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 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 5
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PhD Dating and dating PhD'sPage 1 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

For those who have obtained a Ph.D., is it essential to date someone who is educated to an equivalent level?

In this day and age of "equality" and "partnership", of course. Nobody wants to throttle their high expectations by "dating down" or "settling", regardless of what characteristic is being considered.
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 6
PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 9/22/2009 8:04:50 AM
Obviously, like most people, I've known and been friends with people who have doctorates.

But the degree isn't really a measure of intelligence - more like an indication of the person's goal. One friend wanted to teach Political Science, so he did the PhD route. His girlfriend was an artist, so she didn't. They were well matched on all levels.

I think the most important thing is the level of intellectual curiousity. Someone who has a PhD is generally going to be interested in ideas and will fit new ideas into his or her worldview, or modify the worldview accordingly. Unfortunately many people actively avoid new ideas simple because they don't fit into their understanding of the world.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 8
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PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 9/22/2009 7:29:53 PM
I find intelligence sexy. My friends with Ph.D.s are anything but boring. They don't blather on about nothing, as one poster suggested, and they don't particularly advertise their degree unless they are looking for a job. They tend to be pretty interesting. I like their company and the few I've had as lovers were better than average.
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 9
PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 9/22/2009 7:34:46 PM
You know, somehow I doubt the Drs here are going to use your endorsement:

"I have a PhD, and according to research, that means I'm a better than average lover."

That's what every man wants to hear in the afterglow, "Baby, you were better than average."
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 10
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PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 9/24/2009 10:55:02 AM
I haven't got a PhD. But I've been told many times that I could do, if I just applied to study for one. Seems like it's well within my capabilities.

Personally, I'd rather date a checkout girl than a lecturer, as I've met both, and checkout girls tend to be more interesting. They're more open to think about things in unusual ways that stretch my mind.
 JustDukky
Joined: 7/8/2004
Msg: 15
PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 9/27/2009 12:02:53 AM
As a garbageman, I find that all other things being equal, PhD's tend to be more interesting conversationalists, particularly if their field is one that interests me. The PhD's I have met have become friends that I occasionally hang out with when I'm off-duty and away from the truck. They tend to like hanging out with me too (unless I forget to shower after work)

For dating, my standards are a little higher, and potential dates ought to have at least two postgraduate degrees and/or a post-doctoral fellowship. A net worth in at least the tens of millions (or preferably the hundreds of millions) helps too. (I have expensive tastes and I'm kinda cheap, so it really helps if they can afford to treat.). Appearance-wise, I'm not too fussy and as long as they won a national beauty contest within the last ten years, I'll probably accept them for a date if they'll sign my disclaimer, taking oath that there is no insanity in their family and absolving me of any blame or financial responsibility for harm or losses suffered as a result of affiliation with me.
 OMG!WTF!
Joined: 12/3/2007
Msg: 17
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PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 9/29/2009 8:06:55 PM
I think it's not so much the education level people have but rather the experiences they share or don't share. I've noticed people who have been to university at any level have a much different point of view on most thing than people who haven't. University culture tends to be more liberal than the real world and full time exposure to campus life is bound to have an effect on someone's personality; likely more of an effect than the actual education they've received and the things they know. This would only naturally effect the way people relate. My life now has nothing to do with the ph.d that sucked up four years of my time plus the six years of preamble prior. I notice a huge difference between university babies and the majority of the people I deal with daily. That difference has nothing at all to do with intelligence, just experience.


They may not know as many facts as the PhD....but being smart isnt about knowing facts...its about knowing how to recognize facts.


Knowing facts, while necessary, is not what getting a ph.d is about. At that level you're supposed to be creating the state of the art in your field. It's up to the candidate to know enough facts either before, during or after the course work is complete. However the measure of doctoral success is being able to apply the facts in such a way that creates new knowledge.
 OMG!WTF!
Joined: 12/3/2007
Msg: 18
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PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 9/30/2009 7:36:43 AM

Ph.D.s create knowledge through sound reasoning -- scientific methodology.


Now that's sexy. Who wouldn't want to date a ph.d?
 hungry_joe
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 23
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PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 10/12/2009 6:25:14 AM
I don't know if having a Ph.D. is a problem in dating. I'm still doing the ground work to earn one. Currently I am working on my Master's in Business (Supply Chain Management). Once that's done I would like to work on my Ph. D. in Operation's Management. My desire for this is because I wish to move Armies around the world, and keep them properly equipped. (Our Army) However, I'm realistic after all this course work, I might be able to get a job at FedEX.

Having a Ph.D. has nothing to do with level of intellegence. It does say a lot about a person's commitment to education. There Drive and ambition. It will take forever for me to obtain my goal between working full-time, rasieing my son, and the other trials of life but this is something that I desire for myself and I will have one even if I am 90 when I finish.
 hungry_joe
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 29
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PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 10/16/2009 7:25:34 PM
I will remember to keep the webster's online dictionary open. I tend to get sloppy with my writing in a less formal atmoshere. Sometimes we need to be reminded of these things right. So thanks.
 hungry_joe
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 31
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PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 10/17/2009 5:10:46 AM
^^^ I would say the General Petraus's Ph.D. aided him in his stategy for the surge in Iraq.
 OMG!WTF!
Joined: 12/3/2007
Msg: 32
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Posted: 10/17/2009 10:35:00 AM

My father was a master carpenter. You think that was easy?


Becoming a master in any trade usually takes in total about a year of classes at a tech college, three to five years of apprentice work to become a journeyman and another six week to eight week course to be designated a master of a trade. Compared to getting a ph.d in any field, it's really really easy. I'm sure your dad was the greatest carpenter ever, but his master designation was not the reason he was so great. He likely was a creative and smart guy who could do things no one else could. I've met some clueless master tradesmen. Being a master qualifies you to pull permits at city hall. It doesn't mean you know the state of the art in your trade.
 hungry_joe
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 33
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PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 10/17/2009 10:41:37 AM
I thought this thread was about compatiblity. Or is about who is smarter greater? I disagree with the above post about being a master in a trade. It depends on the Trade. Aviation (the trade I had in the Army) required a year of schooling. Now the FAA requires an additional 3 years of schooling for the license to work in my field. On top of that I need to have a min. of 5 years of hands on work experience to even be considered for a job.
 OMG!WTF!
Joined: 12/3/2007
Msg: 34
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PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 10/17/2009 11:00:30 PM
Mastering a trade and becoming a ph.d are two totally different things. As a lot of people have mentioned, ph.d's are expected to add to the body of knowledge in their field. Doing so requires not only mastery of the field of existing knowledge, but the crux of doctoral work is the original dissertation produced by every candidate. Mastering a trade may require you to know every last component of every last airplane ever built, but the moment you start being "creative" and trying to advance the existing knowledge in your field with original thought, you're going to get yelled at for not following the rules and not doing things in the proven manner and in the way that the people before you who know more than you have decided is the best way to do things. Do you really want plumbers to have ph.d's? Or would you rather they just did things using the proven method? I seriously don't want a creative plumber in my house. I'm not saying there aren't moments in any tradesperson's working life where their tasks may require original thought and creativity. That's what makes good tradespeople and bad tradespeople. But in general, the tasks required of tradespeople stops at knowledge acquisition.

Some people get honorary ph.d degrees based on their achievments. Their accomplishments have warranted the degree without ever picking up a book at the institute that conferred the degree. I can't say that I've ever heard of someone getting an honorary master's ticket in any trade. The concept doesn't even make sense. That's the difference in the two. I've banged my head against a wall long enough to know that the path to getting a ph.d is much much more difficult and requires much more work, struggle, and commitment than getting a master's ticket does. I'm certain I could get a master's ticket in any trade in about five years. I seriously doubt I could come up with enough original thought to get another ph.d in my my lifetime. Anyone of average intelligence can take either path and be successful.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 35
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PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 10/18/2009 9:55:27 AM
^^^^ I think you may way overestimate the amount of creativity allowed someone in getting a Ph.D.

Your "you're going to get yelled at for not following the rules and not doing things in the proven manner and in the way that the people before you who know more than you have decided is the best way to do things" could just as easily apply to a grad student being kept in line by a thesis advisor. In other words, I'm skeptical that very many doctoral students are allowed to really do anything truly original. That might show up too many of the tenured faculty!

What many trades and academia have in common is that they are both guilds -- "any of various medieval associations, as of merchants or artisans, organized to maintain standards and to protect the interests of its members, and that sometimes constituted a local governing body" -- which operate along very similar principles. Doctoral students and post-docs are really just apprentices learning their trade.
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 36
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PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 10/18/2009 6:28:37 PM
I'm a woman with a phud and sometimes I think I shouldn't mention it, that it scares men away. I didn't get mine until I was 46. The last LTR I had was with someone who had barely finished high school and I always considered him my intellectual equal. I've known a lot of really smart people without fancy degrees, and a lot of really dumb people with them. If I meet someone I find compatible I don't care what their level of education is as long as they don't make an issue of mine.

So what do you all think? Should I mention the phud in my profile or not?
 Super_Eve
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 37
PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 11/2/2009 8:17:50 PM
Stop trying to hijack the thread...just because you can come up with a pseudo-formula, does not make it relevant...

I am amused, for my own reasons...

Good one, enriquecalor...
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 38
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PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 11/3/2009 12:38:57 PM
^^^^ Haven't you ever heard that saying about physics being an "Oh" major -- because when you meet a girl and tell her you are one, they always say "Oh..."?

In other words, all your concerns may be largely of a purely academic nature. Sorry, I'm just the messenger.
 Super_Eve
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 39
PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 11/3/2009 3:29:57 PM

Isn't that what they say when they're having an orgasm?


My dear john, that would be OHHH!
 Super_Eve
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 40
PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 11/3/2009 5:28:44 PM

OHHH!, mtn - it sounds so much better when YOU say it!


*smug smile* Of course it does.

What the heck does Phd stand for any way? Penal hard drive?

enriquecalor is a bad influence...

I guess I haven't given my opinion yet. No, I wouldn't hold it against anyone just because they have a Phd. I am sure they are taking medicine for it...
 Super_Eve
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 41
PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:47:30 PM


What the heck does Phd stand for any way?
------------------------------------------------------------------
Doctor of Philosophy


Thank you, for clarifying that...

Going back to the original post...

I would not have thought it important at all but it always seems to breed an inferiority complex.


I feel like this is true, only when someone has been made to feel less than, because they are less educated. And it is not solely within academia, but in all actualities. Financial, circumstantial...some people feel like they should be further in life, than where they actually are. And when I say further...I am not talking about education-wise, or financial-wise, or familial-wise...I am talking about self-fulfillment. A lot of people, (I would even go so far as to say, most people) endeavor to improve their lives. It is the "means" on how they do it, that is a predetermining factor in their quality of existence.

When someone is confronted with someone who has achieved their goals, that person becomes a mirror, of all what they (the person who has not achieved their goals), aspire to be...and it may be interpreted as a positive impact, or a negative impact. It is very relative, since it is based upon interpretive response.

And of course, this may or may not, have anything to do with dating a person with a Phd.


Can people merely not converse without reflection as to what one does for a living or how one is educated?


Have you ever gone to social gathering, where it was unnecessary to disclose your career? I have.

But then (a contradiction, here), I sometimes ask, what do people do for a living? Only because I am curious...and sometimes it reveals a passionate pursuit...and sometimes, it reveals where they are dispassionate about what they are actually pursuing...either way, to me, it is always a gain...I learn about the person I am engaging a conversation with.

Just some thoughts...
 Super_Eve
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 42
PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 11/10/2009 1:53:18 PM

I need to think about this some more!


Don't overthink it!

C+S(P)=O


O is time in seconds in state of orgasmic excitment


Unless they are multiple...just sayin'...
 Ron429
Joined: 2/26/2009
Msg: 49
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PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 1/13/2010 12:20:15 PM
I have one and find it intimidates and scares away the dumber, more stupid gals. It's too bad sometime because maybe you've lost a nice encounter of some kind. But no I don't need to date a Ph.D.. Just a neat gal would abae nice.
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 53
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PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 1/23/2010 4:11:36 AM
I remember back in high school being told that our world was run by the best and the brightest,the smart cookies who had all the answers and were leading us into a bright future...looking at the world 30 years later i'm not so sure.
 tinsleyhut
Joined: 12/6/2009
Msg: 55
PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 1/24/2010 9:26:16 AM
I dated a PHD man in a field that I am fascinated with. In the month that we went out, he never once initiated or continued any topic related to it. In fact he didn't really discuss anything, it was very boring. He and his PHD wife had divorced.

I don't have a phood and don't think it is important for a match, however I have met very nice guys on line that make decent money that don't have an education and their poor grammar skills in speech drive me nuts and ultimately I can't continue.

People "alls" is NOT a WORD. Alls I need is someone with a basic grasp of the English language. NO
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