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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Should you still see someone even if they lied to you on the 1st date?      Home login  
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 FalconV
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 1
Should you still see someone even if they lied to you on the 1st date?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I recently went on a date with a nice lady. We met at a local coffee shop and I was first to arrive. We both had stated that we would wear something so we knew who we both were. I was wearing a black turtleneck sweater, since the weather in IL is getting cold and black pants. She was to wear a nice blue/white Blouse and a long skirt.

Finally, she arrived 10 min late and she walked toward my table. I stood up to greet her but she looked different than her pics she sent me, and a bit shorter.

We talked and one thing I noticed off the bat was a tan line on her ring finger. Also she would stammer when I would ask her when did she graduate college. Her cell phone would go off from time to time and she would answer it. Finally I had to come clean and asked her how old she really was, was she married and why is she answering the phone alot.

She said the following, " I know I told you I am 35 but I am really 46, I am separated and the phone is going off cause my babysitter wanted to know when will I be home." She is a nice person but I know in my mind I will not be able to be with someone who lied to me.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 2
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Should you still see someone even if they lied to you on the 1st date?
Posted: 10/12/2009 1:54:47 PM
So she lied to you about everything...but she's a nice lady Just how does that work? Either have an affair with this liar and get what you can or walk away and stop pretending that liars are really nice people, but....
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 3
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Should you still see someone even if they lied to you on the 1st date?
Posted: 10/12/2009 2:06:48 PM
I just read this statistic: there are eight times as many 29-year-old women than 30- to 34-year-old women on dating sites, according to a study.

Virtually everyone lies a little, most don't even realize it, and most lies are for social lubrication rather than to deceive or harm.
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 4
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Should you still see someone even if they lied to you on the 1st date?
Posted: 10/12/2009 2:10:07 PM
I would say let it go. She's not lying about a year or so, but almost a decade. She obviously has issues, if this is where the lies start, where do they end.


Oh, and the whole married thing.



:facepalm:
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 5
Should you still see someone even if they lied to you on the 1st date?
Posted: 10/12/2009 2:15:40 PM

but I know in my mind I will not be able to be with someone who lied to me.


If you know this already why the post? Why are we having this conversation? Definately let her know why and that had she been honest about everything you probably would have seen her anyway.
 WasabiGal
Joined: 8/10/2009
Msg: 6
Should you still see someone even if they lied to you on the 1st date?
Posted: 10/12/2009 2:35:04 PM
it's the magnitude of the lies.... No guy has ever been accurate about his height, so then I wouldn't be in a relationship if I dumped every guy for not being truthful about his height

but taking 11 years off your age? no, that's going to be a dealbreaker

as well as lying about your marital status... I wouldn't want to date someone who is separated....there's still too much crap for them to work through

so don't feel guilty about telling her that you're not interested....and you could tell her that she should be more honest in her profile...she's wasting your time and her time
 singleagain66
Joined: 12/29/2007
Msg: 7
Should you still see someone even if they lied to you on the 1st date?
Posted: 10/12/2009 3:15:10 PM

Finally, she arrived 10 min late and she walked toward my table.

So what she is ten mens late could have traffice you are in IL right


We talked and one thing I noticed off the bat was a tan line on her ring finger.

Red Flag # 1


Her cell phone would go off from time to time and she would answer it.

Ok her cell rings but if she had kids and you knew then it's kinda natural its there mother or she is very popular or something


She said the following, " I know I told you I am 35 but I am really 46

Red Flag #2 but then again she should have not lied about her age but thats what Most Females do so move on with that


I am separated

Red Flag #3


She is a nice person but I know in my mind I will not be able to be with someone who lied to me.

How can someone You Said Lied be a nice person because in my book most people and thats if they are nice will not lie to you and I did say Most People will not lie.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 8
Should you still see someone even if they lied to you on the 1st date?
Posted: 10/12/2009 3:19:32 PM

Virtually everyone lies a little, most don't even realize it, and most lies are for social lubrication rather than to deceive or harm.

Shading your age by 11 years is way too much grease.
Hmmm, separated lady,who is really 11 yrs older than she initially represented herself to be...she's 46 and has a child or children young enough to require a babysitter?

Look, if social dating is all you want, that's fine. Don't sign anything,but.
But if you are looking to build a significant other type of relationship,this sounds like it's gonna be some serious drama. Starting out with the fact that she's so desperate to date that she claims to be 11 years younger than she actually is.
Cindy O
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 9
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Should you still see someone even if they lied to you on the 1st date?
Posted: 10/12/2009 3:30:48 PM
Because no one in real life lies and cheats and dates under false pretences.
 red_relaxed
Joined: 7/18/2007
Msg: 10
Should you still see someone even if they lied to you on the 1st date?
Posted: 10/12/2009 3:41:31 PM

She was to wear a nice blue/white Blouse and a long skirt.

Did she?


Or did she lie about that too?
 red_relaxed
Joined: 7/18/2007
Msg: 11
Should you still see someone even if they lied to you on the 1st date?
Posted: 10/12/2009 4:07:56 PM

They always Lie about their age the way they look who they are and so much more, in which studies have show by the Kingsly institute that North American women have the greats insecurities in the World. Figments of their own Lovely imaginations as the Study concluded.

Couldn't find your Kingsly Institute, nor the study you have cited which says women always lie about our age, the way we look and so much more.
How's that ball cap and sunglasses disguise working for you buddy?
I for one would be interested to read this Kingsly Institute woman bashing study if you would be as so kind as to post a link. Thanks in advance.
 girlred228
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 12
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Should you still see someone even if they lied to you on the 1st date?
Posted: 10/12/2009 4:27:50 PM
And you gotta ask.. she lied about everything.. and if you buy into this.. just open yourself up for more lies... and lies and lies...
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 13
Should you still see someone even if they lied to you on the 1st date?
Posted: 10/12/2009 4:34:38 PM

^^^^^^^^ I just went through your profile talk about being full of yourself.

The Study is very real on the Insecurities of North American Women, so deal with it.
Shows how much you really know, but just being a Old Mother Hen and assuming like many women typically do, sounds about right to me.


If they are insecure, it's because they've had one too many encounters with guys like this.

I have nothing to hide my ass is much smaller and firmer then 3/4 of all women on POF,
.
Dude, you must have one helluva small head then,can't think how else you'd have got it where it is.
Cindy O
 girlred228
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 14
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Should you still see someone even if they lied to you on the 1st date?
Posted: 10/12/2009 4:39:05 PM
Generalities will get you nowhere.. all women don't lie about their age... I am 40 and get asked all the time.. about it.. because I am not sure how old I look... but people ask me all the time are the pics recent.. UHHH>> yeah.. they are...
 Dare to
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 15
Should you still see someone even if they lied to you on the 1st date?
Posted: 10/12/2009 5:11:20 PM
Lied about her age..
Lied about her marital status...
Lied about her height....
Didn't look like her pics....

I wouldn't have even finished the date if i met a guy who did that.. PASS.......
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 16
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Should you still see someone even if they lied to you on the 1st date?
Posted: 10/12/2009 6:08:13 PM
Then what is the point of this thread if you know the answer?
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 17
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Should you still see someone even if they lied to you on the 1st date?
Posted: 10/12/2009 7:43:34 PM
Short answer: No!
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 18
Should you still see someone even if they lied to you on the 1st date?
Posted: 10/12/2009 8:02:35 PM

I lied on mine..I admit it..I'm actually 5'8" .

I wrote 5'7"...

so what...


If it's no big deal, then what not just say you are 5'8"? The message you are sending is it's not important to tell the truth.
 skier51
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 19
Should you still see someone even if they lied to you on the 1st date?
Posted: 10/12/2009 8:48:18 PM
Run like the wind!!!!!
 Super_Eve
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 20
Should you still see someone even if they lied to you on the 1st date?
Posted: 10/12/2009 8:51:03 PM
Thinly disguised as a "nice-guy" thread.

I met one guy off of here, and he was really fat. His pictures were, like, really old.

Oh well. I guess the grocery store is the best place to meet men...
 Stafford_Jim
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 21
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Should you still see someone even if they lied to you on the 1st date?
Posted: 10/12/2009 9:09:07 PM
Little white lies out of nervousness? Ok.

Major lies about her age, marital status, parent status, etc? NO!
 TodaysCatch
Joined: 4/12/2008
Msg: 22
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Should you still see someone even if they lied to you on the 1st date?
Posted: 10/12/2009 10:16:31 PM
OP, think about the other men she could hoodwink in the future, and do the right thing. If you simply stop seeing her, she'll just keep living that honest life of hers. You should channel your inner player and mess with her. Make promises you don't keep, double book dates (that's why she was late and the sitter was calling - she'd been gone all afternoon with other guys), and misrepresent everything about yourself. Tell her you're in love with her by the third date. You can end it by standing her up on a school night - that oughta put a bee in her bonnet, and make her think twice about pulling someone's chain in the future.

Snarfblatt had it right - if you're gonna lie (and according to this thread, everyone does), at least make it convincing, and employ sufficient common sense so that your deception isn't easily discovered, unless that's your desire. Plenty of my liberal friends defended Bill Clinton's indiscretions, claiming that "lots" of politicians have had dalliances, so he shouldn't have been the object of so much criticism. That wasn't the point, I would correct them. He's just a bad liar, and not good at even setting himself up well. Think about just one of his trysts - Monica had to be signed in at the White House to come see him. That's poor judgment for anyone, and especially for the supposed leader of the free world, who might have found himself in a high stakes (read: nuclear) poker game and not have been able to bluff effectively.
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 23
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Should you still see someone even if they lied to you on the 1st date?
Posted: 10/13/2009 1:05:05 AM
The fact that it was your first date and everything up to this point was based on a lie should preclude any further involvement. Relationships based on lies have no future.
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 24
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Should you still see someone even if they lied to you on the 1st date?
Posted: 10/13/2009 9:38:51 AM
Compulsive liers have issues that can be serious and usually dont have the sense that they have a problem such as seeking professional help for such a problem. People that have a habbit of not telling the truth or tell numberous lies are on a similar path because they seem to think thier behavior is normal that everyone does it which is only justification to carry on the same behavior of concealing. I have a brother that resorts to lying when he confronted with issues or certian questions. What he doesnt realize is most people eventually realize that he lies and dont take his word as being seriously or doubt him in the future. Thats what happens to people who lie others stop taking them seriously and they become avoided.

A childhood story which most of you remember is the boy that cried wolf. People were concerned when he cried wolf, he did it to caring people and he repeated three times. After doing it one to many times others stopped taking him for his word and honesty but when he needed assistance and on the final call, when it mattered, no one would respond to the call of Wolf and the wolf killed the boy. "Fool me once shame on you , fool me twice shame on me."
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 25
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Should you still see someone even if they lied to you on the 1st date?
Posted: 10/13/2009 10:22:37 AM
Yes I will see a person on a second date, as long as I am not a victim of their lies, whether he lied about his age etc..80 % of people that I met lied not just dates^ lied all the times, even on just exchanging pleasantries or experiences ,they lied...

What is important to me is they LIED FIRST then afterwards they tell the truth..
Not the tell the TRUTH FIRST ,then afterwards they lied... That is scary lol.....

P.S. I have a book on how to detect a person who is telling a lie...
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Should you still see someone even if they lied to you on the 1st date?