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 Mr.Clean18
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 1
Credit card rejected on first date.Page 1 of 1    
Hi ladies .

I was on a date once,it was a first date and I wanted to make a good impression and she was the type of ladie who was use to being treated well so I took her to a fancy place to eat.After we ate and the bill came I used my credit card to pay and it was rejected.Thank god the waitress was good enuff to pull me off to the side and tell me without my date knowing,lol.Anyways,I called my brother and he came out right away with some cash and saved the day for me.
My question to you ladies is what would you have done if you found out your date couldn't pay and he had asked you out?Would you flip the bill(it was a little over a humdred bucks with tip) or would you expect him to make other arangements.

Thanks,xoxox...
 Mystie_Dragonfly
Joined: 4/8/2009
Msg: 2
Credit card rejected on first date.
Posted: 10/4/2009 1:36:08 PM
I would gladly pay my half... then ask him to never contact me again. The declined credit card would come across as him just not wanting to pay or that he wasn't all that interested in me in the first place. Also, I would get the impression that he is irresponsible about money as well. Who goes to a place like that without knowing the limit on their card is met and/or having a second possible pay option? The "special" place would end up just seeming like two friends meeting for dinner... and my friends do not play such cruel jokes.

I have already had too many men offer to take me somewhere nice, then when the bill comes... "forget" their wallet. I don't really have any more patience for any sort of money mess up.
 FluffyBrain
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 3
Credit card rejected on first date.
Posted: 10/4/2009 1:38:49 PM
op, i'd probably pay for it (lol what choice is there?? i guess we could have the restaurant throw us in jail!!!). i'd be feeling badly for you, but i'd also wonder if you had much on the ball. hard to explain, but it's not really the money thing...it's more like it somehow makes the guy seem as though he is sort of a showy bum. i frown on women who put on shows too. i kinda think & prefer to be around people who just have a lot going for them where it sort of softly speaks for itself.
 burnleybabe
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 4
Credit card rejected on first date.
Posted: 10/4/2009 1:40:39 PM
Well first of all I would question dating any one who has to be taken to some expensive restaurant in order to impress. I like to be treated well also, but that comes from the behaviour of my date, not the restaurant he chooses. Food is food.

But that aside - I always come on a date ready to pay my half...that's just good manners. However, if my date insisted on taking me to a place that was expensive and insisted on paying then he better make sure beforehand that he has the $$. I will be rather put aback to have to then shell out money because he couldn't be more mindful of his credit balance.

JMO
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 5
Credit card rejected on first date.
Posted: 10/4/2009 1:44:03 PM

Well op, You would have washed some dishes that night alone.
Are you trolling for a woman who would have paid for your date?

First I would not let a man I was not very familiar with spend that much on me.
I don't drink unless very special occasions, So unless they charge 25 bucks for an appetizer or salad, I would have taken care of my portion and said good bye.

Take cash or debit and go where you can afford to eat.

 thesilverdevil97
Joined: 8/8/2008
Msg: 6
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History
Credit card rejected on first date.
Posted: 10/4/2009 1:48:48 PM
Depends on why it was rejected. I keep only so much cash in my account and low limits on my credit cards to prevent serious trouble with ID theft. I keep the rest of my money behind the wall in a market market account that I can only transfer from or withdraw money from at the actual bank to protect myself. So, I have had things declined because I was lax in keeping track of what I had spent.

So I wouldn't get nuts about it. I would pay, but it would probably end things for me with him.

Why? Because when I am going into ANY situation where not being able to pay for something would be embarrassing, I take, you guessed it, CASH. And then carry my credit cards and debit card for backup.

Anyone who doesn't see what could happen and plan ahead at least that much, I won't be able to tolerate.
 Azalea7
Joined: 12/2/2008
Msg: 7
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History
Credit card rejected on first date.
Posted: 10/4/2009 1:49:05 PM
You have "rich" in your name and you have one credit card. You just blew your cover.
 Mr.Clean18
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 8
Credit card rejected on first date.
Posted: 10/4/2009 1:50:07 PM
No,lol,not trolling.Just wondering.
 zephyrmoon1
Joined: 9/25/2009
Msg: 9
Credit card rejected on first date.
Posted: 10/4/2009 1:51:45 PM
I don't know. If he had represented himself to me as being "Big and Rich," and then insisted on going to a fancy, expensive place -- I would have suggested something more affordable -- then I'd pay, but probably wouldn't go out with him again.

Rich peoples' credit cards aren't usually turned down. And they usually have more than one. And since you're the one advertising yourself as "rich," it would seem pretty contradictory if you didn't have the funds to pay for a hundred-dollar dinner.
 ffryan
Joined: 10/10/2005
Msg: 10
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History
Credit card rejected on first date.
Posted: 10/4/2009 2:24:01 PM
I was on a date once when my credit card was rejected. I'd not had my debit card with me. Thankfully I knew the manager as I was a fairly frequent customer and he said he'd hold onto the bill and I could come back to pay it. I noticed an change in the demeanor of my date. I took her home afterwards, and noticed she was not very chatty. I never heard from her again, even after leaving a few messages for her. I can only assume this was as a result of her thinking I was broke and unable to pay my bills. I know that money was important to her and this probably made a bad impression. When I got home I called my credit card company and straightened things out. They'd frozen my account because of questionable transactions that had been billed to my card. Apparently somebody in Alberta was illegally using my card and my provider caught it. They'd also left a voice mail minutes after they froze the account. I still had plenty of money in all my accounts and could have paid for dinner a hundred times over. The restaurant manager had a bit of a chuckle over it too. I think it's funny that my date stopped speaking to me because she was under the impression that I was broke.

Ladies, be careful about the conclusions you draw.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 11
Credit card rejected on first date.
Posted: 10/4/2009 2:30:34 PM
This happened to my date the first time we went out--so I paid. He was (justifiably) embarrassed, but it wasn't any huge deal to me. We ended up dating for a while, in the end.

You know what? Before I got on these Forums, I had NO IDEA money meant so much to people! Both men and women seem preoccupied--and unhealthily so--with finances. Who pays, who should pay and WHY YOU MUST RATIONALIZE WHY, the implications on character if someone DOESN'T pay, etc. In my real life, I have only known ONE person who seems unrealistically worried about money. Sure, we all "care" about money--I would love to win the Lotto, for instance--and I'd hate to be destitute. But, jeez! People on HERE get all out of shape over $5
 hudson46
Joined: 2/23/2009
Msg: 12
Credit card rejected on first date.
Posted: 10/4/2009 2:36:11 PM
I would pay my half, and think that you were an idiot for not checking your funds and stuff, I would see you as a poor planner.

I recently went on a lunch date with someone from pof, and a few things turned me o ff about him. First he forgot the time of the date, I called him 5 mins before we were supposed to be at the restaurant he he said that he thought the date was at 2, but it was a t 11. ( the day before the date I sent him a confirmation message on pof) Second, the place of the date did not open until 4, so needless to say that when I got there it was closed. Third, ( now mind you he chose the venue) . He called me while on his way to ask me what the address of the restaurant was, lol. He got lost on the way. By the time he got to the place we ended up eating at it was 1:30, the only reason I didnt leave was because I was hungry and I had travelled so far to get there. You ask was he worth the wait, NO!
 talista
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 13
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Credit card rejected on first date.
Posted: 10/4/2009 2:36:18 PM
I agree with the other women.

I always have enough on me whether in the bank or in cash to pay for myself, and I would especially on a first date. If that scenario played out definitely I would be paying for myself and out of there.

I would never get a guy to take me to an expensive restaurant on a first date. That is just rude. Half of the time I pay for my own on the first date whether it is just a coffee or lunch, because I do not want to feel badly about the outcome. If a guy wanted to take me somewhere expensive and couldn't afford it; then that is just downright fishy. Especially with an alias with yours OP.
 hudson46
Joined: 2/23/2009
Msg: 14
Credit card rejected on first date.
Posted: 10/4/2009 2:44:12 PM
I see your point, but we, people that is, have to make some sort of judgement call. Sometimes we are right sometimes we are wrong.
 SassySky
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 15
Credit card rejected on first date.
Posted: 10/4/2009 3:20:39 PM
I actually had this happen while on vacation, I had over 1200 worth of purchases on the counter and card rejected... I am like no way...I keep a zero balance on all my cards. I used my debit instead.Called the Card company before I was even to the car. Their answer, I hadn't used it in such along time and for a large purchase...They weren't sure it was me...Yeah right... I was really ticked. I also learned a valuable lesson, when and if you dont' use your cards regularly, check with companies before using them.

Problem solved, what I would do if this happened on a date, well I always carry enough to cover my portion of the bill. If I had to I would pay for the date. I would not expect payment for his share, I would also be a bit hesitant to do it again... Unless it was just a glitch.

I think in all of this I am more bothered that you felt you had to take this person to a higher class of dining that you would normally do. To me that is just phony and putting on airs...

Sadly the later would be the turn off for me.
 P.R.Handgrenade69
Joined: 4/10/2009
Msg: 16
Credit card rejected on first date.
Posted: 10/4/2009 3:24:16 PM
Always check your available credit and how much you are going to spend on the date as opposed to how much you need available to you for your other needs during the week.
 sbee91
Joined: 3/29/2009
Msg: 17
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Credit card rejected on first date.
Posted: 10/4/2009 3:33:19 PM
i worked as a personal banker for awhile and during the Heartland Scandal-i know many people had their cards rejected with no forewarning-so i can be sympathetic....alas-always try to have a back up plan.......

i think the other ladies have an excellent point about trying to be something u think the ladies want u to be...a first date should never be too extravagant....i think it shows ur just trying too hard to impress with doesn't sit well with me.....
 Silent Steel
Joined: 2/18/2009
Msg: 18
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Credit card rejected on first date.
Posted: 10/4/2009 3:34:35 PM
The answers that have been posted to this question, tell the sad tale of just how far out of touch we are as human beings.

The first assumption seems to be that in such a scenario, the person must somehow be irresponsible. There are times when sh1t happens that are beyond someones control, and to automatically assume the worst in someone is really only judging that person by the actions of someone in your past, most likely.

I was at a gas station a couple of years ago, and there was a beautiful woman in a fancy car, who was unable to buy gas due to some problem with her card. I paid for her gas that day just cause it was the right thing to do. She must have gotten my phone number off the side of my truck, because I didnt give it to her that day, but her husband called me later that night to thank me for being so kind to his wife. Her husband was Ted Nuggent, and I would be almost certain that there was no finacial problems going on there.
 Canadianstud
Joined: 6/6/2008
Msg: 19
Credit card rejected on first date.
Posted: 10/4/2009 3:36:38 PM
hmmmm OP did it ever occur to you to BRING MONEY? that might have been a good idea
 dbguy79
Joined: 5/7/2009
Msg: 20
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Credit card rejected on first date.
Posted: 10/4/2009 3:50:08 PM
You have "rich" in your name and you have one credit card. You just blew your cover.


I have one credit card too and I could buy a car on it. Since when did lots of credit cards mean you have means?
 Dancing_4_You
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 21
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Credit card rejected on first date.
Posted: 10/4/2009 3:57:24 PM
first of all, i don't go on fancy first dates with someone i don't know. second, it has happened to me, that for various administrative reasons, my cards have been denied, with "no" reflection on my credit. usually, we call the credit card company right there, we verify a few secret passwords (in private) and it is settled. taking a second card with american express is no help, if the vendor doesn't accept it.

i would use my instincts. but, i would have to "have" it in my account, to pay it. i would expect back his half, if we agreed to both go and i hadn't stressed that it wasn't a priority in my budget. if i had insisted that i could not pay for something very expensive, i would expect back the whole thing, as i would have gone to make him happy --not me. my days of wining and dining were extensive in my career, so i don't really need this anymore, unless something special or treated by someone who does have the money. most of my friends and dates do not. we just take turns paying "reasonably".

if in a supermarket like above or in a gas station, i've fronted money for people in trouble, when my instincts told me it was needed or okay. if not much, when asked how to repay, i've suggested to "pass it on". that usually brings a big smile and a knowing. i then am confident that my good deed will multiply.

as to judging your character if the credit card company won't handle it (eg you haven't paid your bill) and you don't pay me back? i'd say you are a manipulator or very ad/hd. i once helped out a pof guy who claimed to be ill. he turned into a raving and ranting angry man. i bowed out gracefully and learned that lesson. i was able to forgive, because clearly he was quite ill, just in another way than represented. since i had sent him a food card, it didn't bother me that much.

ps "big and rich" would not impress me. usually those who have, do not brag. if you really want to impress a woman, i'd suggest cleaning up the profile spelling first. if dyslexic, have a friend do it.
 LastFrogToKiss
Joined: 4/21/2009
Msg: 22
Credit card rejected on first date.
Posted: 10/4/2009 4:05:05 PM
Jeeezzz!!!
Never make any assumptions from a declined credit card charge!
I use my main credit card for business and average $5,000 a month in charges which I pay off entirely every month.

Even with that history, I sometimes have a credit card charge declined. Why? The credit card company has electronic triggers that deactivate a card on suspicion of fraud. For example, if there is a huge surge in spending, the system deactivates the card on fear that the card is stolen and the thieves are going on a spending spree. There have been times that I have made a large number of large purchases in a short period of time and triggered the deactivation. In one incident, my credit card number was stolen and the nature of the charges tripped the deactivation. In one other incident, the merchant’s credit card reader failed. I would also assume that a scratch or bend in the card might cause the scanner to fail.

Knowing this, I always carry a backup debit card and usually a fair amount of cash. However, the declines are still embarrassing and have nothing to do with my character or financial responsibility. I carry the extra card and cash with me because I've experienced the phenomena. But, there is a first time for everyone.
 lovemesomemen
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 23
Credit card rejected on first date.
Posted: 10/4/2009 4:06:28 PM
No big deal. It happens. I'd pay. I wouldn't think less of you. I wouldn't make any assumptions. I would, of course, demand you put out after wards though. Isn't that how it works? Now, if it happened a 2nd time, then there'd be something to make me go hmmmm.
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