Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 sues4964
Joined: 3/4/2009
Msg: 1
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I met this guy & we got involved pretty quick. We seemed to really click. anyway it was about 6 weeks into this, he had planned a vacation to his home town before we even met. We had exchanged keys a week before he left. he gave me his first. of course he lives w/his 2 sisters & I live alone. He came over Sun night & was leaving on tues. so this would be last time I would see him for about 2weeks. He usually stayed over until 4-6am when he came over. We were having sleeping issues. neither of us slept @ our sleepovers. I was working on it but it was all good. Sunday night he came over abt 7pm
& @ 10pm, said he's going home. I was like what. Not spending night w/me & I am not going see u. I felt rejected & was disappointed. he should have said something earlier. not wanting him to leave on bad note. I txt him later that night telling him call me when awake I didnt want him to leave like that. next day txt him again to call on has drive out to OK. I also left phone message. no response. now it's friday & i havent heard from him since he left sunday night. So I thinking he blew me off. so i sent txt to mail back my key. that he responds to . wondering why I upset. He just had his phone off for the last few days, yes, i know i am an idiot. anyway after a few emails & phone call I thought we were back on track kind of. talk to him next day. sent him mushy email once. now another 5-6 days go by & no communication. Is it expecting to much to send an email or phone call to your "girlfriend" when ur visiting family in your home town. especially if u were in a newer relationship. If he wasn't gonna call or email me for the entire 2 weeks, why didn't he say that. he would tell me i really care about u & want to be in relationship. right?! why do they just string u along??
 Walygatr
Joined: 8/25/2009
Msg: 2
view profile
History
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/26/2009 7:12:34 AM
He's expecting everything to be ok when he gets back, he's got you in an emotional frenzy while he's gone. If you wouldn't have contacted him once he would probably would be the one wondering right now.
 Udahchica
Joined: 9/10/2009
Msg: 3
+
Posted: 9/26/2009 12:22:49 PM

It's called TSP - Tactical Securing of P*ssy. ( Until a better one comes along)
Couldn't have summed it up any better than that!!!!
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 4
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/26/2009 12:39:13 PM
why do guys keep hanging on? actually I think you are hanging on, I'm not trying to be a prick or nothing but if a guy doesn't answer calls and not acting liking a oyfriend accordingly, so I'm not gonna tell you "leave him" and all that jazz but you know what to expect and you know his ways, so don't get frustrated when it happens, it's all on you.
 girlred228
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 5
view profile
History
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/26/2009 12:50:53 PM
YOu teach people how to treat you... by calling him and texting him.. what did that teach him?.. that you would chase when him when he doesn;t do anything. Confrontation does sound so negative... yeah I think men don't deal with emotions well .. that is why men don't like to deal with it... leave the man alone.. give him a chance to man up and tell you what is going on. The thing is.. you invested way too much to early before you knew what you were getting?.. how can you be in love in 6 weeks.. I know it can happen.. but is it real and true at that point? I had more to say but the phone rang....LOL so I lost my train of thought
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 6
view profile
History
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/26/2009 12:53:36 PM

CAUSE MEN ARE COWARDS AND DON"T LIKE CONFRONTATION...Man up and do what u gotta do men, STOP
Stop blaming men in general. If you must blame someone blame the actual man who did it to you. Better yet, blame yourself for allowing him to string you along and then forgive yourself for giving up your personal power and learn from the incident.


You are his" good enough for now gal", his "ms right now". He is only keeping you around until someone he wants more shows up. Don't allow yourself to be treated like that.
Most guys who have a "good enough for now gal" usually don't give them a key so that they have free reign on their personal living space. So, OP. don't let this post fuel the fear of abandonment you're already feeling..

Try to r.e.l.a.x. Op and gauge what happens when he gets back. There is no sense freaking out anyway.. you can't force someone to be with you and even if you could, how much fun would that be knowing he really didn't want to be there but you forced him to be >> Think about it.
 girlred228
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 7
view profile
History
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/26/2009 12:53:37 PM
Well why don't you end it... that will solve all the problems of you trying to figure out what is going on?
 1Walker1
Joined: 6/18/2008
Msg: 8
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/26/2009 1:49:53 PM
You know, I'd expect this from a 16-19 year old girl but a 45 year old one??
I'm actually SICK of reading this same old $hi! on here every day: "Oh poor little me! I met a stranger, he lied to me but I didn't realize it until we swapped body fluid". IT'S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE LADIES! It's all over TV. There's only a few men who will still respect you after early sex! Good luck finding them though!
Yes, guys lie, but so do women. Yes, women are wired differently but it's still, ultimately, their fault because they control access to their cum catcher! WISE UP!
Ya know, sex should somehow have a warning label: "Caution; premature swapping of body fluids with men you hardly know, can cause craziness, emotional distress, lonliness, constant ****ing on forums and even suicide. Use with caution AND at your own risk."
Jesus God, I can't wait until tomorrow so I can read 50 more of these SAME posts...
 1Walker1
Joined: 6/18/2008
Msg: 9
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/26/2009 1:58:17 PM

Rayner. Simple. They keep their options open so when the next girl is over, he can come back to you, right? Men think, AND FORGIVE ME for saying this, with their****.

You're absolutely right Rayner and you don't need to be psychic to know that.
"Most men think with their little heads not their big ones."
"Why buy the cow if the milk is free."
"You have to test drive a car before you buy it."
ETC ETC ETC. (Feel free to add more).
It's a real shame that this seems like a new revelation to some women on this forum. As I said earlier, I fully expect this from and have patience with the younger girls on here but there's no excuse for the older ones because I know they know about it.
 Arabianangel
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 10
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/26/2009 2:54:03 PM
OP...I know many are wondering why a woman would act this way at 45, I personally don't believe it's fair to expect someone to know the whole 'dating' game just because of their age. You were married for 19 years, and as most of us that have been in long marriages know how confusing it can be when we start dating....Don't be too hard on yourself, but take it as learning experience. I'm convinced that when something hurts so much we don't end up making the same mistake again.

I think a lot of good advice has been given, but that's the beauty of hindsight, advice makes more sense after the deed is done...you will learn to place your own standards and boundaries through trial and error...good luck..

p.s. In my opinion he is nothing more than a coward... move on sweetie!
 MetalVixxn
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 11
view profile
History
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/26/2009 3:46:20 PM
Wow, I'm from a different planet I guess. Since when does not contacting someone for a few days mean it's over?? Especially when they're on vacation with family! If you were comfortable and confident in the relationship I guess you wouldn't be freaking out? I dunno, if someone freaked out because I wasn't calling them every day I'd be a bit turned off.
He probably doesn't realize you think it's over! Cut him some slack, you've made up some huge dramatic situation that's probably all in your head. I don't get how you say he is hanging on...
 Arabianangel
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 12
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/26/2009 7:12:30 PM

The postings of a bunch of self proclaimed "puppets". As though "free will" doesn't exist!


But...'free will' is only ever appreciated through trial and error..What good judgement can one possibly make without having knowledge of something better? And what is 'better'? Isn't it an individual evaluation through our own experiences?
 Arabianangel
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 13
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/26/2009 8:33:17 PM

Let's pretend you're standing the middle of a fire. You're getting burned and you don't like it. Do you stand there upset that the fire hasn't yet told you that you're free to leave? The OP has her own free will to leave the relationship if she doesn't like it. I personally don't see where buddy did anything wrong, but she obviously has an issue with his "behaviour". As such, then she is the one who should make the decision to leave. It wouldn't surprise me if he does end it once he's back, unless he's big into drama. I couldn't deal with someone that clingy.


Using your own analogy, if she had no prior knowledge of fire and the pain it could cause she would be oblivious to the dangers associated with fire...this is what learning is all about. Free will is better exercised when there is a true understanding of what one can tolerate and what we can't.

The OP can now choose to be a little reflective, and perhaps fine tune her behavior for the next experience, doesn’t mean she, you or I will get it right, but stepping stones are just that.
As for his behavior, I believe it was a cowardly act and I don’t buy the BS of switching phone off, he should have the balls to end it rather than lie.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 14
view profile
History
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/27/2009 10:04:58 AM
I'm getting the clingy, needy, demanding vibe and I can see why he's not responding. Then again, I wouldn't be thinking I was his girlfriend after only 6 weeks and I wouldn't have moved things along quickly, since having sex a lot is not the same as having a relationship as in boy/girlfriend, but that's me. He should have told you he's moved on but since he hasn't, mail the key back and ask for yours back, if you don't get it back, change your locks. Chalk this up to moving too fast and thinking something was much more than it was. Casual sex with someone you don't know from beans is fine if all you want is casual sex, but if you are hoping for more then date in a way that shows the other person what it is that you expect. As is often said here, we teach people how to treat us...so rethink how you treat yourself and how you show others to treat you.
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 15
view profile
History
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/27/2009 10:06:51 AM

Wow, so much for any ground gained over the years for the advancement of women I'm sorry but the argument over self will is like saying women are too stupid to know right from wrong or that they are too incompetent to make their own decisions. It goes two fold when we talk about emotions.
It's more like the advancement of "self." It's certainly not a gender issue


I just can't see women in such a dim light.
|Perhaps It's your perception of the statement that needs a light shined on it.

No one knows what they don't want until they realize what it is. For instance, I don't know if I don't want broccoli until I actually try it. Then I can make a decision based on experience. Now, If I find I hate broccoli.. or, say it hurts my stomach but I continue to eat it anyway, well then you'd certainly have a point.
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 16
view profile
History
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/27/2009 10:26:27 AM
^^^^

Does it redeem me if I confess that I Love Elvis Parsley

. .
.
.
.
.
.
. .......... *and dancing Zuchinnis" (there's NO way that's a pickle or a banana
.......................... ...................... ......................... ............................... ..............
 REDDRAGON.
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 17
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/27/2009 10:47:51 AM

It's called TSP - Tactical Securing of P*ssy. ( Until a better one comes along)



CAUSE MEN ARE COWARDS AND DON"T LIKE CONFRONTATION...Man up and do what u gotta do men, STOP draggin our hearts around, it ain't cool!


^^^such posts speak volumes as to why some people are here



why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?


stop being a meatsuit and end it yourself? are you not in control of your own life?
nothing compares to a fresh injection of drama I guess.
 Arabianangel
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 18
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/27/2009 2:31:13 PM

|Perhaps It's your perception of the statement that needs a light shined on it.

No one knows what they don't want until they realize what it is. For instance, I don't know if I don't want broccoli until I actually try it. Then I can make a decision based on experience. Now, If I find I hate broccoli.. or, say it hurts my stomach but I continue to eat it anyway, well then you'd certainly have a point.


I'm starting to realllllly see how simple some guys are LOL....why do girls get it and guys don't?

I still luv ya Rock but that statement went right over your head..
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 19
view profile
History
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/27/2009 8:49:46 PM
^^ You're referring to the visual aspect of things. AA and I are looking a little deeper is all.



P.S. An apple isn't a vegetable .. ;0)
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 20
view profile
History
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/27/2009 9:15:40 PM
^^^ I got it darl'n.. I've seen some beautiful "women" with an adam's apple Can't comment on their zuchinni though *grinzzzz*

 3Therm0pylae0
Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 21
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/30/2009 12:58:57 AM
Blindly replying to your post's headline, I'd say it's called "keeping her around until I find something else." Sometimes, a guy,(or girl) will fancy the idea of having a few sex-buddies they're "playing" and using to feed their ego.

Now I'm going to go read your post and see if this isn't the answer to your post as well as to its headline.
 3Therm0pylae0
Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 22
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/30/2009 1:04:33 AM
Okay, there's more at play,(of course). He likely also is alittle "thrown off" by you caving into irrationality via hormonal 'luv'/lust/etc and the way you rapidly jump to so many conclusions and strong moves so quick. Don't feel bad, everyone has a heart and it happens.

Now, with things just so new and already complicated, let him hide in his "cave" of being unreachable and when the two of you talk in a week, either chill out and be rational about stuff in your attempt to smooth it out, or just kindly step away.

No probs there. Main point here: You seem like you got too wrapped up and mildly obsessed with a 'free spirit' guy or a guy who's not too responsible about nurturing his girlfriend's heart/mind.
 curiousaboutu77
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 23
view profile
History
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/30/2009 1:22:47 AM
i find it odd that a man who is in the throws of love does not want to speak to you for 2 weeks because he is on vacation. I know that when im in love going one day without chatting with the girl i really like so i would be worried about how genuine they are too. Relationships are all about communication and respect so i hope you get to the bottom of it.
 CookieLady66
Joined: 11/7/2008
Msg: 24
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/30/2009 9:33:22 AM
I'm one of those people who can't stand to have to talk/text someone EVERY DAY. OMFG I would shoot myself.

Perhaps he's like me & values his alone time. I really hate to be bugged when I'm enjoying my space.
 Asmoochiepoo
Joined: 8/11/2009
Msg: 25
view profile
History
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 9/30/2009 1:00:09 PM
He's just not that into you.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?