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 Steph_1987
Joined: 8/3/2009
Msg: 1
AGE DIFFERENCE?Page 1 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
I am a very mature 22 year old female, who recently started chatting with a 33 year old male. Do you think this age gap is much too large?
I am interested in knowing your opinions on this subject.
Thanks :)
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 2
AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/10/2009 5:09:22 PM
I have a very mature 22 year old daughter.

Yes, the age gap is much too large.
 privat33r
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 3
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AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/10/2009 5:11:11 PM
My ex brought home a 31 year old guy to meet her dad when she was 14. She survived. Her dad got on blood pressure meds. I'm not sure what happened to the guy but I don't believe he ever recovered. Play the game you're comfortable with.
 Landra2
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 4
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AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/10/2009 5:25:12 PM
I dunno.
Why would a 33 year old man be interested in someone so much younger?
Does he have a problem with women his own age, or does he need someone college-age to feel like a stud?
 vanaheim
Joined: 6/6/2009
Msg: 5
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AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/10/2009 5:25:28 PM
What's most important is that he is one of the good guys who treats you well.
Best advice is just don't move too quickly, don't be overwhelmed. If you're assertive enough to stand very well on your own two feet interacting with him, without feeling like a lost little girl in a spinning world, then all should be fine.
Remember the power of "No" is always in your hands, at any point.

It's really about informed consent, nothing else is of issue really. Be happy, do things which make you happy but to do that you need to be in control of your own life. You'll know if you aren't and then you act accordingly.

If he's a good guy you'll be fine and may have an amazing relationship others would be jealous of.
 SoftAndHappy
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 6
AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/10/2009 5:30:05 PM
I am 32. I can't imagine dating a 22 year old, no matter how mature he is. At 33 he SHOULD be at a different stage in life. If he is, that is a problem. If he is not, that is a different problem.
 OnlyThis
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 7
AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/10/2009 5:33:53 PM

am interested in knowing your opinions on this subject

You are asking the question because YOU think that there might be a problem with it and in this case, you are probably right.
 FrozenAssets
Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 8
AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/10/2009 5:40:02 PM
Did he ask you to get married?

If you have to ask, then perhaps you are too young.
 vanaheim
Joined: 6/6/2009
Msg: 9
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AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/10/2009 5:52:18 PM

Are you a funny, confident, successful man who loves things like art, history, books, Cartesian theology (ha ha), music, good food, dancing, and travel


Landra, maybe the men your age realise they're simply not up to your financial standards and undercurrent of personal demands and would rather be accepted for who they are.
You know I'm actually in a position myself at the moment where I may become very wealthy, it's a long shot but it's a good shot. And if that does work out the success will certainly make me very confident, have a lot to laugh about, afford all my unusual interests, travel the world and just dance the night away eating at fine restaurants and cooking up for spectacular dinner parties. No offence but I'd still run a mile from you, because you see I got to see the other side first and appreciate it without contempt

And by the way you did overlook the obvious possibility this 22yo girl is quite exceptional. Generally getting along naturally with older people is a descriptor of high IQ (being it was designed to attribute intellectual age). It is true that habitually targeting younger people for friendship can be a descriptor of low IQ, but that hasn't been established here, so we must work with what we know.

You really need to be more positive Landra.
 Steph_1987
Joined: 8/3/2009
Msg: 10
AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/10/2009 6:00:10 PM
vanaheim, thank you for your honest opinions on this subject. much appreciated.
 vanaheim
Joined: 6/6/2009
Msg: 11
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AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/10/2009 6:11:36 PM
No worries Steph, I'll have a small drink and toast you just now, hope it works out well but I'm sure it will. You're in control, good luck to you
 PinkOleander
Joined: 9/4/2009
Msg: 12
AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/10/2009 6:13:06 PM
I think as long as you still have to say "I'm a very mature ____" the age gap is too large. I mean I never preface a sentence with "I'm a very mature 47 year old." Even though I am.
 Landra2
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 13
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AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/10/2009 6:20:20 PM

vanaheim: Landra, maybe the men your age realise they're simply not up to your financial standards and undercurreands and would rather be accepted for who they are.
Thanks for quoting my profile, but what does that (or this thread) have to do with "financial standards"? You assume too much about me, then you brag, saying " I may become very wealthy"- you're the one with the money issues.
FYI- the last dance I went to had a $3.00 cover charge. Because there are so few places to ballroom dancing in my area, I'm usually found at $3.00 community dances having the time of my life.
Though I don't travel anymore, I am a former travel agent and originally from Finland. I like a man who has seen some of the world, since I've lived in various places around the globe. Been there, done that, don't care if my passport expires.
I rarely go to restaurants--- I'm a much better cook than most chefs.
I don't drink alcohol so you can save your Perrier-Jouet for someone who cares.
Art, history and books-- all free at the library. Open a book, you can learn all you like.
As for Cartesian theology- why don't you Google that.


No offence but I'd still run a mile from you
Likewise. Men who have money issues, brag about what they "might" earn hold no appeal. But good luck with your little business venture.
 BeachBoy123
Joined: 5/6/2007
Msg: 14
AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/10/2009 6:22:09 PM
Well I think the age difference when it comes to a relationships matters to an extent like everything else. Personally I'm NOT looking to date a woman over 6 years + or - my own age as it's not in my interest IMO. But hey everyone is different, if he can take you on trips around the world and pays your way for EVERYTHING and lets you drive the Bentley and not just the BMW and if he is truly is the KING of KINGS to YOU then he is the STAR for you. If not he's a dime a dozen and probably a touting clown.

All the be$t peace out.
 akimmbo
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 15
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AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/10/2009 6:27:35 PM
I really think it's a case by case basis.
you say you just started chatting with this guy.....but, there is more. You are hoping, or wanting it to lead to more? perhaps.?

You know, I can only relate this to my own very real experience.....When I met the woman who would become my 2nd wife...I was in my early 30's....and she was 21....and, yes, very mature for her age....ummmm....a lot more mature than I was, to be honest.

Now, I had sworn that I never would marry again at that point, yet, we fell in love , married, had three great sons, and a 19 year marriage.

So, there ya go....who can really say if there is a set rule around this.....?
I didn't seek out my second wife because I couldn't fit with any women my age, BTW...it was just meant to be. So yeah...anything is possible...I believe that.

regards
Kimbo~
 vanaheim
Joined: 6/6/2009
Msg: 16
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AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/10/2009 6:31:24 PM
I don't see why Oleander, the only reason I don't go around opening sentences or stating on my profile I've got a 145 IQ is because other people have a problem with it, not because I do.
And really it's another way of saying precisely the same thing.

So you can't win. Try to say your mature and people doubt you. Say okay then, what I mean is I have a high IQ and they think you're being arrogant.

Steph is clearly straight to the point and self aware.
What I do when I hear someone say something like this is believe them until they give specific reason for doubt. I try not to colour it with the fact that most people aren't very mature during their youth, but often say they are. I still give benefit of the doubt for a while at least, keeps me happier day to day
 guyd42
Joined: 10/13/2008
Msg: 17
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AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/10/2009 6:38:20 PM
“Why would a 33 year old man be interested in someone so much younger?”

For the firm boobs and show off in public!
They are also baggage free and easy to manipulate.
 vanaheim
Joined: 6/6/2009
Msg: 18
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AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/10/2009 6:38:28 PM

good luck with your little business venture.

Thanks Landra, I'm pretty hopeful about it. Art is funded by inspiration you know, but the publishers like my work so far and I've good reviews so fingers crossed.



Men who have money issues

You're still being transparent Landra.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 19
AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/10/2009 6:41:58 PM
Do you share a lot of common interests? Do you hold similar values? Do your personalities mesh? Are you both on the same “relationship page”? Do you get each other’s sense o’ humor? Is their mutual attraction? Do you relate well with one another? Do you enjoy each other's company? If you answered yes to these questions, then I’d say there is definitely potential.




Ooops, I forgot to even mention the age thing. Oh well, guess it doesn’t matter.
 Seven1234
Joined: 7/11/2009
Msg: 20
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AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/10/2009 6:49:58 PM
I've said it before and I will say it again. There is somethig very wrong with a large "age span" relationship.....Justify it all you want
Something is wrong with someone
 PinkOleander
Joined: 9/4/2009
Msg: 21
AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/10/2009 7:04:29 PM

For the firm boobs and show off in public!
They are also baggage free and easy to manipulate.

This is the first time I'm agreeing with guy42 and I never thought I'd quote you but here it is...I think you summed it up perfectly.
 BeachBoy123
Joined: 5/6/2007
Msg: 22
AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/10/2009 7:09:24 PM
As I quoted before age difference matters like EVERYTHING else. A 22 year old going out with a 31 year old GUY is a LARGE difference in age IMO but does it matter??? Yes like EVERYTHING else. Everyone is different and everyone has different lifestyles and goals which are often "dreams" to some people IMO. If your in a relationship with that age gap at that age then I think you should ask yourself these questions...

Does HE have a strong foundation on which to support a faimly???? Ya it can happen sometimes. Love is great but a strong foundation supports a house and a family not "dreams". There are many touting clowns out there who can not support a family let alone themselves as it's why the gap between the rich and the poor widens every day.

I wi$h everyone the be$t, be smart, be yourself and find that someone on which you can trust, connect and build your castle with.
 Levi501s
Joined: 6/26/2007
Msg: 23
AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/10/2009 7:50:52 PM
I gotta say OP, by not going off on some of the tacky responses here you are showing considerable maturity. Perhaps more maturity than some of the older people making said comments.

On Topic:

My niece and I had a pleasent conversation a couple nights ago. She's 27 and very mature for her age. She had 20 something college credits before she graduated HS. A few years ago, at about the age you are now, she was dating a 40 yo man. Admittedly, that's an age gap that I wouldn't condone, but what I found insightful was the reason she felt he enjoyed her company.

She felt the reason he enjoyed her company was because she wasn't inpressed with his amassed fortune. She didn't have a sense of intitlement, or expect him to spend on her. If you knew the hardcore, independant streak in my niece you wouldn't have a problem believing this. So, I think vanahiem may have a valid point.

Personally, I don't think your 22, to his 33 is that big of a difference. Just go in with eyes-wide-open.

THing is, if you were 5 years older, chronologically, I doubt anyone would have a problem with you dating a 33 yo man. However, those that do have a problem with your current age seem to have an inability to imagine that you might be 5 years more mentally mature than your contemporaries.

Think we've seen a few posts here that prove age (numerically) doesn't equate to maturity.

Good luck. Just don't expect utopia.

just a few thoughts
 OnlyThis
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 24
AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/10/2009 8:35:02 PM
My niece and I had a pleasent conversation a couple nights ago.

Gee.. it only took you what.. 4 or 5 years to get around to talking to your niece about dating a 40 year old man? No worries.. maybe she was getting advice on pof

She's 27 and very mature for her age. She had 20 something college credits before she graduated HS.

My 16 year old daughter has college credits. What in the world does that have to do with sexual maturity?
 Roberto46
Joined: 12/5/2008
Msg: 25
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AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/10/2009 8:39:02 PM
all the time, I prefer mature girl, the younger don't have nothing in their mind....
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