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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Wife finds porn on computer and....      Home login  
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 tallshyman
Joined: 1/1/2008
Msg: 2
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Wife finds porn on computer and....Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Hide your porn on a micro sd card
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 4
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 9/23/2009 12:38:43 AM
I think it's amazing that on the same site that people will call me vanilla because I gave the big "EWWWWW" when a gal asks that some other guy deposits his junk inside her and then asks him (bf) to retrieve it orally...will then have a problem with this.

I could care less if a SO of mine looks at porn. I don't care where she goes to get her appetite...as long as she comes home for dinner.

Your response could have been more like...yup...I've taken a gander from time to time.

Every once in awhile...you might even come upon a new trick....you old dog.
 majyk1
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 6
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 9/23/2009 2:21:57 AM
Umm why would you marry someone that you had to hide things from?
Isnt that what communication is for BEFORE you get married? JMO
I dont see anything wrong with it personaly.
 trotko
Joined: 10/19/2008
Msg: 7
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 9/23/2009 2:23:12 AM
Do a search and learn how to hide folders you can make one folder put it where ever you want and it won't show up. It could be right on your desktop. It's fairly easy Ya if shes good with computers she could find it but then youd also know she was diggin for it, Most woman ive talked to about this don't care if a guy watches porn theyd just rather not stumble into it on accident.
 afashionlady
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 10
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 9/23/2009 4:15:54 AM
Hmmm

I think, as someone who's been married for just 3 months, you're doing a lot that takes time away from your marriage...why? I see the pics of your wife and she's pretty. Wouldn't the time you spend looking at porn be better spent getting to know her better? Porn and being on this site--you do realize that she might rethink the marriage?

I have NOTHING against men or women looking at porn--have done so myself a time or 2. BUT...I don't think you need to be hiding it. You need to show her what you're looking at and perhaps talk about it. You think it doesn't push her buttons probably because what YOU'RE looking at is what does it for YOU. It's not a man thing--although more of you indulge in it--it's a human thing. But again, you're spending a lot of time doing other things that keep you from making your marriage that much better.

Now...that being said, if you decide to start hiding the porn on your computer, you'll end up, like my brother and his wife were, arguing about it and almost separating. She, like Ms. Honeyangel, is completely offended by the fact that her husband needs to view other women. Well turns out that part of it wasn't him--a friend of his ended up being the culprit (nothing says friend like letting your friend take the fall for your porn viewing doesn't it???). But still...he tried to hide it and that's where the problems started. That and having a trail to follow.

In the end, I'm not advocating for you to hide it. You need to have that conversation and you also need to respect her views. You DID marry her--go spend time with HER--practicing something you learned!
 WasabiGal
Joined: 8/10/2009
Msg: 11
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 9/23/2009 4:18:49 AM
as you can see Ice, the woman who have replied show a range of feelings about porn, and I doubt that it's helped you at all to figure out what your wife "actually" thinks about porn.

so you're just going to have to ask her.....yup.... and explain to her your interest, and how that looking at the occasional porn does not diminish your interest or desire for her. This seems to be a common reason why women get upset over their guys watching porn.

and who knows... you might, after "actually" communicating with each about this, you might just find that she could perhaps have an interest in porn, although maybe it's not the typical guy-centric porn that you've been watching. If you're willing to expand your horizons, perhaps she might enjoy more female-oriented porn that you could watch together. Now, that's a big leap, but you'll never know unless you talk to her

and for the women here who think that their guys aren't watching porn... puhleeze. Never? Ever? Well, somebody watches it. Oh yeah. It's everybody else's boyfriend/husband. Or it's that creepy single guy who lives in the basement. Couldn't possibly be a guy in a happy relationship.
 Stumbled In
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 12
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 9/23/2009 4:32:39 AM

Umm why would you marry someone that you had to hide things from?
Isnt that what communication is for BEFORE you get married? JMO
I dont see anything wrong with it personaly.

What she ^^^ said.
OP, it's time for a long hard frank and open discussion. Better late than never. Good luck.
 SmellOfPoop
Joined: 6/8/2007
Msg: 13
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 9/23/2009 4:40:24 AM
Any woman who thinks porn is cheating will be living on PoF forever — forever wondering why the men of the world don't revolve around HER ideas and give in to her stupid, insecure demands.
 SlingDad
Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 18
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 9/23/2009 7:26:49 AM
If it's something that comes & goes (pardon the pun) then it's one thing. I would have no desire to look at it having been just married, but that's me.

I'll look every now & then, and leave it be for months at a time in between.

Starting out hiding something like this and /or getting married without the opportunity to broach this subject at any time before now sounds a little odd to me.
 boinkboinkboink
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 20
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 9/23/2009 7:54:34 AM

The OP's behaviour is cheating, plain and simple. He has a wife he doesn't need to be looking at skanks. If he had any love or respect for his wife, he wouldn't be doing that. His behaviour is selfish.


Yikes! Red flag, Red flag. Control freak with a BIG self-esteem problem!
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 21
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Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 9/23/2009 8:01:48 AM
More fun if it's hidden; you know, forbidden fruit?
 codedout
Joined: 7/25/2004
Msg: 23
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 9/23/2009 9:24:58 AM
Honestly I have been through this. Her feeligns got hurt that is all. Sit down with her and discuss the subject. By hiding it you are eventually going to make it worse. Simply because someday, no matter how hard you try to hide it.... She WILL find it. Then she will be pissed because you lied about it and hid it from her.

I have a friend that just went through this. his wife had cancer and their sex life went down the drain. Now she is better, she went on his computer and found it and all hell broke loose. She told me the same thing she was hurt that he couldnt be honest with her.

honesty and communication are the best answers.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 27
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Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 9/23/2009 9:50:16 AM

It does seem like this is stepping outside the boundaries of your marriage to satisfy your needs.


And many women don't read "Romance" novels to satisfy a need? It's just that the "needs" are a little different in emphasis, given the differing natures of men and women. I see no problem as long as you're not depriving you partner of the attention they wish to get from you.
 boinkboinkboink
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 30
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 9/23/2009 10:27:27 AM

Boink, nothing wrong with my self esteem that's for damn sure. What I do have a problem with is men who cheat and ppl who think it's acceptable. Hmm your attached and on a dating site. Another cheater.


I am attached. Very clearly admitting to being attached on my profile, and very clearly stating that I am not looking. I do no, nor have I ever cheated on any woman in my lifetime. Girl, you're a very confused individual. You've clearly had your heart broken by a man who did cheat on you, now your self-esteem is so badly damaged that a man can't even look sideways without you crying, "cheater." Get a grip on yourself.
 big pacific
Joined: 7/2/2009
Msg: 31
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Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 9/23/2009 10:39:35 AM
You know boink, you may be my long lost brother, we always seem to post similar.

And chick there IS something wrong with your self esteem, what's next, no DREAMING about sex? NO MORE FANTASIES UNLESS I'M IN THEM. Maybe you should watch it with him? Then he isn't cheating, your just a swinger....i guess? Because TV OBVIOUSLY is the same as real life.

Thats why i'm a mass murderer because i play video games.

BTW, i'm on a dating site and i'm attached too.
 big pacific
Joined: 7/2/2009
Msg: 36
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Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 9/23/2009 11:44:18 AM
Read my profile honey?

And when you speak like a woman, that's what i'll call you.

Wanna know something HILARIOUS about this "cheater"? I never knew about POF until my girlfriend told me, weird huh? She was always reading the forums and is a lurker, actually she's in my fave's if you care to message her. I'm pretty sure she isn't concerned about my fidelity, especially since she reads my history of posts damn near every day.

She knows i look at other girls, she doesn't mind. She knows that in the end she's all i want, and that looking is looking. Hell she looks as well, i'm not going to tell her to turn of biology to stroke my ego. Hell i'm pretty sure she knows i like porn, i know she does. SOME of us don't need to be the center of the damn universe just because we happen to have a vagina.

But then again some of us do.
 REDDRAGON.
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 37
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 9/23/2009 11:51:30 AM

Confronts you with it sitting around in plain view in their in 'My Pictures' (yes, stupid of me, I should know better)


*sigh* You rookie.............

I dunno OP as many users have answered why are you hiding stuff from your wife?
this is not about porn but rather a lack of communication on your part.
You should be asking the question why can you not share things with her?

either that become more effective porn smuggler...
 big pacific
Joined: 7/2/2009
Msg: 38
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Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 9/23/2009 11:53:52 AM

I watch porn for the morbid curiosity. I like porn that's off the beaten path... Anyone can see a girls gone wild in your local bar...big deal. I want morbidly obese trannys with barn animals and midgets in my porn. But I'm a sick dirty old woman. What ya gonna do???


Got a link for me?
 boinkboinkboink
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 39
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 9/23/2009 12:35:05 PM

It's cheaters who need a shrink not us women who value loyalty and take it seriously. Get some and be a man and be loyal to your wife!


Ironically, recent statistics show that women are equally if not more likely to be unfaithful. I read your profile as well. I could have a lot of fun with it, but I know that this could get be banned from the forums.

Wow, sweetheart, you're a real catch. You remind me of that lake fish. What's it called? "Chub"? Generally, this fish is consider inedible.


Nothing wrong with my values or upbringing. Everyone has their own and there are no right or wrong.



The OP's behaviour is cheating, plain and simple.


ehhhhhhh? hmmmmmm! Sweetheart, practice what you preach.
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 43
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Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 9/23/2009 2:04:33 PM
Yanno OP... if you like to look at porn, then by all means, look away. You shouldn't really hid it from your wife though... I will disagree with you on that one...

Offer to share and if she says no, then be understanding... its not everyone's cup of tea after all... and I think you should explain to her that you enjoy it and that you intend to continue to view it...

For those that said its cheating and such... I nominate you for canonization... you are saints and deserve to be put up on pillars!!!
 REDDRAGON.
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 47
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 9/23/2009 2:38:48 PM
While everyone has differing opinions of what actually constitutes cheating, I have to admit I've never thought of porn as cheating. Hell, using that "logic", even watching a movie on tv would be "cheating" by that definition, if there was an actor/actress one found attractive in it. Even more iffy of a definition is saying that anyone speaking to the opposite sex is "cheating"....must be a very sheltered world some live in, or else control issues are rampant...I would hardly consider, say, making small talk with the man in front of me in the grocery checkout line to be "cheating".


You should know better "PORN" it's a volatile subject for some.

exploit the real facts and misconstrue them as you please.
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 49
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Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 9/23/2009 2:44:11 PM

exploit the real facts and construe them as you please.
Don't you mean misconstrue?

Seriously... some people take opinions on here far too seriously.


No more Saints, Lint Spotter...you got pilloried for that last time around, remember?
Oops... my bad. I forgot until you reminded me... seems like I only had half my brain in gear when writing that post... I'll engage the rest summarily!

I wonder though... if you and your s/o are watching porn together, are you in fact cheating on each other at the same time? Wouldn't that mean that masturbating is also cheating on your spouse/partner... and if you use a toy... ? ...

Inquiring minds and all...
 boinkboinkboink
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 51
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 9/23/2009 3:16:32 PM
I think Honey demonstrates something very important. Before we get married we MUST understand our partner's feelings on certain volatile issues. Honey is clearly very extreme in her perspective. This might be a compatible characteristic for certain men, but it is very contrary to what I personally consider attractive. However attractive her appearance may be, I would avoid her becuase her attitude doesn't fit with mine.

So, OP, bringing this back to you, did you make the effort to know what you wife thought about porn before you married her?
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 52
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Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 9/23/2009 3:21:58 PM

The OP's behaviour is cheating, plain and simple. He has a wife he doesn't need to be looking at skanks. If he had any love or respect for his wife, he wouldn't be doing that. His behaviour is selfish.

It's NOT a guy thing. Some men just say that to justify their bad behaviour. I have married friends and friends who are in relationships and their husbands and boyfriends don't degrade them by viewing sluts.

Those who encourage him to view it and hide it from his wife are just as bad as the OP is. Hiding it is called keeping a secret and in a marriage or a relationship there should not be secrets at all.

imforever, so what if the OP's wife goes digging for his porn stash. Obviously she's justified and he encouraged it by viewing it.

They're are lots of ways us women can figure out what our men do online. We aren't stupid.

Anyone who views porn instead of paying attention to their wife needs counselling for their addiction.
Jeeeeeezzzz! I bet it's time's like this one (post) that you guys miss the last five showing up on a profile..

I'd be more mad that you HID it from me than anything else.. Hiding it means you don't know me enough to know I'd not think it a crime worth cuttin off yur ballzzzzz.
 WasabiGal
Joined: 8/10/2009
Msg: 58
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 9/23/2009 4:39:54 PM
That's what porn is for. To get your fix of other women while being legally bound to one without actually cheating.


I like this.

I am wondering if the poster(s) who think that looking at porn is the equivalent of cheating also think that masturbating is cheating? Wouldn't it be? After all, you're enjoying sexual/erotic pleasure or stimulation with someone who you are not married to. Worse, it's same sex. Yikes. Better get a divorce.

as for the poster who says that porn is a guy thing. I am a woman. No resemblance to a man. I despise shoe and clothes shopping. I'd rather be having sex. I like porn, but something original. I find mainstream porn to be a bore, especially if it's aimed at men. I don't regard porn as cheating. Some academics have argued that romance novels are porn for women (and I believe there was poster who mentioned romance novels... what do you think Harlequin is selling? And as I used to work for that company, they actually do have erotic lines now, which are really explicit - lots of rigid arousals straining against jeans or pressing against womanhoods) . But as someone else said, men are more visual than women. So many women don't get the appeal of "porn" yet think there is nothing wrong with reading a romance novel. I think that young women who think that porn is cheating are truly not in touch with reality. For those gals, if you find a guy who agrees with you, I bet he's got some wierd peccadilloes .....far worse than looking at the occasional porn.

Edit post

Edit: Just read Sweetiepie's post.....she already mentioned Harlequin...and she was far more succinct.
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