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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?      Home login  
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 caregiver766
Joined: 8/29/2009
Msg: 1
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Ok Guys...what's been your experience? The longer it takes to get her in bed, the less talented a lover she is? Or is there any relationship at all? Talent Vs. Virtue..The more old-fashioned...the less passionate/talented lover she is?
 ridemtgrl
Joined: 5/27/2009
Msg: 2
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The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 10/15/2009 3:33:33 PM
Oh, my friend you have had some sorry experiences I see.
Just because she makes you wait doesn't mean shes lame. Its just that we have to kiss a thousand frogs before we find a single prince. So, if we break down and sleep with all those frogs, whos going to want to take us seriously? No future husband wants to hear his special woman has been with a huge number of men.
Give us a break, we want to be very special to the man we share ourselves with, and it takes time to figure that out.
Oh, by the way calling her 20 times a day doesn't spell special, it makes us crazy.
Best wishes for finding that somebody special who rocks your world.
 bluesandrock
Joined: 6/24/2009
Msg: 3
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 10/15/2009 3:44:19 PM
No correlation what so ever.
 soxfan64
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 4
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 10/15/2009 3:48:04 PM
If she is lousy in bed you should ask yourself what YOU are doing wrong.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 5
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 10/15/2009 3:59:20 PM

Unfortunately, I am not like "many men" and am not looking for "no strings" sex. I want to find a serious relationship and someone to come home to every night


What happened to this virtuous guy?

It has nothing to do with talent.
 farscapeprincess
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 6
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 10/15/2009 4:09:55 PM

Oh, my friend you have had some sorry experiences I see.
Just because she makes you wait doesn't mean shes lame. Its just that we have to kiss a thousand frogs before we find a single prince. So, if we break down and sleep with all those frogs, whos going to want to take us seriously? No future husband wants to hear his special woman has been with a huge number of men.
Give us a break, we want to be very special to the man we share ourselves with, and it takes time to figure that out.
Oh, by the way calling her 20 times a day doesn't spell special, it makes us crazy.
Best wishes for finding that somebody special who rocks your world.


I had this conversation with a friend over the past weekend (see bold). I told her that if I kissed all the frogs to get my prince, I'd have worts. I think it comes down to having some pride in yourself to not just fall into bed with some guy for the hell of it before you get to know them.

 farceur
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 7
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 10/15/2009 4:32:55 PM
The premise of men trying to get women into bed while women hold out for the right man belongs to a failed approach to start with, so any result of it will be as unsatisfying and as pointless as the premise itself.
 IRLImBQD
Joined: 2/27/2009
Msg: 8
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 10/15/2009 4:36:59 PM
Absolutely not. The two have nothing to do with each other.
 P.R.Handgrenade69
Joined: 4/10/2009
Msg: 9
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 10/15/2009 4:39:02 PM
Didn't it ever occur to you that she wants to take time to get to know you?*sheesh*
 joshblueyes
Joined: 10/12/2009
Msg: 10
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 10/15/2009 5:00:01 PM
3 dates. The ones that are sooner usually are just a fling.
 forumfishie
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 11
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 10/15/2009 5:14:08 PM
It takes two to........... do the horizontal mambo!
Maybe you are not such a great leading man.
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 12
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The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 10/15/2009 5:16:57 PM
OP - what's the rush? Did your Doc give you 3 months to live? IMO, if a guy thinks it's the end of the world if he hasn't shagged me by the 2nd date, for me, it's the end of the beginning. Is it really about the 'score" or the human being?
 girlwPriOriTies
Joined: 9/30/2009
Msg: 13
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 10/15/2009 5:30:37 PM
oh geeze hahahhahahahahhahahahaaa men are more stupid than i thought
 ReBluez
Joined: 10/1/2009
Msg: 14
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 10/15/2009 5:45:05 PM
With the right woman, is there really such a thing as bad sex????

Regardless of when it happens, first date... sixteenth date... if you're really into her, the sex will never be bad. And talent is subjective. I don't need a kuma satra to be totally satisfied.



Bluez
 dot*
Joined: 10/9/2009
Msg: 15
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 10/15/2009 6:18:56 PM
Haven't read the other posts, but...

I equate sex to dancing. Both are somewhat "learned", and yet you still have your natural...talents (for lack of a better word). Combine the two and you get your product; good or lousy (though the spectrum is much wider than that).

I have always been outgoing and confident in every way. I also love music. For some reason, I was shy to dance (other than slow-dancing) up until about 3 years ago. My friends still laugh at that...

Anyway, I now feel great dancing. I have been told by guys and girls that I'm a good dancer. I also know fantastic dancers who have been dancing their whole lives.

The point? The hastiness at which a woman will jump into bed with you is not necessarily related to how amazing she is, and vice versa.

Edit: On the other hand, one *can* argue that somebody who is eager to have sex may also be eager with others besides you, which can mean that she's had more experience and thus, might be better.

Both arguments are completely valid and yet they counter each other. So, since they cancel each other out, the only sure conclusion I can reach is that there *is* no sure-fire way to tell how good (or bad) a lady is in bed until you're actually in bed with her.

Happy boinkin'!
 Husbandman
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 16
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 10/15/2009 6:45:16 PM
The funny thing about this for me is that in my past relationships the "first time" was rarely good; but almost always became more satisfying with time.
 Connor-19
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 17
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 10/15/2009 7:37:12 PM
There is probably some truth to this.

Girls who drop their panties after 1 date and date multiple men probably have a lot more experience.

That being said who cares if they're a good lover if they aren't connecting on the emotional level as well?

I'll take a bad lover and turn her into a good lover any day.

Kkthxbai
 startle
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 18
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 10/15/2009 7:47:24 PM
maybe she takes longer to get into bed because she does not really like sex...she has never become experienced because of her lack of interest...this is true of men too..some men look at sex strictly as a bodily function...they are also sold on the whole idea sex is sinful and women who endulge their passions are tarts... these two groups should get together and engage in passionless sex ....over as quickly as possible...the rest of us can have our fun without the frumps hanging around frowning in disgust...
 durandal26
Joined: 3/16/2008
Msg: 19
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 10/15/2009 9:45:48 PM
Here's some facts:

Women who are willing to have sex relatively sooner can be good or bad in bed.

Women who want to wait a relatively long amount of time (3 months, 6 months, etc.) can be good or bad in bed.

Women who have had a lot of sex can be good or bad in bed, but on average are better due to practice.

Women who have not had a lot of sex can be good or bad, but on average are worse due to lack of practice.

Women who have had a lot of sex can either be willing to have sex relatively soon or want to wait. However, those who have had a lot of sex in the past are more likely to be willing to have sex relatively soon.

Women who have not had a lot of sex can either be willing to have sex soon or want to wait. However, those who have not had a lot of sex in the past are more likely to want to wait longer.

Therefore, on average women who are willing to have sex sooner is better in bed than women who want to wait a long time.

But of course, both types of women can be good in bed and both can be bad in bed.

And a physical connection, while very important, should be secondary to an emotional connection
 SimplyStella202
Joined: 8/5/2009
Msg: 20
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 10/15/2009 9:58:52 PM
lol.. Is that what the males of the species think? You could be on right track, because if it takes a long time, then the chick's got her own rule book with her, and may only do it on the 9th date, or 10th date.. blah blah blah.. I think that if two people are really attracted to each other, the chemistry's all there, and they 've had a really good time together, doing whatever it is they've done on the date so far, what's the harm if you 're ready to jump each other's bones! Mind you, I will qualify that by adding that this attraction, for me personally, must feel very mutual, and we're both very in tune with one another. There are ways to tell by reading body language during your date, if you're going to make it to the sack? But, for me, it has to be felt within me, that the guy's really into me.. If I don't sense it, feel it, fully in my soul and body.. it's not happening!
 SimplyStella202
Joined: 8/5/2009
Msg: 21
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 10/15/2009 10:01:38 PM
And on the lighter side, if the chick's inexperience and has a virgin or madonna syndrome, then you don't really want to go to bed with her anyway.. Who needs a virgin.. I think guys want some one experience enough to know how to insert a little finger a certain way for example, when performing oral sex, that will bring him to a deep climax. Most virgins dont' t know how to do that.. They used to throw all the virgins in the volcano, didn't they.. ??
 SoftAndHappy
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 22
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 10/15/2009 10:11:08 PM

You realize that there is a correlation between more partners and more experience (and thus, more skill), right?

I disagree with this.

Someone who has been in a monogomous relationship with a loving partner for say... 5 years... where the couple is quite sexual and experimental will have WAY more experience than someone who has had one lover a month for the last 5 years.

The number of partners does not necessarily equate to experience. Particularly GOOD experimental experience. I would tend to think that this kind of good, experimental experience comes with a solid built trust and a close, intimate relationship.

Actually, I would argue that the person with more partners likely has had shorter relationships and has not had to deal with 'boredom' in the bedroom and troubleshoot ways to overcome that and keep things spicey. You can have a repertoire of one position if you only have sex once with 500 different men. If you have sex 500 times with the same man, you gotta change it up - you know?

I wonder if there is more of a correlation between number of significant relationships and skill? That would make more sense to me.
 Erinlove
Joined: 11/30/2008
Msg: 23
The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 10/16/2009 5:53:33 AM
Pride be damned, I have needs.
I got a secret for you, the one "they" don't want you to know about. Women put out for lover type guys, and withhold sex for provider types. The same girl can appear "virtuous" or fun depending on the guy.

There are prudes no matter what (chickens and game players) and there are women who demand equal pleasure no matter what (horny and no nonsense) .. But majority says, if a man is sexy and is alpha (lover type) she'll put out quickly.. If a man is tender, stable and alpha (provider type) she'll wait to prove her loyalty and to test his loyalty for the long term.

I am sick of this self respect and virtue nonsense. I will abandon my needs or take on foul labels for doing what men do, on a lesser scale even, once men start denying themselves as well. The man who turns me down in the name of self respect can cast the first stone. Until then if sex makes them go away like morons, it is there loss. So much so that it sucks to be them, I'm great xD
hehehe
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 24
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The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 10/16/2009 6:34:22 AM
Very interesting, Erinlove. It's a perspective I hadn't seen before, and it makes a great deal of sense. Thanks for sharing that information. Is this your own insight, or did you find it somewhere, and if the latter, do you have a reference?


Women put out for lover type guys, and withhold sex for provider types. The same girl can appear "virtuous" or fun depending on the guy.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 25
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The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover?
Posted: 10/16/2009 7:05:00 AM
I think that every woman has to speak for herself on this subject....

As for provider types and lover types...well, I think that's probably more relevant to women who are looking for someone to provide for them in the first place...IE. maybe women of child-bearing age...

As for behaving like men do...well, I have had my share of casual sex and will say that I have had it with men that I wouldn't consider having a ltr with for a VARIETY of reasons...But mostly I've done it because I'm a human being and if I don't get touched on a regular basis, sooner or later , I end up feeling like a stick of dried up wood!!!! And guys that I'm PHYSICALLY attracted to come along much more frequently than guys that I'm physically, intellectually and emotionally attracted to.
I see that the old double standard is STILL alive and well in 2010, (almost) and I have to wonder if the OP is really just looking to get some sort of "guarantee" for his investment of time and/or money?!?!?!

I'm a 43 year old ,grown-up, girl-person and will sleep with who I want to and YES I have slept with men and had zero emotional connection and had FABULOUS sex, and slept with them WITH an emotional connection and had FABULOUS sex!!! (That's just because I'm GREAT in bed!!!)


As someone else mentioned...It depends on the skills (whether natural or learned) of BOTH people...So if SHE'S not good...What's wrong with YOU?!?!?!?
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