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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.      Home login  
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 winteragain
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 26
Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not. Page 1 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
The fact that she put it out when she saw your face tells you she cares about you, and the fact that she doesn't want to get beat up by Mr. Anti-smoker. A person's habits aren't a telling of who they are on the inside. Ask her to pop a breath mint before making out, tell her to try nicorette gum, buy her straws to chew on in place of the oral psychosomatic feeling she gets from smoking. It's like dating someone with Down's Syndrome, you just gotta give them a chance ya know
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 27
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Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 10/18/2009 9:38:00 AM
I don't date anyone without letting them know that I am a smoker....And I will ALSO respect their oxygen, environment and even when living together will smoke outside/in garage/etc. And I agree that non-smokers, as with smokers, have the right to their preferences...

Having said that, radical non-smokers, (and YES I have been one myself for long periods of time), are as bad as any other fanatics...sorry!

And btw...You can die from many things, evidently, in this day and age...So until someone has stopped drinking, eating trans fats, and basically BREATHING and LIVING in virtually ANY major city, not to mention ANY OTHER SELF-DESTRUCTIVE behaviour...I would RUN 100 miles an hour in the opposite direction from someone who judges me for smoking...Especially when I am NOT inconveniencing or threatening them with my second-hand smoke....

Having said all of that...If someone lies about ANYTHING that they have put on their profile, yes you will have to question the veracity of pretty much anything else that they say....NOT a good beginning....
 valentino again
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 38
Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 10/18/2009 11:08:38 AM

I don't date anyone that smokes.


Interesting.. good for you..
I'm a smoker "Which i hate", yet the problem is some women contacting me their profile saying non smokers, "and don't date smokers", yet later seems they are smokers.. !!!.. can not understand those kind of minds/ lies / whatever .. yet when i was younger (with ex's and datng life), it seems no problem happened.. i take care of other people, as if there is non smokers or closed area even including smokers, i prefer to smoke outside the area , (The only smoking closed area i used to is my home), and no complaints toward my smoking happened to me from other dates that it affect them "except that it's more healthier for me".

PS: honestly i wish i can quit, yet stressful life and non-strong mind/well..
 jakl78
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 46
Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 10/18/2009 7:44:13 PM
I don't trust what the profile says and ask anyways just incase and if that make anyone mad oh well i guess i didn't want to date them anyways cause i quit smoking and am a stress smoker yet i can be smoke free for years but if i have a loved one in my life that smokes and they smoke menthols it is my weekness and i cave lots of times but i promised myself and my children so if once in a while smoking means holidays or only at the bar for a few drinks maybe but as a whole i have smoking rules and if they want to be a part of my life they abide by them or move on cause i have my kids health and will not bend on my smoking rules.
 techgirl27
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 48
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Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 10/18/2009 8:19:18 PM
well if I were ever faced with a situation like that, I'd be getting them one of those electric nicotine things, anything to get the smoke out of my clothes and out of their breath!
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 50
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Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 10/18/2009 9:39:28 PM
scd:

You clearly indicate on your profile "must not smoke."
Can I also assume that were you given the choice you would also prefer "must not lie" about black and white issues -- i.e., smoker, yea or no?

You have a choice to make: do you want to set yourself up for more lies and prevarications to avoid messy situations, or do you want to establish a relationship based on trust and truth?

Personally, were it me and that ciggy came out as it did I believe she would have made the decision for both of us. Are you that hard up for (female) company that you would let her exploitation/manipulation slide like water off a duck's back?

TK
 m14shooter
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 65
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Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 10/22/2009 1:21:48 AM
I can put up with someone that lights up once in a while or smokes other than tobacco but if they light up in my truck I pull over for them to get out and I don't want to live in a smoked in home either. I grew up in the back seat of the car breathing smoke and I don't like it.
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 67
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Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 10/22/2009 4:43:55 AM
What can't be overlooked is she lied on her profile about a very important topic. Someone who lies can't be trusted, and if neither exists you would be building on a shaky foundation. Its you who has to decided the kind of person you want to be with, you already were honest with her and she slaps yo in the face with a lie. From my expereince, once a lier always a lier.
 licoricecat_1
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 69
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Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 10/22/2009 8:00:56 PM
Ask her if she usually smokes and how often. Does she plan on quitting in the near future? When? Dpending on these answers---feel it out. Then decide what you will put up with. I will not go out with a smoker. I have in the past. Long term relationships just don't work for me with a smoker. I am super into health and smoking kills your cells slowly and gets rid of oxygen in your tissues. I try to put oxygen into my cells by the foods and exercise I do. That would be counterproductive from the second hand smoke I would be inhaling in the smokers presence. I would be friends and maybe go out with this person once in a while but not hang out. Also if this person is a serious smoker---they lied about it. A mistake or afraid to reveal this character defect on their profile? My ex lied about having kids on his POF profile. That is a little more serious--yet he has grandchildren???? lol That is the primary reason I am going . Can't handle the lies and his behavior and double life.
 licoricecat_1
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 70
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Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 10/22/2009 8:16:14 PM
Want to say a few more things about smoking. Everyone has a right to choose to smoke or not. However, I have a right to be able to breath clean air. Everytime I am around smoke, I end up getting larnyxgitis for weeks and choke throughout the day in addition to the obvious of my clothes stinking. Smokers have a way of congruating together and chit-chat about all the office, church, neighborhood gossip and support eachother as they ask eachother for cigarettes, lights, etc. It actually is a social event when the smokers light up together. So the bonds get stronger as they communicate and share information and they actually form networks that could enhance their lives in other areas. Two of my children were born with asthma that I believe was formed from 2nd hand smoke since neither parent smoked. They have allergies to this day and I had to do CPR on my baby boy due to his asthma that he was born with. Smokers can do what they want as long as the smoke is confined, but it definitely is a health hazard. How do we treat other health hazards? Ask yourself that. Pot smoking is another thing that pollutes the air and it is done all the time at concerts with cops watching.
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 72
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Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/1/2009 5:53:11 AM
Seriously scd... you're three pages of warbling back and forth is making my head spin. Let's review the facts:

1. You don't want to date a smoker.
2. She is a smoker.

Really, I had intended to create a lengthy list, but I realized that these two tell the whole story. So either you will not date a smoker, or you're a hypocrite in that you say you won't, but you will date a smoker if she's got other attributes.

I wish I was still a smoker so I could light up right about now...
 waboloh
Joined: 8/31/2007
Msg: 74
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Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/1/2009 7:26:32 AM
The choice is clear, cut and dry. You find cigarettes and kissing someone who smokes repulsive. That says it all.
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 78
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Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:18:18 AM
I am a smoker.

*shrugs*

I am almost exclusively contacted by non-smokers. It states on my profile that I smoke. I do not, nor would I ever, lie about it. Now that being said, the last 3 guys I met didn't smoke, and so I didn't smoke when I was with them. At all. Out of respect for them.

Did they ask me to do this? Nope. Was the subject ever brought up? Nope. My ex-boyfriend was an ex-smoker..he didn't care if I smoked around him. He even insisted I smoke in his house, though I was there a number of times before I did. I would NEVER smoke in anyone's house without express permission..and if they didn't smoke, I would either wait until I left, or smoke outside. No big deal.

I love how no one bats an eye when someone bashes a smoker..someone in this thread said smoking is worse than being addicted to heroin. Really? You think so? Because I don't. I would never in a million years use heroin..it is an illegal drug, it is highly addictive (yes, smoking is as well, but NOT to the same degree at all), and obviously when people use, they get high, thus changing who they are to a certain extent. When a "junkie" doesn't get their fix they can be dangerous and unpredictable, and the withdrawal symptoms can be incapacitating..this is not true of a smoker. Yes, they may be ****y, but have you ever heard of a smoker robbing someone, or prostituting themselves just to get a cigarette? I don't think so.

Smoking is a terrible habit, no doubt. So is eating to much fatty foods and being obese. So is drinking a lot of alcohol. And on and on and on. Bottom line is, if you don't like it, stay away from it. Not rocket science.

The lady in question shouldn't have lied. That to me, is the real issue here. If it's deal breaker for you Opie, then break the deal.

 yourscooter62
Joined: 9/27/2009
Msg: 80
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Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/1/2009 11:09:17 AM
I tried one out this week.....It's really like kissing an ash tray!!!
Told her it was the deal breaker..sorry.
She understood and said good luck in your search.
 yourscooter62
Joined: 9/27/2009
Msg: 83
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Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/1/2009 1:22:53 PM
Right i told the date this week that it bothered me and she said she was never going to quit, she has smoked all her life and not changing now for me..I think she is reducing her dating choices by 80%, cause i would say 8 out of 10 people don't smoke.
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 86
Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/3/2009 11:04:02 AM
For me it depends on how much they smoke. I'll smoke a cigar every once in a great while, although I really don't care for them. Someone has a baby, you are with a group all having a cigar or some other special occasion. I don't think that classifies me as a smoker.

If I met a woman and she was an occasional smoker I might find it tolerable. I would expect that they were sincere and honest about how much they smoke. I've dated someone that smoked alot. Say 1 or more per hour. That was a dealbreaker for me. So like I said. It's not cut and dry for me.
 geminijen77
Joined: 8/31/2009
Msg: 90
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Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/3/2009 2:12:21 PM
I gotta say, smoking is a deal breaker for me. If I find out that someone smokes even just a few socially on Saturday nights, I just loose all interest. If it's a deal breaker for you, you gotta tell her. Maybe you can remain friends, maybe not. Hey; we all have standards, turn ons and turn offs.
Jen
 allymygirl2009
Joined: 2/27/2009
Msg: 95
Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:04:39 AM
As already said she lied on her profile, As i am sure many do, I know smokers have become much less , But lets be honest almost every profile I have viewed say they dont smoke... I smoke, do I chain smoke NO or in my home or anyone elses NO, Do I respect others and go away from people if I feel the need to smoke YES.

Even though I am in the process of quiting slowly, I still answered YES on my profile is it hurting the replies I get , yes, But atleast I was honest on my profile and thats what matters honesty.....
 allymygirl2009
Joined: 2/27/2009
Msg: 96
Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:10:13 AM
I love people that bash smokers, I may smoke, But I use breath mints and body spray if I feel the need to smoke. More then I can say for those that drink . I am not fond of kissing a guy whos breath/mouth smells of beer.
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 97
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Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:28:22 AM

^^^^^....

That's what I used to think too... mints and body sprays don't do a dayyyummmm thing...actually make it even worse...
this one year smoke free, I learned a lot about my self... how I used to smell, how I used to think it was nothing...

Once you quit, after 6 months you get your smell functionality/taste buds back... then you find out how terrible you *used to* smell...
believe me, it's obnoxious, disgusting to a non-smoker... all the mints in the world won't change that....
I've been a non-smoker for going on a year and a half now and I still love the smell of a burning cigarette... so exactly when is this distaste suppose to kick in?

Also, when I was a smoker, I worked closely with non-smokers... it came as a bit of a surprise to one of the girls that I was a smoker, two months after she and I started working on the same project and had constant contact with each other... I also had dated a man that had forgotten that I was a smoker... it was about three months into things that he realized this as he stopped by my work unexpectedly and I was outside having a cigarette... and no, I've never hidden that I was a smoker.

Not every smoker carries the smell with them...
 hotrodius
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 108
Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/15/2009 4:16:58 AM
That will never happen i have Zero tolerence for smokers.
 tj71
Joined: 1/11/2008
Msg: 110
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Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/30/2009 7:42:03 PM
I am a non smoker and I made the grave mistake of dating a smoker. I knew she smoked but, against my own beliefs, decided to continue dating her. Not only was she a smoker she was a 3 pack a day chain smoker that did not hold back at all! Let me tell you, before I met her I was just a regular joe who did not like it but was *ok* with it, and had dated a few gals who smoked before with no issues. I was ok with it, but of course I preferred a non smoker but if the right gal came around would tolerate it. Well this gal was great and I decided to give it a go. BIG MISTAKE. I am now an ANTI SMOKER who is appalled about this terrible addiction and am besides myself that Tobacco is even legal! (9/10 people get hooked on Tobacco!) It has been hell dealing with such an addict! She smokes a cig every ~20 minutes! She smokes several cigs in the morning with her morning coffee! Before she even gets in the shower! I was constantly waiting on her while she smoked. Everywhere we went we had to go outside to take "smoke breaks" It got old. She was constantly wasting my time and smokers are selfish like this. I told her within the first month that I did not want her to smoke in the car with me. After a huge fight she finally agreed to not do that. I told her I did not want lung cancer. Smokers are SELFISH! And the hacking cough and raspy voice did not help matters! And her ash tray perfume was terrible! She claimed early on she wanted to quit. That is why I hung on and wanted to make it work. I fell in love with her and I cared about her so I stuck around! She struggled to even try to quit and finally with lots of nagging did for 2 months (chantix) but relapsed and never tried again. (She kept saying she would try in a few weeks) A year later I ended it.

If you do not like smoking do yourself a favor and never date a smoker. The smokes will always come before you. You cannot change anyone.

I wonder how many relationships where one smokes and the other doesn't even lasts?
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 114
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Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 1/13/2010 10:54:35 AM
Just be honest. You would rather not date smokers, as you really get put off by the smell. You only contacted her because she wrote that she was a non-smoker, and she's not. End of.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 122
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Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 1/13/2010 2:03:26 PM
RE Msg: 118 by RonnieB77:
Deal killer for me. Don't like the smell or the smell of it on my clothes, in my hair or in my car or house. Don't like the breath or the taste. Like swingers and cheaters, smokers should date each other.
Smokers prefer to date each other. But smoking reduces the appetite. Conversely, quitting smoking so increases eating habits, that scientists have found that if you quit, you develop a much higher chance of diabetes. So in general, smokers tend to be slimmer than non-smokers. Today, with so many obese people, being slimmer is considered more attractive, but especially in women. So a lot of male non-smokers like to date female smokers. That causes a problem with the idea that smokers should date each other. Now, if male non-smokers wouldn't have sex with female smokers, that would make it possible for smokers to date each other. But what are the chances of that?
 blondindian
Joined: 10/6/2009
Msg: 134
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Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 1/14/2010 12:06:09 PM
Lets see another OP looking for politically correct opinions when clearly they should go with what makes them happy, if you are one of those people who has to have your own happiness determined by what others think you should do, I do indeed feel sorry for those people . Its true smoking is a nasty habit, but it is a habit that I chose . I being one that knows first hand as I smoke also. If you dont like it dont be around it the same goes for drunks druggies prostitution
And as to why anyone does things to their body they know as unhealthy ,problematic or known to cause trouble is a basis for all the shrinks in the world
For those that want to ban or shun or delete people from society who smoke lets just go all out and claim marshall law on these poisons or habits of ill repute
Zero tolerance: Drinking alchohol to any excess :exterminated
Zero tolerance :Drinking and Driving :exterminated
Zero tolerance :Consuming controlled or mind altering substance :exterminated
Zero tolerance :consuming coffee,chocolate, caffeine,preservatives;exterminated
Zero tolerance :Soliciting prostitution, giving or receiving:exterminated
Zero tolerance :STD's Being guilty of giving or receiving :exterminated
Zero tolerance:Spewing carbon monoxide and poison upon Earth:exterminated
Zero tolerance:Cheating ,adultery,premarital or unsafe sex:exterminated
Zero tolerance:Lying :exterminated
Zero tolerance :Being Jewish in Germany in Hitlers reign:exterminated
Zero tolerance: Whats Next oh STUPIDITY:EXTERMINATED
OH was that wrong? all I was trying to do was make it a better world as I see it, the list is endless,opps there isnt hardly anyone left on the planet ..the last perfect person I've ever heard of they nailed to a cross I for one would rather kneel at the bottom then be tacked to the top! Someone save us from ourselves....LOL
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