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 bowlingfordates
Joined: 7/3/2008
Msg: 1
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Moving InPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I would like to discuss a hypothetical situation. For instance your boyfriend or girlfriend asks you to move in with them. They want to just jump into it without discussing it beond the emotional level, but you want to discuss the financial part of it too before moving in.

Here are my questions...............................
- What is the best way to go about moving in with someone?
-How do you avoid having fights later on about money issues?
 lacey0258
Joined: 5/12/2009
Msg: 2
Moving In
Posted: 10/6/2009 3:18:08 PM
How long have you known each other? Is this just a friend with benefits or a significant other?
If you are "roommates" then the bills are split down the middle and you each have your own bedrooms.
If it is a significant other, then written arrangements (contracts) as to who is paying for what and for how long. Contracts can always be updated if the situation changes.
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 3
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Moving In
Posted: 10/6/2009 3:19:33 PM
Its very easy, just say before you consider the idea of moving in we have to sit down with paper and ink and discuss the financial aspects of household responsabilities. The issue is who ever does the moving into the others place, means you have to figure a way to give up your present living arangements and the fact that person now has to secure what happens if things dont work out regarding living arrangements. Decide between the two of you what happens then, you might want to cosign a lease there fore no on is obligated to move instantaniously. Although a fraudulent phone call to the authority can put a crease in that too.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 4
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Moving In
Posted: 10/6/2009 7:08:03 PM
I wouldn't want to move in with someone who acted that immature/secretive/dumb.
 Brian1342
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 5
Moving In
Posted: 10/6/2009 7:31:15 PM
The majority of folks who shack before shackle (marriage) usually end up divorced. If you want hard numbers, google, then check all the news sites.

I would not recommend moving in until marriage.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 6
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Moving In
Posted: 10/6/2009 8:34:23 PM
By talking these things through before hand, particularly if there is a significant difference in the amount of money you make. Some people believe it is appropriate to split things down the middle, others may believe that if one person earns substantially more, it would be a more equitable situation if they factored that into the portion of bills each person is paying.

What things are considered common bills, someone who doesn't really watch television may not be jazzed about paying the satellite bill. Do you need down time? How do you prefer to clean, keeping up with things daily or letting it slide a bit and hitting things on Saturday. You are much better off figuring out whether you are polar opposites in this area before you move in. I had a room mate about 20 years ago. She was like Hitler with the cleaning, it had to be when she decided to clean, wtf, I felt like I had moved back in with my mother. She was my best friend at the time and living together nearly trashed that relationship and I can only imagine what living with a man who was similar would have been like, with the added emotional intimacy on top of it.

If someone doesn't want to think beyond the we feel great let's play house, wait until their head is out of their butt before even considering it.
Moving In
Posted: 10/6/2009 8:44:34 PM
i don't want to move in with anyone unless i am married. not interested in playing house. i have heard the expression uttered "if i get tired of so-and-so i'll just move in with someone else" sounds kinda cheap to me.
 Greyfeld
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 8
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Moving In
Posted: 10/6/2009 9:32:03 PM
Don't give her the key. She can't move in if she can't get in.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 9
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Moving In
Posted: 10/6/2009 9:38:16 PM
I have to agree with m church on this one. move in on neutral ground, not her place and not your place. Get a new place together

oh and always discuss the finances first.
 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 10
Moving In
Posted: 10/6/2009 10:09:08 PM
There's no way in hell I'd ever marry anyone without living with them first. I wanna know where they throw their socks and underwear, and if they pee on the seat or leave the lid up habitually. LOL

As for finances, I believe that you should divide the bills by the percentage of income you bring into the home. Whoever makes more should be able to pay a larger portion of the bills, that is only fair.

Household obligations should be discussed as well. I love to cook, but I hate to clean. I love a clean house, though, so I'd appreciate a bit of help in keeping things clean. I don't mind laundry or dishes, so that stuff is fine, he can take care of the cars and lawn.

But I don't need a band on my finger to make me happy. A big diamond wouldn't hurt, LOL, but the band I can do without!

Beth
 bowlingfordates
Joined: 7/3/2008
Msg: 11
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Moving In
Posted: 10/7/2009 8:40:12 AM
They hypothetical situation has been discussed and resolved with mutual satisfaction. All the cleaning habits and other factors were all compatible, since being there about 6 days a week for 2 months. The problem was just semantics but we are on the same inked page now.

Moving in with her would only be temporary until we saved enough to get a bigger place together.

Thanks for all of the replies............
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