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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 15
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or PsychopathPage 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
You have been brainwashed and manipulated by a
con man.

Narcissistic sociopaths have no mercy. They seek out the best,
finest, smartest and then they proceed to destroy.

How do I know this - I was in a relationship with two of them.

They manipulate themselves into your life - they promise the world
and then they pull the rug out. No remorse because they cant feel.

They have no empathy, no love - except for themselves. They come
in all shapes and sizes - do not confuse these men and women with
someone who is selfish - everyone is selfish to a degree - these people
are like this and will always be like this. Has nothing to do with admiring themselves
in a mirror like the myth - they mirror YOU - all the good things about YOU.

They have no remorse - no feeling. Nothing.

To get over them- you need to deprogram yourself with therapy and great
support- I have some information if you would like it where you can find
some relief. Email me if you would like.

They look in your eyes and they want your soul. He has probably left you
with some PTSD symptoms. Make no mistake - these relationships are
brutal.

These are not normal relationships. If I explained it I would be here
all day but I know what you are going through and I still am going through
some of it.

I feel your pain.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 16
view profile
History
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 10/3/2009 5:56:36 PM
You're working under an alias? You noticed red flags all along? Stop considering him a soulmate and stop permitting yourself to be a victim.
 HappinessOK
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 17
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 10/3/2009 6:28:21 PM
Sky,

I have emailed you privately.. You have been dealing with the Devil!... and I'm not minimizing anything here. You are well out of that abusive relationship.

I have sent you a link to a site that has helped me through my pain for the past six months.. . please read the link and learn from it...it will help you.

There is a psychiatric Dr. (Sam Viknan) who is a self confessed Narcissist.. he has volumes of information that will help you understand this mental disorder.

If you want my support - email me ok ?
 curiousaboutu77
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 18
view profile
History
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 10/5/2009 4:49:03 AM
I think you need to look at this as a blank canvas and your opportunity to fill your life with things that you enjoy and spending more time with people that love and care for you and that your close to. Be glad that a bad influence is gone from your life and you can have a higher quality of life even though it really hurts that he isn't with you because you love him. Im sure you will be really glad that he isn't later on when your life is better and your happy.
 cfb62
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 19
view profile
History
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 10/5/2009 9:03:19 AM
Maybe you're just lonely.
Have you dated since him?
Maybe you enjoy being treated like garbage?
Some women just love drama.
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 20
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 10/5/2009 9:45:04 AM
This is a serious disorder.

Its a shame so many here lack a sensitivity chip.

Anyway. Varkin is a self professed
Narcistic sociopath. - umm.

Get it? Attention. Manipulation of his audience. Control.

Please stay away from his crap.

I know of a way better and supportive site if need be. Stay away from Sam.

I'm not a fan and apparently a lot
Of people in this field of mental health are not either.
 HappinessOK
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 21
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 10/5/2009 11:32:49 AM
Hi Curlygrl,

I read somewhere too about Dr Sam Vaknin and I have kept it in mind.. but he does explain the sickness in terms that makes sense (to me). Some of it is over-my-head mumbo jumbo but the jist is there for me to understand the "why" they are like they are.

I am with a support group that has helped me tremendously and it was Sam V that helped me go NC (no contact) . I am aware of his self confessed narcissism personality disorder.

ps, thanks for your input on these forums , Im sure that it is helping many who do not understand this hurtful/harmful disorder - which is nothing to be laughed at!
 HappinessOK
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 22
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 10/5/2009 11:38:01 AM
NARCISSISTS KNOW RIGHT FROM WRONG!!

They just dont care as long as it brings them something from it.

********And I agree I think we are heading for socialism ************
 Argentum Crinis Philogus
Joined: 4/3/2007
Msg: 26
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 10/9/2009 3:42:10 PM

Dr Sam Vaknin


A little bit of research into Sam Vaknin reveals a story behind the man worth being aware of, before one assumes that Mr Vaknin has any academic credentials that would warrant the way that he touts himself as "Sam Vaknin, PhD". His trading on his alleged degree is personally offensive to me since I have personal experience in how much work it is to earn that particular degree, legitimately.

Everyone reading Mr. Vaknin should be aware that he is a self-proclaimed narcissist who makes his living by, well, being a narcissist. How narcissistic.

Mr. Vaknin has no credentials or licensure in psychology. His alleged PhD (keep reading) is supposedly in Philosophy. He has been forced, legally, to put this disclaimer on his website and other materials so that his rear doesn't get sued: " I am NOT a mental health professional - read the DISCLAIMER". Yet, he does all that he can to give the impression that he is a mental health professional of some kind.

According to Vaknin’s own biography, his education goes something like this:

“Graduated a few semesters in the Technion – Israel Institute of Technology, Haifa”
Technion appears to be an accredited institution. But what about Vaknin’s wording? Did he mean that he graduated in a few semesters? Or did he mean that he completed only a few semesters? He certainly doesn’t say, and probably has reason to leave the wording vague. Again, impressions are more important than factual truth.

Ph.D. in Philosophy (major: Philosophy of Physics) – Pacific Western University, California, USA.
Pacific Western University is a “distance-learning” university that is not accredited. It is an on-line school. Vaknin claims to have earned a doctorate, although they don’t even offer a doctoral program. Academic rigor? Please! It is very well known that this 'institute' is nothing more than a diploma mill. For very little work, and a whole lot of money, nearly anyone can be awarded the degree of their choice.

“Graduate of numerous courses in Finance Theory and International Trading”
Mr. Vaknin uses “pass” and “graduate” interchangeably, which means that he likely never completed any undergraduate program at Technion, and again makes the worth of his supposed 'doctorate' highly questionable. Apparently, having taken “numerous courses” in business, he considers himself an expert— claims to be an economic advisor to Macedonia. I would like to see any kind of proof of that, as well. If his doctorate was purchased from a diploma mill online 'university', is his 'economic advising' just as contrived?

Certified E-Commerce Concepts Analyst by Brainbench.
Certified in Psychological Counselling Techniques by Brainbench.
Certified Financial Analyst by Brainbench.
When Mr. Vaknin uses the word “certified,” he means it in the same way that he “graduated courses.” Brainbench doesn’t offer certification of any sort. It’s a website with online tests that strive to offer a prediction of employee success. Saying that BrainBench “certifies” you is like saying that Quizilla can “diagnose” you. Mr. Vaknin isn’t actually certified in anything—at most, he’s reasonably well-informed in these particular issues, as are so many on this forum.

Sam Vaknin... PhD? Please! Well-respected? Pleeeaaaaze!

I found reading his writings useful only if I reminded myself continually that I was reading the writings of a self-proclaimed narcissist, who manufactured his credentials, and who now earns his living by being a narcissist.


Just FYI,

ACP
 Riverkilt
Joined: 11/16/2008
Msg: 28
view profile
History
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 10/10/2009 8:35:26 AM
Suggested reading - at your library, or worth the price to purchase, "Inside the Criminal Mind" by Stanton E. Samenow, Ph.D. (His Ph.D is legitimate).

The opening lines of Chapter Seven, "People as Pawns"

"The criminal values people only insofar as they bend to his will or can be coerced or manipulated into doing what he wants. ...he has a self-centered view of the world in which he believes that he is entitled to whatever he wants."

Further in; "The criminal believes that he is entitled to whatever he deires, and will pursue it ruthlessly."

"The criminal's attitude toward people is mercurial, dependent on whether they serve him. One day he may regard a person as his bosom pal and the next as his mortal enemy."

And there's much more. Samenow uses the word "criminal" to indicate personality disorders in the anti-social area. A person doesn't actually need to break the law - though that's the population he has studied.

I have worked in the criminal justice system for most of my adult life as a police officer and therapist - on the street, in prisons, in jails, with probationers, parolees, and pre-trial clients. Certainly not all are criminals or have anti-social personality disorders. But about 85% of incarcerated folks at least have anti-social behavior.

Knowing all I know from education, training, and experience I still get fooled...and when I'm not fooled it is still VERY difficult to warn fellow therapists about anti-social clients, "But they're so nice..."

If you decide to give Samenow's work a read I'm guessing you'll recognize your ex at most every turn.
 war_angel
Joined: 9/7/2009
Msg: 35
view profile
History
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 10/11/2009 4:00:56 PM
Wow this describes my past situation to the T. Funny she tried to call me narcissistic (saying i was just like her) when i'm quite the opposite. We finally cut the sh*t this morning. I'm feeling really low but that poison is gone from my life. I see exactly what it was now. Geez...
 war_angel
Joined: 9/7/2009
Msg: 36
view profile
History
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 10/11/2009 4:19:39 PM
I actually feel completely better after reading this. I'm amazed at how good they are at manipulating people.
 *lilacwine*
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 37
view profile
History
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 10/11/2009 4:20:49 PM
I think this is the same guy I was just with. Do you want the name of my therapist?
 *lilacwine*
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 39
view profile
History
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 10/11/2009 4:27:36 PM

Write a list of all the crappy things he has done and reread it when you feel down or if you think of something to add, add it.

This really helps. I made a list of his "pros" and "cons" and taped it to the kitchen wall above the sink where I will see it often. The "cons" list is about five times longer than the "pros" list.
 war_angel
Joined: 9/7/2009
Msg: 40
view profile
History
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 10/11/2009 4:42:31 PM
I'm a guy...this girl just went through me for months and this post just describes her so well. I'm completely in shock...but I no longer feel sad at all. Thank God it came out soon...i was really falling in love with this woman.
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 41
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 10/11/2009 4:57:13 PM

Narcissistic psychopaths are NOT your everyday bad-tempered abusive types. They have a dark side that is as close to being "possessed" by some horrific demon as you will ever find on this earth.

I know this... as sure as I'm sitting here.


Silken - you are awesome on here.

This is a one way ride to Helltown.

PTSD is a true disorder that they leave you with.

You are caught. You are scared. You are frightened. You are depressed.
The list goes on.

There is no escaping this disorder when dealing with a narcisistic sociopath
in your life. You are left with tons of feelings that you MUST face head on -
Candles and a bath will not cut this.

You need real therapy with a real therapist who understands PTSD.

Some reading material for you to look into -
Women who love psychopaths - dont let the title fool you, it encompasses
narcissism and sociopathic behavior towards women in relationships.
The author is Sandra Browne who is a psycotherapist and has a website.

The other is by Lisa E, Scott - Its all about Him. She has a wonderful website
with awesome support. You will see yourself there a million times by all the
compassionate women and MEN who post there- yes there are women who
are naricissistic sociopaths too. Not as many but enough to warrant a site
devoted to it.

There is no way out. There is no help for them. They dont think anything is wrong.
They also have underlying mental problems too like alcoholism, sex addiction, PTSD
and drug addiction.

All part of this pathology.

You cant save them. You can only save yourself.

There is no going back and working it out. There is
nothing. They will only continue to destroy you. they will abandon you. Again.
Cheating, pathological lying, indiscriminate sex partners, parasitic lifestyle, no
goals, acute sense of self - meaning they are above everyone, short term relationships,
multiple marriages - the list goes on.

No contact. None. Just get your life back.
Believe me I know it hurts. You want to save them. You cant.
 ForumsGee
Joined: 2/26/2009
Msg: 42
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 10/12/2009 6:17:10 PM
Silken Fire

I sit here with tears in my eyes after reading your posts and those of others on this link
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts10157162.aspx

I cannot tell you how much Im healing and learning,... learning how to start the process to heal, forgive and love myself.

From all of us out here I thank you for the time you take in helping us understand and learn to heal.

I hope that your demons have been put to rest too.
 BetterthanaMemory
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 45
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 1/26/2012 3:55:18 PM
Hello Everyone, Funny u should talk about this. I just was dating a guy who defintely without a date an Narcisstic Person.
I was so taken in by him cause of his looks,profile and he was a EVERLASTING FRIEND. His profile. Iwant so bad to expose him for the person he really is. Since the world is such a small place people like to talk. He has so much porn pictures on his computer plus he is all and all out wmanizer.
It seems he comes on very strong and then he starts to lie, belittle u and i mean he is extremely nasty person
I fell for it on one breath but i saw his schemes and when u get close enough to the truth, he trys to say he will call his attorney and all this crap about slander.
I want him someone to get him off this site.
He keeps on getting validaton from woman and it is terrible because tonite he says he had like 14 messages from woman so they all say he is nice.
No he is not and i mean it.
So if any one has any suggestions
They all want him including me that is exactly what he said. When he has no power he blocs u so i am IGGED.
It told him exactly what he was a Narcisstic and he did not like that one bit. Actually he is so sick that he posted the disorder on messenger calling me his doctor and thanking me for it Sarasticly.
He has said numerous times he does not make any mistakes Wow
When he types u he accuses u of things or he trys to trip u up on your words to make it look like it u. A friend of mine looked it up and honestly his name should have been listed under it. I am i guess angry with me cause i really fell for this guy.
Never was intimate with no one for seven years because i had a boyfriend but after that relationship ended It thought God actually brought me to this guy.
Oh My God he lured me and pursued me day and nite and then i meet him. Their he was with the glass of wine and i went to his house. Needless to say, i felll for his crap not to long after that, he started to treat me so bad.
I want to warn every woman on this site.
He lives in PA and God help u
 Gertrude13
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 46
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 1/26/2012 4:30:42 PM

But thanks for asking, look if you know he's abuser and youre emotionally attached and you're seeing a therapist who is advising you , why are you asking a bunch a strangers what to do? you already know what to do.


Here's the thing. Healing is unique to every person and every situation. A therapist is great, particularly if you have a good one, one you can trust, but she cannot tell you about her own journey. that would be unprofessional.

These predators have a true gift for making the best and brightest of us doubt everything about ourselves. Our character, our intelligence, our attractiveness...Everything. they have to do this, or we would listen to our screaming instincts and kick them to the curb before they've finished having their fun.

Sometimes the - for lack of a better word - Victim - needs to hear from others who have been through the same thing and emerged intact. Her ego is shredded, self-worth in tatters. Advice like "do something nice for yourself. Take a walk. Get a massage..." That's sound advice, but it doesn't provide much of a roadmap for the twisty, long journey of healing she faces.

OP - I was married to an utter waste of humanity for more than two decades. I was bright enough to recognize I was not the woman he described, but those messages get internalized after a time, and they pop up in unexpected places - Like my first post-divorce relationship, who was a user and manipulator on a scale that rivaled the ex-husband.

How did I stop missing Douche II? I realized that, throughout our entire association, there was never, ever a time when he cared for me. When my mind began to drift toward misty water-colored memories, I stopped and viewed those events through the eyes of a man who felt absolutely nothing - whose every sweet nothing was a lie. It took far, far, longer than it should have - Longer than I was actually with him - But now, the only sensations he engenders in me are nausea, contempt, and pity for his next victim.

Just remember. Everything your heart thinks it misses - never existed. It will take time, and it will keep hurting, but this pain is nothing compared to what he will inflict if you continue communicating with him. It sucks, but you will get through it, and he will eventually get what is coming to him
 ixtlan09
Joined: 12/12/2010
Msg: 47
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 1/26/2012 6:05:37 PM
Deep down inside, in your very heart of hearts, you know you are the worthless scum he told you you were, don't you? Haven't you figured out yet that he's the only one who would ever really care about you? Haven't you accepted your responsibility for screwing up the relationship yet? You know it was you who ruined things, too, don't you?
 Gertrude13
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 48
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 1/26/2012 6:31:08 PM
^^^Golly. I sure hope that post was meant to be ironic...Yikes
 ixtlan09
Joined: 12/12/2010
Msg: 50
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 1/27/2012 5:08:38 PM
^^^Golly. I sure hope that post was meant to be ironic...Yikes

It was said in sarcasm, Gertrude13. I figured if someone tells you how another person treated them so bad and then wraps it up with an out of the blue but I still love them and miss them maybe they needed to be reminded of why they left in the first place.
 amyllb
Joined: 4/30/2010
Msg: 51
view profile
History
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 1/28/2012 2:29:02 PM
I can relate to you as I lived with someone for many years who has a personality disorder plus turned into an addict. He is now in prison for arson from setting my house on fire after I broke it off. I have hated him for what he did to me and put me and my son through but I for a long time felt guilt and pity for him. I felt like maybe I could have helped him,done something different and I was actually blaming myself for his actions. It took time,I did go to therapy and that helped some,but its a change you have to make within. I actually wrote him and told him what he put me through how I felt and how he made me feel and let him know I remember that there were some good times and I will look back on them with a smile but I am no longer letting him or his behaviors have a hold on me. Once you can let go of that grip he has on you and realize you deserve a happy normal life then he will just be a memory. My advice dont bring another man into your life until you are healed and he isn't still pulling your emotional heart strings,it wouldnt be fair to the guy to have to pay for your ex's mistakes and it wont be fair to you to potentially miss out on a great relationship because you can't give it 100% Good luck and it gets better!
 Gertrude13
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 52
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 1/28/2012 2:38:21 PM

It was said in sarcasm, Gertrude13. I figured if someone tells you how another person treated them so bad and then wraps it up with an out of the blue but I still love them and miss them maybe they needed to be reminded of why they left in the first place.


Oh, good. That was kind of what I thought initially, but irony/sarcasm doesn't always transmit perfectly via pixel.

Yeah, vivid, clear-eyed recollection of the crap these freaks pulled is the very best way to keep from slipping back into the ooze.
 funseeker29
Joined: 1/15/2012
Msg: 53
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 1/28/2012 6:53:56 PM
I have been though this. Lived with and was engaged to a guy like that for 3 1/2 years. He was also recently diagnosed as Bo-polar. (go figure). Replace his a$$. I am trying to get over a player and you know what - they are narcissitic too! I am going to go out and have fun with a few of the men in my inbox. If you are a woman on this site, I know you have men in your inbox! Start chatting them up!
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