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 Giantrican
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 1
At what age do you Just Give Up?Page 1 of 38    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38)
I am in my early 30s and I guess I have thought about this for a long time, what do you do when you are pushing 40 do you give up on starting a family? I know a lot of the ladies are having kids later on in life but serious I mean do you want to be in your 60s take care of a teenage child? When does the pickiness End, and you start thinking about really settling down with the Right Person or Do you Just Give Up? Your thoughts on this issue?
 SuperFunGuy
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 2
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/4/2009 7:26:38 PM
Maybe when the dinosaurs start roaming around the earth once again.
 twistee
Joined: 5/6/2009
Msg: 3
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/4/2009 7:46:05 PM
Your in your early 30's I had always said if I didn't have kids by the time I was 30 I wouldnt have them but now I have 3 and I love them I'm 36 yrs My ex is 56 yrs and our youngest child is three yrs I think if you find the right one it doesn't matter how old you are as long as you care, provide and love them age doesn't matter where have you been looking for women I hope not in the bars or night clubs try the laundry mat there's always women in there would you consider going with someone who already has a kid It's an idea and at least she'd already knows what lies ahead and can help you dealing with the change of lifestyle
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 4
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/4/2009 8:51:08 PM
Twistee, what i find intresting is that the father of your kids is your EX already... You mentioned 30 and then 36 so at the most you two been togher for 6 years. Dont take it wrong im not trying to be an A** but i think the main problems is that most of the time it never lasts. I would do my best to never have kids unless i feel 200% that it would last... I guess thats one reason i dont have kids yet and as im here on POF i guess i were right as well about the women i dated.
As about giving up you can do that any time you feel like it. But dont forget you can change your mind later on and start looking again.
 figaro
Joined: 8/8/2009
Msg: 5
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/4/2009 9:15:08 PM
I am really surprised that there are so many men out there that want to be married and have kids, but haven't found the "right person". It seems like we are now in a time period of male and female role reversal. Anyhow-have you ever considered adoption? You could even adopt an older child or teenager. You could be a foster parent and see how that suits you.
 Giantrican
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 6
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/4/2009 10:02:14 PM
I dont mind a woman to have a kid, I actually would prefer it a bit I find a lot of ladies that have children to take care of are a lot more honest in there wants out of life. I just see lately its not getting any better. I am giving myself 2 more years if I dont marry or start a family in that time I will get the Vasectomy, and just be a chronic dater and let the cards fall where they may....
 Giantrican
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 7
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/4/2009 10:06:12 PM
Wow, you cant give up on dating you are 29 just the guys you are looking for and you want arent around the corner. You still have loads of time ahead of you keep your head up hun, you will find the right guy I believe that. But I also think that we are all too picky, all I want is to just fall in love with the right one woman...No more BS or Games just someone to be real with everday....
 renoirs_dream
Joined: 5/2/2009
Msg: 8
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/4/2009 11:42:23 PM
Guyd42 has it about right... lol

If you want Kids then consider ADOPTING!!! they need love! They need to have a safe home!

Women just want your money after they pop out a few it seems now adays! Adoption gives kids a real chance at life and you are their provider. That way you have no woman there to threaten you with divorce and take the kids away....

Also remember that the older a woman is more likely they are to have kids that are Autistic... Read up on it !!!

 annabella1973
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 9
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/5/2009 2:03:56 AM
Men can father children into their 80's...I think if you really wanted children, you shouldn't give up on it. I also think it's harder for women as we get older. I've given myself until 37 and at this point, it's just not gonna happen for me. But I'm ok with it.

A friend of mine just had a set of twins and one came out deformed - it's a reality as you get older - you run the risk of having something wrong with your child. Don't have children unless you're willing to be there for them.

And aside from having your own kids, there is adoption or marrying someone with kids already.
 mixy3106
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 10
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/5/2009 10:27:47 AM
I'm giving up on my next birthday (33). I could use the extra time at the gym anyway.

I'm in my early 30s and don't want kids. I've found that most of the men my age who contact me fall into 3 groups: still in their first marriages, divorced with kids, or ready to start making kids. None of those will work for me. It's not about being picky, it's about compatibility and life goals.
 Happily Ever...maybe
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 11
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/5/2009 1:15:13 PM
In my opinion, you NEVER give up on that dream of having a family. What you do have to come to terms with is the increasing likelihood that its probably not going to happen while still being open to the possibility that it could. As unfair as it might seem, for a man there really is no set physical expiration date for fatherhood until he is likely in his 70s or 80s; which means its just a matter of what you really want. Oh, and finding a willing partner of course; I'm doubtful I'd find a woman of child-bearing years who'd want a baby with me when I'm in my 60s!
 minako79
Joined: 1/15/2009
Msg: 12
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/5/2009 6:24:56 PM

that is the problem...negativity...and i know two individuals who have found their parners in their fifties...and it just happens
do not look
do your own thing
and it is going to happen
and if god wants you to be on your won...it is going to happen...take care


*Sigh* Personally, the waiting part really kills me. I rather wait for the right person to marry rather than marry the wrong person be miserable.
 TorontoWriter
Joined: 6/12/2009
Msg: 13
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/5/2009 8:38:15 PM
I didn't give up but I did move on from dating almost a year ago. I'm much less frustrated now and I think in a better place should someone cross my path I am genuinely interested in.
 RadioMark
Joined: 9/26/2006
Msg: 14
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/7/2009 12:52:33 AM
Today seems like a good day to give up. This is all proving to be pointless.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 15
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/7/2009 10:15:02 AM
First of all, I never looked at dating, love, or relationships as a business plan, so the phrase "give up" isn't one that makes a lot of sense with this topic. I don't think it's something you can seek out and hunt down - it'll cross your path and either you'll be so narrowly focused you won't see it, or you'll be open to it in your already full content happy life. As far as kids and a family go, there are a lot of kids out there that need a home, does it HAVE to be yours? And if so, what's that about?

First off, I can’t really see why and how you can afford to be so picky...

I had to address this statement. It almost sounds like based on your assessment a woman not only should be trying to pair off to some extent terminally, but that she needs to pair off with men she doesn't like just to get the task done. Neither should be true.

How'd you like to be the guy some woman didn't want but settled for because she felt she was running out of time? Your answer will explain a lot, here.

What a lot of men refuse to deal with over and over again, is that a lot of women would rather die single than date men we're not interested in. Most of us are happier single than involved with someone we aren't into. We also don't think humoring other people to entertain ourselves is a good idea for either us OR the men in question.
 NappyKAT
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 16
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/9/2009 3:30:58 AM
Women should give up once they pass that old 'trophy' age of 25. You get a grace period of 5 years after but after that you're just an old spinster who's only hope is for a 60 year old shuga daddy.

Men fair better and should give up only once they have reached 40 (35 actually, with a 5 year grace period). In your 30's your primed to marry anyone from 25-40 but after 40 people will think something is wrong with you since you're 40 and haven't been married with children.

I'm being sarcastic but this seems to be how it's playing out for real.

If you wanna get married, then just get friggin married! Who cares if marriages don't last a lifetime - why would you give up the possible happiness of being in a relationship for the seclusion and loneliness of never having had one? I believe in the old adage that is better to have lost and lost than to never have loved (or married) at all. People who get to be a certan age and pine for marriage but have never been married are just so pathetic. The older you get the higher your so-called standards get and nobody is good enough! And the ironic part of that is while nobody is good enough for you, you keep dating a$$holes to fill up the time until along comes mr or mrs right. But we all know that doesn't turn out well - you just wind up getting more disappointed thinking there is nobody out there worth your time.

I'm not saying not to have standards or preferences. You should. But at the same time it's about having fun, learning, sharing, and taking a chance.
 LovelySSBBW
Joined: 9/7/2009
Msg: 17
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/10/2009 6:28:20 AM
LOL

You should NEVER give up! There are good men and women out there who want the same things as you do, it is only a matter of putting yourself out there and daring to give people a chance. After all, look at your best friends. Are they drop-dead-gorgeous, ultra-intelligent, super-rich? No, I am sure they are not. But you love them all the same and when you are with them you do not notice their faults because you are enveloped by their personality.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 18
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/10/2009 12:16:38 PM
Why wait til 40? You can opt out at anytime with a simple proceedure and a local anesthetic.
 Taztiger72
Joined: 2/26/2008
Msg: 19
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/10/2009 1:22:49 PM

Bullcrap men want to screw women and thats it


I don't think so - that is not the whole idea. I am actually looking for someone I can talk to, understand me and have a real bond.



It's probably I am a Capricorn and a lot of us are looking for something deeper than just sex - man I don't know about you - but I am not wanting or needing sex all day long, people who are like that are Nymphomaniacs and need medication......

 grkboy
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 20
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/10/2009 1:42:08 PM
I think if you want a family and you're getting older you should seriously think about whether or not biological children are a necessity.

Plenty of attractive single moms out there, as well as adoption if it's too late.

I think people should have kids when they are ready for them. I'm still on the fence about them because I'm just not sure if I want to give up that much of my life for a family. If I want to not be able to work late, go out on weekends, travel, live it up, buy stuff I want, etc.

Some think that's a selfish way to think, but I think it's more selfish to bring children into this world when you're not really going to be a good parent to them.

If I change my mind though, I can always adopt. I don't feel that my "genetic material" makes any real difference on how a child grows up to be an adult. I believe it's how you raise them and take care of them.
 GQSunset
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 21
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/10/2009 5:21:06 PM
I think by early 30"s you give up on the pipe dreams and get more real. However you still have standards and aren't as willing to take crap, drama, or baggage like you used to just to be in a relationship. Now it's about finding something real with skills.
 Taztiger72
Joined: 2/26/2008
Msg: 22
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/11/2009 8:44:10 PM
I don't care how old I am I'll keep looking until they put the embalming fluid in me....


 GQSunset
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 23
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/19/2009 6:29:07 PM
Thanks Calientcutie,

You don't in your heart ever give up, it's like in acting, there are no small parts only small actors.

If you don't have the skills to be make your role in a relationship believable no one will stick around to watch the show.

Over 30 you have to believe in yourself and what you have to offer, you also have to have been a better person than at 20, and realize that hope is the purpose that drives us mercilessly towards achieving our dreams but only skill will make those dreams come true!
 paschen812
Joined: 8/15/2009
Msg: 24
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/20/2009 10:38:14 PM

You don't in your heart ever give up


Yup and that is why I now am asking that the desire be removed from my heart. I want to accept the fact that I will always be alone but it's can be hard when the idea of it hurts so
 ripley65
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 25
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/22/2009 6:05:09 AM
Some ppl in life are just meant to be alone, without a spouse. Where i work, i meet a surprisingly high amount of them who've never married, never had children (these are the elderly in their 70's and up). Sometimes i think that thats what my role in life is. Giving up? Eh...not necessarily giving up, just not as hopeful about it as i used to be.
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