Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Confidence      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 LangloisJ
Joined: 2/28/2007
Msg: 1
view profile
History
ConfidencePage 1 of 1    
How do you go about boosting your own confidence?
I am curious because I feel I am ready to go back to the dating scene. I don't get it because my friends manage to "hook up" with a lot of girls and they aren't the best looking and I just don't get how they do it without trying. I don't try either but I just don't get it. My friends are more Outgoing than I am but I don't know if that is it.

How do you boost your own confidence so you can get the women?
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 2
view profile
History
Confidence
Posted: 10/13/2009 1:34:21 AM
Condidence level has to do with the other areas of your life. If you are happy in the other aspects of your life and enjoy doing what your doing, your confidence will exude. If on the otherhand you are in a job you hate and arent content with aspects of your life, you will exhibit a lack of it. In order to get confidence you need to work on those other aspects of your life then the other will follow.
 thwipp89
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 3
view profile
History
Confidence
Posted: 10/13/2009 1:48:10 AM
the red hot chili peppers once said: funk is an attitude.
it's all about attitude, i think- be positive, outgoing, confident.

"be the ball", so to speak. i think that's a quote from 'caddy shack'...
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 4
view profile
History
Confidence
Posted: 10/13/2009 5:23:28 AM

Two, just be like " fu ck all and everyone, I dont give a shit". The guys that get girls talking to them dont care of whats going to happen.
That would depend on the calibre of woman you are trying to attract.

I'm more attracted to the type of guy that cares what I think, while not caring what the person next to me thinks without being rude. He has to engage me by being interested, otherwise chances are I won't even notice he's alive.

I'm an absolute sucker for controlled arrogance...
 mysteryeyes
Joined: 10/6/2009
Msg: 5
Confidence
Posted: 10/13/2009 6:56:53 AM
I would recommend David Deangelo to you my friend..

Like one Poster said, confidence does stem from other aspects of your life, Your living situation, how much money you have, your vehicle, looks, size of your package..lol

Confidence is built up through time I know, because 6 years ago I had very little, and today I have all the confidence in the world, some would say too much, but another thing is its all about knowing who you are what you want and what you dont want..

As far as Getting the ladies goes, Im already assuming you're like 95% of men who have trouble with getting women, the problem is you care too much, or come off as intimidated by women.

If you want to be more successful attracting women bro, try saying some random things to them, act like you dont give a shit if they talk to you or like you or not, Be**** with them with some humor...

It helps if you have good looks because you dont always have to be smooth...lol

If you dont however you must step up your game.!!!!!!


Take it from a Vet Bro I know! Goodluck!
 voicebridge
Joined: 9/24/2009
Msg: 6
view profile
History
Confidence
Posted: 10/13/2009 8:31:39 PM
You need solid confidence before dating. For me confidence is a combination of being self sufficient, managing my money/time efficiently and working towards long term goals.

To gain REAL confidence you have to challenge yourself and work towards a goal or series of goals consistently.
For example I am applying to medical schools, which is a series of difficult hoops you jump through and each will build your confidence (or ruin your chances). The end result is pretty inspiring of course.

Try consistently volunteering, running, weight lifting or anything really that gets you out of your comfort zone. If you are afraid of something face it, correct it and laugh about it later.

I have always concentrated on building my confidence and making sure I am happy with myself before allowing anyone else in my life. Quality women definitely notice and test your confidence, which is great, because it is more important than your looks and wallet.
 Sherlock101
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 7
view profile
History
Confidence
Posted: 10/14/2009 9:21:46 PM
Some really good advice here. Sometimes we just have low self confidence and need some kind of boost, it happens.
When I was younger and going out a lot I finally figured out why some got more girls than others. Don't be a doormat i.e. that super thoughtful guy that always says yes. Don't ever treat a women bad but learn to say no more often. You'll figure out what I'm saying once you start.
I never had the gift of gab like many of my friends who did a lot better than me at one time. But I loved to laugh and that made a big difference. There use to be this club I went to that had a huge rectangular bar going around the club and there was a big circular bar that constantly rotated inside that. I was sitting there with a few friends one night when these two guys I some what knew came up to me and asked how I did it. I was like did what, they said get the girls.
I told them to look across the bar and asked what they saw. They said a bunch of guys mostly. I said what are they doing? Most were just sitting there sipping on their drinks and looking around with a long look on their faces. I asked what me and my friends looked like when they came over. They said you guys were joking and laughing, it looked like you were having a great time. I then said, now if you were a girl which bunch would you rather approach?
You'll find it gets easier with time to talk to strangers and have a good time. I was very shy when I was younger but I always had a joke or two. So your sitting there and don't know anyone. Just say, I heard this great joke today and tell them one. Now they are no longer a stranger.
If that doesn't work then there's always the one thing that works no matter what. Big money...
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Confidence