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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > This is how I lost my job folks, what do you think?      Home login  
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 btownplayas
Joined: 6/16/2008
Msg: 1
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This is how I lost my job folks, what do you think?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Hey there,

I apologize if this is long, but I hope you really, really read this and tell me what you think!!

I know I am on the Off topic category, however I hoped I dont get canned for this. I just wanted to explain my story and I hope you guys can give me suggestions.

I am a college graduate who finished college about 4 months ago, and due to this economy it has been hard to find a job. So, I decided to go back to one of my old summer jobs for the time being which is a camp counselor. In that same area, I was also a fitness attendant for members in the building. Well, as a camp counselor you are supposed to care of the kids, help them out with homework, provide them with games, and teach them new things. We are also supposed to disciplined them by writing them up if they misbehaved and contact their parents about what their child did. Well, there are several kids that I have worked with that are troublesome, they dont listen, and they are disrepectful. We write them up, tell their parents, and a lot of times their parents dont care, and the kid comes back to camp causing more trouble.

One day, as a camp counselor I tried a different discipline, I made one troublesome kid perform a pushup for misbehaving. The next day, I received a warning from my boss due to the kid's mom complaning and I though everything was ok, bc I got warning. However, a couple hours later I get fired because the parent complained again without letting me defend myself. At the same time, I was working at fitness and the same parent saw me talking with some of my old campers and my old boss decided to terminate my membership and I lost two jobs. What is even worse is that I worked for her for three years as a counselor and she said this to me "I saw signs up that Five Guys and Panera Bread are hiring, you should look into that". I am sorry this is long......but what do you think. Ive been job hunting for weeks and now unemployed like 9.7% of Americans.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 2
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This is how I lost my job folks, what do you think?
Posted: 9/13/2009 9:08:35 PM
OP, what do I think???

Have to first ask what race this child was, because I have NOW long learned that being of color still is a bad thing, and people will take issue simply because of that fact...

I was married last Weds to my sweety of over a year, and never seen or heard insults, but where we went out side of the specific area, I seen racism alive and well...

Further more, it seems that parents are NOT interested in their kids being held accountable for their misdeeds... The kids had to do push ups, how many???

You would be hard pressed to file for racism, unless someone else that was white used the same tech and did NOT get fired... Honestly, that is my guess, and I think these parents need a good throttling...

YES, I see kids my son's age of 13 that misbehave like they own the world... It really shocks me, because I don't pretend to think my son is not capable of being naughty... He is a good kid, but HE ALSO can be a little bugger when given the perfect situation.

I do NOT think you were out of line, but then again I don't like raising my kids like some big nasty brat, that feels entitled to misbehave just because...

I am sorry that happened to you...
 btownplayas
Joined: 6/16/2008
Msg: 3
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This is how I lost my job folks, what do you think?
Posted: 9/13/2009 9:49:51 PM
Yea, everyone asked me the race of the mom and child and they are white. I made him do 2 push ups and had him hold for 15 seconds, I was really definite about that. A lot of people say that it is a race issue, maybe it is, maybe its not. I am not the type of person to base things on race. However, if it really is, then its a shame. I would admit this to everyone that is reading this, I shouldnt made him do a push up and the mom has every right to complain, however I talked to my boss to have the parent come in the office (my boss being the mediator) so I can apologize and explain my side, they said nope.

I requested to speak to other people in the administration, she said no, I asked to speak with people who is in higher management, they said no. Basically, I offered every way to at least tell my side of why I did it, they wouldnt allow me to. I had no say in the situation and just let me go. My former boss then suggested that I should work at a burger joint for the time being. It felt like an insult when she told me because I worked for her for three years and didnt offer to help.
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 4
This is how I lost my job folks, what do you think?
Posted: 9/13/2009 9:52:09 PM
I think that any place that deals with minors in a professional capacity has very specific rules regarding what "is" and "is not" allowed. Which most likely includes what are acceptable forms of discipline.

Those rules are there for many reasons...protection of the child (client) and the facility in terms of liability.

If you broke those rules...you exposed them to potential liability and/or litigation.

A person should be especially interested in "raising their stock" as an employee given the state of unemployment. For every person that is not willing to conform to written and/or implied policy...there is a line behind them willing to take the job and conform.

That's the real world.

Edit: It may not only have to do with "what" you had the child do...but in "what" manner you expressed it and "how" the child reported his emotions at the time. Right or wrong...if the child said (honestly or otherwise) that he/she was intimidated or freightened....that becomes a no brainer.

Things like this become very much a "tight rope" for us to walk...that is why there usually is very specific thing you can say or do when dealing with these situations.
 btownplayas
Joined: 6/16/2008
Msg: 5
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This is how I lost my job folks, what do you think?
Posted: 9/13/2009 9:56:21 PM
The child is about 10 years old. The protocol is that you have a written report on the kid that is misbehaving, and then we contact their parents. However, when we do that, the parents dont do anything and the kid comes back the next day the same way, making my job harder. This kid was written up before as well, because another counselor had to report him. I just thought I can use a different way of disciplining the kid, because I have done timeouts, put him to the side to talk to him, been written up, and even talked to him, and none of those were effective.
 btownplayas
Joined: 6/16/2008
Msg: 6
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This is how I lost my job folks, what do you think?
Posted: 9/13/2009 10:00:15 PM
Hey revilors, you are completely right on what you are saying about the rules dealing with liablility and litigation. However, I was received a warning and then just decided to change their mind and terminate me without at least letting me defend myself. But, what you are saying is true. I have been looking for other jobs and have moved on, but it still hurts me that it end that way.
 WesternWildRose
Joined: 9/15/2008
Msg: 7
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This is how I lost my job folks, what do you think?
Posted: 9/13/2009 10:05:14 PM
Sorry you lost your job......and your reputation is now tarnished.

as a mom of 3 young kids I see parents coming to their kids rescue without hesitation.... a lot of kids are not accountable for their actions and parents take whatever the kids say as gospel.

many accusations made by kids have resulted in adults being under scrutiny and some even being charged with such things as child abuse.

I would like to hear the other side of the story in this case. There is always two sides..three sides to these things.

I would seek compensation ... written explanation from your ex-employer...some documentation listing why you were fired...so there is no misunderstanding or communication at a later date. Let them spell it out exactly what you did...and why you were let go.

your next employer might contact them and get a whole different story on the phone..with much innuendo... so contact the ex-employer.... dont get confrontational...be sweet as pie an request a written statement from them now why you were let go.

send your request by email so you have a paper trail and documentation.

It will be your ace in the hole if rumours and stories emerge in the future.
 btownplayas
Joined: 6/16/2008
Msg: 8
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This is how I lost my job folks, what do you think?
Posted: 9/13/2009 10:05:16 PM
Hey isnuttinfree,

Yea I felt very insulted when she told me to work at Five Guys and Panera Bread, because I worked for her three years and this was the first time this ever happened. I know their arent jobs out there, but I have a little bit of pride than to work at a Burger Joint or make sandwiches especially after I spent 4 years of Blood, sweat, and tears at Univ. of Tampa to obtain my B.S. Degree.
 renoirs_dream
Joined: 5/2/2009
Msg: 9
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This is how I lost my job folks, what do you think?
Posted: 9/13/2009 10:56:32 PM
Pass this on as life experience. People, (EVEN I), have been terminated for something that was not my fault. A job is a job. Remember... As my daddy use to say.... "I was looking for a job when I found this one." Tell the jacka__es, "Thanks for the paycheck! Now give me mine now!" (In Texas there use to be a law that you could require your payment NOW!)

But really man. Shake it off. Tell them to smell your a$$ as you walk out the door! For that's the last thing they will see as you go!
 red_relaxed
Joined: 7/18/2007
Msg: 10
This is how I lost my job folks, what do you think?
Posted: 9/13/2009 11:05:59 PM

Good luck to you! Find a place that can use what you have to offer and don't settle for any more of these kiss-butt places. With your background, have you considered going into private training for folks who are really trying to get their kids into decent shape?Use both of these as a learning experience for when you get into supervisory positions. Maybe one of your ex-bosses will even end up working for you...kharma. I've had that happen, too.

<img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0> Just what I was thinking.

Brush it off, don't give this any more energy than it deserves. Sounds like a wishy washy place to work anyway when the only disciplinary action at your disposal is writing letters to parents with their ears painted on. Some, not all parents send their kids to camp because they're completely overwhelmed themselves at the monsters they've created, and they need a little break...

Be grateful you're out of that environment.

Now quit whining and go find yourself a position that's worthy of you and your hard earned education.



 renoirs_dream
Joined: 5/2/2009
Msg: 11
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This is how I lost my job folks, what do you think?
Posted: 9/14/2009 12:23:43 AM
I just seen this....


When I was 10 years old, I was doing 250 pushups at a time and holding 5 seconds for the last 100. I was also swimming laps for 60-90 minutes nonstop. MANY kids these days are soft as pudding and if someone doesn't shape them up, they'll be dropping dead before they're 40. But that's Darwinism for you.
Two pushups? 30 seconds total? Cakewalk


Um... When I was a kid I had to walk 10 miles to and from school every day, UPHILL BOTH WAYS in the SNOW!

Oh, BTW.. I grew up in Texas!
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 12
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This is how I lost my job folks, what do you think?
Posted: 9/14/2009 2:59:12 AM
I think you were out of line and deserved stern disciplinary action up to and including dismissal of you position.

You took it upon yourself to discipline a child that you had no right to... as a parent, I'm the sole disciplinary figure for my children. I absolutely insist on the school contacting me prior to meting out a punishment to ensure that it follows my standards.

If a teacher or principal administered discipline to my child in a manner that set them out from the crowd, I would be livid and yes, I would complain to the high heavens. Then if I was told that a verbal reprimand was the only ramification, I would clearly explain how dissatisified with the system I am...

Bottom line... you were wrong and I don't think that the dismissal was wrongful.
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 13
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This is how I lost my job folks, what do you think?
Posted: 9/14/2009 3:14:14 AM

But I don't think she should have fired you from the fitness center just for talking to a camper.
What he doesn't explain is the topic of conversation... or whether or not he was disregarding his job by his lack of attention to it...

I'm apt to side with the employer again on this one as it is reasonable that the incident was being discussed between and employee and clients. Huge no-no in the service world...
 AwP
Joined: 12/31/2006
Msg: 14
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This is how I lost my job folks, what do you think?
Posted: 9/14/2009 4:42:02 AM
So being a counselor and working at the fitness center are two separate jobs with separate paychecks? It sucks that you got fired from being a counselor, but they did have an excuse to do so, maybe not a good one, but still. Being fired from the fitness jobs sounds like a lawsuit though.
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 15
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This is how I lost my job folks, what do you think?
Posted: 9/14/2009 5:01:54 AM
Being fired from the fitness jobs sounds like a lawsuit though.
Not necessarily. If he was speaking in a disparaging manner regarding the incident or anyone involved in the incident, then there is justification for dismissal.

Quite often when dealing with the public, it's not only the act of impropriety, it's also the appearance of impropriety that's important and dismissable.
 btownplayas
Joined: 6/16/2008
Msg: 16
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This is how I lost my job folks, what do you think?
Posted: 9/14/2009 8:26:47 AM
Hey there Lint Spotter,

you are completely right on your part. Like I mentioned earlier, and I hope people did read one of the statements I made is that, the parent has every right to get mad that I discipline her kid that. If I was a parent, I would be mad as well. I will admit that I made bad judgment by letting a kid do a pushup. And because of that, I understand that I got fired. What I also mentioned is that I had a second job in the fitness center as a fitness attendant. I have campers that would come into the center just to say Hi to me or give me a big hug..saying that they miss me. And as I was talking to some of my old campers (due to being fired) I was just seeing how everything is, and that same parent was walking in to pick up her kid from camp. When she saw me just talking to some of my campers, she didn't like that and decided to go back and talked to my old boss again, even after I was already fired. That is when my old boss told me that she had to terminate my membership and my other job as a fitness attendant. That part, I felt was not fair, because I was no longer as a camp counselor and I lose my other job, because of a parent.

Like I said, I lost my job as a camp counselor and I was reprimanded and its all good. But, to lose my second job for just interacting with my former campers and a parent to complain again, now I felt that it was unfair and I was not allowed to explain my side.
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 17
This is how I lost my job folks, what do you think?
Posted: 9/14/2009 9:33:23 AM

But, to lose my second job for just interacting with my former campers and a parent to complain again, now I felt that it was unfair and I was not allowed to explain my side.


Here again...I don't know if you fitness job has "rules" pertaining to what level of "interaction" you should have with children...but this may or may not have anything to do with the loss of that job.

I'm sure you were harboring ill feelings towards both the parent and possibly the child that, in your opinion, caused you to lose your first job. Possibly, they felt uncomfortable. I'm not saying they should have or that you should have lost your second job for that.

BUT...the people that hired you and keep busy during their work day with the management of this camp and fitness center or whatever are now having to deal with a parent AGAIN as a result of your behavior. Whether the parent was justified, it was right or wrong doesn't matter. Your behavior caused the whole "snowball" to begin rolling down hill and growing in size.

Again...your employer made a choice to do damage control and wash their hands of the WHOLE situation. They could have asked the child to no longer receive services which, I'm sure, would have brought down a wrath they would be dealing with in perpetuity. Or simply let you go and bring peace and harmoy back to camp.

What did you expect them to do?

Your former boss probably offered the other job possibilities as she felf bad for your losses and didn't know of any other open positions. Their are guys my age...where I live...delivering pizza with their BS degree. Our economy has forced us to get passed pride to keep the wheels turning. Don't be offended by this gesture...it wasn't demeaning or racial.

Edit: You can sue anyone for anything...but with "at will" employment...the employer doesn't need a reason. In this case...we know of "reasons" and don't get to hear the employers side of the story.

FACT...The boss is NOT always right.........but, the boss is ALWAYS the boss.
 mungojoe
Joined: 11/15/2006
Msg: 18
This is how I lost my job folks, what do you think?
Posted: 9/14/2009 1:10:45 PM

I made him do 2 push ups and had him hold for 15 seconds

I would say that you lost your job over it because this was not a discipline issue but, an abuse issue.

In the majority of jurisdictions, forcing a child to perfom repetetive physical tasks (meaning push-ups, stride jumps, and such) or forcing them to maintain an uncomfortable physical posture (meaning holding in a push-up position, support a weight with out-stretched arms, and such) are considered to be child abuse (because they are).

I would say you were fired because you crossed a major boundry and are lucky you weren't charged over it.
 btownplayas
Joined: 6/16/2008
Msg: 19
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This is how I lost my job folks, what do you think?
Posted: 9/14/2009 2:14:00 PM
I just wanted to say thanks for all the comments from everyone. You all made good points. I have moved on about it, I just decided to put it in the forum because it hurt me, but Im all good now. I cant dwell in the past, and I need to focus on the future. Several people on here mentioned that I should sue. I dont have any plans on suing anybody because I dont want to go through the process of litigation and pay a lawyer by the hour for a job that was paying me $9 an hour. I know I am better than that, and I will get something better. What I did was bad judgment in my part. I shouldnt had made the kid do those pushups and because of that I lost my job. It was fair.

I know many of you wouldve done different things, but I decided to let it go and move on, because their are better people out there that I want to associate myself with. I will be a bigger man in this situation and keep my chin up as well. You all gave me great advice, it was just in my head and I felt like I needed to tell a group of people whether its online or offline. I am focusing on pursuing other ventures out their and closing this chapter and learning from this experience.

Thanks!!
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 20
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This is how I lost my job folks, what do you think?
Posted: 9/14/2009 3:50:02 PM
OP, never let your ego or pride get in the way of getting food on the table at this time...

I can't say if you did the right thing or not. Yes, it is true that you had deviated from the norm, and perhaps 15 secs is to much...

The problem you have is what is called "hired at will", which also means fired at will... There can be a lot of things that are not known about your employment history, so there isn't much you can do...

Remember this is only temporary, and you will be able to move along during the rough times...

I have to remind my new husband of the same thing, because he gets beaten over the head with racism from time to time... He's a hard worker, so the younger men let him do all the work while they sit around on smoke breaks.... He gets so frustrated, and doesn't know what to do, or say...

I know that you were just trying to take care of a problem child, and YOU paid the price, which it seems that in the work world it is a written warning, or verbal, and then the next offense is dealt with through dismissal... However I don't know your work rules, nor do I know how much PULL clients have in who works where...

Good luck...
 JWG86
Joined: 7/5/2008
Msg: 21
This is how I lost my job folks, what do you think?
Posted: 9/14/2009 4:00:50 PM
I worked at a amp before and there is some BS that goes on. I am more likely to side with the OP.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 22
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This is how I lost my job folks, what do you think?
Posted: 9/14/2009 4:45:32 PM
This is why people form unions. You probably have no recourse against an employer who dismisses you for what do not seem like very good reasons. That's America. You're on your own.

Union membership is at an all-time low. Less than 20% of the workforce now belongs to a labor union. You have no one to negotiate on your behalf. I have a friend who recently was required to work 80 hours a week and was threatened with being fired because he refused to work 84 hours that week. Everyone is a on contract instead of being an employee. They can be terminated without cause, have no benefits, and are often required to work evenings, weekends, and holidays. It didn't used to be like this.

By the way, I don't see why making a kid do a push-up is abusive. Maybe it was against some sort of written policy and so there's that to contend with, but he didn't hit the kid, didn't yell at him or call him names or belittle him.

I have no idea what to tell you except that you are in a so-called "right to work" state where there is even less regard for employees.
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 23
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This is how I lost my job folks, what do you think?
Posted: 9/14/2009 5:42:59 PM

This is why people form unions.
They form unions to protect their jobs when they've broken not only the rules of the workplace but the law?

Uh huh...


By the way, I don't see why making a kid do a push-up is abusive. Maybe it was against some sort of written policy and so there's that to contend with, but he didn't hit the kid, didn't yell at him or call him names or belittle him.
He centered this one child out in front of everyone to make an example of him... that's abusive.
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 24
This is how I lost my job folks, what do you think?
Posted: 9/14/2009 7:15:58 PM

You misbehave your have to pay for your actions. There is a thing called life.


Yes...and the OP did.

Further...if send my child out of my sight to be in the care of other adults...and the level of care and/or treatment has been deviated from. How am I to know what other form of deviation from policy might take place in the future?

Even if I were to send them to one of those "boot camp" types of places...I would expect full disclosure of the policy and proceedures that exist and would expect no surprises.

You can always refuse service to these individuals that are not a "fit" for your program/camp.


Being fired from the fitness jobs sounds like a lawsuit though.


Where do you get this from? AT WILL employment. They don't have to give you a reason. They owe you nothing except compensation for the work you do.

The only way you are going to be able to gain from legal action is if they say..."I'm sorry...we have to let you go because you are (a man, a woman, black, white, hispanic, jewish, catholic etc...) and they are not going to state any of those reasons...even if it might be the reason.

Right...go find a lawyer...he'll take your $200 for your hours consult...then tell you that you don't have a case. A bad one might tell you that you do and charge considerably more for you to exhaust his efforts to get you NOWHERE.
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 25
This is how I lost my job folks, what do you think?
Posted: 9/15/2009 5:11:16 AM

You're suggesting he exacted punishment out of malice, his response being evidence of his guilt, thereby misappropriating judgement on the punishment itself.


No...I'm suggesting that, after being dismissed as a result of their protest from the first job, there may have been spill over in his dealings with them on the other job.


You were "sure" of the OP harboring ill feelings earlier but you have no opinion either way here. To not back up that statement on the back of your previous assertion implies you're not in disagreement with their actions but give subliminal support to it.


I'm not "sure" of anything. I don't believe I have the whole story here. I don't disagree with them at all...on the first job. He'd been there for three years and knew the rules. He broke them and caused problems for them with parents and possilby exposed them to liability.


That in and of itself is their problem, not his.


Yes it WAS their problem. But not any more.....they solved it. But I'd dissagree that it wasn't "his" problem. Case in point.


Ridiculous. Since when did the behaviour of talking become an indictable offence?


Well...I'm a "read between the lines" kinda guy. And I imagined him "talking" to the other campers pointing out the person responsible for his first job loss. At any rate, there would have been no "snowball" if he had followed the rules clear to him (by his own admition) at his first job.


Sorry I find that another ridiculous statement. You're defending an indefensible action. To be ruled by monetary gain at the expense of character is NOT good role model material to kids. I think the OP has just cause to pursue the second sacking if only to make a meathead out of his former boss - the parent and kid are a bonus.


I find your statements here ridiculous. You're suggesting that the employer should stand by an employee that broke the rules possibly to the extent of lost income and possible threat of litigation. Then you laughably suggest that he pursue recourse against his employer, parent and child with no leg to stand on. He was let go from the first job for "cause"...that being breaking policy and from the second job for "no formal cause". There is no recourse for this with "at will" employment.


Illogical support of the employer once more.


WRONG. It is a FACT of life. My statement ("the boss is NOT always right....but, the boss is ALWAYS the boss") is a lesson I had to learn many years ago the "hard way" as did the OP.

You might think that my whole post pointed fingers at the OP and share a kinship with his employers. You'd be wrong but what more could I expect as you posted after "closing time". So let me sum my posts and opinion on this whole subject for you.

The OP bit the hands of those that feed the people that fed him. No employee is going to thrive in the workplace if they do not perform to the standards of the client and/or employer.
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