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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why do people actually come on here if they don't ever plan to meet a      Home login  
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 MiketheZombie
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 1
Why do people actually come on here if they don't ever plan to meet anyone offline?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Time and time again, I've seen people who come online, looking for that special someone, but only wanting to keep it to the interwebnet box we call the computer.

Getting to know someone online first, then meeting in person, then dating, then whatever else? Yeah, that's just a disaster waiting to happen. This is such a wrong thinking.


If you're talking to someone online, you're creating a false fantasy about that person. A false image in your mind of what you want, and morphing that person into it.

Then when you meet up your expectations are so broken, its guaranteed not to work.

And if it does? Good luck.


So here's the question, if you don't plan on meeting people offline, why are you trying to meet people online? That's the inevitable goal, but if you're going to try to put yourself on a pedestal and make yourself some kind of goal, they're either going to let you down or visa versa.

Keep your expectations real, establish a first meeting on email/im, but meet as soon as you can.

That way you're not wasting each others time. :)

Is there any sense in my logic?
 Fartz
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 2
Why do people actually come on here if they don't ever plan to meet anyone offline?
Posted: 9/28/2009 7:24:16 PM
It makes sense if you are into a hurry but some people like to take their time. Some people are happy being single but wouldn't mind finding a good match has a partner.

I have no intention on going on dates after dates after dates but, once in a while, if I am really interested in a woman from pof I wouldn't mind going on a date with her. For me to decide if I am interested and if she is may take more than one or two messages.


+ there are some people on here for whom it would be near impossible to go on a date with every person with whom they exchanged a few e-mails with. Are you suggesting they quite their day job?
 MiketheZombie
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 3
Why do people actually come on here if they don't ever plan to meet anyone offline?
Posted: 9/28/2009 7:36:34 PM
I'm suggesting they ramp it up. If they're going to try to "put themselves out there" they need to get off the easy button of email and like mean it. Nobody is going to just want to fill your email box, they're going to want you to prove it.
 Shamefullpride
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 4
Why do people actually come on here if they don't ever plan to meet anyone offline?
Posted: 9/28/2009 7:42:29 PM
Just to screw with people like you.. Really thats the only reason. We all got e-mails the day you signed up!
 soxfan64
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 5
Why do people actually come on here if they don't ever plan to meet anyone offline?
Posted: 9/28/2009 7:50:57 PM

Just to screw with people like you.. Really thats the only reason. We all got e-mails the day you signed up!


Dammit I didn't even get that email. I think my inbox must be broken!
 Shamefullpride
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 6
Why do people actually come on here if they don't ever plan to meet anyone offline?
Posted: 9/28/2009 7:56:34 PM

Dammit I didn't even get that email. I think my inbox must be broken!

You don't get the e-mail's if one went out the day you signed up.
 Fartz
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 7
Why do people actually come on here if they don't ever plan to meet anyone offline?
Posted: 9/28/2009 8:11:08 PM
I disagree, sometimes I will chat with People half way across the world because it makes for interesting chat. You see, I am not on here only to date, I am also on here for the forums and to simply enjoy chatting.

I suggest you start taking this online thing with a grain of salt. Find a way to enjoy it besides only taking it as a chore.

Then if you meet somebody great, if not there's no sense crying about it.
 aaamm
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 8
Why do people actually come on here if they don't ever plan to meet anyone offline?
Posted: 9/28/2009 8:17:16 PM

Is there any sense in my logic?
No, reality with some of the men I dated was much better and one in particular exceeded any illusions, dreams, ideas, I had about him. Check the testimonials...
 SydneyGuy50
Joined: 8/10/2009
Msg: 9
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Why do people actually come on here if they don't ever plan to meet anyone offline?
Posted: 9/28/2009 8:28:59 PM
So what your saying is, whether you connect or not, you should meet after a certain amount of chats to prove you are genuine.

Could it be that they havent felt the same connection you feel ???
 _central_scrutinizer_
Joined: 9/15/2009
Msg: 10
Why do people actually come on here if they don't ever plan to meet anyone offline?
Posted: 9/28/2009 9:36:51 PM
Why do people actually come on here if they don't ever plan to meet anyone offline?


For the laffs.

What else?

 lovemesomemen
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 11
Why do people actually come on here if they don't ever plan to meet anyone offline?
Posted: 9/28/2009 9:39:49 PM

Why do people actually come on here if they don't ever plan to meet anyone offline?


So let me get this straight. You assume that because these people don't want to meet you, then they aren't looking to actually meet anyone? Could it be, just maybe....they don't want to meet you? I'm just sayin. Don't shoot the messenger.
 james_ny
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 12
Why do people actually come on here if they don't ever plan to meet anyone offline?
Posted: 9/28/2009 10:45:27 PM
i think if it was a pay dating website they'll make it effort to meet up. since it's free they're looking mr "PERFECT"
 SleepyMcGee
Joined: 5/16/2008
Msg: 13
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Why do people actually come on here if they don't ever plan to meet anyone offline?
Posted: 9/29/2009 12:42:19 AM
^^^ That's it right there. The fact that it's a free site makes it easier for people to be blase about meeting up, there's no urgency or sense of making the most of the membership fee so why wouldn't they wait until they feel strongly that it's a match? It's one of the things I dig about this site, there's nothing to lose. If I message somebody and they don't reply, who cares? If they do and it goes nowhere, who cares?
 borderman12
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 14
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Why do people actually come on here if they don't ever plan to meet anyone offline?
Posted: 9/29/2009 12:45:15 AM
They come on here to window shop and see how much attention they can attract and get off on it with the good results.

Of course as with most things there will be a few exceptions.
 james_ny
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 15
Why do people actually come on here if they don't ever plan to meet anyone offline?
Posted: 9/29/2009 7:52:01 AM
you got it They come on here to window shop . they're thousand of women on here if they were really into meeting i think we'll meet up one each day. So be smart guys keep playing the lotto.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 16
Why do people actually come on here if they don't ever plan to meet anyone offline?
Posted: 9/29/2009 8:31:30 AM

So here's the question, if you don't plan on meeting people offline, why are you trying to meet people online?

But your post isn’t about people who DON’T plan to meet, but people who don’t meet soon enough to YOUR liking. You need to be accepting of the dating processes of others. We are all individuals with our own dating goals, intentions, and processes. If a gal doesn’t move fast enough for you, then find one who is more compatible with your set “getting to know you” timetable and schedule. Sure, there are asshats and time wasters on here, but just because the masses don't do things the way MiketheAwesome thinks they should be done, it doesn't make them "wrong" or a "disaster waiting to happen".
 ProdigalSon81
Joined: 1/18/2009
Msg: 17
Why do people actually come on here if they don't ever plan to meet anyone offline?
Posted: 9/29/2009 11:19:53 AM
I'd guess it's because they want to just have a penpal or they're too shy or worried about the outcome possibly.

I can't say I'm like that, I'm using this as a vehicle for an eventual meeting, if the person for whatever reason isn't into that, it just won't work between us.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 18
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Why do people actually come on here if they don't ever plan to meet anyone offline?
Posted: 9/29/2009 11:37:12 AM
Most likely those people ARE meeting people they have interest in. Don't assume because they aren't meeting you that they aren't meeting anyone. That would be sort of self serving...
 ProdigalSon81
Joined: 1/18/2009
Msg: 19
Why do people actually come on here if they don't ever plan to meet anyone offline?
Posted: 9/29/2009 11:47:05 AM

Most likely those people ARE meeting people they have interest in. Don't assume because they aren't meeting you that they aren't meeting anyone. That would be sort of self serving...


Quite true, but also there are some who have no intentions of meeting anyone and are content with just keeping it relegated to emails.
 aaamm
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 20
Why do people actually come on here if they don't ever plan to meet anyone offline?
Posted: 9/29/2009 11:51:52 AM

They come on here to window shop and see how much attention they can attract and get off on it with the good results.
I agree with this as I am sure you are one of them. It always bothers me when someone starts a thread with bogus information.

Hmmm, yes, I agree that this is one of those threads where someone is complaining that they don't get to meet someone soon enough. Ahhhh, patience is a virtue. Good things come to those that wait. I know this to be fact.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 21
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Why do people actually come on here if they don't ever plan to meet anyone offline?
Posted: 9/29/2009 3:22:31 PM

Quite true, but also there are some who have no intentions of meeting anyone and are content with just keeping it relegated to emails.

I'm sure there are a select few who do, but the majority of people who are being judged as not wanting to meet ANYONE are based on the view of one person who has no idea who else they are talking to or meeting.

Unless we know someone personally, we can't assume we know anything about what they do when they aren't corresponding with us.
 rocin
Joined: 8/30/2009
Msg: 22
Why do people actually come on here if they don't ever plan to meet anyone offline?
Posted: 9/29/2009 3:42:19 PM
I think it's interesting that you create a false fantasy about a person you talk to online - do you mean that you're being misled or that you're very, very hopeful? Why meet with everyone when you can be selective? Use the preliminary email/im to find out if this is someone you even want to meet.
 james_ny
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 23
Why do people actually come on here if they don't ever plan to meet anyone offline?
Posted: 9/29/2009 3:42:46 PM
some women dont get too much attention in real life so when they come on here they're flooded with emails and some of them starting acting like a queen looking for MR PERFECT based on your pics first and what you wrote in profile which sometimes are lies. thats why is faster to meet or initiate contact in real life than here.
 aaamm
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 24
Why do people actually come on here if they don't ever plan to meet anyone offline?
Posted: 9/29/2009 3:49:59 PM

thats why is faster to meet or initiate contact in real life than here.
No because rats will let themselves be known if you email and talk on the phone. There are men that let their lies be known by their written and spoken words after the initial email. Men that make excuses about photographs, you can only not produce a new photo for a week or two and then you know they are lying. Someone that has no patience or a life will try to get you to meet right away instead of getting to know you.
 james_ny
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 25
Why do people actually come on here if they don't ever plan to meet anyone offline?
Posted: 9/29/2009 3:59:18 PM
well. I heard that many times " we spent weeks, months , talking , emailing , texting but no chemistry when we meet. sometimes you can be very patient and you think he / she is the one or he/ she is compatible and find out later that he/she lied about everything. So meet someone in 3 days or weeks it still the same thing.
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