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 LovelySSBBW
Joined: 9/7/2009
Msg: 1
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Home alone when she is partyingPage 1 of 1    
What are your thoughts on the subject of men who stay at home whilst their girlfriend/partner goes out partying with her mates? Is this a part of modern life or is it something you have often wondered about?

I come from a culture with traditional values where couples spend their time together and I find this 'me time' very strange. I am sure I would feel miserable going out without my partner or at least guilty knowing he's stuck at home and I am out having fun.

And whilst we are discussing things, what is the point of British men going to the pub alone when they can drink at home? LOL
 broncsbuff
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 2
Home alone when she is partying
Posted: 9/10/2009 6:49:24 AM
I am going to take a beating on this one...but here it goes...

If your in a serious relationship man or women, you dont belong in bars till 3am. Only bad things can happen.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 3
Home alone when she is partying
Posted: 9/10/2009 6:49:27 AM
Me time is crucial. If you're a girl that likes to go out and you date a guy that doesn't - then that's how it turns out some nights. Either one doing the opposite would go against what they like. You don't have to do everything together. For all you know these women spend 6 days a week with their guys and this is the 7th day.
 wowsad
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 4
Home alone when she is partying
Posted: 9/10/2009 6:51:34 AM
i can't spend every waking moment with somebody i'm dating, and i do value my friendships. if one of you is just tagging along for the sake of being there, its not fun. i hate feeling like i have to constantly entertain the person i'm dating when i'm hanging out with my friends.

and whats the point of going to a bar alone? that has nothing to do with british, it has to do with what we men like to call "quiet time" lol
 slybandit
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 5
Home alone when she is partying
Posted: 9/10/2009 7:01:21 AM
I have to take it from your profile and this posting that you are not from the U.K.

The "pub" is actually a bit of an institution in the U.K. It's not just a 'bar' in the way that North Americans would think of it as being.

These guys are not going to the pub "alone", rather they're going to the pub to meet people they know, hang around with them, and be social, because the 'pub' (a contraction for 'public house') is a social centre, quite the opposite of drinking at home.

There is no particular reason why you cannot go out to the pub *with* your partner. Or with friends, without him, and no reason why he cannot do the same. There is no reason to feel 'miserable' or 'guilty' about something your partner would probably perceive as completely normal. You come from a culture with certain views, but you're not living in one. It's time to adapt, and you should adapt, because most of the men you'll meet will have different expectations than you do.

And no matter how much you like/love a person, they can get grating if you are with them 24/7. "Me time" can give you a welcome break.
 rheard
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 6
Home alone when she is partying
Posted: 9/10/2009 7:04:01 AM
Thoughts on men who stay home? Well - I guess that would depend on wether they stay home because they don't want to get out with their partner or because they have other issues to attend to and just can't. If the former - the relationship already has problems way beyond the girlfriend getting out for some fun!

If the latter? Don't know about across the pond but over here I'd say it's fairly common. Just something that is caused by and condoned in a modern lifestyle. I have no problems with it as long as it's an occasional kind of thing. I'll even get out for things my girlfriend can't participate in occasionally. Nothing in the world wrong with "me" time as long as there is plenty of "we" time in the relationship too!

Now for the third case, the one you didn't mention, those women who want to get out and demand that their boyfriend stay home? When it gets to be an every week thing it usually means an entirely different set of problems. I've had an ex wife and an ex SO who had those kinds of issues and it turns out that the getting out alone wasn't just to have some "me" time or even due to my hectic schedule - it was to find their next ex after me!

I suppose it all depends on the situation.

Cheers
 LovelySSBBW
Joined: 9/7/2009
Msg: 7
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Home alone when she is partying
Posted: 9/10/2009 7:34:36 AM
Interesting responses. Especially the farting/belching ones :D I suppose the culture gap is too big to cross easily. We hold dinner parties where our friends come and see us or we go to restaurants - there never has been the desire/need to be on our own. We have plenty of 'me' time at the hair salon, nail salon, beauty salon and at the shops where we can gossip to our hearts' content and talk about subjects that men would find boring. We don't need to go out at night with our girlfriends. But maybe all this is because we were brought up with this mindset? Maybe it is because some cultures have a 'we' attitude instead of an 'I'?
 fourletterfame
Joined: 5/13/2008
Msg: 8
Home alone when she is partying
Posted: 9/10/2009 7:38:59 AM
You have to trust your partner. Alcohol isn't some magical drug that causes you to do things you wouldn't do otherwise, it simply amplifies your desires to do those things while hindering your brains ability to convince you otherwise.

Girl wants to go out and get drunk at a bar, fine by me, if she ends up doing something she regrets, well she was a dishonest **** now wasn't she?

But you can't stay attached at the hip, people live their own lives. I prefer to stay in as opposed to bars, if I'm with a partner who enjoys going out every so often, who am I to say no? I appreciate the alone time, as well as feeling like I support her independence, which is good for both of us.
 wowsad
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 9
Home alone when she is partying
Posted: 9/10/2009 8:46:03 AM

I have to take it from your profile and this posting that you are not from the U.K.


thats very true... i had that in mind when i pictured it, because the bar that i go to is pretty much that kind of environment.
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