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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > How far are you willing to go on a date?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Krystal413
Joined: 4/17/2009
Msg: 3
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How far are you willing to go on a date?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
About ten years ago, I dated a guy who lived about two hours drive away. We dated for a year and a half and when it became nothing really special, I broke it off because it is a lot of work to keep up seeing someone who lives that distance away.

Would I do it again? For the right person, maybe. It sure would be nice to find someone more local though! Dating is better when the other person is close enough to touch........
 entrepreneur08
Joined: 9/27/2008
Msg: 4
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 9/8/2009 8:22:18 PM
I met some one from here a few years ago and we dated for almost 3 yrs. She lives about 75-80 miles away depending on which route I take.. In New York traffic That was some times upto 4 hrs just to go see her.. She is in NJ...

I did most of the driving. In the begining I went every weekend and spent the weekends with her and some times I would drive at night which took like 2 1/4 hrs if no traffic at all and then drive back in the morning straight to work from her house after getting ready at her place... But it got tiring because I did most of the driving and it was also costly with gas and tolls specially when back in 2007 the gas was almost $5 a gallon in summer.... I didn't mind it but she never really appreciated it. She was a complainer and always bickered that I wasn't coming more often to see her... One you are not apprciated then it becomes a chore and a turn off so finally I had to end it after a 2 1/2 yrs of driving.. It went down to twice a month rather than every weekend. Then once a month.. I guess the only thing good was sex so probably that is why I kept doing it.. But after a while all that unappreciative attitude and complaining and bickering made it boring and sex was not worth it anymore... So I had to end it.

Now I want some one no more than 20 mins or 30 at the most.. I have done the LDR for more than 2 yrs and it got tiring. And it would be nice to find some one in the same neighborhood but no luck so far.. I chat or get messages from all these women who are 2 hrs away or 1 plus hrs away but I can't do the driving anymore. It drains your energy specially if you are not appreciated and it can drain you wallet sometimes lol....
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 5
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 9/8/2009 9:46:44 PM
Used to date a girl for 3 years and drove 72 miles each way. It wasnt easy but we seen each other atlist once a week.. before we moved to live togher. Now i wouldnt drive more then 15 max 20 miles.. In LA that might mean 45min to an hour and a half in traffic.
 friendofcanine
Joined: 3/11/2009
Msg: 6
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 9/8/2009 10:38:10 PM

15 miles


...to the LOVE SHACK!
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 8
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How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 9/9/2009 7:40:44 AM
All the way!

How far is it from Boston to Hong Kong? That's the farthest I've traveled for a date.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 9
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How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 9/9/2009 8:14:20 AM
Probably about 300 miles, comfortable driving distance one way. I wouldn't date someone that I would have to fly to, because honestly, over a year or two it would cost way too much to see them every week, and it would wind up eating away at my savings. By the time I could decide if we should get married and figure who should move to who, I'd probably be broke. 300 miles or less is just a tank of gas and maybe a room for the night.
 Vincent_1984
Joined: 11/14/2005
Msg: 10
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How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 9/9/2009 10:21:01 AM
I would walk five-hundred miles and I would walk five-hundred more, just to be the man that walks a thousand miles and falls down at your door!

hehe, ok maybe not so much walking but driving really isn't much an issue for me. Long quiet drives can be pretty relaxing so, depending on the girl in question, what area she lives in, how well I know her before hand and the likelyhood of a long term relationship, I could drive anywhere from 10 to 500 miles.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 11
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 3/7/2011 6:38:09 PM
I have turned down dates wherein I had to drive across town.

My boyfriend lives in Chicago. I don't know how "successful" you could call our relationship; it has been going on for four years but he dumped me twice and I dumped him once. This time, it has lasted seven months and seems to be fine, but who knows?

The distance was absolutely a factor in the dumping of each other. If it doesn't "take" this time, I wouldn't even consider a man over 20-25 miles away.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 12
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 3/7/2011 8:00:28 PM

One of the biggest problems with these online dating sites is most people live too far away? I would like to know if anyone has had a successful, long distance relationship, how long it lasted, and who did the driving (man, woman, or both)? I would also be interested in knowing how far the average person is willing to go on a date...if you had to do the driving?

I did 1950 miles for well over 2 1/2 years. We both traveled to one another. I think I was in Alaska a few times more than he was in my home state at the time, but we didn't keep track. Today? I'm not built for distance. If it's not going to be a simple commute across the city? I'm likely not interested. JMO
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 13
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 3/8/2011 4:11:03 PM
30 minutes..tops. And that's being generous. 30 minutes only for the really hot ones. lol
 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 14
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How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 3/9/2011 7:51:07 PM

Well, usually no more than a kiss on the cheek on a first date, but...



Ha, ha, I was expecting a different question too.


I had posted in my profile on another dating site no more than 50 miles. I had another site where I had stated in the about me "not looking for a long distance relationship". However, it wasn't blocked for men out of the area to contact me. I was sent a message from a man approximately 2 hours away. We ended up going on a date to lunch and then playing cards at my place with my sister and her boyfriend. No short first meet just lots of emails in the week or two prior to meeting. We are still in a relationship, now exclusive almost 2 years later. At first, he would drive home late at night but eventually stayed over on the couch until we were comfortable sleeping together with the kids around. He does most of the driving and spends his free time at my house. He brings his kids over on the weekends I have mine.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 15
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 3/10/2011 6:13:30 AM
I've been duped.
I thought this meant clothes on, clothes off,
just kissing, groping etc etc etc.

I've traveled to meet people. Mostly east coast.
Some people have traveled to meet me...east coast
also. I have no plans for moving so I tell people that
up front. They should come here so they can check
out the scenery and see if they'd want to live here.



 BrookfieldMan
Joined: 2/6/2011
Msg: 16
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 3/10/2011 6:29:28 PM
i went over 300 miles once, south of cleveland to cincinnati.

after spending the whole day together and having a wonderful time she told me to sleep on her futon in the livingroom. we ended up talking from the livingroom to her bedroom, a distance of 15 feet. so she said, "come here".

"you can sleep in my bed with me but don't beg for sex".


i almost fell to the ground laughing.

"what the hell kind of men have you been dating?"

 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 17
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How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 3/11/2011 12:24:29 PM
"30 minutes only for the really hot ones. lol"

Similarly, I'd go half way around the world to meet the world's most perfect woman for me. But I'd definitely be rather leery of meeting a super attractive woman so far away (unless I was just going to be in the area anyway), because the fact that she'd be interested in me to begin with is rather suspicious. I'd have to be thoroughly convinced that she was real (as in, a real woman, and a real attractive woman, and not insane/criminal/escort/etc.) before I'd make such a trip. But I certainly have no mile limitations for the perfect woman who also likes me, because I know those are harder to find than a passenger pigeon.

As for actual behavior, I have almost never dated anyone that lived with 10 miles of me (oh, wouldn't THAT be nice!), even though I live in the middle of a densely populated metro, with most of my dates living 20-60 miles away and I think I have driven about 90 miles to meet a woman from online a couple of times. In one of those cases, she was from New York. But she just happened to be in Orlando for Disney-related stuff anyway, so you can't really say she flew 1000 miles just to meet me. Once I made a connection with a woman in Canada and shortly thereafter discovered I'd be going to NY soon anyway and tried to set up a meeting, and she wigged out on me. Same thing actually happened shortly before that with a woman I'd been talking to for several months in Southern California, but she freaked out the second I said I would actually coincidentally be in her area soon.

I met my ex at my job that's more than 30 miles of rush hour traffic from my home, and we commuted back and forth between our areas for 2 years while we were together (though, of course, I was going to be in her area most of those days anyway because of work; her commutes were out of "pure love"). A few weeks ago, she married a guy she met online who lived 15 miles beyond me, so they had 4 years of hour+ trips to see each other before moving in together after the wedding. On yet another level of irony, the woman I dated immediately after her (who I met online as well) lived 15 miles beyond her, so I had an hour long trip to see her, and she didn't live anywhere near my job (which I actually didn't have at the time anyway).

And to top that off, the guy SHE dated immediately after me lived in the same city my ex's boyfriend lived in, so THAT guy had to drive nearly an hour-and-a-half to see her all the time. (Even though they broke up, they had a baby together so now they're stuck with the constant commute since both refused to move closer.) We can thank the vast majority of this traveling among us 5 connected people to the internet, which allows you to meet people you never would have in "real life." You'd think we all would have been better matches, though -- after all, if you're going to date a weak match, you might as well do that with the guy/gal down the street. Yet I think we were all bad couples (including my ex and her husband, though she won't admit it yet!).

The last woman that seriously emailed me on POF would be a record. She lives about 100 miles away. It's really the only reason we haven't met, because such a trip (even meeting halfway) would require time off (and I never have that much) and advanced planning. I have almost never received a response from a woman, on POF or any other dating site, from a woman who lived in my city -- I'm really not sure why that is. Maybe because living near each other reduces the excuses to meet so they'd rather just not even "go there" to begin with? The two most recent "real life" potentials I have going live 60 miles from me and I believe Miami's about 250 miles away...? (She lived much closer at the time we met but was in the process of moving then.)
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 18
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 3/11/2011 2:29:11 PM
Downtown....easily....

especially if there is no..umm... ""congestion"" and the ""drive lanes are clean"
 VacationGuy234
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 19
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 3/14/2011 5:24:39 PM
965 miles, 186 feet, 7.9 inches, but I won't do another millimeter over that!
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 20
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 3/14/2011 6:18:07 PM
Matters. If there is a steelhead river or two nearby or even a good lake with some trout in it, I'll go as far as I can. I've been known to drive 16 hours straight for the potential of a big fish. I mean a real fishy with fins and stuff.

A bigger bonus would be if there was a good whiskey bar around the corner from said piece of water. Ya know, for the evening's entertainment.

 VacationGuy234
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 21
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 3/15/2011 4:00:27 PM
^^^ I guess depends, if it was Jameson, Knob Creek or Makers Mark...
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 22
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 3/15/2011 6:47:41 PM
I drove to New London hopped on the Orient Point Ferry to Long Island...drove an hour West on the Island for a 2 hour meet....she looked nothing like her pic's....drove back to Orient point...hopped back on the ferry...back to New London and drove home...10 hours total...and then was stalked thru the threads by the woman...that was too far to go.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 24
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 3/21/2011 8:11:10 AM

I'd go half way around the world to meet the world's most perfect woman for me.

The problem is, you can't know if they're perfect for you thru an LD relationship. Not just "why would a woman want me so much if she's so far away? WTF does she know?" but also to yourself. Perfect looks? Okay... perfect surface-persona? Check. Which can be a lot, don't get me wrong... and can be enough for an LD relationship which is a different situation altogether -- but perfect match meaning also perfect for a normalized relationship? Can't know that until you've already spent time with someone frequently for some time.

LD Relationships don't work, because many times, they're pen-pal "relationships" + occasionally meeting. It's a sad sad road to go down to when it comes to meeting someone new. Much like when you see a nice looking person go out with a porker. Assuming one doesn't live hours away from a city (but one should move if they've gotten older and never had any luck), it's an indicator of lack of self-esteem/giving-up and/or difficult to get along with and problems of their own and what they demand... or just not care about the opposite sex and such a "relationship" would just be a FWB and not an actual "relationship".

When it comes to picking up a girl or guy and getting things started on a good wavelength, timing and many easily-changeable things are key... when it comes to a relationship, situation is key. Much too often, people would practically DIE to have that "early phase" going with someone great, and take what they can get, even though it going further beyond that (ie relationship) is doomed.
 Schr√∂dingers_Dog
Joined: 11/17/2009
Msg: 25
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How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 12/15/2011 10:09:04 AM
Simple answer: a half-hour if it looks like we've got tons in common. For "who knows" kind of dates, less.
 JCinVicBC
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 26
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How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 12/16/2011 4:18:56 AM
Depends how advanced the relationship is. I'm looking for someone in the city, but I live in a rural area about a 45 minute drive from downtown. So for a first meet or first date, or early in a relationship, about that (except I can't drive, so it'd be more like 1-1.5 hours on the bus). But if we've been dating a while, and it's really going well, I could certainly see us going on a 2 or 3 week date somewhere in Asia or Europe, though she'd likely have to pay for most of it.
 hockeyfan006
Joined: 10/7/2011
Msg: 27
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How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 12/16/2011 8:33:59 AM
honestly i would go as far as it took as long as the person was someone i really thought we could make things work


so far 863 miles one way
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 28
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 12/16/2011 9:39:51 AM

Distance shouldn't be a problem if it's "the one".

To that I say, if he's the one - he won't be a great distance from me.

But if we've been dating a while, and it's really going well, I could certainly see us going on a 2 or 3 week date somewhere in Asia or Europe, though she'd likely have to pay for most of it.

Hoping this one is a joke. Maybe I need more detail to understand it.
 _allen_
Joined: 6/14/2009
Msg: 29
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How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 12/16/2011 10:14:21 AM
First meet? No more than a 20 minute commute. (I live in an incredibly large city. 4th largest city in the country, not including it's suburbs)
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