after.

So if I want a committed relationship with a girl I really like do I have to seduce her in to bed to get a relationship?

If I don’t go all the way will she think twice and stop seeing me because she will think she will have to go through with it the next time she sees me and will evaluate the relationship?

Please tell me your experiences with how attach a girl was to a guy after sex compared to before.
 A-Womans-Best-Friend
Joined: 7/29/2009
Msg: 2
Why Girls want a Relationship much more attach After Sex with a Guy no matter his faults?
Posted: 9/4/2009 11:14:28 AM
Oh how I wish I had the ability to pick any woman I thought was a good catch who is ready for a relationship, single without hang ups or worries that I am not a good enough guy for her and not get rejected by such a woman. I really don't think I have the energy to date 100s of other women to find 1 like that. that wants me for me, pickings are slim and I need to figure out a better way.

So to answer my other question if I find a girl who is almost perfect because no one is should I keep the dating casual so she doesn't think it is getting serious and go through all her doubts in her head that will kill any chance of a real relationship until I can seduce her into bed, go all the way so she will want me as much as I want her?
 A-Womans-Best-Friend
Joined: 7/29/2009
Msg: 3
Why Girls want a Relationship much more attach After Sex with a Guy no matter his faults?
Posted: 9/4/2009 11:54:57 AM
That’s what I usually do take things slowly actually tell the girl to slow down when we are making out and I am not that sexual I prefer to wait months if I could, I am very old fashioned like that but women today who have more options don't follow through when I am a gentleman and wait until I think we are both ready to take the next step to being a couple.

So can anyone prove or disprove my statement with their experiences?

Anecdotes are amusing tell some for your dating stores where you wait a long time or didn't wait hardly at all and what was the results?
 A-Womans-Best-Friend
Joined: 7/29/2009
Msg: 4
Why Girls want a Relationship much more attach After Sex with a Guy no matter his faults?
Posted: 9/4/2009 12:52:40 PM
A lot of women have experienced being dumped right after "the deed is done" so they are hesitant to do it too soon

Well that means the odds are against me, that even though I'm a exception I am still judged with all the other guys who just want sex. So when I date a women she will be very cautious when dating me, testing me out, seeing if there is anything wrong and if I show the slightest sign (red flag). That maybe I'm a player because a friend happened to call me during the date (now I turn off my phone) or I'm a jerk because I wasn't very friendly to one of her guy friends I didn't know (says I gave him a dirty look, though I'm not a jealous guy) thoughts are reason I got for not seeing me again.

Thus the longer I see them with how picky girls are today and easily dismissive they are for the smallest thing during the dating process until of course we all ways have great sex, never had a complaint a hour or more at a time. Which is a catch 22 because the girl wants to wait to have sex and the longer we wait the greater the chances are that we break-up.

I never seduce girls to go to bed I have more integrity than that and fairly attractive and honest enough the girl I date is all over me in a few dates, I think I am a hopeless romantic and usually do romantic escalades during dates. I just want to know should I really do my best to have sex earlier if I want it to work out?
 soflnighteagle
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 5
Why Girls want a Relationship much more attach After Sex with a Guy no matter his faults?
Posted: 9/4/2009 6:42:05 PM
I know just how you feel, at work the other day one of the guys said he uses his sales techniques to pick up women, and I started wondering if that was a good thing or a bad thing. If we have to seduce a woman or convince a woman to be with us, do we really want her? Wouldn't it be nicer to build a relationship slowly over time and wait for sex until there is a strong emotional bond? I agree that waiting a few months and really getting to know each other is the best way to go, but it does seem that if you wait to long they start looking for someone else. Yet they are the ones complaining that the only thing men want is sex, go figure. I've come to the conclusion that no matter what you do women won't be happy, it is like my son said; "How do you know if you're doing something wrong? If she sees you, you're doing something wrong." It's funny but it also seems to be true, no matter what you do it won't be the right thing. Try to get sex right away and you're a dog, don't try right away and you're a prude.
 mcwr
Joined: 3/24/2009
Msg: 6
Why Girls want a Relationship much more attach After Sex with a Guy no matter his faults?
Posted: 9/4/2009 8:43:05 PM

So to answer my other question if I find a girl who is almost perfect because no one is should I keep the dating casual so she doesn't think it is getting serious and go through all her doubts in her head that will kill any chance of a real relationship until I can seduce her into bed, go all the way so she will want me as much as I want her?


Since you want to wait, have you tried meeting women at church? There are still girls that want to wait for marriage. Don't expect to find many in a bar.
 winteragain
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 7
Why Girls want a Relationship much more attach After Sex with a Guy no matter his faults?
Posted: 9/4/2009 8:44:21 PM
you could try dating chicks that have traditional values instead of corner market bimbos that give it up easily for some lovely LTR's because believe it or not, there are actually girls that remain virgins until they get married. sounds like you should go for that, but if ya don't then good luck having to look around for a realllllyyy long time
 Blakkardaberry
Joined: 2/7/2009
Msg: 8
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Why Girls want a Relationship much more attach After Sex with a Guy no matter his faults?
Posted: 9/4/2009 8:44:39 PM
I have to say, I myself have experienced the same kind of thing and to me it seems the prevailing attitude in my area. It seems there are more than a few predatory women in the world that try to p whoop you into a relationship .

There is only one problem with that kind of scenario and that is that it can backfire. I generally feel like I have to wait to know someone before having sex because if I don't it can get ugly real fast. I have not had sex with as many women as you have not by a long shot. I tend to be very selective who I date because of this issue. The relationship I have had average 3 to 5 years and seem to be getting longer term so maybe I am getting better at picking.

My advice is to be selective and take it slow and maybe you will get lucky this time. I also agree with Ice-ey9 I don't think I could commit to a relationship long or short term with someone that I had not been intimate with.
 A-Womans-Best-Friend
Joined: 7/29/2009
Msg: 9
Why Girls want a Relationship much more attach After Sex with a Guy no matter his faults?
Posted: 9/6/2009 5:37:25 AM
All your advice is great but not proving anything, I need Anecdotal Evidence of a curtain number of women a guy has dated and slept with that yield more interest from a girl to the ones that showed less interest.

Also any ladies answer in all honesty please figure out a couple of guys you slept with that you want more after sex compared to the number that you didn't want after, no matter if the guy didn't want you did you want him more after sex?

This is a fairly simple question to ask;
"Do Most Women want and interested the Majority of guys they have Sex with More than they did before the deed?"

I can't make it any clearer than that. I should get answers YES or NO and why because I was with # of women and they did this after or I was with # of guys and I did this after.
 Randominternetguy
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 10
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Why Girls want a Relationship much more attach After Sex with a Guy no matter his faults?
Posted: 9/6/2009 1:26:55 PM
Just to follow up on CaramelSweetness2 post;

Oxytocin (the bonding chemical) is released in both males a females during sex. In addition, it is also released in women when their breasts are stimulated.

Estrogen amplifies it's effect, testosterone represses it. Not that any particular person has to respond one way or another, but women are more prone, and men less prone, to bond after sex.

Vasopressin is linked to commitment among males. There is a gene who's presence or absense is correlated to commitment minded males. Again, it's not destiny or fate, but does make a male more or less likely to commit.

That's the data part. As always, it's the conclusions that are in disagreement.

Bob

P.S. The breast stimulation effect is believed to help women bond with their newborns when they are breastfeeding.
 A-Womans-Best-Friend
Joined: 7/29/2009
Msg: 11
Why Girls want a Relationship much more attach After Sex with a Guy no matter his faults?
Posted: 2/15/2010 7:22:17 AM
What I'm all for courtship that’s what I been doing for the last 15 years and being friends first only gets you a friend and nothing more has why I am looking for friends.

Geez girl how about wanting a romantic relationship with a friend who is interested in you.

Free key you and I have different intentions because I am not looking for sex at all the relationship and using sex as a means of getting that relationship is my goal.

Because Foreplay is my Forte I always have give her the best sex either clitoral (oral humming while the clit works every time) and inner thy, pelvic and G-spot massages at te same time usually makes them squirt.

But oddly enough oral and massage orgasms don't really trigger a woman’s bonding drive as much as Intercourse without a orgasm because they can't t pregnant from the other methods of sex that have the philological history of "Oh crap I might be pregnant, I must make sure we stay together" even when wearing a condom will still give a biological trigger to want a relationship.
 Strider886
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 12
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Why Girls want a Relationship much more attach After Sex with a Guy no matter his faults?
Posted: 2/15/2010 7:22:44 AM

90% of the time the girl I am dating will find some small thing I did wrong during the dating process, or worse her friends say something bad about me, because I wasn’t amazing enough to impress them. I could dress badly or to good, I could of said something that put her off, I could be to quite or to talkative, there are 1000s of things that she might think that makes me not good enough to be her boyfriend.


Why can't some of you realise this simple fact........

A woman's best friends are your worst enemy!!! It doesn't matter how great you are, everything you do and say will be analysed and twisted around until your the spawn of Satan!

On the sex thing... Not sure what you goin on about, but sex the act itself it's natures way of bonding a couple together, that's why men/women cheat and sexless relationships fall apart... Because without sex you often lose intimacy and affection altogether.
 A-Womans-Best-Friend
Joined: 7/29/2009
Msg: 13
Why Girls want a Relationship much more attach After Sex with a Guy no matter his faults?
Posted: 2/15/2010 7:37:18 AM
^^^Yeh I might be the spawn of Satan for just being myself.

If you like to know my current dating success this Valentine's Day I exchanged gifts with a girl who I clicked with almost immediately and she deleted her PoF account shortly after dating, mostly because the guys messaging her sending stupid sexy messages, and found I was different and contacts me several times a day.
 A-Womans-Best-Friend
Joined: 7/29/2009
Msg: 14
Why Girls want a Relationship much more attach After Sex with a Guy no matter his faults?
Posted: 2/15/2010 8:13:17 AM
I am sorry you got that impression of me from experience with men who have no morals, but I misused the term seduce and it has a mostly negative meaning to it but when my intentions are nothing BUT the best of the future has to offer meaning marriage and a total respectful caring relationship is the means to the end really that wrong?
 A-Womans-Best-Friend
Joined: 7/29/2009
Msg: 15
Why Girls want a Relationship much more attach After Sex with a Guy no matter his faults?
Posted: 2/15/2010 9:42:02 PM
^^^ Nope just been in LTR for years and took up most of my single life sorry that I don't try to fuxk everything I can, I guess I'm just not a horny jerk.

SEX isn't important TO ME, but important to the WOMEN to bond with, blame nature for that survival and reproduction instinct.

PLZ try to understand what I am explaining before you assume anything, proof and knowledge is needed to make your points valid not speculations.
 farscapeprincess
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 16
Why Girls want a Relationship much more attach After Sex with a Guy no matter his faults?
Posted: 2/16/2010 7:53:53 AM
OP asked: "Do Most Women want and interested the Majority of guys they have Sex with More than they did before the deed?"

Your question is badly structured, but I'm going to give it a go:

I don't know about the majority of women because every woman is different, but I know I did. It's true, at least for me, that orgasms lead to bonding with the guy, I want more time with said guy. It's the oxytocin which is that bonding hormone at work. I was reading this in a book just yesterday and I'm sure there are studies on this, too. This is the same hormone that promotes bonding with a newborn. It's released during breastfeeding and it's released during mind-blowing sex.

Now in the instances when I didn't want "more" it was because the sex wasn't all that great or just not "feeling it" with the guy. There is a thread from someone who said that she didn't feel the spark with a certain guy when she kissed him. So I guess you could say that spark and passion must be there before sex enters the equation. Otherwise, it just becomes meaningless sex.

I don't know if this is what you're getting at, but it's my interpretation of the question.
 A-Womans-Best-Friend
Joined: 7/29/2009
Msg: 17
Why Girls want a Relationship much more attach After Sex with a Guy no matter his faults?
Posted: 2/16/2010 11:45:11 AM
Thanks farscapeprincess that answered my question perfectly even though the question was convoluted you nailed it pretty good, pardon the pun and the point about having chemistry and spark before sex is also a good point because I notice when a girl has a adrenalin rush from doing something fun and wild on a date to get the blood pumping she seems to also have the same reaction as sex while dating.

The reason why this thread is so important to me is because this happens allot when a man tries his very best for months to get a relationship with the girl of his dreams just to get the rug pulled out from under him, such as this post in Ask a Guy Forum recently.

"Guys, would this upset you??"

About a great guy who did everything right and the girl really liked him BUT after 3 months with no sex she sees the relationship is becoming to serious and pulls away before the bond is formed emotionally for her.
 Doingthisagaingladly
Joined: 6/18/2011
Msg: 18
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Why Girls want a Relationship much more attach After Sex with a Guy no matter his faults?
Posted: 8/1/2012 1:10:57 PM

I know exactly what that's like.

I'm definately not looking for any relationship and I always make that abundantly clear to any woman I decide to meet for mutual "adult fun".

However I do find that women though they say one thing with their mouth the reality is different.

Women almost certainly will feel a bond if really good sex is involved.

By good sex I mean those sensual sessions with lots of kissing and gentle touches and massage bringing her to orgasm after orgasm.

After that you are bombarded with emails and txt messages about how wonderful it was and how they're falling for you.

You want to see the woman again but you are very aware that you could be building her perceptions about where this is going.


Interesting! I thought they liked the sex? too? Okay then, now I know. :)
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 19
Why Girls want a Relationship much more attach After Sex with a Guy no matter his faults?
Posted: 8/6/2012 9:00:03 PM
if you show confidence in yourself enough to take that initiative, and actually make a move to have sex with a woman, then back up that confidence by rocking her world completely, she WILL get attached.
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