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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > I need advice please!      Home login  
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 Okietokie88
Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 4
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I need advice please! Page 1 of 1    
I'm not really sure what to tell ya mate... I mean I'm happy you were dedicated to a woman you "Thought" you loved but this type of negativity occurs and we learn from it. I'm still a virgin and I am also green around the proverbial ears and have made silly mistakes such as this but as long as we can walk away from every encounter then that is truly our biggest silver lining. I know it seems cruel and insensitive but she just isn't as mature as you are and though she may or may not be as of now she will always hold a spacial place in her heart for you; wondering what ever happened to the one that got away so to speak. If I were you I'd salvage the last bits of your life while you can and cut your ties with her before you give up more of your life in a one sided relationship. Run to whatever pulls you the most money (though you will become lonely) and THEN worry about completing yourself in the since of romantic endeavors....Maybe she'll wait maybe you won't but for gods sake mate stabilize yourself before you try and save another in distress. I wish you luck and by no means do I believe this situation is easy or black and white.
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 5
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I need advice please!
Posted: 10/15/2009 9:17:00 PM
I have to ask why you're cutting off your nose to spite your face? You say you love her and you have issue with what she's done/doing.. yet you don't tell her your true feelings. She told you what she thought of your plans and you listened to her. Now, it's your turn to speak your mind.. See how she reacts when you tell her.. If she is receptive to some kind of compromise (like, perhaps you going with her as you seem to have no real ties where you are) then I don't see why you can't make this work.

If she balks at you going with her.. well then, you have your answer about how devoted she actually is to you and this relationship.

Why just give up without telling her what you're actually feeling?
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 7
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I need advice please!
Posted: 10/16/2009 9:18:28 AM
OP: You've not yet been open and honest with your g/f. You have not told her what you've told us.. Be honest with her on how you're feeling..
She asked me one time if I want her to stay I just have to tell her, I smiled, I don't want her to stay because of ME telling her that!! thats not love!
... and THAT'S not COMMUNICATION! If you don't be honest with her.. you will regret it for a long time. For all you know, she could be thinking you don't care enough to even state that you want to be with her. She gave you an opportunity to speak and all you did was tell her "why, you're not going to not go for me".. Grow up and communicate.

If she's not willing to compromise.. then at least you'll know for certain.

Good luck .. an take those who give you "kick her to the curb" advice with a grain of salt.. they haven't even addressed the fact that you're hiding your resentment and hurt from your lady.
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 11
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I need advice please!
Posted: 10/16/2009 3:11:56 PM

I was offered alot of jobs in Washigton DC and other places but I passed them all just to stay with her
That was a decision that you made that YOU felt would be in YOUR best interests AT THE TIME. It was a decision you made, that she appeared to want. So.. you cannot base what YOU decided to do.. on her wishes. You did it because YOU wanted to.. If you stayed but wanted to go.. then that is your issue, not your g/friend's. Now.. she isn't breaking up with you.. she's asked you to go with her.. If you don't want to go, then don't. But don't blame her for not wanting you in her life.. she wants you there. Blame your ego which is coming through loud and clear when you say things like: "It proves that I'm not her first priority."


she is wonderful woman, very loyal and she took care of me ALOT

I wish you happiness and the insight to chose what will make you the most happy.
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 13
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I need advice please!
Posted: 10/16/2009 3:49:40 PM
No your not over reacting. You experienced a selfish women, what was good for you wasent good for her. She is a hypocrate. My recomendation is to see if that 100k positon is still available and take it if that is what you want. You had plans you didnt follow through with, a choice you made. Just think of it as a lesson in life. Women so often complain about how men are selfish but fail to realize when the situation is reversed(shoe on the other foot) they do the same thing that they objected to. My suggestion is to reach the goals you set for yourself. If a women wont wait for you then she isnt worth it and you have to cut her loose.
 Maytherman
Joined: 8/13/2009
Msg: 14
I need advice please!
Posted: 10/16/2009 8:15:06 PM
Same thing my ex just did to me. Had a great relationship, she wanted to be with me forever and all that bs, then one day she changed her mind because she wanted her career and I wasn't a priority anymore. You NEED to talk to her, and tell her EVERYTHING that is on your mind. If you two are truly "in love" you BOTH will make compromises and sacrifices to be with each other.
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