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 AUTHOR
 newOracle
Joined: 9/24/2009
Msg: 3
What to do?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
You two have met a few times, then suddenly he became shy? and scared to meet again?
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 5
What to do?
Posted: 10/5/2009 10:03:38 AM

Okay so I met this guy on POF and we have met a few times. He lives out of town, and is crazy busy with harvest.


This time of year...they have to work when they can. I don't doubt for a minute he is crazy busy.

I'd say back off a bit until harvest is over...let him know that he can take you somewhere warm to make up for it and not make further plans until he is sure to follow through.

In the meantime...don't hold your breath as many of these things go South.
 newOracle
Joined: 9/24/2009
Msg: 6
What to do?
Posted: 10/5/2009 10:03:57 AM
He wasn't shy to meet you then!
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 7
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History
What to do?
Posted: 10/5/2009 10:09:41 AM
I'd put him out of my mind, he may not like how interested you are, and live my life. If he's interested he'll show up, if he never shows up, why waste your time. After awhile you will forget him, but if you hound him, act like the desperate chaser, you still won't get him but you will have scared him away and embarrassed yourself, so go on as you were before you met him and don't do the crazy fantasy of what-ifs. If he was actually interested, you know he'd be finding the time for you.
 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 8
What to do?
Posted: 10/5/2009 10:16:09 AM
He's busy. Go get busy yourself with other things for a while. If he gets over being busy, then go out, but right now while things are hectic for him, don't sweat him.

I hate when people get all hung up on a guy, and worry themselves sick when there are so many things to do other than sit around waiting for a phone call or a text. Plus there are so many other men on this site that WON'T stand you up or cancel, why worry about this guy?

Get out and enjoy yourself, don't worry about this guy!
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 11
What to do?
Posted: 10/5/2009 10:32:29 AM
The guy lives in a prairie province and guess what??...it's harvest time. Also guess what??...if you got into a full blown relationship with him, this would happen every single year. If he makes plans and has to cancel them because of it, it's up to you to decide if you can deal with not having the attention you seek or move on. The guy sounds responsible about his form of livelihood. It may be best for you to find someone who has a different profession because it's simply not going to change from year to year. Maybe you could make plans to help in whatever way you can. You'd be learning something different at the same time as getting to know him better on his own turf.
 reboot1010
Joined: 3/9/2009
Msg: 14
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What to do?
Posted: 10/5/2009 11:00:24 AM
Identify what he's harvesting and you may clear up some issues.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 15
What to do when someone keeps canceling plans ?
Posted: 10/5/2009 11:01:00 AM
Sounds like it's a lousy time to start a relationship, to me. Men like to say how logical they are and stuff, but this sort of thing always defies logic. He may actually "really like you", but not have the time to put in the effort. As someone else mentioned, it will be like this every year.

I'm not sure I would dump him, but it's not fair for him to keep you on a string, either. I would say something like, "I like you, but it isn't fair to keep pulling the rug out from under me. Why don't you call me on a night when you DO have time? Maybe I'll be free at the same time, then we can get toether."
And I would consider us "not dating", and go on with my life.
 bikeman1467
Joined: 9/22/2009
Msg: 19
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What to do when someone keeps canceling plans ?
Posted: 10/5/2009 11:36:58 AM

He lives out of town, and is crazy busy with harvest. But lately he is cancelling the plans that we have already made. He texts me and calls me, and still makes plans and wants to meet, but then cancels at the last minute.
Harvest Schmarvest. So let's see, married farmers ignore their wives during "harvest"? C'mon. Granted he's busy, but are we saying farmers are incapable of giving themselves a couple of spare hours during "harvest" and spending those couple of hours with a romantic partner?

If you give him the benefit of a doubt, clearly put the ball in his court, tell him to call you when his "harvest" activities aren't interfering with his personal life. I say it's a sign that the dude's grain elevator isn't reaching the top of his silo.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 23
What to do when someone keeps canceling plans ?
Posted: 10/5/2009 12:03:47 PM
OP
I come from a farming background, so I can understand "crazy busy". That said, I've also had some experience with Adventures in Modern Dating.
My suggestion would be that you suggest to this man that any attempts to plan a date be suspended until he has time to BREATHE...if you want to keep in contact via email, phone, smoke signals, jungle drums, or corn mazes that spell out each other's names when viewed from the air, that's fine.
But at the same time I think you need to consider that this may not work out, and keep your other options open.
Cindy O
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 24
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What to do when someone keeps canceling plans ?
Posted: 10/5/2009 12:07:27 PM
Wait til harvest season is done. Be aware that harvest season comes every year and it is a nutso time of year.
Don't make plans during harvest season... keep things loose.

Be aware that he might be the type of guy who is well intentioned but then life gets in the way. << If this bugs you, let him know and find a way to resolve it which is either 1. move on or 2. Him be more responsible (rather than living in wishful thinking) with the plans he makes and only makes plans that he knows he can keep or 3. Don't make plans in advance during harvest season; do everything last minute as his schedule/energy allows.

It takes flexibility to be with someone whose life is dictated by a schedule.
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 32
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What to do when someone keeps canceling plans ?
Posted: 10/5/2009 3:44:56 PM
Let him know you like him but you have a problem with someone who cancel plans like he just did. Let him know you dont value others who cancel as such. If the behavior continues the next time he wants to make plans tell him your busy but use a calendar for a day you are available. If he thinks your seeing someone else on a day he wants he may think twice about canceling.
 Boots168
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 35
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What to do when someone keeps canceling plans ?
Posted: 10/5/2009 4:57:18 PM
What to do when someone keeps canceling plans ? ... Is he just shy and scared to meet again??

You've already met A FEW TIMES and he STILL makes plans but then cancels at the last minute, how shy can he be? Scared? Of what? Who? Don't kid yourself.
I've got four words for you: WRITE HIM OFF ALREADY
 Southernbelle1953
Joined: 8/19/2009
Msg: 37
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What to do when someone keeps canceling plans ?
Posted: 10/5/2009 6:05:24 PM
I hope he's not the cowboy from iowa, because it aint crops he" harvesting it's lot's of other women on here. He's the best player & liar u would ever want to meet. Better find u one that aint into "havesting".
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 43
What to do when someone keeps canceling plans ?
Posted: 10/6/2009 10:41:00 AM

I had something happen to me like that. I have trust issue. I come from nyc. and after 8 months with this guy ,he told me he will be real busy for a few days. sorry honey,I said bye bye. don't need no liars around


Please tell me that there is something more to this story. All you wrote is you went out with this guy for 8 months and he let you know he was going to be busy for a couple of days. Next thing was bye bye and he's a liar?
 Sabrosura
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 46
What to do when someone keeps canceling plans ?
Posted: 10/6/2009 10:57:58 AM
OP: If you've met already, I doubt he's "shy/scared". How long does this harvest season last?
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 52
What to do when someone keeps canceling plans ?
Posted: 10/6/2009 3:35:58 PM
passionnurse said:


every time I asked him a question concerning his private life he would sayhe doesn't have to answer to anyone.so instead of going through that again bye bye


Now it makes sense. Bye Bye was the way to go.
 SASSYN89178
Joined: 2/19/2007
Msg: 56
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What to do when someone keeps canceling plans ?
Posted: 10/7/2009 12:05:04 AM
Does he 'harvest' after 7 or 8 pm at night?
It's enough with the texting. Geez what did people do before they could text someone.
When is the 'harvest' season over? That will be your answer.
Have you told him you would like more notice if he's going to cancel so that you can make OTHER PLANS?
 sexytanish
Joined: 1/27/2008
Msg: 61
What to do when someone keeps canceling plans ?
Posted: 10/8/2009 5:37:58 PM
He's not into you and does. Not. Know how. To tell you. I bet he's. Still on pof. Behind. Your. Back still. Seeking girls.
 Stafford_Jim
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 64
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What to do when someone keeps canceling plans ?
Posted: 10/8/2009 9:06:30 PM

What to do when someone keeps canceling plans ?


That's an easy one to answer, stop making plans with them.

I don't have time to waste on people who don't have any consideration for the fact that I plan, rearrange my life, and make myself available to agreed upon events.
 Sweetlilmeee
Joined: 6/24/2007
Msg: 65
What to do when someone keeps canceling plans ?
Posted: 10/8/2009 9:08:09 PM
Talk to him about it and maybe forget about him or give him some time to deal with his own busy life for now.
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 66
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What to do when someone keeps canceling plans ?
Posted: 10/8/2009 10:28:52 PM
I agree if the harvest is busy, he should never have scheduled a date, but asked for one when he would of known the season would be over. The fact that hes playing hot cold, ie. last minute cancel means he doesnt have enough respect for her time. I think what is in order for her is to be imature and do the same thing to him so he can learn from the experience. And I mean last minute cancel just as he did to her. If the guy learns then possibly she should consider it as retribution and then move foward from there. It may make her feel better for turning the table but the guy needs to learn and who better to do such but the one he victimized.
What to do when someone keeps canceling plans ?
Posted: 1/17/2012 2:56:43 AM
4 get people like that
 christyis4real
Joined: 7/6/2011
Msg: 73
What to do when someone keeps canceling plans ?
Posted: 1/17/2012 8:04:43 AM
When he tries to make plans again, tell him you are not making any plans until that day (The day he wants to go out). Or....if he tries to make plans, Tell him you'll let him know if you are busy or not that day and you'll get back to him.

If you know he is crazy busy with harvest, why are you stressing over it so bad? Go about your business and your life. Hey, date a little more! Then when you are both not busy...go out.
 Purple_wings
Joined: 1/13/2012
Msg: 75
What to do when someone keeps canceling plans ?
Posted: 1/17/2012 4:53:11 PM
People on POF are like magicians..not that i ever met anyone here but almost did once but then disappeared,,ever since then i think 99.9% people here are fake..
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