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 LuvComesSoftly
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 1
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what is your greatest dating fears?Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Men and women tend to perceive their own safety differently.

I have been particulary curious lately about a mans worst nighmare pertaining to dating or relationships. I have a fairly good idea what a woman's worst nightmare may be. Most often its fear of physical violence, rape or murder. Women also tend to fear for the safety of their children. Mine is the typical female fears. In no way do I want to underplay mens fears. I would like to find out Gentlemen, what are your greatest fears when it comes to dating and relationships? Women, please by all means share your fears if other then previously mentioned.

*Romance and commitment itself.
* Men/women fear of stalkers or the mentally unstable.
*The Gal that might very well be a guy ( trans-testicals).
*As a man, I'm afraid of very Little.
*Getting trapped into marriage.
*Merely approching a woman for fear of rejection.
* Being falsy accused of rape or beating a woman.
*Fear of being attacked, raped or murdered. ( yes this can happen to men too).
*Being manipulated, controlled, loss of identity.
*He/she will laugh at me.
In all seriousness. what are your greatest dating/relationship fears? What precaution/s do you take to prevent these from occurring if any?

I thank you in advance for this indulgence of my curiosity.

LCS
 valentino again
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 2
what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 12:50:20 AM
you said greatest fears .. so means one only ???
- Stalker/ mentally unstable, plus murdering (alot of people think i have plenty of money.. "Without reasoning")..
- STD's.
- Drama, (ex's., or married woman who lied about her status, you know it happen).
- I know alot of my friends/ acquaintances who on their first date, just happened that the woman/ girl was just using them to get some other guy/girl jealous.. LOL......... some of them drive like 3 or 4 hours...
 LuvComesSoftly
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 3
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what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 1:16:28 AM
UM.. Yep! I would have to add STD's to the top of my list as well.
 Write Time
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 4
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what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 2:09:02 AM
I don't have any specific fears, but I have a couple of cautions:

* I want to keep my kids completely insulated from my social life until such time as I meet someone whom I think is good for them and will be around for a while. I do not introduce someone to my kids casually.

* I try to keep myself out of private situations w/relative strangers where I could end up in a potentially dangerous he said/she said scenario. There's a lot to be said for the safety of dating publicly.
 LuvComesSoftly
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 5
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what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 2:27:48 AM
afashionlady
True the above mentioned can be applied to many situations. I have to admit that I allowed some of those fears to influence how I date. Up until recently (no dating).
I can understand your fear. Some times I too fear that I will spend the rest of my days single. I guess it's a good thing I enjoy my own company lol thank you for your response.
 LuvComesSoftly
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 6
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what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 2:39:23 AM
write time,
This caution makes perfect sense to me. Even now that my children are grown I still hold off on introductions.
I do understand the consept of dating publicly. I had wondered if this was just a female concern or if men too felt it safer/smarter. I am sure for different reasons.

GreenCarrot,
Ever consider requestion Webcam chat? at least you get and idea of what she looks like. I for one suggest it before meeting some one myself. For me it's to be able to see his body language. Just to add more dimension. lol of course I always establish its only to Chat, before hand.
Thank you

LCS
 bmore_goat
Joined: 4/8/2009
Msg: 7
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what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 4:03:13 AM
I have to say one of my fears is meeting someone that's not as stable as they adverstise themselves to be.
I'm talking being in massive debt or having some type of major problem they need someone to bail them out of.
You meet some attractive woman and you get on with her very well. Then after a few dates you decide you really like her and then she hits you with the bombshell like she losing her job and can't find work or she can't keep her home and she need you to give her "a little help"
 justme1201
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 8
what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 6:56:34 AM
Hmm "fear" is a strong word. Honestly not much comes to mind. I am cautious, and sometimes skeptical, of certain types of people. I watch for red flags of alcoholism, anger, dishonesty or irresponsibility. I try to avoid those types of people, and certainly don't want to enter into relationships with them. But being afraid of those things? Not really. I've survived bad dates and bad relationships before. Sure I'd prefer not to go through that again, and pray I don't, but nothing ventured, nothing gained.
 PiggyT
Joined: 9/14/2009
Msg: 9
what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 7:19:20 AM
Isn't this the site where we come to face our fears? Almost everything in here is relevant and just part of the experience that is online dating.

I think another fear is that you will actually meet someone and have to leave....
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 10
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what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 7:36:27 AM
Not a fear, really, but I feel bad if I meet someone really nice and fairly compatible, but feel no chemistry with them but they do with me. Having to tell them I'm not interested in pursuing anything is always difficult.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 11
what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 9:55:49 AM
I have to say, my greatest "fear" is one that recurs yearly!
It's that I fall for some guy and he doesn't return the feelings.

It seems men that I date are all about having fun in the relationships without ever dealing with the responsibilities of a relationship. I don't do hollow.
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 12
what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 10:33:31 AM
My biggest seems to be rejection itself
One I met earlier this week was too clingy. I work 2nd shift, told him my schedule, he cancels breakfast,wants to hang out here. As I'm getting ready for work, there he is. He called it off after 2 days

Man will come and want my kids out .

Man who wants to sponge off of me.

Like the above mentioned, everything I tell him he echoes to his family. A little privacy please.

Being controlled. Nice the guys on this site want to decide for me if we are "moving to the next level" Did he ask/discuss first? No. I believe I should also have say in who I wish to date also
 LuvComesSoftly
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 13
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what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 10:44:42 AM
ForRumOnly
I too have this concern. I truly hate to cause discomfort or hurt any ones feelings. Thus having to suggest "we may not be a match" after meeting a person makes it truly very personal. I don't think there is no easy way to handle that.
thank you for your comment.

2run and Central scrutinizer, I kind of fugured with the ways things are these days that might be one. LOL I can only imagine. I have seen some very beautiful men. Good luck with that one guys.
 LuvComesSoftly
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 14
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what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 10:59:42 AM
sqlwhtmale,
Hum, so the easy solution to this one is no BJ's while driving? lol
Dang those bumps in the road!
 callmelori
Joined: 12/3/2008
Msg: 15
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what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 1:03:11 PM
Write Time wrote...
"* I want to keep my kids completely insulated from my social life until such time as I meet someone whom I think is good for them and will be around for a while. I do not introduce someone to my kids casually."

Exactly!!!! I do not introduce men to my sons.
 thebestlady
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 16
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what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 2:16:16 PM
That I will meet the one meant for me and then I will give up being on any dating sites
and stop talking new people. My life will turn to him and my life making it more ??? Everyone I have met to that point I would hope we could remain friends
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 17
what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 2:31:42 PM
Fear that she is a KGB spy and is only seducing me to steal State secrets. Then secretly has my baby and turns him into an All Quida terrorist and sends him to kill his own daddy. Only to have, when he is about to push the trigger say "Dad, is that you. I've been looking for you all these years."
 jojoaus
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 18
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what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 3:55:33 PM
To those lovely ladies who fear having to let go of the POF security blanket when you do meet the right guy??? Guess what! You don't have to I met my fishie Dec 2007 right here and am now a bona fide forum lurker/junkie... having my cake and eating it too???

On topic- Fear of rejection after 10 years of single parenthood was my greatest worry, but it turned out to be all in my head anyway. I had meets with 4 fab guys from here, who were good men and made me feel very appreciated.
 LuvComesSoftly
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 19
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what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 4:39:14 PM
LMBO okay that one would make me stop and think.
 LuvComesSoftly
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 20
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what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 4:59:50 PM
Great point Jojoaus,
yes I am enjoy the forums as well.
I would have to admit that I feared rejection as well. I think that is one that gets many of us.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 21
what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 6:22:24 PM
Don't hate me, but if I have fears of dating.......I don't.

For me, it is that simple.
 StellaAnne
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 22
what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 6:28:34 PM
OMG..............sorry, too bloody funny...........had to laugh!
 Sabrosura
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 23
what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 6:54:14 PM
OP: Can't say I have any fears per se. I try to go into things with a positive 'tude, and use common sense/take precautions in areas that are warranted.

I just have fun with it and let things play out accordingly.
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 24
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what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/18/2009 10:16:34 PM
Meeting her and through the course of the night, find out I am not into her at all, but she is with me. That's the hardest. You try your best not to lead them on or encourage anything else.
 LuvComesSoftly
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 25
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what is your greatest dating fears?
Posted: 9/19/2009 1:19:20 PM
NCPantherFan,
While I thank you for you post and warning, I don't think this is the proper venue for this comment. Whether it be accurate or not. Good luck.


I do have to say this post has made me feel like I am truly normal in my fears. For that I thank you for your answers.

LCS
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