|Meeting StrangersPage 1 of 1 |
|Hi there...I want to know why guys would think that after talking to a woman a few times, she would want to a) come to his office when he is alone there or b) come to his house to meet him and then get offended when you turn them down. They have the nerve to say I am a nice guy, nothing is gonna happen. Wasnt Ted Bundy a nice, good looking guy...but was also a serial murderer/rapist? Why do guys think this is 1) acceptable to ask and 2) that we should go along with it....Any thoughts????|
Posted: 10/19/2009 10:31:40 PM
|actually it isnt acceptable|
and anyone that met someone regardless male or female at a non public spot is a moron , especially for the first few meets
there have been many newspaper articles about internet predators luring people to spots like that
Posted: 10/20/2009 7:33:17 AM
|Come to his office or his house for a FIRST DATE? Trubblemakr is right. Morons, out of their minds stupid. What is wrong with a drink or coffee in a public place? WHAT have they got to hide? SCARY!!!!!!!! Good luck|
Posted: 10/20/2009 2:45:06 PM
| Long ago I made the mistake of agreeing to meet at their place for the first date . I was too trusting back then. Now I trust only myself. Thankfully nothing bad has happened but I am not willing to take that chance anymore. I feel that if someone wants to meet me then they should respect my wishes and meet in a public place for the first few meetings, if not then I will not meet them. They are not worth putting myself in a possible dangerous situation. So I will now only meet in a public place .|
Posted: 10/31/2009 12:58:50 PM
|I do not think I would want to meet a lady who was that naive or unaware of whats going on.|
Ladies you should always be sure you have a way out of the public place that you meet. If he is a creep and follows you drive to a police station. Get his plate number.
These guys make it tough on decent men all over.
Posted: 10/31/2009 2:35:58 PM
|That is fine starting over I would not want to meet you either. As I said nothing happened . I have learned that there are no real decent men out there as they can say they are nice, when they want to be ,and turn just as fast. I made mistakes I am human after all|
Posted: 10/31/2009 7:55:36 PM
|Of couse it's unacceptable. What I would like to know is, are we expected to Q & A back and forth with a total stranger and then meet. Seems to me that there is a progression that should be taking place first, right. fFrst there is the physical attraction then a sew flirtful questions, then you meet and ask a few more questions of each other to see if you even like that person and want to spend any time with them at all. So now you are curious and so on .... I noticed this early on at POF. This is how most of us experience it in life growing up I do believe. Fine if a person is only here to find someone to take them to the bar, but seriouly the internet dating thing does have serios flaws it seems to me. Or maybe I am just stubbornly old-fashioned. I don't think so. I think the op is at least being honest and to some of us that still means something. |
Some of us have not been following the moral decline as well as others. I am just moving here to SK and have noticed that comparred to most of the rest of the country people who grew up here seem to have kept thier moral standards and principals better gaurded than others elsewhere.
Posted: 11/1/2009 11:47:11 AM
|I would like to know how many men and women have gone to the bar or a party and have left with someone they hardly know? Do you judge them like some have judged me? I have never gone home with a stranger or been with a stanger.|
Posted: 12/10/2009 5:49:27 PM
|I agree that it is a little foolish to go and meet someone alone but I also think everyone is overreacting a bit too. I'm not going to judge these guys that ask to meet alone. I mean in my opinion it should go; messaging, talking on the phone, meeting for a coffee (or somewhere else very public - more so either person could bail if need be), than maybe a more intimate date alone.|
I'm sure there are a lot of predators out there but I think most of these guys are either excited about the relationship, just want a lay, or really just don't know any better. Regardless none of these reasons, as bad as they may be, are as bad as people think.
Bottom line these guys should smarten up and pace themselves and everyone else shouldn't blow everything out of proportion.
Posted: 12/13/2009 6:35:17 PM
|^^^ YOU MAY BE CORRECT. The world is all paranoid these days. Once in a few million is there trouble. I blame this all on the media and governments. Fok the minorities. Fok the paranoia and make your life fun and exciting. Experiences are what makes us all aware of the LIVING!|
Posted: 1/17/2012 1:59:11 AM
|Because of today's technology we seem to live in an "instant-coffee-world" where things happen with a click of the mouse. It can get frustrating when moral integrity is overshadowed with an animal libido. THAT'S why some guys want to meet privately. Those guys seem to forget that there's a chance SHE'S the wingnut. DUMMIES!!!!! .....they invite a stranger to where they LIVE.|
Posted: 11/4/2012 12:51:14 PM
|Do what feels right... |
If you don't feel right meeting somebody after one interaction online... then don't do it... I can't imagine why anybody would trust anybody online without a little research...
There are only a few ways that I would meet somebody in person after only visiting with them online... 1) I have seen them online for a LONG time, and know there behaviour... you can tell after a period of time how a person is.
2) Are they adding value to others... IE... is this person helping others, is that their personality type.
If a person is brand new online/POF and you can't research their history, take your time
In the old days, people knew each other from the neighbourhood, or from work. There was a common setting that was publicly administered. People talk about who knows who and who does what... there is constant evaluation of people and what they're doing. Online is void of all of that.
Take your time with people. Patience is a really good thing with online friendships/dating.
Posted: 11/11/2012 10:23:58 PM
|I have had men wanting me to go to their house on the first date. I already know that means that these men want sex and not a relationship. And yes, I am the one that would mention that I would prefer meeting somewhere public.|
Posted: 6/1/2013 10:13:20 AM
|I have a question to you, if I asked you to meet for coffee after two chats what would be the problem? You meet people in bars, at work, malls each day. You pass strangers camping, hiking, fishing ... I see no problem asking to meet in a public place but if you do not feel comfortable with that yet at least say you do not so you can see a reaction.just do not make it sound like a rejection as I bet you will ever hear from him again. Nobody likes rejections.|
Posted: 6/1/2013 10:14:54 AM
|Forgive me I miss read. Public spots are fine, private spots are not.|