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 Dantycoop
Joined: 8/30/2009
Msg: 3
Dancing With Another Man Besides Your Boyfriend/SpousePage 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
If you wouldn't do it in front of your lover, then you shouldn't be doing it, period. This goes for dancing, and pretty much everything else in life. If you have to think twice about it, then chances are you shouldn't do it.
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 4
Dancing With Another Man Besides Your Boyfriend/Spouse
Posted: 9/18/2009 1:17:05 AM
I agree with Mayjk on this one too.

Be respectful and it should be fine. I'd try to seek out my SO for every slow dance just so she would knew she was my first choice. And never over do it with just one other person.

I guess over doing it with everyone wouldn't be very appropriate either.
 sinlov
Joined: 2/25/2008
Msg: 5
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Dancing With Another Man Besides Your Boyfriend/Spouse
Posted: 9/18/2009 1:37:14 AM
Keeping in mind a relationship is about respecting anothers wishes, I would not/ could not "dirty dance" with another seriously. A dance should be, just a dance. I would hope that our partnership would be healthy enough to realize this. I would like a partner open enough and secure enough to switch up and dance with others, but save the special ones for me.
 ~*Isabel Kitty*~
Joined: 7/6/2009
Msg: 7
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Dancing With Another Man Besides Your Boyfriend/Spouse
Posted: 9/18/2009 1:44:59 AM
I'd dance cleanly with other guys in front of my partner, and I wouldn't mind if they danced with other girls as long as they too kept it clean. I think i'd feel akward doing it if my partner WASN'T there, and vise versa...wouldn't be as comfortable with them going out dancing without me. Now MOST of my dances would be with my man, but switching it up and dancing with others is fun. Though, I once went to a dance with a partner & danced with other guys...he just stood there and didn't dance with anyone else & then later on made me feel bad for doing so.
 I-am-Rei
Joined: 9/11/2009
Msg: 9
Dancing With Another Man Besides Your Boyfriend/Spouse
Posted: 9/18/2009 3:27:12 AM
Personally, I wouldn't do a dirty dance with another man with or without my BF/spouse. In the same manner that I wouldn't want him dirty dancing with other women, just seems inappropriate. However, I have no problem if he is dancing the regular/ordinary kind of dance with another women. As stated in the golden rule: Do not do unto others what you do not want others do unto you.
 big pacific
Joined: 7/2/2009
Msg: 14
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Dancing With Another Man Besides Your Boyfriend/Spouse
Posted: 9/18/2009 8:00:40 AM
I'm sorry but that wouldn't be chill with me.

It's not about having a tight leash, it's about respect. Dancing IS f*cking to music 90% of the time, it's peacocking, it's part of courtship.

Watching a stripper is different than DANCING with one. HUGE difference between watching a pole dance and getting a lap dance. Huge (well maybe not huge, but a good size?)
 big pacific
Joined: 7/2/2009
Msg: 21
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Dancing With Another Man Besides Your Boyfriend/Spouse
Posted: 9/18/2009 8:22:37 AM

I used to dance Regularly with a married man. His wife and he would go to the clubs, she had a disability and couldn't dance... but She Loved watching her hubby and I tear up the dance floor! We had Great Chemistry DANCING. It was Just Dancing and I flat out refuse to allow someone with such narrow vision / insecurity make something that was purely Innocent out to be something nasty!

Dancing is NOT fvcking 90% of the time!!! Holibatcrap and a pile of sheepchit! What kinda music/dancing are you friggin talking about??

OMG - I shook hands with a married man last week!!! Both our hands were nekkid!! nooooo I am evil .. .. yep .. pure evil ..

next time a guy asks me to dance I'm slappin his face right there! I'm not that kind of woman!


Laugh all you want, I'm right. Maybe at the age of 50, swing and salsa dancing can mean little to nothing, but the OP is my age, and i can tell you right now, that in the 20-35 age group, dancing IS f*cking 90% of the time, the other 10%? Dancing with family lol.

You have to understand i'm posting from the OP's point of view, dancing at 30 is different than at 51 isn't it?

Your friend was UNABLE to dance with her husband, you think if she was able bodied that your dancing would be equally acceptable? I think not.
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 22
Dancing With Another Man Besides Your Boyfriend/Spouse
Posted: 9/18/2009 8:43:47 AM
I wouldn't dance inappropriately with my partner in public, much less some other man. I would have no problem with my partner dancing with another woman and I doubt he would mind if I danced with another man. I don't go out dirty dancing with girl friends so that is a non-issue.
 Sabrosura
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 25
Dancing With Another Man Besides Your Boyfriend/Spouse
Posted: 9/18/2009 9:09:14 AM
Dirty Dancing - WTF is that? That is reserved for Baby & Patrick Swayze (RIP).



I am very involved and have a passion for Salsa dancing (among other types of dances). It is NOT a big deal to dance with others within our social circles unless you have someone that is insecure, jealous or old school.

I did date someone that was equally involved in dancing Salsa and he danced with other women (including myself). If I'm tired, he is more than welcome to dance with others within our circle of Salsa friends to get his dose of dancing in!

When I've been in a relationship, and have gone out with my gfs dancing - I dance. Not humping/grinding, but DANCING!



P.S. Usually if a woman wants to dance with my partner, they respectfully ask me and vice versa. This is pretty standard in the Salsa scene, as there is NOTHING like getting your dance on with a great dancer! It's about the dancing/having fun, not the "dirty" dancing you speak of.
 big pacific
Joined: 7/2/2009
Msg: 27
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Dancing With Another Man Besides Your Boyfriend/Spouse
Posted: 9/18/2009 9:26:32 AM
It's not about ownership, its about respect.

My girlfriend wouldn't give a shit if i danced with anyone, but i wouldn't because i know it isn't "just dancing" at least not in my generation it isn't. I'm sure your actions were innocent, and you have every right to dance with whomever you please.

Some people are cool with open relationships, after all its just SEX! That isn't ok with me either.

Dancing IS equated with screwing, how can you not feel otherwise? Your going to tell me there is nothing sexual in nature in a tango? or salsa? Jeez, those dances OOOZE sex to me. Let alone in a club.

Associating the young with being open minded? Sure if you want, i tend to be fairly conservative in my family values however, just how i roll. As for my dancing or sexual abilities, I couldn't say except i KNOW i'm an awful dancer lol.
 Sabrosura
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 31
Dancing With Another Man Besides Your Boyfriend/Spouse
Posted: 9/18/2009 9:46:18 AM
big pacific: It's not about ownership, its about respect.

My girlfriend wouldn't give a shit if i danced with anyone, but i wouldn't because i know it isn't "just dancing" at least not in my generation it isn't. I'm sure your actions were innocent, and you have every right to dance with whomever you please.

Some people are cool with open relationships, after all its just SEX! That isn't ok with me either.

Dancing IS equated with screwing, how can you not feel otherwise? Your going to tell me there is nothing sexual in nature in a tango? or salsa? Jeez, those dances OOOZE sex to me. Let alone in a club.

Associating the young with being open minded? Sure if you want, i tend to be fairly conservative in my family values however, just how i roll. As for my dancing or sexual abilities, I couldn't say except i KNOW i'm an awful dancer lol.




If you are a dancer (professionally or amateur) you have a LOVE for the dance/music. Dancing for most is not equated to SEX (LMAO!!!). Yes, they (various partnering dances) ooze a flair of passion and one's sexuality (due to the moves/techniques of the dances/one's style in dancing), BUT it is for the dance/music, not SEX in its literal definition.

Salsa, tango, rumba, bachata, etc..... are all very passionate types of dancing because latinos and such (where the dances originated from) are passionate people in general. It's all about having fun and moving to the tempo/rhythm of the music...........


RE: Open Relationships - you're speaking apples and oranges now.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 32
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Dancing With Another Man Besides Your Boyfriend/Spouse
Posted: 9/18/2009 9:50:31 AM
People can dance together without it being anything but dancing, if something else is going on the dancing isn't to blame. How insecure must one be to be that worried about every encounter a girlfriend has with another male?
 big pacific
Joined: 7/2/2009
Msg: 33
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Dancing With Another Man Besides Your Boyfriend/Spouse
Posted: 9/18/2009 9:51:22 AM
No, just drawing a parralel to explain that what is ok for you, might not be ok for all. Open relationships aren't cool with many even though the proponents aren't bothered by it. Dancing with others seems sexual to some, even though the proponents aren't bothered by it.

It's all about what flavor of ice cream you are ok with licking lol.

I think for you "dancers" that LOVE to dance all the time it may be different, but the VAST majority of people i would think equate dancing with sex on SOME level.

If it wasn't, why aren't there a TON of male/male or female/female dancers out there? It's a couple thing, at it's based level there IS romance AND sexuality in dancing, even if it's not "i'm leaving my husband for eduardo the dancer" there IS base sexuality and romance in dancing, you can't seperate it.
 R2000
Joined: 10/17/2008
Msg: 36
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Dancing With Another Man Besides Your Boyfriend/Spouse
Posted: 9/18/2009 11:24:50 AM

I think for you "dancers" that LOVE to dance all the time it may be different, but the VAST majority of people i would think equate dancing with sex on SOME level.

If it wasn't, why aren't there a TON of male/male or female/female dancers out there? It's a couple thing, at it's based level there IS romance AND sexuality in dancing, even if it's not "i'm leaving my husband for eduardo the dancer" there IS base sexuality and romance in dancing, you can't seperate it.


Dude!! You definitely CAN separate sexuality and romance from dancing. I've spent time in the club grinding on women I never wanted to see naked. It was just fun. And there are plenty of chicks grinding on each other and I don't think they are all closet lesbians.

It sounds more like people projecting their insecurities onto everyone else.

I remember back when every woman mattered to me because of how hot they were. So, I didn't have anything to do with fat, ugly chicks as I surely didn't want them getting ideas. I was afraid to admit my interest in hotties and since I'm not into guys, I didn't talk to them much either.

This whole dancing is sex thing wreeks of the same problem, seeing everyone only as a sexual or relationship prospect. Then, there is no way I'd approve of my girlfriend ( that I finally did end up with one is a miracle ) dancing with some other dude.

I grew up and got over myself. Now, I understand that it's possible to be sexually attracted to someone and yet still be faithful to your integrity. I also realized people are more than sexual objects. I'm not sure most people have.

Dat's what I think.
 sweet_n_heart
Joined: 1/31/2007
Msg: 37
Dancing With Another Man Besides Your Boyfriend/Spouse
Posted: 9/18/2009 11:48:58 AM
Dirty dancing i wouldn't do it's disrespectful, however i would do clean dancing with another guy if my man didn't want too.
 big pacific
Joined: 7/2/2009
Msg: 39
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Dancing With Another Man Besides Your Boyfriend/Spouse
Posted: 9/18/2009 11:54:07 AM

Dude!! You definitely CAN separate sexuality and romance from dancing. I've spent time in the club grinding on women I never wanted to see naked. It was just fun. And there are plenty of chicks grinding on each other and I don't think they are all closet lesbians.


Don't think those girls are grinding for attention by using sexuality hmm? I'm sorry, grinding on women you never want to see naked doesn't mean it isn't sexual. If it wasn't, then why weren't you (or aren't you) grinding on men then or now?

It's just like in pulp fiction, giving a girl a foot massage isn't worth throwing a guy off a balcony, but that doesn't mean it didn't MEAN something.

How did that debate end?

Vincent: Would you give a man a foot massage?
Jules: F*ck you.

SAME thing, would you grind on a guy now? Just for fun? I didn't think so, so don't act like there is no sexuality there, does it mean you are going to cheat? ABSOLUTELY NOT, but i won't do it because it isn't appropriate, and doesn't show my SO the level of respect she deserves.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 41
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Dancing With Another Man Besides Your Boyfriend/Spouse
Posted: 9/18/2009 12:55:32 PM
Each couple tends to set their own boundaries and expectations based on what works for them. We once experimented with swinging, and still hang out socially with some people from that group. We still dance with them, and it's still a lot of fun, and it can get very erotic - but we go home together, and we don't go out dirty dancing or anything else of that nature without each other. It doesn't bother either of us, as long as we're fully aware of what's going on and don't do anything we'd hide from the other.

Edit: We'd never do this with "vanilla" friends, because they would misinterpret things and that would cause problems we'd rather avoid. Our non-vanilla friends fully understand and respect whatever boundaries are set, so never any problems.
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 44
Dancing With Another Man Besides Your Boyfriend/Spouse
Posted: 9/18/2009 1:10:15 PM
I think everyone has just learned to ignore you by now.

Sorry, you're just going to have to find another playground.
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 48
Dancing With Another Man Besides Your Boyfriend/Spouse
Posted: 9/18/2009 2:27:13 PM

“Dirty dancing” is NOT putting baby in a corner.


I never liked that line nor the line "when I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong" from Dirty Dancing.

[end rant]
 Stafford_Jim
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 53
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Dancing With Another Man Besides Your Boyfriend/Spouse
Posted: 9/18/2009 9:04:34 PM

If you wouldn't do it in front of your lover, then you shouldn't be doing it, period. This goes for dancing, and pretty much everything else in life. If you have to think twice about it, then chances are you shouldn't do it.


Exactly.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 59
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Dancing With Another Man Besides Your Boyfriend/Spouse
Posted: 9/19/2009 10:54:48 AM
Agree with majyk and if a man doesn't like to dance and won't even try and his girlfriend or wife does, he should be man enough to allow her to enjoy herself provided she isn't out there making a little porno movie. When I was in my early 20s, I was married to someone who liked to dance and I would loan him out at the xmas party so that some of the gals that didn't have anyone to dance with could.

Maybe I am just turning into an old fart but the extent of the dirty dancing today as well as the chick on chick crap, I don't even want to go to a club so this wouldn't be an issue because anyone I would dance with at a wedding, etc. would be an extended family type of deal.

If the person who isn't dancing has a problem with it, they should get off their ass and learn how to dance. There are few people without at least a smidge of rhythm and ability.
 KinChandlerAz
Joined: 8/13/2009
Msg: 69
Dancing With Another Man Besides Your Boyfriend/Spouse
Posted: 9/19/2009 9:49:34 PM
Hell no I wouldn't. Ridiculous.
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 72
Dancing With Another Man Besides Your Boyfriend/Spouse
Posted: 9/20/2009 7:22:29 AM
Dirty dancing with another guy is just asking for it. Then the same woman will probably holler rape.

I noticed the kids are into that in high school nowadays. Some can't keep it clean.
 PiggyT
Joined: 9/14/2009
Msg: 74
Dancing With Another Man Besides Your Boyfriend/Spouse
Posted: 9/20/2009 8:29:05 AM

I defy anyone to find anything wrong with doing a polka with the neighbours 19 year old kid.


Is that what it is called now?

Dancing is dancing. Doesn't seem to warrant this many responses (imho). Any man worth his salt would know the difference between his SO dancing, and coming on to another. Personally, if my gal wants to go dancing, I say GO... have a great time! I am not interested in going to watch and "police" her having fun.
 Sherlock101
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 77
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Dancing With Another Man Besides Your Boyfriend/Spouse
Posted: 9/20/2009 11:46:47 AM
I'm a bit torn on this. I'm not the jealous type but I also have learned the more you allow situations the better the chance you will get burned. I never had a problem with a GF dancing with someone as long as common respect was practiced. I don't think dirty dancing or slow dancing is appropriate when you are with someone. Once again it boils down to common respect and I wouldn't do it to someone else.
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