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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is just me or is everyone these days having babies and getting marrie      Home login  
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 sexytanish
Joined: 1/27/2008
Msg: 1
Is just me or is everyone these days having babies and getting married Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
So recently I made a facebook account .I found alot of old friends from junior high and high school and some from college .
must I say pretty much everyone is married with kids , engaged have a steady relationship .
I been feeling good about myself got my job , living my life traveling etc , but after seeing that i felt so depressed.
because not does everyone have a family they have husbands or engaged .
and i have nothing besides a good job.
im staring to feel as if be along for a very long time im 24. never had a long term serious relationship , never had a guy over my house for thanksgiving or christmas never been over a guys house for neither holidays .
its becoming very depressing because im reaching the age where i do eventually wanna get married and have kids.
but it seems as if that life wount be coming my way no time soon .
has anyone ever felt this way or is it just me.
 sexytanish
Joined: 1/27/2008
Msg: 2
Is just me or is everyone these days having babies and getting married
Posted: 10/1/2009 10:44:44 PM
thanks i appreciate that i needed some wise words .
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 3
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Is just me or is everyone these days having babies and getting married
Posted: 10/1/2009 10:49:26 PM
Be glad you won't be a divorced, single mother by 30 and dealing with baby daddies out the wazoo. Twenty-four is way too young to worry about making commits that probably won't even interest you by the time you are reaching an age when you want a husband & family.
 EvilLolli
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 4
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Is just me or is everyone these days having babies and getting married
Posted: 10/2/2009 6:17:49 AM
Well when I was 24-28 suddenly all my friends were getting married, having kids, or *gasp* getting divorced to remarry. It was depressing only because my family started the "grandbaby" pressure but at the same time it was very freeing. I had the freedom to go do what I wanted to. Work over time, go shopping, hang out w/ other friends, travel, be a pj clad bum all day. I didn't have a SO/spouse or kids to have to work into my schedule.

You have a great deal besides just having a good job. You have your youth, your freedom, the ability to travel, and the freedom to pick up and change your location if the oppurtunity arises asa well as many other things I may not be aware of.

You may not have had a "happy couple" holiday yet-but you have never had a helliday w/ the in-laws either.

Use this time to make yourself happy, and stop worrying about what others seem to have. There is a very good chance your friends are envious of you for having your freedom, good job, and single status. Some of the happiest marriages I know of are between people who didnt get married until way into their thirties so.......... plenty of time for you to find what is exactly right for you.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 5
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Is just me or is everyone these days having babies and getting married
Posted: 10/2/2009 5:51:04 PM
By waiting longer than some of your peers, you will know yourself better when you do get married and hopefully, when you do get into a serious relationship you will not just see that as the goal but ask yourself the important questions about whether you not only love each other but if you are really compatible enough for a long-term relationship, particularly one that could later include children.

Some people forget, if you wind up divorced you may have removed a great deal of angst from your life but if you have children, that person is going to be in your life to a degree for the rest of your life, not just until the kids are 18.

Enjoy your life and you will attract another with the same mindset and you will both be mature enough to entertain a lifelong commitment. I have about another 30-40 years on the planet, and I cannot imagine what my life will be like, particularly when my children are grown. You want to pick the right person to spend your decades with.

And something else, many people at my 10 year reunion were just getting married and starting their families, so not everyone on the planet is married and/or with kids by 24.
 aliveone1
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 6
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Is just me or is everyone these days having babies and getting married
Posted: 10/2/2009 5:56:15 PM
I agree with Daynadaze. I just turned 30, and I've already seen a lot of my friends get married and divorced and then do the single parenting thing. They struggle in court over child support and about if and when he'll ever take time to spend with his kids. And then there is trying to work out a good relationship with the ex's new wife who they have to see when they drop the kids off....Seriously, be thankful for what you have! Hopefully if you wait, you'll be able to it right the first time! In the meantime, you still have your freedom to go out and enjoy your youth!
 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 7
Is just me or is everyone these days having babies and getting married
Posted: 10/2/2009 9:26:40 PM
Judas Priest, not me! No babies coming from here! But my brother and his wife are pumping them out as fast as possible, it seems.

Ugh, if someone told me I was pregnant right now, I would ask for nine months of sedation, because I was a total biotch for the entire nine months I carried my daughter and everyone who came in contact with me during that time was made to suffer dearly by me for just being alive. No one should have to put up with me being pregnant ever again...and if I hear one more woman say "oh it was the best time of my life, I just glowed, I felt so wonderful" I may have to hurt them.

Beth
 jacob8088
Joined: 9/6/2009
Msg: 8
Is just me or is everyone these days having babies and getting married
Posted: 10/2/2009 11:44:44 PM
Not so sure about the married part, but I do notice alot of people having babys and ending up as single parents..lol
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 9
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Is just me or is everyone these days having babies and getting married
Posted: 10/3/2009 10:55:31 AM
At age 24 the last thing you need to do is be married and have young ones. I'm glad you are travelling and are in a good job. You're one of the fortunate ones. Every day, find something in your life that you are GRATEFUL for. You'd be surprised how far gratitude in life goes. Enjoy your life today!
 Kimberish925
Joined: 6/22/2008
Msg: 10
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Is just me or is everyone these days having babies and getting married
Posted: 12/8/2009 5:36:04 PM
lol...just wait until you are 40 and the cycle starts all over.
 ktk2
Joined: 5/6/2006
Msg: 11
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Is just me or is everyone these days having babies and getting married
Posted: 12/20/2009 4:23:16 AM
Big Daddy Jinx said many things so well.. Happiness is elusive because people think it is a commodity that someone else has and you think you have to pay to get it or else it will be 'poof' gone! Happiness comes from within and whether you have a little compared to anyone, or a lot; it's really within you already! Ever heard about those surveys to find out who are the happiest people on the planet?.. Well, the most seemingly affluent (such as the western nations) don't rate themselves in the the top 10.. but third world nations such as Kenya, Jamaica etc.. do... Think about that!
 milt_n_bradley
Joined: 10/14/2009
Msg: 12
 omfgtakethisname
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 13
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Is just me or is everyone these days having babies and getting married
Posted: 12/20/2009 7:55:24 AM
Wait for your 10 year reunion then see how many are still happy with kids... statistically speaking most of them will not be doing so good. Now that is not really negative thinking but just how a majority of marriages turn out with divorce and small scale wars over children.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 14
Is just me or is everyone these days having babies and getting married
Posted: 12/20/2009 8:47:58 AM
I just looked up the stats for Alberta's birth rate. It's jumped by 10,000 in the past five years so, ya, it does look like pregnancies are increasing, at least here, but this is the "wealthiest" province as well. The rate has actually dropped in Newfoundland over that same time frame. However, over that same period, marriage rates have dropped significantly across Canada, so it's not entirely indicative that because you are seeing women having babies that they're actually married or even in relationships for that matter.

What I see, however, aside from possible affordability based on where a person lives, is the mindset for why women are becoming pregnant. A lot of it is for the wrong reasons. As the OP states - everyone else is doing it, so I feel left out. Good old peer pressure and/or the feeling of being left out. If that's the best reason someone can come up with for becoming pregnant, no matter the economy at any given time, it's a sad state of affairs. As others have stated, having children and/or getting married isn't going to make you happy if your reasoning behind it is simply to keep up with the Joans (as opposed to the Joneses - because it's not necessarily based on being part of a couple anymore). It's almost like having a child has become as peer pressure oriented as what size of ring is expected when those same sort of females do get married.
 Allison223
Joined: 8/6/2009
Msg: 15
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Is just me or is everyone these days having babies and getting married
Posted: 12/20/2009 1:20:18 PM
Hi OP!! I feel the same way!! I just wanted to say thanks for posting this question it was really nice to see other people think the same thing and to hear some advice from people who are maybe a little older but wiser. I guess we just have to keep searching and someday our dream will maybe come true.
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