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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Am I over reacting      Home login  
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 5
Am I over reactingPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I think you're overthinking it all. If you wanted an escort to your car you should have asked him.
Joined: 9/6/2009
Msg: 14
Am I over reacting
Posted: 9/20/2009 10:30:57 PM
Yeah you are overreacting. He is not obligated to do anything for you. Deal with it.
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Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 18
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Am I over reacting
Posted: 9/21/2009 2:49:55 AM
Yes, I think you are over-reacting.

On one hand, you can view this as a little inconsiderate -- he didn't escort you safely to your vehicle. This would be a bigger deal at night, I'd think. But OK, it bugs you.

But on the other, some women wouldn't *want* a first date knowing the make & model car they drove, and perhaps he was being mindful of that.

Of course, if you spent a few hours together and the biggest thing that came out of it all was him not walking you to the car -- that to me is the bigger red flag! He either wasn't a memorable date, or you're way too focused on the small picture.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 24
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Am I over reacting
Posted: 9/21/2009 9:07:09 AM
Here is an example--true--of what meeting in the mall can lead to.
We met at a Bob Evan's, in the local Shopping Center, first meet, for coffee. I got their first and was sitting at the counter waiting, when he got there. I rose, he was as he described, introduced myself. shook hands, and we went to sit at a table. The waitress knew it was a first date, as I had asked prior if anyone had been asking for me, and wasnt sure if I would know him. We all know how those pics online can wind up being. Cup of coffee and toast for me, water for him, 30 minutes later, we were in the parking lot. I got into my car, and left the parking lot, and started toward home. I then noticed a car behind me, taking all the turns I took. I started taking random turns, it did also. I head back to the Walmarts Shopping center lot, saw him, in the car, drive past me as I parked. I ran into Walmarts. It was the middle of the afternoon, so plenty of people around. Hung around for a while, actually I decided I did need a few things. See, this guy seemed normal enough. I would have probably gone out with him again. I was looking for that green car all the way home.

Wait for the "walk to you car thing" on later dates.
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 25
Am I over reacting
Posted: 9/21/2009 9:51:31 AM
Most guys I date are lucky if they can pick my car out in a parking lot for the first couple weeks, and that's if I like them. I found my way in, I can find my way out. For me that'd be the whole purpose of a mall - to not be easy to follow out.

In regular coffee shops or restaurants, I make sure I am the first in and the last out.

While I'd appreciate the offer to be walked out, I'd probably feel better if there wasn't one. I think he was respecting your space, and probably figured you'd ask if you wanted an escort.
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 26
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Am I over reacting
Posted: 9/21/2009 9:57:35 AM
imo, you're over-reacting.
 Happily Ever...maybe
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 27
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Am I over reacting
Posted: 9/21/2009 12:41:48 PM
For every thread wondering if its a red flag when the guy doesn't offer to walk a woman to a car, there is another thread asking if he's moving too soon and just trying to get her into bed if the guy DOES ask to walk her to her car. Without our secret decoder ring we just can't figure out these signals from women.

Yes, you're overreacting OP!
Joined: 12/3/2008
Msg: 31
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Am I over reacting
Posted: 9/23/2009 8:21:16 AM
Red asked:
"Is this gals profile hidden or has she removed it altogether?"

If I were her, I would have removed it. Good grief, I am truly amazed at the number of anger and insults that were hurled at her for asking a simple question. Why are people harpooned for asking a simple question? Have people really become that jaded that they have to attack the OP in order to feel better about themselves? YIKES! :\

An to answer the OP's question, I recently had that happen to me with a little different circumstances. I met the man (who I had met 3 times previous in group functions) at a bar on Monday night to watch football. We left around 8:30 PM, which isn't late by any means, but late enough so that the strip mall where the restaurant was located was empty and the sun had set an hour earlier. We were going to go to a nearby theater to try to catch a movie. My car was at the very end of the mall (small mall with only 2 rows parking along it). We half of the distance down the mall and reached his van first. When we got to his van, he asked me if I knew where the theater was and that he'd meet me there. He got in his van and proceeded to start it an pull away leaving me to walk to my car alone. It was a strange situation, but the man has a glaring problem with his gait (either hip problems or a previous illness/injury), so it was no big deal.

Basically, I think it all boils down to what you are comfortable with and what you would like to see happen. If you are going to see more of the guy, then I'd say just ask him to walk you to your car if you would feel safer. You could always offer to drive him to his car to save him the walk. I've done that before. A date walked me to my car, which was parked quite a distance from his, and I offered to drive him to his car. It's a nice return gesture, but one you can only do if you are comfortable with the person. :)
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