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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Does this make me a cougar?      Home login  
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 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 3
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Does this make me a cougar?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Not all, especially seeing that you share a common sense of maturity. I think a cougar is an older gal who deliberately chases after younger guys for their youth even if they aren't equals...
 oceaneyess
Joined: 2/21/2008
Msg: 4
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Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/3/2009 8:48:14 PM
I say go for it if you find that you have a lot in common. Some younger men have old souls and can be very mature. I know, I dated a 29 year old when I was 43. We were very happy and we were inseparable for 10 months. We stopped seeing each other, mainly because he wanted a child and I was done with that. but we are still friends.

Follow your heart. Take things slow and have fun.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 11
Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/3/2009 9:20:09 PM
Nope. Cougars hunt, and don't care about much else but age. If the prey walks up to you and starts talking, you're good.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 14
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Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/3/2009 9:47:36 PM

He let them all leave before he came over.


I don't get this part, was he not wanting his friends to see him talking to you or were his friends rowdy and he waited until the immaturity table left?

I wouldn't go there but I don't think you need my permission if you like him date him, but keep in mind that it is a big age difference in that he may be heading toward a wife and kids and you may be heading out of that sort of thing...not saying you are, just that it's the type of thing to think about if you are thinking anything more serious than a good fun.

Also, if your pictures on your profile are recent, and not touched up, I doubt anyone will think he is younger than you, you look 27.
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 15
Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/3/2009 10:07:31 PM
You are definately not a cougar, but I might call you a p****y if you let your friends comment get in the way of meeting your date on Wednesday.

I was going to ask you if you are new to POF, but I answered my own question when I looked at when you joined. The younger guys liking the more experienced and mature women is nothing new.

Have fun!
 Blue-Eyes-Shine
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 16
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Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/3/2009 10:19:20 PM
You look young. I think his interest is as genuine as any other man. Only time will tell...as with all men.

It definatley doesn't hurt to date him and get to know him. The friend is just jealous!
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 17
Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/3/2009 10:31:22 PM
I didn't think "cougar" until I checked out your profile. "Age between 25 and 45". If you're going to be a cougar, don't be a wimp - be proud. (and I'll laugh at you behind your back just like I do the guys, but don't let it bug you).
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 23
Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/4/2009 2:16:38 AM
the age range on your profile is from 25 to 45 he is within that ...yep cougar but who cares ...just dont whisper and point the next time you see a older guy with a young woman ...me thinks we should call dirty old men ..something else something as un offensive as cougar ...say maybe bob cat ...i mean a cougar is a beautiful graceful animal ..or we can just call you a dirty old woman ...you make the call just be fair
 beehearnow
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 28
Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/4/2009 7:24:19 AM
Personally, I just am not interested in men young enough to be my son, but if I were there would be plenty of opportunities.

I don't think that most people in developed nations think a person 13 years younger is young enough to be one's child. And, OP, I'd say it should be up to you, not your supposed "friend" whether or not you are comfortable with the whole thing

But...I'd like to pass this on: When I was in my early 30's I had a male friend who would often initiate liasions with women a decade or two older than him with one thing in mind. He told me he considered these adventures to be "mercy f%cks", his personal contribution to charity...
 Merrylass
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 29
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Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/4/2009 7:47:36 AM

Personally, I just am not interested in men young enough to be my son
um - only the most exceedingly precocious girls have sons when they're 12. A 12-year difference isn't that great, especially once you've become an adult. Really, all you old mommies honestly look at male humans you're not related to as though they're 'sons'? I think that's kind of sick. They're not little kids, they're grown adults.

I''m not a cougar; I'm just healthy, fit, energetic, and youthful in my outlook (for one thing, my opinions haven't all frozen never to be reviewed or altered again) and men younger than me are attracted to that. The youngest guy I've had a relationship with was 10 years younger - but, again, once you're both adults, the age differences aren't that evident if you share the same outlook, values, etc.

Go for it OP - but do realize that couples with age differences can break up if the younger one wants kids. If you've found one that doesn't want kids, then it could turn into a great relationship.
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 31
Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/4/2009 8:19:20 AM
I think you should do whatever you want? forget what "others" think about "you" and "your" life. I think this is a big problem in our society, we gauge our happiness on what other people think, so no it doesn't matter, a grown man approached a grown woman he was interested in, tell that friend of yours to shove it and date the guy if you like him.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 34
Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/4/2009 9:40:02 AM
I'd think about my choice in friends, honestly.
 ninjaeleven
Joined: 7/15/2009
Msg: 35
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Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/4/2009 9:40:51 AM
you should think it's a dead end road. that guy will end up with a 22 year old wife and kids.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 36
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Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/4/2009 9:44:21 AM
Yes, there's a word for people who don't do a thread search before posting, as we just did this exact same topic several days ago (<a href="http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts13187322.aspx">http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts13187322.aspx</a>) under a more appropriate section, but it's not "cougar".
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 38
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Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/4/2009 10:33:24 AM
Never mind, I'm not going to try to fix the whole thing after it messes up when you go to edit it. ACK!!!! What kind of lousy program is this edit feature set up on?
 lilpaco2
Joined: 4/20/2008
Msg: 41
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Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/4/2009 10:53:17 AM
If you are comfortable in this relationship then you should not care what others think. My son is with someone that is 10 years older than he, he is 24 and she is 34 she has two other sons and they have a 3 yr old (my sons by choice). He helped her through some very hard times and that grew into a relationship. They are now engaged.

As his mother I was apprehesive at first, however I always believed in their choices and got to know her and we are close now. My son has always been mature for his age and was not a party type of guy and he said alot of girls his age was hemce why their relationship grew. They have been together for 4 years.
 bikeman1467
Joined: 9/22/2009
Msg: 43
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Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/4/2009 11:03:00 AM
What will people think if we start dating and should it matter?
Who cares, and no.

I told my friend about him and how we shared alot of common interests and she made me feel insecure with that one comment.
Common interests are all that matters, and your friend is jealous.

I have never dated younger men than me so Im a little worried now.
Don't worry, be happy! Go for it!

Oh please, you are hanging out in a sports bar after being stood up...what hangs out there? 20 - 30 something guys. Why are you shocked one approached you? How many other 40 yo women were in there...or women in general? You just got stood up, so you were probably looking sad and pissed off. You were probably one of the only women in there so you were an easy target for a pick up. Sorry, it's true. Now go on and fvck him and when he doesn't text you back in a few days, come post back about your experience. If you go out more than once, it will be a fvck buddy situation since he doesn't want his friends to know about you.
Meow. Mew.

Guess you never heard of Buzztime trivia. It's a fun thing to do. Buzztime sites are predominantly in sports bars. Ohio is a big time Buzztime state. For ladies, it's an easy way to meet intelligent guys.
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 46
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Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/4/2009 12:09:24 PM
I dont' think people will even notice. Have an enjoyable time! My ex wife was 9 years older than me. It was all good.

:)
 CharmedinKtown
Joined: 5/25/2009
Msg: 49
Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/5/2009 12:47:45 PM
A cougar hunts... goes out to snag a youngun.

A milf or mature woman is pursued. OP... you rock, he thought you were IT and it sounds like you think the same.
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 56
Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/6/2009 5:10:39 AM
"I was at a sports bar playing trivia after getting stood up. After playing for about 1 1/2 hours a man came over and asked my name. He then introduced himself. I asked him to sit down and we talked for over an hour and laughed freely. I was very comfortable. Never once did he talk about sex or anything taboo. Anyway, right when I was getting ready to leave I asked him how old he was (I would have guessed early-mid 30's). He told me 27. It caught me off guard needless to say. He acted much older and seemed very mature and grounded. He was there with his softball team and had noticed me when I first walked in. He let them all leave before he came over. Neither of us had any alcohol. Im 39 almost 40. We have talked several times since and are planning on going out Wednesday. But now I feel funny because of what my friend said. What will people think if we start dating and should it matter? I told my friend about him and how we shared alot of common interests and she made me feel insecure with that one comment. I have never dated younger men than me so Im a little worried now."
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If you have to ask here, then yes - you're a cougar. Although 27 is young but not THAT young, but you might want to ask yourself how much future there is.
 1tf84
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 57
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Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/6/2009 12:04:35 PM
Prrrrrfect! No reason for you to hesitate in the least. I've dated a few older women over the years and based on those relationships, I'll take experience over youth anytime. From a practical standpoint; mutual interests, friends activities, for people in the 30 to 60 age range (middle aged) I'd say you can happily date withing about a 15 year range. I'm picturing a say age 45 woman and an age 30 man. NOT a 32 year old man and an 18 year old woman. the younger you are the smaller the age range.
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 62
Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/7/2009 3:21:29 PM
"A friend of a friend is 50 and seeing a 24 year old, they're having the time of their lives...enjoy!"
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Yeah, I'll bet that they have a lot in common. *laugh*
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 66
Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/7/2009 5:01:04 PM
"Would you be saying the same thing if a guy was 50 and a girl was 24?? I bet not. You'd pat him on the back...admit it. Grrrrr!! It's that double standard thing, which I despise."
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It's ridiculous. We all know what it's about - fuc-king and/or money, nothing else. I can only laugh when I hear about such things. Maybe it's time to break records here and start dating 12 year olds or why not 90 year olds at the nursing homes...
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 69
Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/8/2009 6:43:02 AM
"Also, I hate to burst your bubble, but for some people it's actually about liking the person and enjoying their company, whether they be younger or older. It's as simple as that, but I'm sure someone who appears to be as cynical as you are wouldn't understand that."
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*Laugh* Yeah yeah, I'm sure they have a lot in common there...
 WasabiGal
Joined: 8/10/2009
Msg: 70
Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/8/2009 7:36:09 AM
Am I the only one that is sick of the term cougar? I'm AMAZED some women find this to be a compliment.


it's not a compliment.... just a variation on derogatory terms for women, of which there are plenty. Cougar has been around for awhile, and now there are even more terms, such as puma.

There are no equivalent terms for men....even calling a man a "slut" does not connote the same level of distaste as calling a woman "slut"

Your friend is perhaps jealous, and the world order is apparently threatened if a woman is involved with a younger man (because, after all, the world order IS a man with a younger woman). So your friend, perhaps under the guise of humour, is reinforcing this view

I am not interested in large age differences, either older or younger. As for people saying it can't work out...well, how many of your relationshps have worked out? Geez. Relationships do not last forever, ever. One person is always left alone at some point.
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