Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > i just want to kiss you.......all night long !!! RIGHT.............      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 myluv4you
Joined: 1/30/2007
Msg: 1
i just want to kiss you.......all night long !!! RIGHT...................Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
this is going 2 sound dumb as hell, and maybe im 'a idiot - so crucify me !!!

i met a guy online ( this site, no less ) who fits ALL my criteria. hard 2 believe, but true

we like each others photos, enjoy each others emails and indulge in long-distance txts several x per week....

next month he is finally coming home from a 10 + month deployment. he wants me to come visit him in his new place of abode at the other end of the country upon his return. he has offered to pay for my flight, but NOT my hotel. ( no prob, i got sum cheese to pay my own room, plus enough hilton points 2 cover at least a few nights 4 free ) this is apparently offensive 2 him , as he wants me to stay w/ him.... SWEARIN up and down that he wants to "just kiss"

i'm like HUH ? i'm not sure if i'm being lured out there for sex >????? which he's probably had precious little ( if any ) of in the past year or so.....but i already told him sex was NOT happening.....and he say s "thats ok" am i being set up here ? possibly something sinister ? i think i should know better, but i have developed serious feelings for him and have trouble focusing on reality. if anyone could validate / invalidate my concerns it would be GREATLY appreciated ! thx....
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 2
i just want to kiss you.......all night long !!! RIGHT...................
Posted: 10/17/2009 12:29:27 AM
Valid concerns. Meet in neutral territory. Infatuation with someone online can be distinctly different from what you actually get in person. If there's to be no sex, he should have no objection to wherever it is you stay. Who knows...there are any number of unsavory things he may have up his sleeve. He may be serious about not having sex but if so, I find it unlikely. He wants a controlled situation of his making. I hate this expression here but I'll use it anyway...a definite red flag as far as I'm concerned.

vvvv As far as verification of his identity, let's put it this way as an example. Everyone knows who the catholic priest is and where he resides...then he's found to have molested kids. Verification of identity has no bearing on what some may be capable of.
 myluv4you
Joined: 1/30/2007
Msg: 3
i just want to kiss you.......all night long !!! RIGHT...................
Posted: 10/17/2009 12:30:05 AM
i should mention that quite sum time ago, he gave me his full name and enough info 4 me to call upon a friend of mine to verify him ( its ridiculously easy to check out an active duty service member - especially one of higher rank ) . even a google search of his name validated everything he'd told me about himself. so even though he s a stranger......i know more about him ( from him being forthcoming about his identity ) than if he was just a random person. it mostly speaks to his professionalism and integrity on the job, but as far as character.....it could be the complete opposite. i 'm trying to make up my mind soon and its causing a lot of discomfort 4 me
 myluv4you
Joined: 1/30/2007
Msg: 4
he cant just come over here -
Posted: 10/17/2009 12:39:43 AM
this much i do know : from my background : when your in the military you can't just come / go at will. depending on your duties / responsibilities you may not even be able to venture a certain distance from your duty station, esp if you are directly responsible for many others. thats NOT something he's making up, when i was married there was times my (ex)husband couldnt break away and come home to visit even though he wanted to.....
 myluv4you
Joined: 1/30/2007
Msg: 5
i just want to kiss you.......all night long !!! RIGHT...................
Posted: 10/17/2009 12:47:45 AM
Posted: 10/17/2009 12:35:41 AM


I'm sure he'll be reading all of this, if he hasn't done so all ready.....since you met him on this site to begin with.

nope, he doesnt know about the forums.......and as far as the *double bed* - i meant i want to be re-married, not sleep in ANYon'e sbed
 PiggyT
Joined: 9/14/2009
Msg: 6
i just want to kiss you.......all night long !!! RIGHT...................
Posted: 10/17/2009 1:13:19 AM
An example maybe?

I have a buddy who is on this site. He was talking with a woman that lived a few provinces down from him. They hit it off. They chatted/msn'd/shared pics/talked on the phone etc etc. This happened for about 2 months. He was telling me how excited he was that she was coming for a visit...

She did!

I asked him shortly afterward how it all went as I believe they both thought they would be kissing all night long right.......

WRONG

No attraction when she showed up.

(remember an old show called the Gong show? This would be where they hit the GONG!!!)

Up to you, but be realistic as you have never actually met this man.
 Write Time
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 7
view profile
History
i just want to kiss you.......all night long !!! RIGHT...................
Posted: 10/17/2009 1:17:45 AM
Think of this situation as one of those cartoons about "What you say to your dog" and "What your dog hears."

When you say to the man "We won't be having sex," he's actually hearing "I'm saying now 'we won't be having sex,' but when I actually see you, I'm sure to change my mind."

He totally expects to be having sex with you upon your visit, and if you think otherwise ... well, you're delusional.

And, y'know, think twice about flying to a strange city for a *first meeting* with a total stranger. OK, he writes great emails and texts -- Hitler was an artist. What do you really *know* about this guy?

Be safe ...
 mrmisterme
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 8
view profile
History
i just want to kiss you.......all night long !!! RIGHT...................
Posted: 10/17/2009 1:18:58 AM
"and as far as the *double bed* - i meant i want to be re-married, not sleep in ANYon'e sbed "
What you write could be taken differently from what you meant.
 myluv4you
Joined: 1/30/2007
Msg: 9
i just want to kiss you.......all night long !!! RIGHT...................
Posted: 10/17/2009 1:27:23 AM
misc observation: And U expect 2 marry, without sex first

are you drunk or naturally slow - witted ? yes, i'll hve sex b4 marriage, no i wont sleep w/ someone upon 1st meeting them . its NOT rocket science, dude
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 10
i just want to kiss you.......all night long !!! RIGHT...................
Posted: 10/17/2009 3:13:01 AM
I would take him at his word ...you have checked him out .. he is high ranked in the military .. they have high honorable self discipline ..he well aware that any charge of sexual misconduct will result in detriment to his career..as well as possible court marshal ... he wants to maximize his chances with you so he wants to have you as his guest in his house ... go and I hope that you are so intrigued by him that you do want to have sex with him before yur trip ends ..or maybe your trip wont end ... there are men of honor ..and the military is a great place to find them .. yes I have spent the night with women before ..Just kissing and what resulted was not the blue balls but a deep affection ... I have also agreed to a date where sex would not be involved ..and before the date was over we had both changed our mind ..and we decided to have sex and what resulted from this date was also a deep affection ... actually I ended up married to the date who gave in to sex ...logistics demand compromise sometimes in this day of global dating ...dont pass up on the possibility of meeting your soul mate just because of logistics .... you seem to have done your investigating ... now go and have fun...im convinced that if you stay with him and you do have sex it will be because you want to .. or you could agree to leave the decision on the hotel room till after the date
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 11
i just want to kiss you.......all night long !!! RIGHT...................
Posted: 10/17/2009 3:52:44 AM

A man of honor, a gentleman, would not insist a women who has just met him stay in his home. He would not offer to pay for her travel but refuse to pay for a hotel for her.



im going to bet that if she sticks to her guns he will pay for the hotel ... every one haggles whether for affection or buying a car


I take it you've never been in the military LMAO. You're kidding, right?



yes I have been in the military and there are all the types in there ..you mentioned .. and the undesirables do get the press ...it has been a long time since I was in the service ..but i still think the honorable ones far out number the trash
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 12
view profile
History
i just want to kiss you.......all night long !!! RIGHT...................
Posted: 10/17/2009 8:05:59 AM
Did he specify WHAT PART OF YOU he wants to kiss?
 farscapeprincess
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 13
i just want to kiss you.......all night long !!! RIGHT...................
Posted: 10/17/2009 9:17:24 AM
Even though you've verified his identity, I would still book that room in the Hilton. Hey, you've got the points to cover it for free. It's really better that way because you'll feel more comfortable. Tell him that you still want to meet in a public place first because after all, the only thing you have to go on is e-mail and pictures. You might decide that there is no chemistry after having done all that e-mailing. It might be the same with him. You might get a creepy vibe from him. Or he may be the great guy that he has represented himself to be. BUT, I wouldn't believe for a minute that all he wants to do is kiss especially since he has been without for so long. He is looking for more than kissing.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 14
view profile
History
i just want to kiss you.......all night long !!! RIGHT...................
Posted: 10/17/2009 10:09:43 AM

Oh please, you have up the typical hoochie mama pics & you are confused because he wants sex.

Geez go peddle your bs story somewhere else.

Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!

Wazhiz has it right. Would you really want him if he didn't have sex on the brain, seeing as how you're basically asking for it?
I mean, how weird would that be?
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 15
view profile
History
i just want to kiss you.......all night long !!! RIGHT...................
Posted: 10/17/2009 10:27:19 AM
My guess is is he interpreting your not believing him is a sting on his honour and integrity.

Get a hotel incase what you both feel from your online exchanges doesn't translate to real life. Nothing is worse than being trapped with someone you don't want to be. A room protects both of you from that happening and has nothing to do with his honour or lack of it.

One can always cancel a few nights if it works out that way.
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 16
view profile
History
i just want to kiss you.......all night long !!! RIGHT...................
Posted: 10/17/2009 10:47:27 AM
Um, kiss you where????



 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 18
i just want to kiss you.......all night long !!! RIGHT...................
Posted: 10/17/2009 5:09:22 PM
Getting a hotel room might not be the safety net everyone is making it out to be. If you are going to meet this guy and you both have real or imaginary feelings towards one another you very well could end up in one bed or the other anyway.

So what if you did agree to visit him at his house? Exactly what/where is "his house" anyway? Does he have hs own place? Does he live with others? If things didn't pan out couldn't you take a cab to a hotel? If you paid for a hotel and ended up staying at his plac by choice, that's not a wise use of tmoney anyway.

Maybe you could tell him you will reserve the room (so he at least knows you have options). If you are happy with the way things are going, then just cancel the room when you get there. Check with the hotel for cancellation requirements.
 myluv4you
Joined: 1/30/2007
Msg: 19
i just want to kiss you.......all night long !!! RIGHT...................
Posted: 10/19/2009 6:50:57 PM
wazhiz on 10/17/2009 709 AM
Subject: i just want to kiss you.......all night long !!! RIGHT...................
Message: Oh please, you have up the typical hoochie mama pics & you are confused because he wants sex.

Geez go peddle your bs story somewhere else.

i think its hilarious ( and predictable ) that the few ppl that have knocked my photos are the same ones who look like THEY couldnt get a date if they stood on their heads i have trouble believing anyone would pay for a ticket for them, they'd probably pay them to LEAVE. you know who u are !!!

i say : if ive got it : i should flaunt it and NO : dressin sexy does NOT mean i'm askin for sexual activity ! you ignorant hags prolly think every woman who dresses provocative and gets raped "deserves" it or "asked" for it. that thinkin went out in the 60's , yall ! get with the times
 myluv4you
Joined: 1/30/2007
Msg: 20
i just want to kiss you.......all night long !!! RIGHT...................
Posted: 10/19/2009 6:53:13 PM
Generally I have found that the woman sets the rules and men wait to see what the possibilies are. Since it is long distance I'm wondering if it works out, would you move there to be with him? Just curious.

yes, i would ! in a heartbeat
 WasabiGal
Joined: 8/10/2009
Msg: 21
i just want to kiss you.......all night long !!! RIGHT...................
Posted: 10/20/2009 1:53:28 AM
Post Deployment sex with a sure thing is every soldier's first plan.
Glad you'll take on for the team and pretend it's potentially long term love!
God Bless the Supporters of our Military!
Thanks!
Mother of an Army Officer.


Hear hear!!!!
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > i just want to kiss you.......all night long !!! RIGHT...................